Life Lessons – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

How Pain Shapes You As a Leader

Posted September 20, 2023September 21, 2023
by admin

Success in life comes not from holding a good hand, but in playing a poor hand well. – Warren G. Lester

When it comes to the painful experiences of life, I’ve never seen anyone volunteering or signing up to go through a painful experience. Have you?

But all of us have either been touched by a painful life experience or know someone who has. Life brings the sting of pain, such as (and many more):

The pain of a divorce
The pain of the death of a friend or loved one
The pain of a lost job
The pain of financial hardships
The pain of poor health
The pain change
The pain of caring for aging parents
The pain of depression

Life is full of painful experiences. And sooner or later, we all deal with those painful events. As a leader, you are not exempt.

I will never forget the painful event of losing my mother at the height of the COVID pandemic (but not due to COVID). It was one of the most painful life experiences that I had to deal with. She lived out of state and traveling back and forth was a challenge as well as being around her.

To make matters worse, when she did pass away, we were unable to have a funeral for her as it was at the height of the pandemic and social distancing protocols simply prevented it. Not being able to have her many friends and family gather to celebrate her life was painful and disappointing.

Virginia Satir said, “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” And this is especially true in the way you deal with painful life experiences as well as in your leadership.

I’m a firm believer that life experiences – especially the bad ones, are teachers or guides that help us become better. How can we make sure that the experiences of life make us better and not bitter? Here are a few tips from a fellow friend on the journey with you.

Acknowledge your pain

As a leader, you are not exempt from painful life experiences. We are all touched by them. By acknowledging your pain you are simply stating the obvious that you are human like everyone else and you are not exempt from the pains and sorrows of life.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a vulnerable leader.

Embrace your pain

The painful experiences of life are not meant to be bottled up. Life’s pains and traumas don’t go away by themselves. They won’t go away by ignoring them. On your leadership journey, you will deal with your own personal points of pain as well as share in the painful life events of those around you. The sooner you acknowledge and address your pain the sooner you will move to a place of healing.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a compassionate leader.

Adjust to your pain

What I am not advocating here is a surrender to the inevitability of continuous painful life experiences. Realistically, they are seasons we go through. I am, however, advocating for you to choose how you will face those experiences and the attitude by which you deal with them.

We don’t always choose the experiences that we face in life, but we do choose our attitudes toward them. And to be sure, sometimes it’s not the size of the problem or the depth of the pain, but its duration that wears us down. Making the right adjustments – especially with regard to your attitude will allow you to navigate them with a clear mind and heart.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a resilient leader.

Emerge from your pain

Painful life experiences, while difficult and challenging at the time, in due time do pass. And to be sure, the pain is real, the scars hurt, and memories of what was will linger with us. But you can emerge from that season stronger and healthier in the end.

Max Lucado said, “A season of suffering is a small assignment when compared to the reward. Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all, use it. Use it to the glory of God.” And this is the goal when emerging from life’s painful events.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a victorious leader.

Final Thoughts

I don’t know the season you face in your leadership right now. But I do believe that the pain you are walking through right now is going to serve a greater purpose in the end when you use it for the glory of God.

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Resources: Books I’d like to recommend to you as a supplement to this new column.

All of these books can be ordered from Amazon.

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move on, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again By Lysa TerKeust

2. Out of the Cave: Stepping Into the Light When Depression Darkens What You See by Chris Hodges

3. Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life by Craig Groeschel

4. Anxious For Nothing: Finding Calm in Chaos by Max Lucado

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Leadership Lessons From The G.O.A.T.

Posted January 31, 2022January 31, 2022
by admin

Losing is no disgrace if you’ve given your best. – Jim Palmer

The Cinderella ending of Tom Brady’s playoff run with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is not the one he wanted. But with class, he played the hand he was dealt. Will he retire from the game? By the time you read this, we may have our answer.

