Doug Dickerson on Leadership – Leadership, Workplace Culture, Service

Your Leadership Rewards Program

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

Stop by any convenience store and one of the things that most of them will offer to you is some form of fuel reward or perk program to earn your business over time.

As a “reward” member, you will earn points that will allow you to save money on fuel and food among other things. In addition to convenience stores, many other retail stores use the same approach. How many points do you have on your Starbucks app?

From a retail and marketing approach, reward points are both a common and popular way of garnering business and offering incentives to loyal customers who frequent their business. It’s a win-win for everyone.

As a leader, you are engaged in varying degrees of relationships with those around you. To that end, your level of influence with each one varies depending on that proximity.

For example, everyone has a general network of friends and acquaintances. They may be people you know at work, people you worship with at church, or people you know from your yoga class at the gym. They are good people and you enjoy being around them.

Now think about those closest to you – your inner circle. These are the ones with whom you have forged a deeper relationship with by design and that you by and large do life with. These people make up your tribe of close confidants, mentors or mentees, and the like. These are the people with you through thick and thin, in the good times and bad. You can count on them and they can count on you.

Think about the “rewards” you offer to people around you – be they in your broader circle of friends, or your inner circle. What should those reward points look like? Here are just a few for consideration.

The reward of your trust

The foundational quality of any leader is trust. Those in your inner circle need to know that in all things you are a trustworthy person. When trust is the foundation of the value that you bring to your leadership, it will be evident in your words and your actions.

The reward point for others is that they know that you are a person they can trust.

The reward of your loyalty

A close second is the reward of loyalty. When you are known as a leader and friend who is loyal you will endear yourself immensely to those around you. When trust is given, loyalty is earned. When loyalty is earned, trust is secured.

The reward point for others is that they know that you will always have their back.

The reward of your encouragement

I once heard it said that the best way to know if someone needs encouragement is determined by whether or not they have a pulse. If they do, they need encouragement. Anyone can be negative and find fault, but when people are in your company it ought to be a time of being uplifted and encouraged.

The reward point for others is that they leave you better off than when they came.

The reward of your counsel

One of the rewards for others in your sphere of influence is that they benefit from your counsel. In the same way, you can benefit from the wisdom and counsel of others in your circle. As iron sharpens iron, so one person can sharpen the other and this is the beauty of selfless leadership.

The reward point for others is that they know you have their best interest at heart and you want to see them succeed.

Final Thoughts

John Maxwell stated, “To add value, leaders must give of themselves, and that rarely happens by accident.” And this is your goal as a leader – intentionally adding value to those around you every day.

How Popular is Your Thinking?

Swim upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom. – Sam Walton

In his book, How Successful People Think, John Maxwell shares the story of Benno Muller-Hill, a professor at the University of Cologne genetics department and how one morning in high school he stood last in a line of forty students in the schoolyard.

His physics professor had set up a telescope so that his students could view a planet and its moons. The first student stepped up to the telescope. He looked though it, but when the teacher asked if he could see anything, the boy said no; his nearsightedness hampered his view. The teacher showed him how to adjust the focus, and the boy finally said he could see the planet and moons.

One by one, the students stepped up to the telescope and saw what they were supposed to see. Finally, the second to last student looked into the telescope and announced that he could not see anything.

“You idiot,” shouted the teacher, “you have to adjust the lenses.”

The student tried, but finally said, “I still can’t see anything. It’s all black.”

The teacher, disgusted, looked through the telescope himself, and then looked up with a strange expression. The lens cap still covered the telescope. None of the students had been able to see anything.

This story is both humorous and tragic in that in many ways it is emblematic of the way people walk through life. Simply put – they see what they want to see and rather tell you what they think you want to hear in place of speaking the truth.

As a leader, you have a duty and an obligation to be clear, precise, honest, and trustworthy in all that you see, in all that you say, and in all that you do. This begins with the way that you think. Much of today’s “popular thinking” is the by-product of culture and social trends that to a large extent is driven by social media. Independent thinking becomes the casualty of what is “popular” in the moment.

