LeadershipLessons – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Success in life comes not from holding a good hand, but in playing a poor hand well. – Warren G. Lester

When it comes to the painful experiences of life, I’ve never seen anyone volunteering or signing up to go through a painful experience. Have you?

But all of us have either been touched by a painful life experience or know someone who has. Life brings the sting of pain, such as (and many more):

The pain of a divorce
The pain of the death of a friend or loved one
The pain of a lost job
The pain of financial hardships
The pain of poor health
The pain change
The pain of caring for aging parents
The pain of depression

Life is full of painful experiences. And sooner or later, we all deal with those painful events. As a leader, you are not exempt.

I will never forget the painful event of losing my mother at the height of the COVID pandemic (but not due to COVID). It was one of the most painful life experiences that I had to deal with. She lived out of state and traveling back and forth was a challenge as well as being around her.

To make matters worse, when she did pass away, we were unable to have a funeral for her as it was at the height of the pandemic and social distancing protocols simply prevented it. Not being able to have her many friends and family gather to celebrate her life was painful and disappointing.

Virginia Satir said, “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.” And this is especially true in the way you deal with painful life experiences as well as in your leadership.

I’m a firm believer that life experiences – especially the bad ones, are teachers or guides that help us become better. How can we make sure that the experiences of life make us better and not bitter? Here are a few tips from a fellow friend on the journey with you.

Acknowledge your pain

As a leader, you are not exempt from painful life experiences. We are all touched by them. By acknowledging your pain you are simply stating the obvious that you are human like everyone else and you are not exempt from the pains and sorrows of life.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a vulnerable leader.

Embrace your pain

The painful experiences of life are not meant to be bottled up. Life’s pains and traumas don’t go away by themselves. They won’t go away by ignoring them. On your leadership journey, you will deal with your own personal points of pain as well as share in the painful life events of those around you. The sooner you acknowledge and address your pain the sooner you will move to a place of healing.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a compassionate leader.

Adjust to your pain

What I am not advocating here is a surrender to the inevitability of continuous painful life experiences. Realistically, they are seasons we go through. I am, however, advocating for you to choose how you will face those experiences and the attitude by which you deal with them.

We don’t always choose the experiences that we face in life, but we do choose our attitudes toward them. And to be sure, sometimes it’s not the size of the problem or the depth of the pain, but its duration that wears us down. Making the right adjustments – especially with regard to your attitude will allow you to navigate them with a clear mind and heart.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a resilient leader.

Emerge from your pain

Painful life experiences, while difficult and challenging at the time, in due time do pass. And to be sure, the pain is real, the scars hurt, and memories of what was will linger with us. But you can emerge from that season stronger and healthier in the end.

Max Lucado said, “A season of suffering is a small assignment when compared to the reward. Rather than begrudge your problem, explore it. Ponder it. And most of all, use it. Use it to the glory of God.” And this is the goal when emerging from life’s painful events.

Leadership Lesson: Pain shapes you to be a victorious leader.

Final Thoughts

I don’t know the season you face in your leadership right now. But I do believe that the pain you are walking through right now is going to serve a greater purpose in the end when you use it for the glory of God.

Please be sure to visit and subscribe to my YouTube Channel for more leadership content. Click here to visit my YouTube page.

Resources: Books I’d like to recommend to you as a supplement to this new column.

All of these books can be ordered from Amazon.

Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move on, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again By Lysa TerKeust

2. Out of the Cave: Stepping Into the Light When Depression Darkens What You See by Chris Hodges

3. Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life by Craig Groeschel

4. Anxious For Nothing: Finding Calm in Chaos by Max Lucado

Please follow and like us:

Every time you reinforce the culture, you reinforce the fabric of the company. – Arthur M. Blank

How’s the culture in your organization? The question is not meant to be a subjective one based upon your preconceived ideas of what you think it ought to be or how you see it. That focus is too narrow. The answer is and must be more inclusive and broad.

Your role as a manager and leader within your organization is critical to the culture in it. A study by Gallup reports that 70% of the variance in team management can be traced back to their managers behavior. In addition, only four in ten U.S. employees strongly agree that they get to do what they do best at work. Over half are actively looking for a new job or are open to one- and when they do land a new role, 91% of the time it’s with a new company. So, again, how is the culture in your organization?

How we as leaders cultivate culture within our organizations is an ever-present challenge and opportunity. A hands-off approach to building culture will not work no more than an overbearing presence can boost morale. Is there a better way?

I was intrigued as I read a review in Inc., of the forthcoming book Good Company by Home Depot co-founder Arthur M. Blank. I won’t give away all the details of the review, but I will share what he identifies as the most important question you can ask your employees: Is this organization worth your life? If the answer is yes, Blank explains, “it’s an indication that the company’s culture is thriving, and that it’s employees feel confident in making the best decisions for both the customers and the company.”

How can you reinforce the culture in your organization? What are some practical , even small things, that can make a difference? Here are a few ideas for starters.

Focus on ‘we’, not ‘me’

It takes a group of dedicated individuals who are willing to set aside personal agendas to advance the team. As Babe Ruth said, “ The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You can have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, the club won’t be worth a dime.” Hire the best talent you can find, but instill the concept of teamwork from the beginning. Click To Tweet

Play to strengths

It’s already been alluded to, but your people will thrive best when they do what they love. There’s a fine line between cross training and cross contamination. Your people will thrive when they are free to do what they do best. When this happens you won’t have to manufacture a healthy culture and morale, it will take care of itself.

Prioritize relationships

Healthy relationships are the backbone of your employee relations. Your employees are the face of your organization and create the bond with your customers. If relationships are weak then the links to the most important people you serve will be strained. Every part of your cultural and customer experience will rise and fall on relationships.

Clarify values

Your values must be clear to your people. They can’t have buy-in to your organization without it. Roy Disney put it this way, “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes much easier”. Your people must know the ‘why’ of their work and why it matters to the marketplace. If your people are confused then so are the people you are trying to serve. Click To Tweet

Have each other’s backs

Loyalty within your organization goes a long way in building culture. When you have the backs of your people and stand by them, they will not soon forget. It’s an essential part of your leadership that will see you through the good times and bad. No organization is immune from adversity, but every organization can endure it when the people in it have each other’s backs and stand united.

Final Thoughts

Cultivating culture in your organization is a process. It takes time and commitment from all those in it. Acting in good faith and with open communication are essential to your success. What the culture in your organization looks like all depends on the level of commitment of the people in it. It all starts with you.

Preorder your copy on Amazon

Please follow and like us:

Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Tag: LeadershipLessons

How Pain Shapes You As a Leader

Cultivating Culture