My intention here is not to stroll down memory lane detailing all of the highlights of his remarkable career. There’s not enough time or space here to do that. His accomplishments speak for themselves.

Any player can give glowing remarks after an incredible come from behind win or other such accomplishment and look good. But how you handle the disappointment of a loss is more revealing.

After the defeat of the Buccaneers to the Rams in the recent playoff game, Brady took to his Instagram page to comment about the loss. In doing so, he gives us a few lessons in leadership that transcend the game.

Allow me to break down those leadership lessons taken from his post. I believe these lessons can benefit any leader regardless of your profession.

Gratitude

“…but this week, all that is on my mind is the gratitude I have for this team and the fans that have supported us…”

In this statement, Tom Brady brings to the forefront a leadership characteristic all can emulate. When you lead from a heart of gratitude it speaks volumes about your character. The lesson here is simple but profound – no one does it alone.

Brady rightfully acknowledges his teammates and fans for their support. He acknowledges that when everyone comes together and works hard then great things can happen. A heart of gratitude and humility is refreshing coming from a player the caliber of Brady especially after a loss.

Hard work pays off

“This year has been incredibly rewarding personally and professionally and I am appreciative of everyone who worked their ass off to help our team achieve so much.”

Simply put, Brady is acknowledging the obvious – hard work pays off. When everyone is invested and willing to work hard and make the sacrifices to achieve great results, it’s a humbling experience. Even though the season ended sooner than he and the rest of the team would have liked, he acknowledged everyone’s efforts and did not blame anyone for the loss. It was a total team effort that was characterized by hard work and determination.

Hard work and self-discipline have always been hallmarks of Brady’s career, even in the offseason. When a leader or athlete like Brady is the one who sets the bar, it lifts everyone to a higher standard and he gives credit where it’s due.

Keep everything in proper perspective

“ I always want to win., I think that’s pretty apparent by now, but that doesn’t mean I equate losing to failure, especially when you go out fighting the way we did.”

Brady’s quote here is leadership gold. When you understand that losing one game does not equal failure it’s a game-changer.

In his book, Failing Foward, John Maxwell writes, “ The difference between average people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.” Brady’s ability to see in this light indicates that he clearly understands the difference.

Click here to order the book

Final Thoughts

Tom Brady demonstrated that winning is not characterized by the final score of a game. He showed that some things are more important – like living with gratitude, working hard, and keeping everything in proper perspective.

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Leadership Lessons From Fred Rogers

Posted June 30, 2019
by admin

Life is deep and simple, and what our society gives us is shallow and complicated – Fred Rogers

It’s been 16 years since the passing of the beloved Fred Rogers, the host of “Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood”. His life was an inspiration to millions and the life lessons and values he passed on will not be forgotten by those of us who were privileged enough to watch him growing up.

His communication style was simple, straight forward, and sound. He told it like it was and inspired us to a higher standard.

There are many notable Fred Rogers quotes worth sharing, but the following are some of my favorites along with leadership applications.

There are three ways to ultimate success: The first way is to be kind. The second way is to be kind. The third way is to be kind.

To my previous point – his communication style was simple, straight forward, and sound. Being kind is a timeless leadership principle. What makes you a leader worth knowing, following, or emulating has nothing to do with your title, position, or who you know. It all comes down to this one thing- are you kind? Click To Tweet How you treat others says all that’s needed about what kind of leader you are. Be kind!

There is no normal life that is free of pain. It’s the very wrestling with our problems that can be the impetus for our growth.

Just as life is not free from pain, neither is leadership. It has its painful moments. But the secret to your growth and development as a leader is not how to make all of your problems go away as pleasing as that might sound. It’s about learning how to wrestle. It’s about what you learn in the struggle that makes you a better person and leader. Don’t shy away from your problems, learn from them.

There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.

As a leader, every encounter you have with the people you meet is an opportunity to add value to them. Think about the everyday encounters you have with others and ask yourself this simple question, “Did I add value today?”. Remember, with every encounter you are leaving a part of yourself. Make it count.

