On Becoming Better at Failing

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Am I failing different each time? – David Kelley

In his book, “The Power of Optimism”, Alan Loy McGinnis wrote of the great fire Thomas Edison experienced at his lab. Edison’s manufacturing facilities were heavily damaged by fire one night in December, 1914. Edison lost almost $1 million worth of equipment and the record of much of his work. The next morning, walking about the charred embers of his hopes and dreams, the 67-year old inventor said, “There is value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Now we can start anew.”

Edison’s attitude in the face of his disaster serves as a reminder and as encouragement to those who have ever experienced a setback or failure. As a leader the question is not whether you will have failures, but when you do, how will you respond? As you grow as a leader the types of failures and the way you fail will grow with you. Are you getting better? Here’s how you can tell.

You fail better when you are not afraid to take risks

Taking risks is part of your growth as a leader. Without risks you are in a rut and the view will never change. It’s as you dare to venture out and try new things that you can maximize your potential and reach new goals. Failures will come when you take risks but anything worth having will require it.

You fail better when your dreams are big

This is where you put your risks into action. Failure in pursuit of a big dream is much better feeling than the feeling of complacency where you are. You have big dreams for a reason. And big dreams require action. And along the way of fulfilling those dreams you will experience setbacks. Failure is a part of your growth and through every difficulty along the way you are one step closer to seeing your dream fulfilled.

You fail better when you do your very best

Big dreams and goals require more out of you than what you gave a year ago or five years ago. It’s the payoff of your growth and the reward of your hard work. A failure at this stage in your life is still many steps ahead of where you were in the past. Each step, each setback, and every failure is the result of putting your best foot forward even if you stumble.

You fail better when you fail with others

Your path to success as a leader will be easier to navigate when you have others to share it with. Smart leaders understand the power of teamwork and the rewards of collaborative effort. You can enhance and accelerate your work, dreams, goals and aspirations when others are involved. Setbacks and failures hurt less when shared by others and your recovery will be quicker. There’s nothing like sharing a few failures with your team and there’s nothing like the celebration at the end when together you achieve your goals.

You fail better when you don’t give up

Churchill said, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” When failures come your way don’t give up. Failing successfully happens when you get up, dust yourself off, reassess, and get moving. You wouldn’t be where you are today if deep down you didn’t already know this. But perhaps you just need the reminder so here it is; don’t give up!

You fail better when you show others how

There is no failure or setback that you go through that is in vain if you react the right way, learn from it, and care enough to help others. Your life lessons – all of the bumps and bruises along the way can serve as invaluable teaching moments. The way you fail today is not the way you failed five years ago and it will not be the way you will fail five years from now.

The way you fail is important. As you come through your failures you are learning, applying new lessons, being more creative, and making wiser decisions. What you learn you should share. Show others that failure is not fatal, that there is triumph in adversity, and most of all it is worth it if you don’t give up.

What do you say?

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

I welcome your feedback:

1. Does failure look different to you now as compared to five or ten years ago?

2. What additional advice would you give to aspiring leaders who have experienced failure or a setback?

3. What life lessons have you learned though failure?

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Leadership Minute: Be Careful Where You Sit

attitude

The world is full of cactus, but we don’t have to sit on it. – Will Foley

As a leader you will encounter your fair share of prickly people. Sometimes there is no escaping them. But how the behaviors and actions of others affect you is your choice. It’s a given that we all can have a bad day now and then and be a little prickly ourselves. But then there are those “special” people- you know the ones, they are just not happy unless they are unhappy. When life handed them a lemon instead of making lemonade they planted more lemons. But that is their choice. You will run across these people now and then. My advice? As best you can, keep running. You don’t have to sit there with them. Your happiness and disposition is one of the most important leadership decisions you will make so don’t surrender it to anyone. Be careful where you sit.

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Leadership Minute: The Necessity of Discontentment

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Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities for progress. – Thomas Edison

Progress comes about in many different ways. This would include and not be limited to restlessness and discontentment. There comes a time when the way things are should not be the way things remain. Making progress and moving forward will require discontented leaders to take action. In what areas of your life or business would you like to see progress? Are you discontent or restless? If so this might be a good sign that you are about to see some real areas of progress in your future. You will need to work on how to properly use that energy in a way that produces the progress you desire. Identify the areas where you are experiencing the most restlessness and why. From there you can put your plans into place and work toward your goals.

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Leadership Minute: Are You Contagious?

confidence

Hang around successful leaders long enough and you will find one common thread among them—confidence! Confidence is the difference maker that separates the average leader from the great leader. What is your confidence level? Are you instilling confidence in others? Your ability to inspire confidence in others is one of the privileges of your leadership. But you can’t instill what you don’t possess. Becoming a contagious leader does not happen by accident. You have to work at it. How? Confidence is built in part by maintaining a personal growth plan that would include a regular reading program and having a good mentor/coach. Before you can impart into others you have to invest in yourself. You will become a contagious leader when you are a confident leader. The world needs confident leaders. Are you contagious?

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Facing Down Your Fears

fear

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. – Bill Cosby

A story is told of two explorers who were on a jungle safari when suddenly a ferocious lion jumped in front of them. “Keep calm” the first explorer whispered. “Remember what we read in that book on wild animals? If you stand perfectly still and look the lion in the eye, he will turn and run.” “Sure,” replied his companion, “You’ve read the book, and I’ve read the book. But has the lion read the book?”

Most leaders I know are familiar with fear. Not that they live in a constant state of fear or paranoia, but it is a part of the leadership experience that defines them. Fear will either motivate you or it will dishearten you. How you choose to react to the fears you face will determine its effect on you.

