Taming Your Inner Cynic

cynic

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a carpenter to build one. – Sam Rayburn

The story is told of a judge who had been frequently ridiculed by a conceited lawyer. When asked by a friend why he didn’t rebuke his assailant, he replied, “In our town lives a widow who has a dog. And whenever the moon shines, it goes outside and barks all night.” Having said that, the magistrate shifted the conversation to another subject. Finally someone asked, “But Judge, what about the dog and the moon?” “Oh,” he replied, “the moon went on shining–that’s all.”

One of the dangers you face as a leader is in developing a cynical attitude. You try your best as a leader to keep a strong positive attitude; after all, you are the one setting the example for others. But we all know that the mental, physical, and emotional toll of being a leader can get to the best among us at times.

Symptoms of cynicism are obvious- if not to you, then to others around you. A cynical leader thinks worse-case scenarios, has an outlook that is more negative, and is too quick to notice the flaws in other people. He tends to second guess peoples motives and is increasingly insecure. This type of behavior can be viewed as “out of character” by those who know you best and are signs that cynicism has taken root.

Taming your inner cynic can be challenging. There are just some days and some people who will take you to your limit. I get it.  So what is a leader to do? Here are five suggestions to help you come back to the bright side.

Choose to be thankful

Instead of being quick to complain about how bad things are why not choose a thankful attitude instead? When you shift your focus to all of the good in your life then your attitude will begin to change. It becomes harder to be negative with a thankful heart.

Choose to be quiet

Cynical people tend to not only be negative but often time very vocal. Instead of saying the first negative thing that comes to mind why not just pause; take a deep breath, and keep that thought to yourself. You never have to apologize for the words you don’t say.

Choose to listen

Cynical people can be that way because they are formulating thoughts, opinions, and attitudes often with incomplete information. A good idea for you as a leader is to listen to your people and gather facts before you speak or make a decision.

Choose to take some down time

There is an old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” that should be taken to heart. I’m convinced that most cynicism in leaders is attributed to this thought.  It is important for all leaders to have quality down time to re-charge and re-connect– to rest and be restored mentally and physically. Leaders need rest.

Choose to make a difference

The attitude at the top of the organization tends to be the one throughout the organization. As a leader you carry that responsibility. The daily choices you make are critical not only for your well-being but for those you lead.

No leader is immune from stress and each battles the temptation to be cynical at times. But know this: cynicism is a choice and is a reflection upon your leadership style. The discipline of a good attitude over being cynical is winnable. The outcome rests in your daily choices.

In closing, let me leave you with some inspiration from the Anyway poem attributed to Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

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What Five Top Leaders Teach us About Mistakes

mistakes

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. – George Bernard Shaw

Fred Rogers shared a story about a young apprentice who applied to a master carpenter for a job. The older man asked him, “Do you know your trade?” “Yes sir!” the young man replied proudly.

“Have you ever made a mistake?” the older man inquired. “No sir!” the young man answered, feeling certain he would get the job. “Then there’s no way I’m going to hire you,” said the master carpenter, “because when you make one, you won’t know how to fix it.”

Mistakes are as much a part of our lives in leadership as any success. This is so because on the journey to success we make many mistakes. It’s all a part of the learning and the journey. I know I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and then some, how about you?

Churchill wisely observed, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” In the end, it’s not that you will make mistakes or have failures, but it’s all about your response and what you learn when you experience them.

From some of the top thinkers in leadership come words of advice and wisdom to help you put your mistakes in perspective. Here are my five favorites.

John Wooden – “If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”

Wooden’s take on mistakes should encourage all of us. Mistakes are made by “doers” who dare to take risks and accomplish their goals and dreams. Mistakes will not come to the person sitting on the sidelines and who is otherwise disengaged from the race. Setbacks and failures are made by doers like Edison, Ford, Disney, Spielberg, and you. Get in the game, get your hands dirty, and get a few mistakes under your belt. The sooner you do the sooner you will enjoy success.

Steve Jobs – “Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations.”

Steve Jobs characterizes people who make mistakes as “innovators”. Perhaps you’ve never thought of it this way before, but it’s a great perspective. Innovators are those tenacious people who never give up. Regardless of the ridicule, adversity, or circumstances, these innovators will gladly welcome the challenges that come with making mistakes. Your mistakes can either be your fuel and fire, or a bucket of water dashed upon your dreams. When you make mistakes- innovate!