What does this look like in your day-to-day leadership and why does it matter? Here are a few thoughts for your consideration.

Popular thinking seeks to blend in; it does not stand out

The easiest thing you will ever do in leadership is to blend in with the culture around you. It’s also the most dangerous. As a leader, you are not meant to be a conformist, but rather be a catalyst for change and to add value to those around you. Your voice ought to be one of hopeful optimism, reality-driven, and pointing to a higher standard.

Popular thinking conforms to culture; it does not transform it

The leader’s duty is not to conform to culture, but to be a reformer of culture and light the path to a better way. What’s popular today will look different in a year and constantly change over time. Being knowledgeable is good for your understanding. Having the wisdom to discern culture is essential to your skillset as a leader. This is what will set you apart from the rest.

Popular thinking marginalizes others; it does not bring people together

The unintended consequence of adapting oneself to the conventional wisdom and “popular” thinking of culture is found in the way people are marginalized and left on the fringes. People lose their voices due to fear of reprisals and for not being a part of the group-think mentality. As a leader, you must learn to use your voice for the voiceless and do so in a way that brings people together, not in a way that divides.

How popular is your thinking?

Are You Thinking About Your Legacy?

Posted September 17, 2024September 17, 2024
by admin

At your funeral, people shouldn’t have to guess the kind of life you lead or the legacy you left behind, what you stood for should be evident by your actions. – John Maxwell

Recently I had the opportunity to spend an afternoon at the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, NC. It was a beautiful day with just an ever-so-slight hint of autumn in the air. The sun was shining bright and there was a cool breeze.

The tour was intriguing on many levels. Walking through the various stages of Graham’s life from his humble beginnings to the massive crusades around the world, the tour was both historical and inspirational.

One of the pictures that captured my attention was one that perhaps you might not expect. Sure, there were pictures of the massive crowds at the Crusades, pictures with presidents, and pictures with his family. But the one that jumped out to me oddly enough was of the Charlotte Coliseum billboard advertising an upcoming crusade. Below the crusade dates were the next attractions: Wrestling, Elvis Presley, and Ice Hockey.

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it would take Elvis, wrestling, and ice hockey to come close to the impact of Billy Graham.

When it comes to your impact, and leaving your legacy, what thoughts come to mind? What is important to you? What’s the “one thing” you want on your marquee?

For each person, it will look different, but for you as a leader, it will always come down to the things that you are most intentional about. As I reflect upon my visit to the Billy Graham Library and what legacy is all about, here are my three takeaways.

His legacy was built on his faith

Today we remember Billy Graham as a man of faith – an evangelist. The bedrock of his legacy was an enduring faith that spanned many decades.

Reflecting on his legacy and life, Graham said, “The greatest inheritance you can pass on to your children and grandchildren is more than money or material possessions you get. It’s a legacy of both character and faith.” And this is exactly what Graham did.

Building your legacy on faith is to build it on something that will outlive you. Faith is that foundation. Click To Tweet

His legacy was built on family

Graham’s most enduring legacy, aside from his evangelistic work, was undoubtedly his family. He was married to his wife Ruth for 63 years. They had five children, and a slew of grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and even great-great-grandchildren. Family meant more to him than anything else.

Graham once said, “Nothing is closer to my heart than my family.” And this was a core value that also defined his legacy.

Many opportunities and accomplishments will help define you as a leader. For Graham, he knew what was the most important.

His legacy was built on humility

Billy Graham exemplified what it meant to be a servant-leader. He understood that his life and leadership were about something greater than himself and he passionately lived it out.

One of Graham’s longtime associates observed, “Billy always saw himself as just a farm boy from Mecklenburg County, North Carolina. He was amazed that God could use him like he did.”

One of the most enduring qualities of any leader is that of humility. Humility will keep you grounded when your ego gets too big and will instill a deeper sense of gratitude for all that you have. I believe Graham lived a life marked by a true sense of humility and awareness of the gift that he had.

