Renewing a Call For Civility

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Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a child of the 1960s growing up in Memphis, Tennessee, I am old enough to remember – ever so vaguely, scenes of President John F. Kennedy’s funeral on our black-and-white television. 

A few years later, I distinctly recall being at the Sears crosstown with my family shopping for Easter clothes when the announcement came out over the store speakers telling everyone that the store was closing immediately because a few miles away, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had been shot.

I also remember the tragedy that befell presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy who was assassinated in Los Angeles. 

I also sadly remember the attempted assassination of  President Ronald Reagan. 

And now, we have the attempted assassination of former president Donald Trump. Once again, we are a nation divided. I humbly and strongly submit, that we can and should do better – be better. Like you, I am concerned and want to lend my voice in whatever small capacity of influence it brings to reflect on paths forward.

As a person of faith, my worldview is guided by that faith. I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul who wrote in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peacefully with all.” Paul’s words, if taken to heart, ought to transcend our religious differences, our political differences, our racial differences, etc. 

In a world so deeply divided, how do we even come close to living by words of peace and civility? Is it just a pipe dream? Is it even worth trying? Where do we begin? Here are my thoughts on a pathway forward.

Begin with yourself

Before you and I can begin to possibly make a positive difference in our world, it must begin within each individual’s heart and mind. I am accountable for my words and actions. So are you. And in that light, we must set for ourselves a higher standard of discourse. That benchmark is not set based on what we see others do or by what others say, but by our desire to live peacefully with all. You and I don’t answer for the words and actions of others, only our own.

John Maxwell said, “Doing what’s right for the right reasons should be the goal- even if it costs me.” And this is also part of the personal responsibility that we embrace. It may cost us, but we must commit to doing it.

Reflection Question: Will you join me in committing to personal responsibility for your words and actions and in that light, using them for good?

Respect for all

Those of you reading this come from every possible background. We have similarities, we have differences. Above it all, we share a common bond of humanity that transcends it all. Your points of view may not be mine, and my views may not be yours, but our mutual respect should be what defines us. I would like to think that I am a better person because of people in my life with differing views. Yours can be as well. Click To Tweet

Mother Teresa said, “We do not need guns or bombs to bring peace, we need love and compassion.” Living peacefully with all begins with respect for all.

Reflection Question: Do I genuinely show respect for all people and how can I do a better job of showing it?

Take the high road

At some point in time, with all “living peacefully together” intentions embraced, you will not always see eye-to-eye with others and differences will not be reconciled. How you react and move forward is critical. 

It’s also important to understand, unfortunately, that there is an element of people who only live with vitriol in their hearts with no intention of being a part of the solution. I get it and I believe you do as well. But this is written for the benefit of those who are tired of the hate and who genuinely want a “more perfect union” that benefits all of us.

To take the high road, we must be on the high road and seek with all of our hearts to lift others there as well.

Reflection Question: Are you willing to take the high road and be a part of the solution to lift others to a more civil discourse despite the differences you have with others?

It begins one heart at a time and it begins with each one of us individually.

 

©2024 Doug Dickerson

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Building a Culture of Respect

Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier. – Mother Teresa

Building and maintaining a healthy workplace culture is a challenge within any organization. Creating and sustaining a healthy culture where comradery thrives begins with respect and trust. With it, there is such potential for great things; without it, there’s always going to be tension between that potential and the disappointment of unfulfilled goals. 

If there’s ever been a time for building a culture of respect it’s now. A great tension exists between our culture as a whole and how that plays out day-to-day in the workplace. Whatever stands you take and positions you subscribe to in our current culture at large, those can and do inevitability carry over into the workplace.

So how does a leader set the tone for a healthy workplace culture when the people within it bring such diverse and strong points of view regarding the things that are taking place outside of it? 

Here’s what I know to be true and what everyone needs to remember - there is a difference between people being divided and being divisive. Click To Tweet And as a leader, you have to know the difference and set up healthy boundaries. People will have differing views on all sorts of issues. That’s to be expected and normal. But people choose to be divisive by their actions and behaviors.

