Motivational leadership – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Why Every Leader Must Value Failure

Posted April 18, 2022
by admin

When achievers fail, they see it as a momentary event, not a lifelong epidemic. – John Maxwell

In 2014’s Oscar-winning film Birdman, Michael Keaton plays a washed-out actor trying to start his life again after a series of failed roles. But his efforts are haunted by the voice of the Birdman, the superhero role that had made him famous in his youth. The voice in his head tells him a story about his life- a story about failure and missed chances.

It taunts him with memories of what he was and what he could have been, but now isn’t. The continuing question running through the film is simple: Will he listen to that voice of a failure, or will he dare to believe that he can flourish again?

The story of the movie is one that plays out in the mind and imaginations of many leaders today.

You may relate to the character played by Michael Keaton and wonder if you have squandered too many opportunities in the past and doubt if or if you will ever flourish again.

In order to answer those lingering doubts and questions you may have, I believe it all hinges on your reaction to and outlook on failure. In other words, do you see the value in failure? Do you see the growth opportunities that come to you only because you did fail that otherwise, you may have missed out on? I want to explore two specific ways why valuing failure is important to you as a leader.

Value failure for what you learn

Tom Watson, Sr. is the man who founded IBM. Once, many years ago, he had a top junior executive who had spent $12 million of the company’s money on a venture that failed.

The executive put his resignation on Watson’s desk and said, “I’m sure you want my resignation.” Watson roared back, “No, I don’t want your resignation. I’ve just spent $12 million educating you. It’s about time you get to work.”

It’s been said that experience is a great teacher. So is failure. But most of us don’t like experiencing failures. I get it. But when you see failure as part of the stepping stones towards success your outlook will change. Failures and setbacks are part of your journey so the question becomes what will you learn when they happen.

One of the most valuable things you learn from your failures and mistakes is what you learn about yourself. When you know your strengths and weaknesses it helps you move forward in a smarter and more productive manner.

John Wooden said, “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts,” and to that end, never despise learning and know that as long as you have a pulse, you have an opportunity to grow and learn.

Value failure for your personal growth

In his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth, John Maxwell states, “The greatest limitations people experience on their lives are usually the ones they impose upon themselves.” That statement is packed with so much truth and wisdom.

Let me ask you today – what limitations have you placed on your own personal growth and development that as a result is holding you back? What lies have you bought into that make you feel inferior?

Every leader I know has made mistakes and has experienced failure at some point in time. I know that I have made my fair share of mistakes and know what failure feels like. But here’s the truth you need to be reminded of: you experience failures – you are not a failure. You make mistakes – you are not a mistake.

The attitude you embrace and the mindset you establish fundamentally determine how failure will shape your leadership. When you welcome failure as your teacher it will help you grow and get better. But when you turn inward and see yourself as a failure then it will hold you back and defeat you.

Final Thoughts

Failure and learning go hand in hand. As leaders, it comes with the territory and is part of the journey. While we don’t intentionally or purposefully set out to fail we do know that it’s all a part of our humanity that we embrace. Especially as leaders. Welcome it. Learn from it. Grow from it.

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Five Signs Your Leadership Has a Settler’s Mentality

Posted March 28, 2022
by admin

There is no passion to be found in playing small- in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living. – Nelson Mandela

About 350 years ago, the story is told, a shipload of travelers landed on the northeast coast of America. The first year they established a townsite. The next year they elected a town government. In the third year, the town government planned to build a road five miles westward to the wilderness.

In the fourth year, the people tried to impeach their town government because they thought it was a waste of public funds to build a road five miles westward into a wilderness. Who needed to go there anyway?

Here were people who had the vision to see three thousand miles across an ocean and overcome great hardships to get there. But in just a few years were not able to see even five miles out of town. They had lost their pioneering vision.

This story in some ways embodies what can happen to leaders when they “arrive” at certain levels of success or accomplishment and settle for where they are. And instead of blazing new trails and creating new opportunities, they are content to stop and smell the roses without any thought of moving forward.

You may be in a place in your leadership where you feel that you are in a rut or have grown stagnant. Would you even know that you have or what that looks like? What are some of the signs that you have a settler’s mentality when it comes to your leadership? Here are five for your consideration.