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”

This is a great leadership principle. In today’s world, it’s so easy to be cynical and skeptical as we see how things have deteriorated on so many fronts. Regardless of how bad things may seem, don’t give up on the goodness of the human spirit. It’s still alive. Look for the helpers! Click To Tweet

Often out of periods of losing come the greatest strivings toward a new winning streak

This is one of the hardest leadership principles to learn. It’s during the dark times that we tend to drift mentally, emotionally, and spiritually and begin to doubt ourselves. And we wonder, “Is it time to throw in the towel and quit?”. Your winning streak is on the other side of the slump you may currently find yourself in. Don’t give up.

Try your best to make goodness attractive. That’s one of the toughest assignments you’ll ever be given

As it is with the principle of being kind, so too is the principle of making goodness attractive. You will never be less of a leader because you are kind or because you’ve made goodness attractive. If anything, you will make it more appealing. How are you making goodness attractive?

There’s a world of difference between insisting on someone’s doing something and establishing an atmosphere in which that person can grow into wanting to do it.

This is a timeless leadership principle that can save aspiring leaders much grief and frustration. You can attempt to lead by decree that’s attached to your title or you can lead from the heart and through relationships. The one path is hard and unfulfilling. The other is transformative and rewarding. Make it your practice to establish the kind of atmosphere that fosters growth and builds your culture.

Times have changed since the days of “Mister Rogers Neighborhood”. But the lessons in values and in leadership are as applicable as ever. And as societies and cultures change, we too as leaders must be a step ahead to interpret and give context. While the neighborhood may have changed, the lessons live on for a new generation of leaders.

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Hope For Discouraged Leaders

Posted April 22, 2019
by admin

If you are alive and breathing, you can still become everything God has created you to be. – Joel Osteen

In 1858 the Illinois legislature- using an obscure statute- sent Stephen A. Douglas to the U.S. Senate instead of Abraham Lincoln, although Lincoln had won the popular vote. When a sympathetic friend asked Lincoln how he felt, he said, “Like the boy who stubbed his toe: I am too big to cry and too badly hurt to laugh.”

If you hang around in leadership long enough you will know what discouragement feels like. I’m not trying to depress you but simply stating the obvious. Behind the glittering image and friendly smiles are leaders who face incredible pressures and shoulder responsibilities that can be daunting. Unfortunately, many leaders feel trapped with no one to talk with or vent to due to the “glittering image” that they feel compelled to present to the public.

Let’s be honest. Times of discouragement will come. How you react to it will make all the difference going forward. As a leader, you are not immune from troubles, in fact, you may have more. So how do you keep a proper perspective and come through it on the other side a better leader? Here are three reminders that you need to consider.

You are not alone

Life happens to all of us. It’s not always pretty. As a leader, you know this to be true. Disappointments come – you didn’t land that new client, a colleague betrayed you, sales are sluggish – you get the picture.

Here is what you need to know: your disappointment today is preparing you for great opportunities tomorrow. But there’s a catch. It all hinges on your attitude. While bad things can happen to good people; good people turn bad things into great opportunities. Click To Tweet

At a young age, Walt Disney easily could have been discouraged and given up. He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for “lacking ideas”. He could have taken his rejection and thrown in the towel. But if anything he used that experience to motivate him to greater things – and the rest, as they say, is history.

When times of disappoint and discouragement come, remember this truth – you are not alone.

You are stronger than you think

One truth I’ve learned over the years is this: you can be defined by life’s moments or you can define life’s moments. So how do you define life’s moments? You do so by choosing faith over fear, forgiveness over resentment, and by embracing God’s view of your life over man’s view. You don’t always have control over what comes your way but you can choose your path going forward. Click To Tweet

Thomas Edison experienced one of those defining moments in his career. His lab caught fire and was destroyed. All of his work went up in flames. To add insult to injury, his building was under-insured. It was a devastating and defining moment. How would he respond?

