mentoring – Page 5 – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

The Selfie Generation: A Call to the Renewal of Servant Leadership

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. – Lao Tzu

In 0.2 seconds after typing the word “selfies” into the Google search engine more than 17 million results turned up. To say that we live in a narcissist generation is obviously an understatement.

For those of you who have been visiting another planet and are not up to speed on what a selfie is let me introduce you to the phenomenon. Selfies, as defined by the Urban Dictionary are, “pictures taken of oneself while holding the camera at arm’s length.” In recent months it has become the trendy thing to do and mimic since the likes of Ellen and other celebrities have turned it more into a fun fad.

While on the surface there is nothing wrong with selfies (yes, I have taken one or two myself) there is a broader or deeper prevailing issue I’d like to explore as it relates to leadership styles. To be clear, in this writing my reference to selfies is a depiction of self-indulged leaders and not about the practice as defined in the Urban Dictionary. My concern is that with the rise of the selfie generation we are in danger of losing sight of the meaning and relevance of servant leadership.

A leadership pyramid I studied some years back by John Maxwell showed that the higher one climbs as a leader the more rights he or she surrenders. In its place is more responsibility. My concern is how less rights and more responsibility fits the narrative of a selfie culture. How do servant leaders emerge from this mindset? How do selfie leaders measure up against servant leaders? Here are but a few examples.

Selfie leaders choose style whereas servant leaders choose substance.

For the selfie type of leader it’s all about their image. Decisions are made and based upon not what’s best for the organization or team but how it makes him or her look. It’s a leadership trap to be sure. Everyone wants to be liked and to be popular, but servant leaders gave up that right a long time ago. Servant leaders will stand for and with those who choose substance over image. In the end it’s about honoring their principles over their popularity. The servant leader sets the example with his integrity.

Selfie leaders are more concerned about receiving while servant leaders care more about giving.

Nothing will more clearly define and set the two apart more readily than this. The selfie leader is all about what’s in it for him while the servant leader is about giving. It’s all in the math. The selfie subtracts (takes) while the servant leader adds (gives). It’s a reflection of the heart and priorities. The servant leader sets the example not by what he takes but by what he sacrifices and gives.

Chart is courtesy of: Developing the Leader Within You, by John Maxwell.

Selfie leaders care more about their position while servant leaders care more about their people.

There is no substitute for the human equation in leadership. Positions come and go, but at the end of the day the servant leader who cares less about his title and more about his people is the one who will survive. Selfie leaders can’t help themselves. Eventually it all comes back around to them. Selfie leaders will do whatever it takes to protect that which matters least (position or title) while using the people who matter the most. It’s a sad trap many aspiring leaders fail to see. The servant leader sets the example by modeling humility.

Max de Pree said, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” I believe this leadership philosophy is needed today and is a blueprint for the future. Servant leadership is not about being a weak leader but rather a strong and convincing one. The ultimate measure of a leader’s power is not found in the authority that he or she is willing to grab hold of but in what they are willing to lay down. It’s not determined by demanding more rights but in assuming more responsibility.

I believe now more than ever in the power of servant leadership. What do you say?

I welcome your feedback:

1. What do you believe are the biggest barriers to servant leadership today?

2. Are the selfie leaders as described here more the norm or the exception in your opinion?

3. What tangible things can you do to help build a servant leadership mentality?

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Ten Things Every Leader Should Always Teach

Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. – Benjamin Franklin

At school one day a little boy was asked what he was thankful for. The boy replied, “My glasses.” “That’s good,” said the teacher, “they help you see better.”

“No,” responded the child, “I’m thankful for my glasses because they keep the other boys from hitting and fighting with me and the girls from kissing me.”

While perhaps not the reason the teacher had expected to hear, the little boy made his point. As leaders we’ve all benefited from good teachers that have shaped our lives. As a leader you are now in that role and the life lessons you share are just as important.

John Maxwell said, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” This is one of your functions as a leader. While it may not be in a formal classroom setting it is teaching nonetheless and the lessons are important. Here are ten lessons every leader should always be teaching. It’s not an exhaustive list but these are essential.

How to give praise.