As you consider your legacy and what it will mean to those you love, consider the role of faith, family, family, and humility. It’s a good starting place for a life well lived.

The Price of Integrity

Posted September 3, 2024
by admin

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves. – Ray Kroc

This past weekend concluded the regular season of the 2024 PGA season. In the final round, Sahith Theegala took a two-stroke penalty for brushing the sand.

What made this interesting was that he called the penalty on himself. Not a PGA official, not another player, or a fan. Theegala called the two-stroke penalty on himself. By doing so, he finished the round in third place instead of finishing in a tie for second place.

Golf legend Tom Watson said, “Golf is a game of ego, but it is also a game of integrity: the most important thing is you do what is right when no one else is looking.” Theegala’s self-imposed penalty cost him $2.5 million in prize money.

While he lost a substantial sum of money for his actions, in the process he didn’t lose or sell out his integrity.

Leadership expert John Maxwell said, “You build trust with others each time you choose integrity over image, truth over convenience, or honor over personal gain.” His observation is a great reminder of why integrity is such an important part of the DNA of a leader.

As you contemplate the importance of your integrity as a leader, consider these questions for reflection.

Am I the same person in private as I am in public?

As a leader, our actions must be as consistent in private as they are in public. The same leader you see in the coffee shop ought to be the same person in the boardroom. Integrity is not situational as much as it is relational.

Am I making ethical decisions, even when no one will find out if I wasn’t?

Theegala knew the decision he had to make. No one was calling him out on it, there was no protesting the decision – he knew the right thing to do and acted upon it. Our ethics are grounded in our integrity. Who you are when no one is looking says more about your character than when all eyes are upon you.

Am I honorable in the way that I treat others?

Treating people with honor, respect, and integrity is a great qualifier in leadership. It’s living out the Golden Rule of friendship. Your integrity as a leader is not confined to your actions but also your behavior.

Am I clear about my values?

Roy Disney said, “It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” And this is why integrity is so important. Integrity gives you clarity in times of uncertainty and is your guidepost when others are wavering. Click To Tweet

Final Thoughts

Sahith Theegala gave us a lesson in the power of integrity with his actions on the golf course. It was a great reminder that our integrity is not for sale, and doing the right thing even when no one is watching is still an honorable thing to do. Strive to be a leader that values integrity not just in your words, but also in your actions.

The Act of Celebrating Others

Posted August 9, 2024
by admin

Do things for people not because of who they are or what they can do in return, but because of who you are. – Rabbi Harold S. Kushner

The story is told of two shopkeepers who were bitter rivals. The stores were directly across the street from each other, and they would spend each day keeping track of each other’s business. If one got a customer, he would triumphantly smile at his rival.

One night an angel appeared to one of the shopkeepers in a dream and said, “I will give you anything you ask, but whatever you receive, your competitor will receive twice as much. Would you be rich? You can be wealthy, but he will receive twice as wealth. Do you wish to live a long life? You can, but his life will be longer and healthier. What is your desire?” The man frowned, thought momentarily, and said, “Here’s my request: Strike me blind in one eye!”

By contrast, consider the following story of Sir Walter Scott. For years, Scott was the leading literary figure in the British Empire. No one could write as well as he. Then the works of Lord Byron began to appear; their greatness was immediately evident. Soon an anonymous critic praised Byron’s poems in a London paper, declaring that in the presence of these brilliant works of poetic genius, Scott could no longer be considered the leading poet of England. It was later discovered that the unnamed reviewer had been none other than Sir Walter Scott himself.

These two stories typify the choices you have when it comes to leadership and your attitude toward others- especially if they are experiencing more success than you are at the moment.

Leadership expert John Maxwell noted, “There is nothing wrong with competition. The problem for many leaders is that they end up competing against their peers in their own organization in a way that hurts the team and them.” Your challenge as a leader is not to allow your ambition to be an obstacle that causes more harm than good.