“There is great value in disaster,” said Edison, “all our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” Edison did not choose the fire, but he did choose to define the moment.

Here is the truth to remember: We don’t like adversity and disappointments because we mistakenly believe that we can’t handle it. But I submit that you are stronger than you think and you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Are you ready to define your moment?

You are not defined by your past you are prepared by it

Every experience that you go through is preparation for what’s next. Along the way, you have gained valuable experience. Some of it has come easy while at other times you wish you could have a do-over. It’s all part of the learning curve. I’ve been there countless times and I dare say you have as well.

But if you want to move forward as a leader you have to learn to let go of the past – especially the bad and cut yourself some slack. What’s important is that you have learned your lessons, have peace in your heart and are stronger as a result.

Discouragement sets in when you see yourself through the lens of failure rather than through the lens of grace. Click To Tweet

Here is the truth you need to remember: you are not the sum of your fears or your mistakes. Your past is your boot camp and it has prepared you for such a time as this.

Times of discouragement will come. But the good news is- it will pass. Stay strong and be encouraged. You are not alone, you are strong, and you are prepared!

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Postcards From China

Posted July 30, 2018
by dougdickerson

Challenging Assumptions

The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. – Marcel Proust

As I write this postcard, I am in my fifth and final week here in the Guangdong province of southern China. It’s been an incredible journey – one that I will never forget.

As I reflect on my time here, I must make a confession. I came here with a lot of wrong assumptions. Of course, if we are honest, we can all look to times in our lives when we’ve made wrong assumptions about people or things. That can be good, or bad, depending upon your individual circumstances.

In my case, I am glad to say I was wrong. My preconceived views of this beautiful country and its people were not tied to the realities of everyday life I see here. It had been skewered by the lens of political and religious differences, while real, made me unnecessarily cautious.

The Chinese people are warm, hospitable, beautiful, and most willing to help a stranger. So, enjoy a few pictures of this remarkable country, and as you do, think about old assumptions that you’re holding onto. Perhaps it’s time to let them go.

Until next time,

Doug

The smiles of the children will light up your world. We need more smiles.

“I try to have as much fun as I can, and I travel around the world doing what I love”. – Red Gerard – Yep!

“The best education I have ever received is through travel”. – Lisa Ling So true!

Wherever you go, go with all your heart”. – Confucius (Victoria Harbor, Hong Kong)

“You do not travel if you are afraid of the unknown, you travel for the unknown, that reveals you with yourself”. – Ella Maillart

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Postcards From China

Posted July 15, 2018
by dougdickerson

Life Can Be A Circus

Keep the circus going on inside you, keep it going, don’t take anything too seriously, it’ll all work out in the end. – David Niven

Week three of my adventures in China is about to begin. It’s been an incredible experience so far.

After overcoming many unexpected challenges and obstacles last week, it was only fitting over the weekend for our team to drive down to Guangzhou to attend the famous Chimelong International Circus.

Chimelong International Circus.
Provided by the author.

If you ever make your way over to this part of the world, put the Chimelong International Circus on your list of things to do. It’s simply amazing and there are leadership/life lessons to be applied.

Your life in leadership can resemble a circus at times. Think about it – there are many moving parts–a ton of distractions, near disasters, a ton of thrills- all while entertaining the masses.

Sound familiar?

Regardless of what life or leadership throws at you, here are a few things worth remembering- a few lessons from the circus…

Laughter is good medicine because life is too short

Along the way, don’t forget to have some fun

Even clowns serve a purpose

When the show is spectacular no one will remember your mistakes

And yes, the show must go on!

Until next time!