You stand in the way of change

A leader with a settler’s mentality stands in the way of change. He or she not just longs for the ‘good ole days’ but still has that mindset and to some extent prefers it. While one can certainly appreciate the past one must not live or stay there.

John Maxwell once said, “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional.” And so long as you stand in the way of change, you will be like the early settlers in the story above who made a three thousand mile journey across the ocean but lack the vision to move five miles out of town. You can stand in the way of change and be a settler, or change and be a pioneer.

You don’t have a personal growth plan

A leader with a settler’s mentality is in many ways a leader who has grown stagnant. In other words, they’ve stopped growing. Your growth and development as a leader have no endpoint where you’ve arrived and you know it all. If you are not learning and growing as a leader then you are settling.

When you embrace a growth mindset and have a personal growth plan you can break out of that settler’s mentality. It will invigorate you and it will add value to your team. If you’re not growing you are not moving forward. And as a leader, you can’t afford to settle. With growth comes more growth. Don’t settle for where you are, grow to where you want to go. Click To Tweet

Others have moved on without you

Another sure sign that you have a settler’s mentality as a leader is that, well, others have moved on from you. And this is not necessarily because you are not a likable person, but because they’ve outgrown you. They’ve outgrown you not necessarily because they are more talented or gifted, or possess a greater skillset. They’ve moved on because you’ve stopped growing.

Take a look around you. If those closest to you never stay close to you for long, this might be a sign that you’ve settled for too long.

You’re afraid to take risks

Settlers tend to only move when they know it’s safe. If you are a leader whose afraid to take risks then you might have been one of the townspeople opposing the road out of town. Life is full of risks and as a leader, you have to be willing to take them. Click To Tweet

This doesn’t mean that you throw caution to the wind and that you recklessly make decisions, but so long as you never make them, you will always be a settler. Dare to dream, dare to take risks, dare to bet on yourself.

You’ve stopped dreaming

The by-product of a settler’s mentality in your leadership is evidenced in that you’ve stopped dreaming. When was the last time your dreams kept you up at night? Have you lost the passion that you once knew? When you give up on a dream or when it begins to fade, you begin to settle.

When you stop dreaming, something inside you stops growing. A settler’s mentality has no vision of the future beyond their current surroundings.

Are you settling or moving forward?

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Hitting Your Target Takes Practice

Posted June 28, 2021
by admin

Talent hits a target no one else can hit. Genius hits a target no one else can see. – Arthur Schopenhauer

Imagine what the game of bowling would be like if you couldn’t see the pins you were trying to hit. In 1933, Bill Knox did just that- and bowled a perfect game.

In Philadelphia’s Olney Alley’s, Bill had a screen placed just above the foul line to obscure his view of the lane. His purpose was to demonstrate the technique of spot bowling, which involves throwing the ball at a selected floor mark on the near end of the lane. Like many bowlers, Bill knew that you can do better if you aim at a mark close to you that’s in line with the pins. He proved his point with a perfect 300 game of 12 strikes in a row.

It’s quite impressive what Bill Knox did all those years ago to prove a point about spot bowling. And it points us today to understand important personal growth and leadership principles that we need to be reminded of once in a while.

Henry David Thoreau said, “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals,” and this is one of the secrets to success. We tend to focus more on achieving our goals than we do on who we are becoming as a result of it.

Speaking of targets – what personal or professional goals are you currently working toward? One thing I’ve learned over the years is this – hitting your targets takes practice. Here are a few rules of thumb – simple reminders if you will, for hitting your targets and growing as a leader.

Know what you’re aiming for

Your goals and targets need to be clear. If not, how else will you know if or when you’ve reached them? This is especially true for you as a leader within your organization. If your goals and mission are not clear to you, then how can you expect your people to follow you? Your goals and objectives have to be clear otherwise you’ll never hit your target.

If you want to get better, you have to practice

Your goals for personal growth and leadership will never be achieved simply because you want to achieve them. They will only be achieved when you take action! Your goals without action will only lead to disappointment and unfulfilled potential. A simple rule for success is that you must have skin in the game. If not, you are just daydreaming.

Small bites are better than big ones

A natural tendency is to take big bites when tackling a big dream. I get it. What I’ve found over the years is that when I tackle that big goal or project it becomes more readily attainable when I break it down into smaller bites. As you do this, you will also be developing your skills along the way and you will consistently improve as you move forward.