Dale Carnegie – “The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.”

What Carnegie is saying here is that no mistake, setback, or failure is ever in vain if you approach it with the right attitude and learn from it. Essential here is the learning. If you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again you haven’t learned from it. Profiting from your mistakes is when you figure out why the mistake happened and turning that negative experience into a positive one. Your success as a leader is connected to what you learn and applying the lesson.

Les Brown – “Forgive yourself for your faults and mistakes and move on.”

This is such good advice. We’ve all made our fair share of mistakes. But what good would any of us be as leaders if all we did was beat ourselves up because of our mistakes? Success will come to the leader who, after making a mistake, forgives himself/herself and moves on with a renewed purpose and determination to succeed. Don’t wallow in your mistakes, cut yourself some slack, and get moving.

John Maxwell – “The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.”

This is such a powerful truth that all success-minded leaders should embrace. None of us will achieve any level of success without making mistakes, experiencing setbacks, and feeling the sting of failures. But living in a constant state of fear of making a mistake will only impede you from being in the game and trying. Don’t let the fear of failure paralyze you from being fully engaged and ready to compete, and ready to win.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

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Why Do The Good Ones Leave?

quit

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more,  you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams

How is the organizational culture where you work? How is morale? Depending on the day and when asked, the answers can run the gambit of responses and emotions.

A document was discovered in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852. Here are a few of the notices that were posted for a group of employees: 1) This firm has reduced the hours of work, and clerical staff will only have to be present between the hours of 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. weekdays, 2) Now that the hours of business have been drastically reduced, the partaking of food is allowed between 11:30 and noon, but work will not on any account cease, 3) No talking is allowed during business hours, and 4) The craving for tobacco, wine, or spirits is a human weakness, and as such is forbidden to all members of the clerical staff.

Would you like to reconsider your answer about morale in your organization now?

Here’s what we do know from polling and surveys, like this one from Gallup (http://bit.ly/1uUCjpX) that reports employees are just not as engaged as they once were.

It’s been said that people don’t quit organizations, they quit leaders. It’s a sad but true commentary on the lack of leadership skills that are so desperately needed in the workplace.

There are consequences to poor leadership and where it’s not present, people will leave to find it. Inevitably it’s the good employees who leave. Left behind is a weakened and demoralized team forced to pick up the pieces.

But why do the good ones leave? What is the tipping point in which a good employee will cash in the chips and bolt? The specifics vary, of course, but typically the good ones leave for these reasons.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no backbone

This type of leader plays to the crowd and will say whatever he or she thinks you want to hear. The good ones had rather hear the uncomfortable truth than the pleasant sounds of an appeaser. The good ones want a leader who is not afraid to make the difficult decisions.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no vision

The good ones long for and thrive in an environment where the leader has a vision for the future, can articulate it, and sets a course of action that will take them there. The good ones understand that without a clear vision for the future there is no future to be had by staying.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no skin in the game

It will be hard to command the respect of your people if you have no skin in the game as it relates to your organization and its mission. You can’t expect a buy-in from your people if you are not fully invested yourself. The good ones seek to be with leaders who are as passionately invested as they are.

The good ones leave because of leaders who place limits on their potential

The good ones will thrive in a culture of excellence where their hard work and talents are put to best use. The good ones will not sit idly by while the leader plays politics or favorites and be denied the opportunity to advance professionally.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no accountability

The good ones fundamentally understand that accountability and transparency are the cornerstones of success. When a leader no longer feels the need to be transparent or be accountable for his or her actions, then the good ones will not stay. Trust is like glue for the leader, is there is none, people won’t stick.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no boundaries

Ultimately, the leader is responsible for the culture of the organization. If proper boundaries are not being observed and inappropriate behaviors are being tolerated- such as bullying, then the good ones will not stay in that environment.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no integrity

At the end of the day it all comes down to the integrity of the leader. The good ones want their leader to be a person of integrity and one they can trust. If integrity is lacking in the leader then integrity will be lacking in the culture. The good ones will leave to avoid the connection.