Just as students tend to respond better to praise the same holds true with your team members. When the people in your business or organization receive praise and encouragement from you they come away with the sense that you have their backs. Give them praise and give it generously.

How to listen.

This is one of the most important skills that you will develop as a leader. Many leaders like to talk but you will be a more effective leader when you learn to listen and hear what others have to say. From what you learn you can make better and more informed decisions.

How to say no.

While listening may be one of the most important things to teach saying no will be one of the hardest. Many good ideas from well-meaning people will come across your desk. Be it the timing, the budget, or some other factor, sometimes the answer is no. How you say no is important. Take the time to explain why.

How to work hard.

Your team members will learn more from your example than by your words. If you want them to work hard then they need to see you work hard. Leadership by example is not just a cliché it is real and practical. When they see that you have skin and sweat in the game they will join you.

How to let things go.

As a leader you will face many challenges and many frustrations. People get on your nerves and rub you the wrong way. You have pressures, deadlines, and disappointments. Teach your team how to let things go and not get so stressed out over every little obstacle that comes your way. Not everything you set out to do is always going to go according to plan. But that’s okay. Let it go.

How to confront.

This is one of the least favorite things a leader has to do. We’d much rather be giving out praise. But there are those times as a leader when you must confront others for whatever reason. How you confront needs to be a teachable moment that shows how to be firm, how to be fair, and that you have accountability measures in place that you are not afraid to enforce. How you do it is just as important as why you do it.

How to say thank you.

This one simple act can make a world of difference. Why it’s hard at times for leaders to do I am not sure. But if you want to see the atmosphere in your office or organization improve then take the time to thank those around you for all of their hard work. And while you are at it – make it personal. Hand-written notes are especially nice.

How to forgive.

Hang around in leadership long enough and you will understand the power of forgiveness. You will learn about the necessity of giving it and receiving it. The point is simply this – life is too short to hold grudges and hold on to resentments. Forgive others and move on.

How to set priorities.

Jim Rohn said, “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” People in your organization need to see that you have a set of priorities that you live by – family, faith, work etc. You teach priorities by your routines and time management. What’s important to you is given priority. It’s that simple.

How to delegate.

Delegation is the key to your success and that involves everyone in the process. Delegation is not just by divvying up work for the sake of having something to do. It’s about matching the right people with the right skills to maximize productivity and results. You were not meant to do it all by yourself. Delegate your way to success.

What do you say?

I welcome your feedback:

1. What lesson stood out to you the most? Why?

2. What lessons would you add to this list?

3. What are some practical ways you can begin to implement some of these lessons right away?

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Leadership Minute: Your Level of Success

Posted April 22, 2014
by admin

The level of our success is limited only by our imagination and no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted. – Aesop

There is a big difference between imagined success and success realized. But the starting place is found in your imagination. What dreams and aspirations do you have? I am convinced that the pathway to success is found in part by what you dream; those passions in your heart that you nourish to life. When you couple that with acts of selflessness in giving and being a blessing to others it all comes back on you in positive ways. Your success can be all you’ve imagine it to when you dare to dream big dreams, work really hard, and give generously. Unleash your potential today by setting your imagination free.

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Leadership Minute: What’s Your Risk Factor?

If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary. – Jim Rohn

Your growth as a leader involves many variables. Primarily it’s hard work. There’s just no way to avoid it to get where you want to go. Other variables will include some good breaks, making the right contacts, and just a relentless pursuit of your dream with passion. But there is one other factor you must not forget about; risk. Many people don’t have a high tolerance for risk. They had rather play it safe and choose predictable paths. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with that approach but sometimes you have to take steps of faith not knowing where the path might lead. Let me encourage you today to follow your dreams and when necessary be willing to take a risk on your future. Be confident in your abilities and trust your instincts.

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Turning Complainers into Contributors

Complaining not only ruins everybody else’s day, it ruins the complainer’s day, too. The more we complain, the more unhappy we get. – Dennis Prager

The story is told of a cowboy out West driving down a dirt road, his dog riding in the back of the pickup truck, his faithful horse in the trailer behind. He failed to negotiate a curve and had a terrible accident.