Don’t shy away from big targets

Many times over the years I’ve seen people settle for smaller dreams than what was in their heart simply because they were afraid. I understand. But another thing I’ve learned along the way is this: bigger targets are easier to hit than smaller ones.

Writing in The Circle Maker, Mark Batterson says, “God isn’t offended by your biggest dreams or boldest prayers. He is offended by anything less. If your prayers aren’t impossible to you, they are insulting to God.” Can I encourage you today to be bold with your dreams, your goals, and your targets? I’d like to challenge you to aim for something bigger than yourself. Click To Tweet

Final Thoughts

We all have goals and dreams that inspire us. Make sure you know what you’re aiming for, put in the practice, tackle it one small bite at a time, and dream big!

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Developing Leadership Grit (Part 2): Resilience or Retreat

Posted April 12, 2021
by admin

Grit – noun

Firmness of character; indomitable spirit; pluck

Dictionary.com

It always seems impossible before its done – Nelson Mandela

As an aspiring young writer, she was just six years old when she wrote her first book. It was a story about a rabbit. Her first novel came along at the age of eleven about seven cursed diamonds and the people who owned them.

As a divorced single mom, she was once so poor that she relied on welfare to make ends meet. If ever there was a person with the odds stacked against them, it was her.

Yet in spite of all of the adversity and hardship she faced, she had an indomitable spirit within her. Yes, J.K. Rowling had grit.

Her Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone manuscript was rejected twelve times by the Bloomsbury London Publishers. Yes, you read that right – the book was rejected twelve times before it was finally published.

Since then, J.K. Rowling’s books have sold more than 500 million copies worldwide in 80 languages. Her net worth is estimated at more than $1 billion dollars.

From humble beginnings to one of the richest women in the world, J.K. Rowling is a profile in grit.

Rowling once said, “I was convinced that the only thing I wanted to do ever- was write novels”. And it was grit, in the face of twelve rejections and a myriad of personal challenges that allowed her to do just that. Her contributions through her books instilled a love for reading in a whole generation of children and adults alike.

In your leadership, there will come a time in which you will have to face down your fears and rejections. It will take grit. Most goals and dreams require it. Click To Tweet

As I stated in the first article in this series, developing leadership grit is a growth process. My best advice? Begin with the basics. Before diving into the next principle, let me remind you of leadership grit principle # 1 – Give up or grow up. If grit teaches us anything it’s this – when adversity comes our way this our choice. We can throw in the towel and quit or grow in our leadership and face our obstacles. No one promised smooth sailing which means that sometimes grit is the best card you’re holding in your hand and if played right is all you need.

Leadership Grit Principle # 2 – Develop resilience or retreat

In leadership, as in life, you will have to develop resilience in order to succeed. Even then, you will have setbacks and failures- just like J. K. Rowlings who was rejected twelve times before her first book was published.

In his book, Failing Forward, John Maxwell states, “Successful people have learned to do what does not come naturally. Nothing worth achieving comes easily. The only way to fail forward and achieve your dreams is to cultivate tenacity and persistence”. And this is one of the hallmarks of grit – doing what does not come naturally.

The challenge here is not to see resilience simply as raw emotion or willpower. Think how different your outcomes would be if you saw resilience in a broader context if attached to your life’s greater purpose.

Would your outlook be different if you saw resilience, not as a survival mechanism but rather the life-blood of healthy relationships, mutual accountability, and a purpose greater than yourself? How do you think this would impact you as a leader? Your organization?

Here’s the key- by myself my resilience has its limits. But when joined together with like-minded people the energy is multiplied. By myself, I might have a few wins. When joined with others, I can have many.

At the end of the day, you can choose resilience or retreat. Your choice will make all the difference in the world.

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A Season for Reflection

Posted December 7, 2020
by admin

Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action – Peter Drucker

Somewhere at the beginning of each day, you probably find yourself looking at your reflection in the mirror. Many of us never give a second thought as to how that reflection is produced. All surfaces reflect some light, but only a special type of surface reflects light in such a way that it can form a mirror.

In 1835, German chemist Justis von Liebig devised a process for coating plates of glass with metallic silver. This was the beginning of the mirror as we know it today and helped it become a household item. The mirrors in our homes are made in a similar fashion by evaporating a very thin layer of silver onto a glass.