As leaders, we usually are quick to celebrate and promote our wins and victories. We are quick with a social media post to share the news. Yet when was the last time you saw a post by a leader celebrating the accomplishment of a colleague or friend? Those posts are few and far between.

Leadership author and speaker Tom Peters said, “Celebrate what you want to see more of”. What a fantastic observation. His quote goes to the heart of a leader’s motives. So let me ask you – what do you celebrate? what do you want to see more of? Here are my top five for what I want to see more of. What makes your list?

I want to see more leaders adding value to those around them.

The thought here comes down to what leadership is all about – adding value to others. This happens when leaders understand the basic premise of leadership in that it’s not about you.

I want to see more leaders building relationships

In the trenches of leadership, there is no substitute for strong and healthy relationships. When your focus as a leader is relational it makes all the difference in the world. I see far too many leaders chasing transactions and not enough pursuing relationships. Click To Tweet

I want to see more leaders embracing servant leadership

The heart of servant leadership is others-centered and takes to heart the question, “What can I do for you?” as opposed to “What can you do for me?”. Servant leaders put the needs of others before their own.

I want to see more followers becoming leaders

The goal of leadership is not to create more followers but to create more leaders. I want to see more leaders being trained, developed, nurtured, and joining the cause of making the world a better place.

I want to see more authenticity in leadership

We live in a time when people are looking for the real deal. Authentic and humble leaders are a rare commodity in today’s world, but given the state of the world right now, I would say it would be a breath of fresh air to see more authentic leaders

Who are you celebrating today?

Renewing a Call For Civility

Posted July 15, 2024July 15, 2024
by admin

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a child of the 1960s growing up in Memphis, Tennessee, I am old enough to remember – ever so vaguely, scenes of President John F. Kennedy’s funeral on our black-and-white television.

A few years later, I distinctly recall being at the Sears crosstown with my family shopping for Easter clothes when the announcement came out over the store speakers telling everyone that the store was closing immediately because a few miles away, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had been shot.

I also remember the tragedy that befell presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy who was assassinated in Los Angeles.

I also sadly remember the attempted assassination of President Ronald Reagan.

And now, we have the attempted assassination of former president Donald Trump. Once again, we are a nation divided. I humbly and strongly submit, that we can and should do better – be better. Like you, I am concerned and want to lend my voice in whatever small capacity of influence it brings to reflect on paths forward.

As a person of faith, my worldview is guided by that faith. I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul who wrote in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peacefully with all.” Paul’s words, if taken to heart, ought to transcend our religious differences, our political differences, our racial differences, etc.

In a world so deeply divided, how do we even come close to living by words of peace and civility? Is it just a pipe dream? Is it even worth trying? Where do we begin? Here are my thoughts on a pathway forward.

Begin with yourself

Before you and I can begin to possibly make a positive difference in our world, it must begin within each individual’s heart and mind. I am accountable for my words and actions. So are you. And in that light, we must set for ourselves a higher standard of discourse. That benchmark is not set based on what we see others do or by what others say, but by our desire to live peacefully with all. You and I don’t answer for the words and actions of others, only our own.

John Maxwell said, “Doing what’s right for the right reasons should be the goal- even if it costs me.” And this is also part of the personal responsibility that we embrace. It may cost us, but we must commit to doing it.

Reflection Question: Will you join me in committing to personal responsibility for your words and actions and in that light, using them for good?

Respect for all

Those of you reading this come from every possible background. We have similarities, we have differences. Above it all, we share a common bond of humanity that transcends it all. Your points of view may not be mine, and my views may not be yours, but our mutual respect should be what defines us. I would like to think that I am a better person because of people in my life with differing views. Yours can be as well. Click To Tweet

Mother Teresa said, “We do not need guns or bombs to bring peace, we need love and compassion.” Living peacefully with all begins with respect for all.

Reflection Question: Do I genuinely show respect for all people and how can I do a better job of showing it?

Take the high road

At some point in time, with all “living peacefully together” intentions embraced, you will not always see eye-to-eye with others and differences will not be reconciled. How you react and move forward is critical.