Sometime later, a highway patrol officer came on the scene. An animal lover, he saw the horse first. Realizing the serious nature of its injuries, he drew his service revolver and put the animal out of its misery. He walked around the accident and found the dog, also hurt critically. He couldn’t bear to hear it whine in pain, so he ended the dog’s suffering as well.

Finally, he located the cowboy who had suffered multiple fractures, off in the weeds. “Hey, are you okay?” the officer asked. The cowboy took one look at the smoking revolver in the trooper’s hand and quickly replies, “Never felt better!”

The story is a light-hearted way to remind us of the power of being positive in a negative world. Whiners and complainers have a way of sucking the oxygen out of the room and creating an environment for others that is less than desirable. Do you know any chronic complainers?

Inc. contributor Minda Zeltin interviewed Trevor Blake, author of Three Simple Steps: A Map to Success in Business and Life (http://bit.ly/IOJWMQ). Blake says that being around so much negativity can in turn make you negative, and that keeps you from actually solving problems. So forget the annoyance factor; the issue runs deeper than that. So what is a leader to do with whiners and complainers in the office? How do you deal with the person who is not happy unless they are unhappy and making life miserable for everyone else? Here are a few tips to get you started.

Raise Expectations.

The working environment in your office or organization must be a place where creative minds are free to explore, where the exchange and free flow of information and ideas is welcomed and encouraged, and where the tolerance level for whiners and complainers is low. A chronic whiner or complainer is detrimental to that environment. To be sure, there must be room for disagreements and as a leader you shouldn’t turn a deaf ear to genuine concerns. But your expectations must be high and they must be consistent. Complainers must be turned into contributors. But how?

Expect Solutions.

As expectations are raised the responsibility shifts back onto those complaining. If there is a concern that needs to be raised then there should be freedom enough to express those concerns without fear of repercussions. There is however a big difference between a gripe session and a solution session. Anyone can complain, but can they bring solutions? You should make it a rule that for every gripe or concern someone brings to the table they also come with an equal or higher number of solutions. This gives them ownership of the problem and increases their commitment. This is how they move from being complainers to contributors.

Hold people accountable.

As you raise expectations and expect solutions you are setting the tone for a productive work environment. No office or leader is immune from complainers and there will always be room for improvement. As a leader it’s important that the lines of communication always be open between you and your team even if at times you don’t like the delivery of the message. You shouldn’t discard what the complainer has to say simply because you don’t like their delivery. But it is your task as leader to help turn them from being complainers to being contributors.

Let’s be clear. You should never sacrifice the integrity of your office environment because of the actions of one or two people. If a complainer refuses to come on board as a contributor then it is going to create wide spread problems with morale and productivity. You owe it to the contributors to not tolerate that type of behavior. Nor should you apologize for high standards. On the bright side, the most valuable team member you can potentially have is the one who transitions from being a complainer to a contributor.

What do you say?

I invite your feedback!

1. How do you deal with complainers in your office?

2. Have complainers in your office or organization been tolerated? If so, what has been the effect?

3. What other possible solutions can you give to effectively handle chronic complainers?

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Leadership Minute: Step of Faith

Posted March 27, 2014
by admin
2 Comments on Leadership Minute: Step of Faith

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the most exhilarating and yet one of the most fearful steps for many leaders is those blind steps of faith. We tend to be careful, calculated, and want to know the whole game plan. But there are those unique and special times when you just have to go with your gut instincts and take a step of faith even if you don’t see the entire picture. Sometimes your goals and dreams await you on the other side of your faith. Dare to dream, set your sights high, and when the time comes, dare to step out and go for it. The big picture will become clearer with each step you take.

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Leadership Minute: Working Together

Posted March 13, 2014
by admin
2 Comments on Leadership Minute: Working Together

There is nothing wrong with competition. The problem for many leaders is that thy end up competing against their peers in their organization in a way that hurts the team and them. – John Maxwell

Hopefully within your organization are a group of committed individuals who have a strong desire to succeed. The energy they generate is vital to your future. The more of them you have the better positioned you are going forward. But be careful not to allow that energy to be used in a negative way. Healthy competition is good but it can be counterproductive when it turns friends into enemies or colleagues into adversaries. Don’t allow factions to emerge because of the actions of a few. Your team must be reminded that you are all working toward the same goals and everyone’s success must be celebrated. When you work together you can succeed together.

