When Leaders Are Good Bad Examples

 

 

Photo Credit: Google Images
Photo Credit: Google Images

Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing. – Albert Schweitzer

A story is told of when Gen. George C. Marshall took command of the Infantry School at Fort Benning, GA. He found the post in a generally run-down condition. Rather than issue orders for specific improvements, he simply got out his own paintbrushes, lawn equipment, etc., and went to work on his personal quarters. The other officers and men, first on his block, then throughout the post, did the same thing, and Fort Benning was brightened up.

While no one would argue that leadership by example is the best way to lead, unfortunately, we have plenty of leaders who do not. I know the frustration of working with such leaders and the challenges associated with it. It can make life miserable.

Regardless of where your leadership role places you in your organizational structure there are lessons to be learned from bad examples. An article in Inc. magazine (http://on.inc.com/1p5c4Bj) highlighted some common bad boss behaviors. Here are a few of the findings from the Harris poll: My boss doesn’t talk about my life outside of work, my boss won’t talk on the phone (or in person), my boss doesn’t know my name, my boss takes credit for other’s ideas, and they don’t give clear directions.

Can you identify with any of the cited behaviors? What would you add to the list? Regardless, here is a hard truth I learned some time ago- either change your attitude or change your address. I know that can be a tough pill to swallow especially if you feel trapped without a good viable option. It can be demoralizing. So what is a leader like you to do when your leader sets a good bad example?

Be the example your leader is not

Instead of wasting time focusing on everything that is wrong with the leader in your organization that sets a bad example, make it your priority to do what is right. You are only responsible for your actions, attitudes, and behaviors. What expectations do you have for the leader(s) in your organization? Model it. The best leader is the one who knows how to lead himself.

Be part of the solution

The path of least resistance in your organization is to sing along with the chorus of complainers. It requires little. But if you are going to emerge as a leader worthy of respect then take the high road and be part of the solution. It’s easy to find fault. A leader will seek to find solutions. In the end, your leader who is a bad example may continue to be a bad example, but at least you will have a clear conscience that you did the right thing.

Be understanding of their plight

Leadership is hard. John Maxwell was right when he observed, “It’s lonely at the top so you better know why you are there.” Sometimes we judge the actions and/or behaviors of leaders in our organizations with limited information. Do we really know the whole story or are we simply listening to the latest gossip going around the office? With hard work and determination one day it very well could be you in that position so be careful to not let bad karma come back and bite you. Be understanding and reserve judgment. Your leader is human just like you and you may not know the personal struggles that he or she is going through.

Be intentional about your growth

As a developing leader it is important to be intentional about your growth. From bad leaders in my past I’ve learned valuable lessons that served me well later in life. Uppermost I learned how not to treat people. Your time around a good bad example may not serve any other purpose than that, but learn it. Be observant. Take notice of the good bad examples and their leadership styles and the effects it has on the organization.  We’d all rather be around good leaders who set good examples. But even a bad example can teach you leadership skills. Pay attention.

Brian Tracy said, “Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position.” That is a goal worthy of emulating. Be the leader people want to follow; not the one they have to follow. Be a good example.

 

© 2016 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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10 Courtesies Every Leader Should Remember

courteous

Courtesy – Excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior. –Random House Dictionary

“Everything rises and falls on leadership,” says John Maxwell. He’s right. The temperament of a leader is an important ingredient that goes a long way in determining his or her success. In short; behaviors and attitudes matter.

Too often sadly, we hear the stories of workplace bullying and other behaviors that are contributing to poor morale and working conditions. As a leader it is important to be aware of your surroundings and your workplace culture.

Now is a good time to be reminded of simple courtesies that make a difference. Here is a list of ten common courtesies every leader should remember. The list is not exhaustive but is a good place to start. They are in no particular order.

  1. How to say “thank you”, “please”, ‘you’re welcome”, etc.

It should go without saying but these polite yet simple forms of communication are essential words in the vocabulary of every leader. Use them often and use them with sincerity. They are still relevant and meaningful.

  1. Return your phone calls and emails.

How many times has this happened to you? You leave a voicemail or send an email and you go days or weeks without a response. How did it make you feel? Nothing screams “you don’t matter” any louder than the silence of being ignored. A courteous leader will return calls and emails. For a great resource I recommend my friend Dr. Monica Seeley (the Email Doctor) you can find her blog at http://bit.ly/1rF6FAr

  1. The timing of your words

One of the courteous things you can do as a leader is to speak words of encouragement to those around you. The timing of a kind word to a colleague can be just the thing he or she needs to make it through the day or through a difficult time. Be aware of the needs of those around you and don’t be afraid to speak a kind word.

  1. The timing of your silence

As the writer of Ecclesiastes says, there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak. As a leader, there will be times that the best thing you can do is to hold your tongue and not say a word. You can be just as courteous by what you don’t say as you can by what you do say. As a leader you have to learn the appropriateness of the moment.

  1. The value of time

A courteous leader is considerate of other people’s time and knows how to manage their own. Showing courtesy as a leader means that you value and respect other people’s time and won’t waste it. You’ll show up to meetings on time and you won’t waste it on trivial things that don’t matter.

  1. The giving of your undivided attention

On so many levels we are losing the art of being present in the moment. We are losing the art of conversation. The better connected we are through technology the more distant we’ve become relationally. Don’t believe me? Try having a 30-minute lunch with a group of friends without each person checking their mobile device repeatedly.  A courteous leader will put away the phone or any other distractions and give others their undivided attention.

  1. How to stay out of other people’s business

Gossip and office politics has been around for a long time. A courteous leader will stay out of it. If it’s not your business then don’t make it your business. If it is your business then use it as a teachable moment to show the proper way to handle it.

  1. How to let things go

Extending courtesies as a leader can be challenging. But one of the wisest things you can do is to learn how to let things go. Don’t be so hell bent on winning the battle that you lose the war. Consider the issue and measure your response.  Learn how to forgive and move on. You’ll be happier in the long run.

  1. Keep your word

Courteous leaders are reliable and keep their word. Be slow to make promises and if you do – follow through and do it. Reasonable people understand that circumstances change and things come up that you didn’t anticipate but as far as it depends on you do what you say you are going to do.

  1. Be kind

It’s simply stated because it is. A courteous leader is kind, considerate, and helpful to others. It’s the little things you do as a leader that makes a big difference. It begins with common courtesy.

What do you say?

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

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