Doug

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Life, Work, and Discovering Your ‘Why’: Finding Balance in an Unstable World

Posted January 21, 2016
by admin

lifework

In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years. – Abraham Lincoln

Architect Frank Lloyd Wright once told of an incident that may have seemed insignificant at the time, but had a profound influence on the rest of his life. The winter he was 9, he went walking across a snow-covered field with his reserved, no-nonsense uncle. As the two of them reached the far end of the field, his uncle stopped him. He pointed out his own tracks in the snow, straight and true as an arrow’s flight, and then young Frank’s tracks meandering all over the field.

“Notice how your tracks wander aimlessly from the fence to the cattle to the woods and back again,” his uncle said. “And see how my tracks aim directly to my goal. There is an important lesson in that.”

Years later the world-famous architect liked to tell how this experience had greatly contributed to his philosophy in life. “I determined right then,” he’d say with a twinkle in his eye, “not to miss most things in life, as my uncle had.”

Many people often miss the most important things in life because they fail at this essential skill as a leader- work/life balance. It’s a struggle for many leaders. Could it be yours?

In research conducted by EY (http://bit.ly/1QjTJZ8) it was reported that, “33% of full-time employees globally say it has gotten more difficult to manage work/family in the last five years. The most common reasons cited 49% “my salary has not increased much, but my expenses have” and 48% “my responsibilities at work have increased.” Sound familiar?

Having a good work/life balance is essential to your success. As a leader you are not immune from the challenge. In fact, it may be more problematic for you. So what is the solution? Here are a few tips to help you recapture some of that much needed balance.

Begin with your priorities

Almost every article I read on work/life balance begins with work. It goes without saying that work is important. But how would things be different for you if you looked at it from the viewpoint of a life/work balance? If the priorities of your life are not in order then how can work? Get life’s priorities in order first then you can take care of the rest.

Discover your ‘why’

I’m a firm believer that you should do what you love and love what you do. When you do, it’s not work but your passion. Understanding your ‘why’ is essential to you as a leader. John Maxwell framed it this way, “People who know their why can keep their heads while everything around them is in turmoil. And that draws others to them.” Life and work makes sense when you know why you are here.

Get flexible with schedules

Fortunately, many companies are seeing the benefit of flexible work schedules which allows for greater productivity, greater teamwork, and happier employees, etc. (http://huff.to/1SxzdV1). Creating a work/life balance does not have to be an either/or proposition where one is good and the other is not. Smart leaders can create a culture where both can thrive.

Define your borders

As a leader many things compete for your time and attention. If not careful you can get caught up in solving problems that are not yours to solve, involved in details that easily can be handled by someone else, and otherwise distracted from having the work/life balance you desire. This is an area in which you will need to stand firm. Define your borders and stick to it.

Get real about relationships

People are your greatest appreciable asset. Building strong relationships is the key to your growth as a leader and to the success of your organization. But surrounding yourself with the right people is more important than surrounding yourself with a lot of people. So here are some questions you need to answer: Are those closest to you adding value or subtracting? Do those closest to you share your vision and values and see the big picture or are they in it for themselves? Relationships are key to your work/life balance. If you are surrounded by the wrong people then it’s time to prune.

Lighten up

Ella Wheeler said, “Laugh, and the world laughs with you; weep, and you weep alone”. Creating a good work/life balance can be just one laugh away. It’s important to take your work seriously, but not yourself. Laugh. Lighten up. Learn to take things in stride. Don’t be wound up so tight that you can’t enjoy a light moment now and then.

Your work/life balance begins with these simple steps. Are you ready for some balance in your life?

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Cracked Mirrors: Embracing Your Humanity as a Leader

Posted October 2, 2015
by admin

“Out flew the web and floated wide; The mirror crack’d from side to side; ‘The curse is come upon me,’ cried The Lady of Shalott.” (From “The Lady of Shalott” by Alfred Lord Tennyson)

We all enjoy reading the stories of the likes of Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, and others who in spite of their setbacks and failures overcame their obstacles. The names and their accomplishments are too numerous to mention in this space. Suffice to say, all such stories are inspiring and serve as a source of encouragement and how that no amount adversity can overtake us if we persevere.

