Persoanl Growth and Development – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Leadership In a Word: Empathy

Posted January 10, 2018
by dougdickerson

Empathy is about finding echoes of another person in yourself. – Mohsin Hamind

Word Study

1: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this

: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it. Source: Merriam–Webster

A word about empathy

Many characteristics belong in the mix for being a good leader. Empathy is crucial to that mix. That you have an awareness and intuition concerning the people you lead is essential to your success as a leader.

Too often however, many leaders are not engaged with the people they lead much less sensitive to their needs or receptive to their concerns.

Writing in usnews.com, Tom Risen cited a survey that showed “51 percent of U.S. managers are not engaged in their work, and another 14 percent are actively disengaged”. With this type of disengagement taking place in the workplace, is it any wonder that empathy is a leadership skill that needs to be addressed?

While some may be dismissive of the importance of empathy in leadership-that it’s just a “soft skill” that’s beneath them, I respectfully disagree.

What would the landscape of your organization look like if more leaders in it took the time to be invested and empathetic? How would morale be different? What if you, as a leader, were more intentional about the concerns of the people you lead? What would those characteristics look like? Here is a sampling.

The empathetic leader is connected to his people

The key to understanding your people is being with your people. The basis for effective leadership is found in building relationships. The disconnect many leaders struggle with is predicated on and is the consequence of poor relationships. If as a leader you are not working on the relationship the divide and disconnect will only widen.

The empathetic leader cares about his people

The most appreciable asset any leader has is his or her people. As you develop empathy as a leader you will come to discover that the success of your people is your success. Their concerns are your concerns. Their frustrations are your frustrations. And at the end of the day, their wins are your wins. With empathy, you put yourself in their shoes and commit yourself to doing everything within your power to ensure their success.

The empathetic leader listens to his people

Simply put, there’s no magic wand that a leader can wave to make them more empathetic. It’s a skill that is developed over time. It’s a two-fold process in which being intentional about it is paramount. Unless you commit yourself to the development of this skill it’s not going to just happen.

But just as important is art of listening. Empathetic leaders are careful and intentional about listening to their people. It’s when your people have your ear, you will have their heart. It’s as you listen to your people that trust is established, morale rebounds, loyalty is secured, and your leadership is proven. Listening is for your benefit just as much as it is theirs. Listening is not about appeasement, it’s about action.

Empathy quotes

“When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.” – Stephen Covey

“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” – Maya Angelou

“Remember that everyone you meet is afraid of something, loves something, and has lost something.” H. Jackson Brown

“Empathy is the greatest virtue. From it, all virtues flow. Without it, all virtues are an act.” Eric Zorn

A final word

Empathy will elevate your leadership and it will help you build positive relationships with your people. It’s when you empathize with your people that you can more effective in leading them.

*Note: Leadership In A Word is my writing theme for 2018. Each week the focus will be on a word that impacts you as a leader. My style is new but my message and commitment to delivering fresh leadership insight to you are the same. It’s my sincere desire to help you grow as a leader and to partner with you in reaching your full potential.

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What Do Your Motives Say About Your Leadership?

Posted July 27, 2017
by dougdickerson

“Men are more accountable for their motives than anything else. – Archibald Alexander

Bob Kuechenberg, the former Miami Dolphin great, once explained what motivated him to go to college.

“My father and uncle were human cannonballs in Carnivals,” he explained. “My father told me, “go to college or be a cannonball.” Then one day my uncle came out of the cannon, missed the net and hit the Ferris wheel. I decided to go to college.” To be sure, Bob Kuechenberg was motivated to go college and relinquish his future as a human cannonball.

In various ways, as children, we were motivated to get good grades in school or to do our chores. It often had monetary motivations attached to it. As adults, we have our motivations to perform well in our places of employment. We have the opportunity to move up based upon performance and other matrix and we are rewarded with the compensation that comes with it. Simply put, we all have our motivational tipping points.

You have heard the old expression, “check your ego at the door”. It’s sound advice for anyone in leadership. An unbridled ego can create a host of problems for a leader if left unchecked.

In as much as an unchecked ego can cause many problems, so too, can unchecked motives. A leader must be honest and come clean about overt or hidden motives that drive behaviors and actions. Before proceeding with your agenda, why not run them through a filter that will help you determine if your motives are pure. Here are six questions that will help you.