It’s also important to understand, unfortunately, that there is an element of people who only live with vitriol in their hearts with no intention of being a part of the solution. I get it and I believe you do as well. But this is written for the benefit of those who are tired of the hate and who genuinely want a “more perfect union” that benefits all of us.

To take the high road, we must be on the high road and seek with all of our hearts to lift others there as well.

Reflection Question: Are you willing to take the high road and be a part of the solution to lift others to a more civil discourse despite the differences you have with others?

It begins one heart at a time and it begins with each one of us individually.

Life’s More Than a Racket

Posted July 11, 2024
by admin

People would rather follow a leader who is always real than one who is always right. – Craig Groeschel

In a recent commencement address at Dartmouth College, tennis star Roger Federer gave a captivating 20-minute speech. He summed it up this way:

Effortless is a myth

It’s only a point

Life is bigger than the court

It’s not often that you can find someone so succinct in helping others put life into context. But Federer pulled it off brilliantly.

In the case of Federer, he applied lessons from his former profession to a broader awareness of life. It’s a strong case for emotional intelligence. This is important because we often look in the wrong places to figure it out. And consequently, it makes no sense to us. But indulge me as I share a few thoughts on his main points.

Effortless is a myth

He pointed out in his speech, that there is no such thing as effortless. He worked extremely hard to make it appear effortless. He was quick to point out that he didn’t get to the level of success he achieved by talent alone. It required a tremendous amount of effort and work. He was pushed by his coaches, family, and even his opponents. His work ethic behind the scenes enabled him to be one of the all-time tennis greats we saw on the court.

Think about all the “overnight” successes you read about. Few see the long days and sleepless nights, few see the struggles that were overcome before everyone saw their success. What may appear to be effortless is the result of countless hours in the trenches working hard to make it appear that way. Any place worth going to is going to require a strong work ethic, grit, perseverance, and yes, effort. Click To Tweet

It’s only a point

One of the hardest things to learn in life is how to fail forward. In his speech, Federer spoke candidly about his losses. He said, “The best in the world are not the best because they win every point, it’s because they know they will lose again and have learned how to deal with it.”

The secret to Federer’s success and yours is found in knowing that you will not win every point. But you stay in the game, keep working hard, and guard your attitude. Federer added, “Negative energy is wasted energy.” When you understand that your failures and mistakes are just a point in the big picture, you can build upon them and come back stronger.

Life is bigger than the court

For Federer, life was meant to be lived outside the boundaries of the tennis court. He said, “Tennis could show me the world, but tennis could never be the world,” and this is how he intentionally set out to live his life. Be it travel, experiencing different cultures, or starting a foundation to serve others, he knew that life was bigger than tennis.

As you think and reflect upon your life, I would like to encourage you to take the same approach. Your life is more than the sum of the court you serve in. Commit yourself to serving a mission larger than yourself.

Final Thoughts

John Maxwell said, “Rich or poor, famous or obscure, young or old, anyone can be someone who gives more than they take.” This is the challenge we face and this is our aspiration as leaders.

Building Community in Leadership

Posted June 26, 2024June 26, 2024
by admin

There is no power for change greater than a community discovering what it cares about. – Margaret J. Wheatley

Found in the pages of the National Library of Medicine comes a study simply known as the Rosetta effect. The study was conducted in the small town of Roseto, Pennsylvania between 1955-1965.

The study found striking differences in mortality rates from myocardial infarction in a homogeneous Italian-American community and small towns located nearby. The differences disappeared slowly over time as Roseto became more “Americanized”.

The study found that people with stronger social relationships had a 50% higher likelihood of survival than those with weaker social relationships. Roseto teaches us the importance of social connection to our health and well-being.

While these results may not necessarily come as a surprise, it’s important to note that the connection between community and our well-being transcends the boundaries of any physical address. Being connected to a caring community is the goal of any organization that desires to succeed.