But I’d like to address a more personal issue as it pertains to our leadership. We are familiar with the personal characteristics of leadership that we strive for such as integrity, loyalty, trust, etc. But how do we reconcile our desire to live up to these virtues of leadership while embracing our humanity at the same time?

John Maxwell said, “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” And this is the challenge of personal leadership. The question is not whether we will fail, have errors in judgment, offend people, or otherwise not live up to our best as a leader. In short- we’re human. So here are a few tips going forward as you look at that cracked mirror of leadership.

Embrace your humanity

By embracing your humanity you are acknowledging that you are not perfect. As such you are also acknowledging that you are vulnerable and susceptible to shortcomings like anyone else. But this is not meant to be an “out” for bad behavior. As such you should have safeguards in place and surround yourself with trusted confidants to hold you accountable.

Be quick to forgive

Hang around in leadership long enough and you will come to know the value of forgiveness. As a leader you know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of criticism- fair or not. Life is just too short to hold grudges. In as much as you should forgive others their faults, be sure along the way to forgive yourself for the times you have blown it. And don’t be afraid to ask for it. When I understand the depth of forgiveness I need as a leader it’s much easier for me to look upon others through the lens of grace.

Keep the bar set high

That we as leaders may have come up short at times is no reason to lower the bar of excellence. Character still matters and striving to be better should be foremost in our endeavors. Don’t allow past mistakes to knock you off course. Don’t allow past failures to define you. Keep the bar set high and when you fall short don’t be discouraged. Your mistakes will overtake you only when you give up.

Walk humbly

Some might argue that walking humbly as a leader does not fit into the modern definition or understanding of leadership. Walking humbly is not abdicating your authority as a leader or otherwise exerting weakness. If anything, it’s the opposite.

Rick Warren said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” Walking humbly is living each day with an awareness of my humanity with the understanding of my dependence upon my faith to form me and my friends to complete me. It’s lived out when I realize the leader I want to be tomorrow is being shaped by my actions today. Do we fall short? Yes. But what we see in the cracked mirror is more bearable when we face the truth.

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A Grass Hut, a Firetruck, and Cigarettes – The Day I Quit Smoking Cold Turkey

Posted August 11, 2015
by admin

We do not remember days, we remember moments. – Cesare Pavese

It was in the early 1970’s and I was in my early teens. On a hot summer day a friend and I walked up to the local 7 Eleven to buy some cigarettes. I know, I know– but back in that day it was not illegal to buy or sell them.

We were out in the big field behind our homes sitting in a grass hut we had made enjoying the Marlboro’s- when suddenly I felt a swift foot in my back. I turned in time to see flames engulfing the hot dry hut we had built. I got out just in time.

Our futile efforts to stomp out the fire led us to make the only logical decision we could make in our moment of desperation – run!

My friend ran one way, I another. It was not part of any strategic plan- it’s just the way it happened. As I ran with all my might I recall seeing the blur that was my house. I kept running. The local fire station that sat next to the 7 Eleven responded with one of their trucks. Our paths crossed briefly as the truck rolled past me. Fortunately, the fire was contained and no injury to property or life ensued.

Life experiences have a way of helping us put leadership lessons in perspective. Here are my three takeaway from the day I quit smoking cold turkey.

With the right motivation you can do anything!

My motivation to stop smoking was brought about not by a fancy ad campaign or regulations that came in later years. It was much more personal. If the motivation is right you can do anything you set your heart and mind to. You can achieve any goal or dream you desire if you don’t give up. You just have to find that tipping point and the right motivation.

If you play with fire you can get burned

The matches and cigarettes on a hot summer day were the perfect ingredients for disaster. As leaders; often it’s the little things that trip us up. Little things like attitude that will make you or break you. It’s the way you relate to and treat people that make a difference. If you are a jerk – you are playing with fire and eventually you’ll get burned.