Many personal factors contribute to the reasons why the good ones tend to leave and move on. I’ve discovered that it’s not always for the money or a promotion. The good ones understand the wisdom of the words of John Maxwell who once said, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” That’s why the good ones leave- to be with good leaders.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

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Random Acts of Leadership

leadership

Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and actions. – Harold S. Geneen

In his book, Everyday a Friday, Joel Osteen shares a story about a letter he received in the mail one day during his early days of pastoring. It was during a period of time when he was filled with much self-doubt. The letter was from John Maxwell.

Although at the time they had never met, the letter was filled with words of encouragement and hope. “I watched you on television on Sunday and you were outstanding. I’ve got to tell you, you’ve got what it takes,” Maxwell told him. He also shared suggestions and advice on how to be less nervous and how he prepares for when he speaks.

Regarding the letter, Osteen said, “He had forty years of experience, and he was voluntarily pouring it into a man he’d never even met before. He didn’t have to do that. He’d already won. But John understands this principle: True success is when you reach back and bring somebody along with you.”

That John Maxwell didn’t have to write that letter is a given, that he did write that letter speaks to the power of random acts of leadership.

It’s been said that the soft skills of leadership are the hardest. That may be true. Leaders shoulder a great responsibility and results are important. But it’s as leaders understand that unless you get the soft skills right it will always impede your growth and the productivity of your team.

Striking the right balance in your relational skill set is important. You want and expect your team to be productive without sacrificing the relational skills that create the culture you work and thrive in.

Random acts of leadership follows the principle of random acts of kindness. It’s a leadership philosophy that that revolves around the idea that we are all in this together and when we care for one another we all win.

What does random acts of leadership look like? I submit to you that it’s not complicated. Here are a few ways you can show it.

Give unconditionally

The letter John Maxwell sent to Joel Osteen is a classic example of giving unconditionally. It was unsolicited with no expectation of anything in return. It was just an act of generosity that made a difference. Giving unconditionally is a random act of leadership that says, “I get it. I see your struggle, I’ve been there. I believe in you.” And then you act on it.

Listen attentively

Now and then people just need to vent. They may not need you to be their “answer man” but rather just to listen. For all of its rewards, leadership can be lonely and having a confidant to go to can make a world of difference. Your random act of leadership can simply be taking a friend to lunch and being a sounding board.

Connect intentionally

It is incumbent upon you as a leader to connect with your people. Don’t wait for them to take the first steps – you do it. A good leader initiates.  Whether you have been brought together with your people by choice or by coincidence, take the first steps to building the relationship. Connecting intentionally is a random act of leadership that seeks to know, relate, and broaden the circle of influence for everyone.

Praise generously

Nothing can demoralize your people any quicker than work gone unnoticed or a team member not appreciated for their efforts. Understand this: People are your most appreciable asset and how they are treated matters. Random acts of leadership –showing appreciation for a job well done, will go a long way in building that person up and boosting morale in your organization. Be generous in praising your people.

These are but a few of the random acts of leadership that will make a difference. What would you add to the list?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

 

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Becoming a Better Team Player

Team_Rowing_Hard

If a team is to reach its potential, each player must be willing to subordinate his personal goals to the good of the team. – Bud Wilkinson

To highlight its annual picnic one year, a company rented two racing shells and challenged a rival company to a boat race. The rival company accepted. On the day of the picnic, everyone entered into the spirit of the event. Women wore colorful summer dresses and big, floppy hats. Men wore straw skimmers and white pants. Bands played and banners waved. Finally the race began.

To the consternation of the host company, the rival team immediately moved to the front and was never headed. It won by 11 lengths. The management of the host company was embarrassed by its showing and promptly appointed a committee to place responsibility for the failure and make recommendations to improve the host team’s chances in a rematch the following year. The committee appointed several task forces to study various aspects of the race. They met for three months and issued a preliminary report. In essence, the report said that the rival crew had been unfair.

“They had eight people rowing and one coxswain steering and shouting out the beat,” the report said. “We had one person rowing and eight coxswains.” The chairman of the board thanked the committee and sent it away to study the matter further and make recommendations for the rematch. Four months later the committee came back with a recommendation: “Our guy has to row faster.”

We hear much today about teamwork and intuitively we understand its importance. Unfortunately, too many want to sit in the boat and shout out instructions and too few want to row.