In the workplace, we have coined terms such as workplace culture, corporate environment, corporate character, organizational culture, corporate values, and more to describe what decades ago we simply called community.

As leaders, we have often used the vernacular of culture to represent or replace the word for community. And while the intentions are good, the differences are striking.

Scott Perry, the Chief Difference-Maker at Creative on Purpose says, “Culture is driven by ideas and actions. Community is driven by proximity. The people you find yourself surrounded by define your community.” Allow me to take it a step further – your community determines and drives your culture. Without a strong, close-knit community, your culture will not thrive. Workplace culture without community will be relegated to nothing more than slick posters hanging on a wall that mean nothing.

To get community and culture right, what ought to be the focus of the leader? Here are a few suggestions.

Prioritize your community standards

When the standards of your community are established it will be much easier to determine who has proximity. It won’t be a fit for everyone. But establishing your community standards is a non-negotiable because too much is riding on it. Building your team based on your community standards sets the foundation for your culture. Building culture before building community is getting the cart before the horse. A culture that flows out of a shared community will more closely align with the culture you want to create.

Promote community building

The coming together of your team around a shared set of values is the springboard of community that propels your culture. It’s important to be intentional about strong and healthy relationships. Creating a community of people who care for and look out for one another is essential. Proximity does you no good unless your people build healthy relationships and know where they are going and why. Be a leader who connects people, builds bridges, and models what being a good neighbor looks like. Your community and your culture depend on it. Click To Tweet

Practice community daily

Practicing community simply comes down to living out the standards of community that you have defined and consequently applying them to your ideas and actions (culture). Your culture will be strong and continue to get stronger as the right people gain proximity.

Practicing community in the context of culture is about showing up, being there for one another, being appreciative and showing gratitude, focusing on solutions, celebrating wins, and fostering an environment of growth and opportunity.

Final Thoughts

Coretta Scott King observed, “The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members.” As you desire to build a strong culture, focus first on community. When you get community right, you can get your culture right.

How Safe Are Your Perceptions?

Posted June 11, 2024June 11, 2024
by admin

Believing in people before they have proved themselves is the key to motivating people to reach their potential. – John Maxwell

In his book Winning Every Day, legendary football coach Lou Holtz shares a story about a man whose car tumbles into a ditch. He called a farmer for help, but the farmer said, “You need a team of young stallions to pull that car. I only have one horse, Dusty. He’s blind and old. We’ll bring him over to the ditch and see what he can do. But don’t expect too much.

The farmer hitched Dusty to the car, snapped a whip in the air, and said, “Pull, Jimmy, pull!” Dusty never moved. The farmer snapped the whip again and said, “Pull, Sammy, pull.” Dusty still didn’t move. The farmer snapped the whip a third time and said, “Pull, Charley, pull.” Dusty remained still. The farmer snapped the whip the fourth time and said, “Pull, Dusty, pull.” With one mighty tug, Dusty yanked the car out of the ditch.

The grateful driver shook the farmer’s hand and said, “Thanks for freeing my car, but there’s something I don’t understand. Dusty never moved when you called out those three different names. Why didn’t you just call Dusty from the start?”

The farmer replied, “I had to call out those three names first. Dusty is blind. He never would have tried if he’d thought he had to do all that work alone.”

As it’s been said, perception can shape our reality. While our perceptions may not always align with the truth, we must be mindful of them while incorporating a healthy dose of discernment. This understanding can enlighten us and encourage introspection, leading to personal growth and development.

How we form personal and professional relationships is forged by perceptions. We make judgments, right or wrong, on numerous factors such as appearance, personality, and whether or not there’s a chemistry that attracts us.

But how often have we fallen short as leaders regarding false perceptions about another person that we later regretted? How many times have you been on the wrong end of false perceptions?

Perceptions are one area where we can improve as leaders. So, what rules of thumb can we apply to help us avoid falling victim to negative perceptions of the people we lead? Here are a few to consider.