Not everyone who kicks you in your backside is your enemy

As I sat in that grass hut oblivious to the danger around me, it was a hard kick in the back that got me out in time. Your growth as a leader is up to you. Not everyone who slaps you on the back is necessarily your friend and not everyone who kicks you in the back is your enemy. As you grow as a leader you will learn to figure it out.

In hindsight, I’m glad I quit smoking cold turkey.

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Charleston Strong Leadership

Posted June 24, 2015
by admin

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die; and a time to pluck what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal. – Ecclesiastes 3:1-3

Where were you when you first heard the news of the shooting at Mother Emanuel AME Church in Charleston? It’s the question we ask during such life-changing events. It’s a defining question we ask whereby we put our response into context. It’s how we frame our feelings and try and make sense of the senseless.

On Wednesday, June 17^th, 2015, nine of Charleston’s finest God-fearing citizens were gathered in their house of worship. Where they were was by choice. What happened to them was not. Slowly, as the news unfolded before our eyes – the depth, breadth, and severity of the tragedy shocked all of us to the core. How can this be? How can something like this happen here in Charleston?

In the aftermath of the shooting, several things became apparent to those of us who have been blessed to call the Lowcountry home. Living here over the past thirty years I have seen the resilience of the people in trying times before, i.e. Hurricane Hugo. But what happened this past week was different and for different reasons. Here are a few takeaways from my slant as a leadership writer.

Great leaders solicit the best from their people

Albert Einstein said, “Adversity introduces a man to himself.” During these trying days we have not only been introduced to ourselves but we have introduced ourselves to a watching world. And that introduction has caught the attention of the world in a way that has made us all proud. Our leaders stepped up, spoke up, and showed the world what makes us so special.

In the aftermath of the shooting, the leaders of our community such as Mayor Joe Riley, Chief of Police Greg Mullen, Governor Nicki Haley, our clergy and various civic leaders- they called forth the best of the community. Their leadership was calm, tempered, professional, and impressive. They called forth the best from our community and the community responded in a powerful way.

Great people responded with grace

Last Friday I went to Mother Emmanuel AME Church to pray. There I met new friends, Gideon and Ashley who had just moved to Charleston a few months ago from Florida. That they were black and I white, made no difference. We joined hands in the sweltering heat and prayed for our city. It was a way for us to reconcile what we were feeling and do what we felt could make a difference.

The same day across town in a courtroom, family members of one of the victims spoke words of forgiveness and grace to the one who took away what was most precious to them. It was a defining moment in which the curtain into the heart and soul of our community was peeled back and the world got to see what was inside.

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Everybody can be great…because anybody can serve. You don’t have to have a college degree to serve. You don’t have to make your subjects and verbs agree to serve. You only need a heart full of grace. A soul generated by love.”

Our community has displayed a heart full of grace and love. It’s been on display everyday outside Mother Emmanuel, in the courtroom, in the TD Arena, and in countless other houses of worship since. We came by the thousands in unity to span the Arthur Ravenel Bridge in solidarity and prayer in remembrance of the nine. In our time of tragedy, evil, and grief, great people stepped up and the greater Charleston community demonstrated uncommon grace.

Great opportunities come from great tragedy

The tragedy at Mother Emmanuel AME was not of our choosing, but how we move forward is. Our grieving process takes on many forms from tears, anger, and many unanswered questions. But in the end, it must serve a higher purpose.

If the measure of our response is proportional to the measure of our grief and sorrow, then I have no doubt that out of our great sorrow will come much good.

In closing, let the names of the victims spur us to not be overcome by evil, but to overcome evil with good: The Honorable Rev. Clementa Pinckney, Cynthia Hurd, Susie Jackson, Ethel Lance, Rev. DePayne Middleton-Doctor, Tywanza Sanders, Rev. Daniel Simmons, Sr., Rev. Sharonda Singleton, and Myra Thompson.

We are Charleston, and we will forever be, Charleston Strong!

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