The other day I called my friend Tom. He and I have been friends for more than 30 years. He was one of the first ones to visit my wife and me in the hospital after our children were born. He was very instrumental in some of my early career choices and he is a valued and trusted friend.

Our friendship transcends the different ways in which we see the world. And after some of the recent major headlines, it was Tom whom I wanted to talk with. Why is that?

While we have our different convictions and differences of opinion our friendship transcends them. The fact that we don’t always agree is precisely why I called him. I didn’t want an echo chamber conversation. I wanted to talk, ask questions, listen, and broaden my perspective and understanding. And this is what we’ve been doing for more than 30 years.

Over the years our friendship has lasted because of one word – respect. Our friendship is not defined by our political points of view, by a label, by always having to be right, or by the need to get in the last word. We listen to each other with respect and do not allow any disagreement to come between us.

As a leader, how you walk this tightrope and how it plays out in your workplace is vital to the health of your organization.

On a practical level, what can you do as a leader? How can you help build a culture of respect? Here are a few ideas.

Model it

Having the kind of workplace culture that you want as a leader begins with you. If respect is what’s needed, then respect has to be shown. Never insist on any action or behavior that you are not taking the lead on. Respect, as with any other value within your organization, begins with leadership. It succeeds or fails by your example.

Make it a priority

As a leader, you are not responsible for the beliefs and actions of the masses outside of your organization. But you do have a say about what takes place within it. Building a respectful culture within your organization not only has to be modeled by you but must be made a priority.  Once values and behaviors are communicated they must be made a priority that your people embrace.

Hold people accountable

Within the context of building a culture of respect within your organization, there have to be accountability measures in place. The culture of the organization does not rest on the shoulders of one person- everyone shares that responsibility. 

Hold diversity in high regard

Benjamin Franklin said, “When everyone is thinking alike, then no one is thinking.” And this is when you run the risk of getting stuck. You need people who see things differently and who think differently from you. Your diversity is not the problem, it’s your strength and you need to recognize and celebrate it. Mutual respect and trust must be the glue that holds it all together.

Final Thoughts

Building a healthy culture in your organization begins with respect. Along with trust, it’s the foundation upon which everything else is built. It takes a commitment on your part to model it and make it a value and when you do and it takes hold, you will have a culture worth emulating.

 

©2022 Doug Dickerson

 

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Leadership Minute: The Value of Respect

respect

I firmly believe that respect is a lot more important, and a lot greater, than popularity. – Julius Erving

In keeping with establishing leadership priorities, be careful not to fall into the trap of prizing popularity over respect. Many had rather enjoy short term popularity than pay the price for respect that is earned over a greater span of time. But popularity, like beauty, can be fleeting. You are never more than one unpopular decision away from the tables being turned and learning that being popular is not all it’s cracked up to be. Choose to be popular more than respected and you will be respected little. Choose to be respected more than being popular and in due time you will enjoy both. It’s all a matter of priority. The greatest compliment you can earn as a leader is the respect of your people. The bonus? People tend to like whom they respect.

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Leadership Minute: Show Respect

respect

Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners. – Laurence Sterne

One of the most noble leadership skills you can have and develop is that of respect. Respect for yourself establishes your guiding principles and sets the course for your leadership style. On that count, respect is very important. Once established internally you then begin to lead externally from those values. A great leader is a respectful leader. Clearly you will not like everyone, nor will you always approve of other people’s actions, but respect for them sets the framework for how you deal with them. Respect establishes your credibility as a leader and is the origin of your manners. Your leadership style will make you or break you. When respect is your guiding light you can’t go wrong.

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Leadership Minute: Show Respect

respect

Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners. – Laurence Sterne

Respect is an essential skill for leaders.  Self-respect guides your morals and is the lens through which you see the world around you and how you respond to it. Respect for others guides how you lead others. Whether or not you like a person is not as consequential as how you treat them. You can’t win them over if your manners are rude. It’s as you respect yourself and respect others you can be the effective leader you desire to become. If you want to be respected as a leader, be a leader that shows respect. It’s that simple.

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