Believe the best in others

I learned from John Maxwell many years ago that he places a ten on every person he meets. In other words, his beliefs about them are high. Do they always live up to the ten he gave them? No, but he always believed the best in them.

The belief and support you give others go a long way in building their confidence and desire to live up to your expectations. The people you lead need your best thoughts, not your worst assumptions.

Don’t rush to judgment.

Good leaders can read people, but it’s a practice developed over time and years. Be careful not to pass judgment on people too soon. Give your relationship and chemistry time to develop. Don’t allow your preconceived beliefs to get in the way of another person's potential. Click To Tweet The people you lead need your confidence, not your criticism.

Prioritize relationships

When developing relationships is your priority, it can dispel false perceptions you may have toward the other person. Through relationships, you gain understanding and awareness that will empower you with greater understanding and empathy. The people you lead need your hand in friendship, not your skepticism.

Make the first move

The thought here is simply this: Don’t wait until things are beyond repair to engage, listen, and work on this portion of your leadership. As a leader, you must initiate and move in the direction of your people. They will be more likely to respond positively when you first move toward them.

As you consider how you handle perceptions in your leadership, be mindful that someone once took a chance on you. Be gracious and humble, and don’t allow false assumptions to hold another person back before they even have a chance to prove you wrong.

Getting The Attention of Those You Lead

Posted June 5, 2024June 5, 2024
by admin

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou

I read a story once about a farmer who wanted to sell his mule, so he put an ad in the local paper. One day, a man from another community came to the farm. The two farmers got to talking and eventually, they got around to talking about the mule.

The farmer who wanted to buy the mule asked if the mule was a good worker. The reply was that the mule did a day’s work. The next question that was asked is did the mule obey every command. The owner said yes. The farmer asked if they could hitch the mule up to see how it worked. The owner agreed.

The farmer got the mule into his harness and the farmer took the reins and told the mule to giddy up. The mule just stood there. The farmer tried a couple of more times and still, the mule just stood there. The farmer looked at the owner and said, “I thought you told me this mule obeys.” “He does,” said the owner, who then picked up a 2×4 and walked to the front where he was facing the mule. He then hit the mule as hard as he could. He then walked back to the farmer, “Try again.” The farmer did and the mule obeyed. The owner said. “This mule always obeys, but you have got to get his attention first.”

As a leader, and especially as an employer, the way in which you capture the attention and treat the people you lead is critically important.

A sampling of a recent Harris Poll survey discovered the following:

Many American employers display harmful behaviors such as setting unreasonable expectations (51%), and credit stealing (48%)
The anxiety stemming from toxic bosses is extensive, with 73% experiencing weekend anxiety about returning to work on Monday
A significant number of employees (66%) with toxic bosses plan to quit as soon as the economy allows

With this type of sentiment among many employees, it should go without saying that a significant leadership deficiency must be addressed. But unless and until we address it with clarity and intentionality, these unacceptable behaviors will only continue.

As a leader, how you get the attention of your people matters. And while a 2×4 might work with a mule, you must remember that you are making connections on a human level. It’s not enough to have the attention of the people you lead (bad leaders can do that), you must be intentional about a better path forward. Here are a few things to do and understand.

Trust is your currency

Unless and until you are a trustworthy leader, you will always come up short in getting the attention and respect of the people you lead. Without it, you are dead in the water, with it, your possibilities are endless. Make trust the foundation of your leadership.

Put the focus where it belongs

The cardinal rule in leadership is simple – it’s not about you. And people are interested in the people who are interested in them. The more you are interested in others, the more they will be interested in you, and thus you will expand your influence as a leader. Click To Tweet You will get the attention of the people you lead when interested in them.

Empower your people

People will have buy-in and take greater ownership of what they help create. When you believe in your people and empower them, they will go to great lengths to impress you. A true sign of your leadership is not found in how much power you amass for yourself, but in how much you give away.

Follow the golden rule

People don’t care how much you know. They will, however, always remember how you treated them and made them feel. As John Maxwell says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Let this be your true north in your leadership.