Would I support my plan or idea with the same level of intensity if the idea wasn’t coming from me?

This question is foundational and fundamental. An honest answer will shed light on the real motives you have. It’s not about who wins, it’s about the best idea winning. This is Leadership 101. Until you understand this, your hidden motives will always get the best of you.

Am I out to advance my own agenda and career or advance the good of the organization?

This is typically one of the driving forces behind hidden motives. When you seek the advancement of your own career and ambitions over the good of the organization then what is the real value of your service there? But when your commitment is to the good of the organization, good things will come your way. It all starts with your motives.

Am I territorial, making decisions that benefit me or my department over the good of the organization?

Leaders with wrong motives are all about making decisions that only benefit them or their department. Instead of looking at what is best for the whole team, they stake out their territory which leads to isolation and erodes trust. You will shine brightly as a leader when you are looking out for the best interest of everyone, not just a select few.

Am I guarded and reluctant to help others, or do I gladly share ideas and offer my assistance?

Your motives may be wrong if you are unwilling to help others for fear that they may outshine you, or get credit for something you shared with them. These motives are rooted in jealousy and insecurity and can openly expose your motives for not being a team player. A strong leader will gladly come alongside and help his or her teammates. It’s when you see yourself as colleagues not as competitors that you will have peak performance.

Am I manipulative, overbearing, and drive organizational politics in my favor, or am I a team player looking out for the best interest of everyone?

A leader with hidden motives can come across as overbearing or as a manipulator through office politics. They use this to further their agenda- be it career advancement or something else, they are master manipulators. A leader with nothing to hide is looking out for everyone and the good of the team. In the long run, people do not rally around a manipulator, but they will always respond to a leader who has their best interest at heart

Am I presenting myself one way in public, and another way in private?

Ultimately, this is where your hidden motives and agendas will catch up with you. It’s just a matter of time. Who you are will eventually come to light.

Here’s the rub – will all have our motives for doing what we do. Sometimes those motives are not very flattering while at other times they are good. The mark of your maturity as a leader and as a person is defined by constantly evaluating them, being honest with yourself, and only proceeding when you know they are in alignment with your core values.

What do your motives say about your leadership?

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Six Ways to Rise Above Your Critics

Posted October 23, 2015
by admin

To escape criticism- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

A story is told of Winston Churchill and his extraordinary integrity in the face of opposition. During his last year in office, he attended an official ceremony. Several rows behind him two gentlemen began whispering. “That’s Winston Churchill. They say he is getting senile. They say he should step aside and leave the running of the nation to more dynamic and capable men.” When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned to the men and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf.”

Critics. Every leader has them and every leader will. How you respond to critics is an important component of your leadership development. It’s all too easy to get defensive when critics rub us the wrong way or misunderstand us. But can you appreciate a critic when he or she is right? Rising above your critics takes courage. Here are six ways to do it.

Keep a positive attitude.

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude,” is a famous Zig Ziglar quote. How high and how far you go as a leader will be determined by your attitude. Nothing will give you a bad attitude any quicker than a wrong reaction to a critic. Basic things you will want to know regarding a critic are the source, the accuracy, the ramifications, and your reaction – if there even needs to be one. Regardless, stay positive and focused on the big picture.

Stay true to your values.

Don’t allow your critics to throw you off of your game. Stay grounded and connected to the values that have guided you to where you are. Values do not change but are guideposts when your circumstances do. The values and principles that brought you to where you are will keep you there so handle your critics with that in mind.

Speak no evil.

Seriously? Yes. Engaging in mud-slinging with your critics only hurts you in the long run. Unless what they have spoken or done is libelous then don’t waste your time in a verbal battle. Be content in knowing that the truth is on your side. There is no greater satisfaction than in knowing that you can look yourself in the mirror and lay your head down at night with a peace that comes from knowing you did the right thing regardless of how others behaved.

Don’t retaliate.

There will be times when you will want (and those close to you) to retaliate against critics. There is something about human nature that wants to fight back and get revenge and settle the score. I get it. But again, the end result will never be good for you. As hard as it may be there are times when you just have to let it go. Don’t worry if you lose a battle today, you are going to win the war if you keep your heart right.

Give them more ammo.