Your success as a leader will come when you embrace your fears and turn them into positives. Do you know what your fears are? Are you willing to confront them? Until you honestly confront them you will never overcome them. So what are the most common forms of fear for leaders? Let’s look at two and their surprising connections.

Two Common Fears:

Fear of failure

Every business person, entrepreneur, athlete, leader, etc. has a desire to be successful. Regardless of how that success is measured the desires are still the same. But a fear of failure is the most commonly shared fear that prevents those dreams from being fulfilled. If left unchallenged it will always hold you back.

Often the fear of failure is a pride issue. The rationale is rooted in what others will say or think if you try something and fail. Certainly other considerations are at stake such as financial, etc. but fear of failure will ground you every time.

Fear of rejection

Besides a fear of failure the fear of rejection is an all too common fear that many struggle with. When the humiliation of rejection is a more powerful deterrent than the potential for success then fear has won. So what happens? People hold back. They sit out. They allow fear to dictate their decisions.

Like your attitude, fear is a neutral emotion that is turned into something good or bad depending on how you respond. Healthy attitudes and fears can serve you well if you use them properly. So what is the connection?

Two Common Connections:

While countless examples could illustrate the point let’s look at two. These people embody what can happen when we allow our fears to motivate us rather than discourage us.

A famous “failure”

He first went into politics at the age of 23. He ran for a seat in the Illinois General Assembly. He lost. He later ran a General Store. It failed. But today, not too many people look back upon those events and use them to label the 16th President of the United Sates as a failure. Abraham Lincoln is recognized as one of our most beloved presidents in history. He experienced failure, but he was not a failure. And he did not allow those failures to define him.

A famous “reject”

He dropped out of high school and applied to attend three film schools but was unsuccessful due to his C grade average. But if you have been entertained by such movies as E.T., Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan, and many more, then you’d agree with me and the critics that Steven Spielberg is one of the greatest film directors of all time. Spielberg was rejected, but he was not a reject. He didn’t allow his setbacks to hold him back.

The connection between fear and success comes down to this: every successful movie director, politician, athlete, entrepreneur, etc. have all faced their fears and have overcome them. Your success as leader will not be characterized by an absence of fear but by what you did with it.

Denis Waitley said, “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

Do you have fears? Welcome to the club. It’s time to roll up your sleeves, dig deep, and stare them down. Don’t allow your fears to hold you back, turn them into stepping stones to take you to the places you want to go.

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

 

I welcome your feedback:

1. What fear do you struggle with the most?

2. What steps can you take to change the way you look at fear?

 

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Leadership Minute: Discover Your Limits

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One finds limits by pushing them. – Herbert Simon

Your limits as a leader are going to be tested. It’s as you continually strive to grow personally and professionally that you can look back and see how far you have come. The challenges and obstacles you faced five years ago are not the same ones you have today as you push yourself to new limits. What limits to your growth are you testing today? Let me encourage you to discover new limits and expand your borders by pushing them. Don’t get so comfortable that you settle for where you are today without a vivid curiosity for what tomorrow holds. Dare to discover just how far you can go and what you can accomplish by pushing your limits in new and positive ways. You can create new borders and possibilities by removing any self- imposed limitations. Don’t limit yourself or your future; live it without limits.

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Leadership Minute: Be Yourself

beyourself

When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you. – Lao Tzu

When a leader understands this profoundly simple truth it can be very liberating. It’s when we believe the opposite that things get complicated. When we think that we have to compare ourselves to someone else in order to feel validated then we are missing the point. You are special and unique. Don’t worry about how you measure up to the next person or believe that you have to compete with them. Stop with all the comparisons and embrace your God-given gifts, talents, abilities, and all of the qualities that make you the wonderful person that you are. It’s when you do that you will earn your respect as a leader. There is no need to be a cheap imitation of someone else when you can be valuable version of you!

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Leadership Minute: Hang in There

perseverance

Perseverance, secret of all triumphs. – Victor Hugo

Perseverance is not one of the more glamorous leadership traits. In fact; it can be downright brutal. As leaders we are taught to take Frost’ advice and journey down the road less traveled. But what happens when the road less traveled is traveled less and less by those who are supposed to be leading the way? While perseverance may not be pretty it is a necessity. We need leaders today who have a stick-with-it attitude. We need leaders who are not afraid to put it all on the line and stay the course. The power of perseverance will see you through the good times and bad, but in the end you will be rewarded with a level of success others only dream about. Today you might be tempted to throw in the towel and give up. Don’t. Your leadership can go to a new level but only as you persevere.

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Leadership Minute: Listen Up

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When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen. – Ernest Hemmingway

Listening is one of those ever-developing leadership skills. In our high tech world the art of undistracted listening is a waning skill. Listening is one of the highest compliments you can pay to another person. This means putting away your cell phone or tablet and actually making eye contact while acknowledging the other person. To the same degree we expect people to listen when we speak we should extend the same courtesy to others. People will feel respected when they are respected.  Give the other person your undivided attention and hear what they have to say. You will be seen as a leader who cares and you will build your credibility as one who is engaged. Tune out distractions so that you can tune in to what’s really important. Listen up!

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Leadership Minute: Get Along

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The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. – Theodore Roosevelt

Knowing how to get along with people is essential in leadership. Building relationships based on trust and respect is necessary if you want to get things done. While it may a stretch to like everyone or for everyone to like you it is a game-changer if don’t know how to get along with others. You develop your leadership skills when you develop your relationship skills. At times you will have to separate the personal from the professional in order to move forward. And the person you think is not your friend now in the long run may be the one to surprise you down the road. The point here is simple: you can get more done and will be more productive when you learn to build bridges to other people instead of burning them. Get along to get ahead.

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