If you’re like me, spending a lot of time in front of the mirror is not a good thing–for the mirror. But during the month of December in the lead up to Christmas and when thoughts turn toward the new year, it is a time of reflection.

What about you? What are you reflecting on? What are you thankful for? What are you celebrating? What are you mourning?

Times of reflection as a leader is important and every leader needs to do it. Here are a few ways it can help you grow in your leadership.

It puts your past in perspective

When you look back on 2020, it will generate mixed emotions and responses for sure. But the lessons you’ve learned serve a greater good when you stop to consider all that you’ve been through.

While you may not have chosen every event that came your way, you found a way to face it. You found a way to pivot, improvise, and adapt. Was it easy? Certainly not. Were their setbacks and disappointments? Yes. But here you are, and you are here for a purpose.

Reflect on this: You are not defined by your past. You have a purpose to fulfill.

It gives context to your present

Reflection gives you the opportunity to put your present situation into context. One year ago, many would not have imagined they would be in the situation they find themselves in today. In the past year, I have celebrated the birth of a new grandchild, mourned the passing of my mother, and faced the challenges of a pandemic with my fellow human race.

Nibo Qubein said, “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go, they merely determine where you start”. And this is the point of reflection – not to see how far you’ve come but to get a good look at the starting line going forward.

Reflect on this: What actions do you need to take today to get a fresh start on your future?

It provides clarity for your future

Richard Carlson was right when he said, “Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools for success”. And this is one of the primary benefits of it. Not only does reflection give you the benefit of putting your past in perspective and context to your present, but it can give you a blueprint for your future. Click To Tweet

Every lesson you’ve learned this year has prepared you for this moment. You are not the sum of your failures, fears, or setbacks. I believe that you’ve been prepared by them for a future brighter than what you’ve imagined.

Reflect on this: What attitudes do I need to embrace and who are the people that I need to surround myself with going forward?

Final Thoughts

Times of reflection can be invaluable to you as a leader. It can give you the clarity you need as you lead your people who rely on it. Embrace times of reflection and develop it as a discipline. You will be the wiser leader for it.

The Cardinal Point Leadership Podcast is coming in January 2021! The Cardinal Point Leadership Podcast is for leaders young and old. My desire is simple – to cut through the clutter and deliver leadership content that is relevant, practical, and useful. Here we will talk about leadership development, employee engagement, servant leadership, and much more.

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Three Attitude Adjustments to Make Before Christmas

Posted November 29, 2020
by admin

An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality – Brian Tracy

In A Charlie Brown Christmas, Charlie Brown was having trouble getting into the Christmas spirit so Linus said, “Charlie Brown, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem.” Ouch!

Have you ever known a person who, like Charlie Brown, can take a festive event like Christmas and turn it upside down simply because of their attitude? I have and they are no fun to be around.

But the truth of the matter is this: 2020 has been a year like no other. And while most are not going to be sad to see this year come to a close end, it’s important to remember that in many ways, our attitudes can make us or break us.

As we head down the stretch to close out this year, now might be a good time for an attitude inventory and make some adjustments where necessary. Here are three questions to reflect upon.

Am I thankful?

Despite the challenges that came your way in 2020, nothing will reflect on your attitude more than knowing and remembering what you are thankful for right now. During a pandemic, it’s easy to focus on the negative and find things to be upset about. I get it. But during the season we are now in, perhaps it’s time for some perspective that is greater than this snapshot in time.

Charles Dickens aptly put it this way, “Reflect upon your present blessings- of which every man has many- not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” I believe this is a good reminder for us all. Be thankful.

Am I serving?

I have found over the years that the surest way to get my mind off of my troubles is by serving others. In leadership this one of the greatest lessons you will learn – it’s not about you. If you find your attitude waning this holiday season, let me encourage you to look outside yourself and renew your sense of purpose by serving those in need.

Martin Luther King, Jr. put it this way,” Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?”. The day your focus is on others more than it is on you is the day your attitude begins to shift for the better. Serve others.

Am I hopeful?

One of the underlying foundations of a positive attitude is hope. Hope sees beyond the present circumstances and holds to a greater sense of purpose and meaning that might temporarily be eluding you. Let me encourage you to press on anyway. Allow me to encourage you to believe that despite what your present circumstances look like to remember that your faith is not based upon what you see but on what God sees. Click To TweetIf there’s ever been a time for hopeful leaders it’s now.