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Leadership Minute: Make The Connection

If you’re talking with your head, you’re going to speak to their heads. If you’re talking with your heart, you’re going to reach their hearts. If you talk with your life, you’re going to reach their lives. – Italo Magni

In many ways leadership is about making connections. It comes with the territory. But the depth of your connections is up to you. When you seek to only connect with others from an intellectual standpoint then your impact will be nominal. When you go a little deeper and lead with your heart then you can make a difference. Certainly your influence is increased. But when you lead with your life and connect on that more intimate level you can change the world. Do you desire to be a world-changing leader? Make the investment to lead with your life and then everything else will fall into place. It will not be easy and will require much from you. But it’s worth it. Make the connection.

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Three Ways to Map Your Future

Posted February 16, 2014
by admin
1 Comment on Three Ways to Map Your Future

Each man should frame life so that at some future hour fact and his dreaming meet. – Victor Hugo

A story is told of an old map on display in the British Museum in London. It’s an old mariner’s chart, drawn in 1525, outlining the North American coastline and adjacent waters. The cartographer made some intriguing notations on areas of the map that represented regions not yet explored.

He wrote: “Here be giants,” “Here be fiery scorpions,” and “Here be dragons.” Eventually, the map came into the possession of Sir John Franklin, a British explorer in the early 1800’s. Scratching out the fearful inscriptions, he wrote these words across the map; “Here be God.”

Your rise as a leader is marked by a future you choose for yourself. Although it’s not a guarantee, you can take great strides to attaining it through big dreams, hard work, and a willingness to pay the price to achieve it. From the old mariner’s chart come three leadership lessons for your consideration as you map your future as a leader.

A future with a clean slate.

Regardless of how others may have labeled you in the past your future is yours to write. Have you made mistakes in the past? Have you been unfairly criticized? Have others tried to marginalize you or overlooked your potential? Well, let me encourage you to know that who you are today and where you are headed as a leader is not decided by what others think or believe but in the way you now choose to behave. It’s decided by the truth you choose to believe and accept about who you are now. Ignore the labels and refuse to be defined by your past. You have a clean slate with which to work. Now is your time to chart a new course.

A future with fresh thinking.

By embracing your future and working with a clean slate you can now go to work with fresh thinking that can propel you to a new level. Are you comfortable enough in your own skin to be made uncomfortable with new ideas? When you map your future you must do so with new and improved ways of thinking. Throw off the shackles of old thinking and stale ways of doing things. It won’t happen by chance. Moving forward with new disciplines will require an open mind and right attitudes. Fresh thinking deserves a chance but it will only work when you cross out the old inscriptions of the past and chart a new future.

A future with unlimited potential.

Mapping out your future has little to do with past labels. It has everything to do with what you believe about yourself, how you choose to act upon that belief, and what actions you are willing to take to go there. In as much as you don’t have to be defined by your past, only you can choose your future. You have all the makings of a strong leader when you believe the truth of today over the definitions of yesterday. Embrace your potential. What goals or dreams do you need to resurrect and dust off? What past inscription do you need to cross out? It’s time for a new entry on the map of your future and it needs to be the one you write. Dare to believe that you have unlimited potential and a future full of possibilities. Just remember, those who have tried to contain you in your past won’t be part of your success in the future. Your story is yours for the making. Dream big. Work hard. Don’t look back.

1. Which point hit home with you the most?

2. What are some tangible ways one can cross out the impressions of others in the past so that you can move forward with your future?

3. What goals and dreams are you inspired to pursue with a renewed passion?

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Leadership Minute: Reach Back; Lift Up

What makes you great is when you reach back and help somebody else become great. – Joel Osteen

What is the measure of your leadership? For some I suppose this might be a subjective question, but I don’t believe so. This is one of your greatest acts as a leader. The purpose of your leadership transcends your job description, title, or any other marker you may assign to it. What makes you an impactful leader is measured not by those who serve you but by how many you reach back and help become great also. Simply put, it’s not about you. Your impact as a leader is found in helping others become great. Reach back; lift up!

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