Most of the critics you will encounter are simply those who have some kind of vendetta or jealousy directed toward you. As opposed to stooping down to their level why not give them more ammo? As you do the right thing by continuing to work hard and by exhibiting good leadership, you will only become more successful. Nothing will annoy your critics more than your continued success.

Don’t lose your sense of humor.

One of the most important leadership skills you can develop is a sense of humor. Churchill exhibited it towards the men who spoke ill of him. Bill Cosby said, “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” Your critics will stir up a wide range of emotions and reactions that you will want to run with. But if you laugh – at them, and at yourself, half the battle is won.

What do you say?

*This column is a “Best Of” and was originally posted in 2015.

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Underdog Attitudes for Top Dog Leaders

Posted July 16, 2015
by admin

“I think whether you’re having setbacks or not, the role of the leader is to always display a winning attitude”. – Colin Powell

A man approached a little league baseball game one afternoon. He asked a boy in the dugout what the score was. The boy responded, “Eighteen to nothing–we’re behind.”

“Boy,” said the spectator, “I’ll bet you’re discouraged.”

“Why should I be discouraged?” replied the little boy. “We haven’t even gotten up to bat yet!”

That humorous story is a reminder of the power of a positive attitude even when the odds are not in your favor. Having and maintaining a positive attitude in the workplace can be challenging even for the most optimistic person at times.

A study conducted by Root Inc., (http://bit.ly/1J2wkdq) the strategy execution consulting company reported on the findings of a survey by Kelton titled “America’s Workforce: A Revealing Account of What U.S. Employees Really Think About Today’s Workplace.”

Among the interesting finding, one statistic stood out – employees feel discouraged. More than half (54%) of employees have felt frustrated about work. To be sure, everyone faces times of discouragement and frustration at work. It’s normal. Adding to that frustration from the survey is the admission of only 38% who say that their manager has established an effective working relationship with them, or 40% who say that they don’t get the company’s vision or have never seen it. With findings like that, can you see how frustrations rise and attitudes can sour?

So what is a growing leader to do? Here are three tips for developing underdog attitudes that can help you become a top dog leader.

Take ownership

Your attitude – good or bad, is on you. You can play the blame game or you can, with underdog fortitude, step up and take responsibility for your attitude. That means saturating your mind with positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people. It means being intentional about what you read, who you listen to, and guarding your emotions. You don’t live in a bubble and you will be exposed to the negative attitudes of others. But at the end of the day the only attitude you are responsible for is yours. Own it.

Go on offense

Top dog leaders take the offensive with underdog attitudes. No one should just idly sit by while those with bad attitudes wreak havoc and erode the culture within your organization. Going on offense is about exerting your positive influence like the little boy in the dugout at the baseball game. You might be down momentarily but you are not out. It’s not about denying reality with your head in the sand, but it is about charting your course and the mindset you will have going forward. When you are proactive with a positive attitude it can be contagious. Go on offense and set the tone.

Never give up

Keeping a positive outlook on life be it in your place of work or elsewhere can be challenging. Having a positive outlook and attitude may place you as the “odd man out” in some circles but it’s worth fighting for. You may feel overwhelmed by those circumstances but let me encourage you to never give up.

Joel Osteen said, “Choosing to be positive and having a grateful attitude is going to determine how you’re going to live your life.” And that’s ultimately the bottom line. When you embrace an underdog attitude is will ultimately carve out the type of life you are going to live.

If those around you have a bad attitude, don’t join in-take ownership of your own. When others choose a negative path and tone don’t join them – go on offense and set an example for others to emulate. No matter how hard it is to keep your attitude positive, no matter how bad things are around you- don’t ever give up!

What do you say?

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Leadership Minute: Make Your Discovery

Posted October 22, 2014
by admin

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought. – Albert Szent Gyorgui, Nobel Prize Winner

One of the most beneficial things in the development of your leadership skills is the ability to think different. We all see the same things. In large part we have fairly similar reactions. We see something that needs to be done and we do it. We look and see the needs in our communities and we get involved. Why? Because everyone thinks it’s a good idea and we take on that responsibility. As leaders we all have similar challenges and our skills are constantly being tested. Part of the learning process is identifying long held belief systems and being brave enough to challenge it. Why do you think the way that you do? Is it because everyone else thinks that way? What would it take for you to think different? What’s holding you back? As a leader let me encourage you to shake up the way that you look at things and the way that you think. Your discovery may be long overdue.

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