In his book Unshakeable Hope, Max Lucado writes, “The question is not, will God keep his promises, but, will we build our lives upon them?” And this is what will cause your attitude to be strong in the good times and the bad, Never lose hope.

Final Thoughts

Here’s what we know – life happens-the good, the bad, and the ugly. While we can’t always control everything that comes our way, we can control our attitude. When our focus is on being thankful, serving others, and being hopeful it can help keep our attitude healthy and strong.

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When Adversity Comes – Keep Climbing!

Posted September 2, 2020October 15, 2020
by admin

Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity. – Lou Holtz

In May of 2001, Erik Weihenmeyer accomplished something that only about 150 people per year do – reach the top of Mt. Everest. The thing that made Erik’s achievement unusual is that he is the first blind person to succeed at scaling the tallest mountain in the world. Erik was born with a disease called retinoschisis, and by the time he was thirteen, he was completely blind. Rather than focus on what he could not do, he made the choice to focus on what he could do and went much further than almost anyone expected.

It’s been said that adversity introduces a man to himself. And while most don’t go looking for adversity, life happens. And whether we like it or not, we all face our share of adversity.

Without question, 2020 thus far has been like no other year any of us have ever lived through. Perhaps some of you are like me, you keep thinking it’s just one bad dream we will wake up from and it will all be over with. Can you relate?

As a leader, you will face your share of adversity if you hang around long enough. Some of it will come in ways and from places you didn’t see coming, some of it will come from the least likely person you know, and at times it will be self-inflicted. Regardless of the source – how you deal with it as a leader will make all the difference.

When adversity comes – here are a few simple reminders to hold onto.

Adversity doesn’t discriminate

As a leader, don’t take adversity personally. Adversity comes to all of us. But know this – the size of your dream often will determine the level of adversity. The greater the dream and the loftier your goals, the more challenges you will face Click To Tweet. So when your adversity comes, keep climbing!

Adversity doesn’t define you

Having adversity does not define you as a leader, but how you respond to it will. You can’t always choose the battles you will face, but you choose how you will fight them. Adversity does not have to define you in a negative way, but how you deal with it will reflect on your leadership. Click To TweetThe best thing to do when facing it is to keep climbing!

Adversity is a great teacher

If you allow it, adversity can be your teacher on your leadership journey. Every trial, setback, or failure will introduce you to yourself. If you are smart, you will learn your lessons and apply them to the next challenge. You may not like the process, but what we gain from those experiences can be valuable. When adversity comes consider class in session and don’t give up. Keep climbing!

Final Thoughts

One thing I’ve learned over the years is how adversities change. The personal struggles and adversities I overcame 30 years ago, by and large, are not the ones I battle with today. As you grow as a leader, the adversities you deal with will reflect that season in your life. As you grow and mature as a leader, your adversities will change with you. What you once considered a great challenge or adversity ten years ago, will look much different today as will how you deal with it.

The takeaway from this leadership lesson is to never stop climbing. You will come through this season of adversity if you never give up.

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The Power of Kind Words

Posted July 2, 2020
by admin

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit – – Proverbs 18:21 ESV

I came across this story that I’d like to pass along to you:

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really?” she heard whispered. “I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and, “I didn’t know others liked me so much,” were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last do so.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. She nodded: “Yes.” Then he said: “Mark talked about you a lot.”

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

“We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.

“Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.”

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.”

Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.”

“I have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet, and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I carry this with me at all times,” Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: “I think we all saved our lists.”

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

Kind words. If there’s ever been a time when we need to speak and hear more kind words, it’s now. It seems that we are hearing less of them these days. Public discourse has a way of turning sour. We seem to be more concerned about being heard, than listening and understanding.

But all that aside, there is a better way. Taking the high road is an option and it’s up to people like me and you to lead the way.

Mother Teresa said, “ Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier”.

Change is never easy and at times the ship turns slow, but it happens one heart and one kind word at a time.

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Take The High Road: 20 Quotes to Reflect On

Posted June 27, 2020
by admin

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love – I Corinthians 13:13 (ESV)

Without question, we live in tumultuous times. The news headlines we see today are enough to discourage anyone as we see what is happening in our society.

In the midst of all the divides us, I wanted to devote space this week to remember what’s more important in times like this–taking the high road. There’s enough division out there to go around. We need to unite. Let’s be reminded that what we’d like to see in others first begins in us.

I’ve chosen 20 quotes for reflection. Take them to heart and pass them along.

“If you don’t like something change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are. – Harold S. Kushner

“Your beliefs don’t make you a better person. Your behavior does.” – Toby Mac

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only love can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

“The high road is always respected. Honesty and integrity are always rewarded.” – Scott Hamilton

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.” – Mother Teresa

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, It’s not.” – Dr. Seuss

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.” – Mark Twain

“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.” – Seneca

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” – Dalai Lama

“Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” – Brad Meltzer

“We are not here to curse the darkness, but to light the candle that can guide us thru that darkness to a safe and sane future.” – John F. Kennedy

“In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.” – Anne Frank

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

“I’m going to take the high road because the low road is too crowded.” – Mia Farrow

“Make sure you see people through the eyes of love, not the eyes of judgment.” – Joel Osteen

“Teach me to feel another’s woe, to hide the fault I see, that mercy I to others show, that mercy show to me.” – Alexander Pope

“As a leader, the first person I need to lead is me. The first person I should try to change is me.” – John Maxwell

“Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts.” – Charles Dickens

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up…” – I Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV)

Bonus: “What unites us, is much greater than what divides us.” – Pope John XXIII

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The Dirt on Leadership

Posted June 11, 2020June 11, 2020
by admin

Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position. – Brian Tracy

In her column, Ask Marilyn, Marilyn vos Savant gave an interesting perspective on contentment. One reader wrote in about a unique experiment she had conducted after being dissatisfied that her neighbor’s yard looked better than her own. She did what few have done and walked next door to look back at her own grass. When she stood in her neighbor’s yard, the grass in her own yard now looked greener than theirs so she asked, “Why does this occur?”

Marilyn replied, “The grass looks greener on the other side of the fence because you’re not close enough to see the dirt.” Most of the time, things look better for others simply because we can’t see their dirt.

I remember my days as a young leader looking up to some of those larger than life people who influenced me. On one occasion, I remember meeting one such person and came away quite demoralized. I had looked up to this person, but up close there was a lot of dirt. Words like haughty, aloof, and arrogant come to mind when I recall the encounter.

That experience was more than three decades ago and since then I’ve come to set more realistic expectations. I do this not as a defense mechanism so as not to ever be disappointed again but as a way of embracing my humanity as a leader and recognizing it in others. Any of us can have a bad day and none of us want to be defined by one bad encounter. Do you?

It’s easy to see the successes in others and get caught up in the trap of comparing ourselves – our success, our following, our accomplishments up against those more successful. And when we do, we see greener grass elsewhere.

Seeing the greener grass on the other side is nothing new. We all have those moments when we think it’s time to go graze there. Here are a couple of thoughts to consider when your mind drifts in that direction.

Don’t envy other people’s dirt

Lyrics to an old Garth Brooks song say, “Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers.” In leadership, you see what you think is the greener grass – a career move, a promotion, a better opportunity, etc., and you are tempted to jump the fence. And then in some providential way you come to discover that what you thought was a great move would have been a disaster had you taken it.

Focus on being the best leader you can be right where you are. You can only make things greener if you stay and work it. Click To Tweet

Tend to your own dirt

Back in my high school days, I worked in a garden center. In the winter months when business was slow, we prepared for spring. We would build greenhouses and we would pot thousands of roses.

But before we could begin the potting process we would have to prepare the soil. This would include all of the necessary ingredients including fertilizers – even manure, mixed together. It was smelly, dirty, and hard work. Not to mention the constant cuts from the thorns even while wearing gloves.

In leadership, just as in potting roses, you have to tend your soil, and sometimes the work is dirty and unpleasant. But the reward is worth it. Click To Tweet

So before you are envious of the green grass you think you see elsewhere, stop and consider that there’s a lot of dirt you don’t see. And regardless of how bad you think you have it, your responsibility is to bloom where you are planted.

Ultimately, yes, one day the time will be right, the new calling will be a good fit, and moving on will be the right thing to do. But it’s almost never a good move when done out of jealousy or frustration. In many of those cases, it’s just exchanging one pile of dirt and manure for another.

Final Thoughts

Gandhi said, “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” And this is true in leadership. Create the change – create the greener grass, right where you are. And don’t forget that with all the green grass comes a good bit of dirt.

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