Becoming a better team player is an evolving process. It requires continual work and evaluation. Perhaps a few questions are in order to help you gauge your effectiveness as a team player in your organization. Here are a few for starters.

Is my niche still a fit?

Every team player has a niche as it relates to his or her role on the team. It’s important to know what it is. It’s even more important as time goes on to make sure that your growth and the growth of your organization are in harmony. If the team has outgrown you, or you have outgrown the team, then adjustments need to be made.

Do I still have the right motives?

Effective team players think “we” over “me”. If that has changed or you’ve succumbed to playing politics to get your way then perhaps you are not the team player you once were. Team players at heart are selfless and are willing to set aside their personal agendas for the good of the team.

Am I supportive of my teammates?

A good team player doesn’t allow petty jealousies to take root and can celebrate the accomplishments of fellow teammates. Why? Because when one succeeds the team succeeds. Being a good team player is about being a good sport. When you are willing to share the spotlight eventually it will shine on you.

Am I still coachable?

The most difficult player on any sports team is the one who thinks he knows it all and can’t be coached. This type of attitude is drain on the rest of the team. When a team member goes rogue it creates a vacuum that other team members have to step up and fill. So be honest; are you still coachable? A smart leader knows there is still more to learn and a wise leader is humble enough to acknowledge it.

Am I still passionate?

A good team player is passionate about the mission and vision of the organization. Do you still have that ‘fire in the belly” that inspires you to be your best, give your best, and bring out the best in your teammates? That type of passion is what championship teams are made of and is what will see you through adversity and lead you to victory.

Baseball great babe Ruth said, “The way the team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, the club won’t be worth a dime.” That is the secret to the success of your team and it’s the secret to your success as a team player. As you commit yourself to your teammates the possibilities of great success can’t be overstated.

Becoming a better team player is about intentionally looking inward from time to time and making adjustments where needed.

Are you a team player?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

 

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Three Difficulties Every Leader Should Embrace

hard

When we long for life without difficulties remind us that oaks grow in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure. – Peter Marshall

An old woodsman gives this advice for catching a porcupine: “Watch for the slapping tail as you dash in and drop a large washboard over him. The washboard will give you something to sit on as you ponder your next move.”

As a leader dealing with difficulties is not a new phenomenon to you. Workplaces are an ever present source of stress in people’s lives. The American Institute of Stress (http://bit.ly/1i5E7Zs) identified workload as the number one cause of stress by employees followed by people issues, juggling work and personal issues, and lack of job security.

Because you are surrounded by so many people who are stressed it’s important to keep your leadership skills sharp. Difficulties will come to you as a leader. But here are three you should always welcome because in doing so you will be a stronger and more effective leader.

The difficulty of personal growth

You have to take ownership of your personal growth as a leader. Your effectiveness in leading your team hinges on your ability to lead yourself. It’s all too easy to put personal growth on the back-burner; after all, we are stressed ourselves. We have meetings to attend, clients to meet, personnel issues to resolve, deadlines that are looming, and the list goes on.

But no amount of busyness will ever replace your need for a personal growth plan. How can you grow leaders around you if there is no growth in you? Regardless of how busy your life is you need to find the time to read, join a mastermind group, attend workshops, listen to audio CD’s during your morning commute, etc. Conquering the difficulty of personal growth can be a challenge but it’s a non-negotiable if you want to be effective.

The difficulty of forward thinking

The bedrock principles of leadership such as trust, loyalty, ethics, values, communication, etc. are your foundations. They are the principles you stand upon that keep you grounded as a leader. They are timeless. But your effectiveness as a leader also rests with your ability to adapt to your present circumstances with forward thinking.

This can be difficult for a leader because it’s all too easy and much too predictable to stay in our comfort zones. But the comfort zones of yesterday will not always serve you well tomorrow. The challenges are new and different. Business is not just local; it’s global, and the way we communicate is ever evolving. Forward thinking combined with timeless values can position you for the future and the challenges you face. Let your values be your guide but keep an open mind.

The difficulty of building community

Building community is an emotional investment and challenge that many leaders are just not up for. It can be a thankless job. It’s difficult. I get it. But your success as a leader and the successes of your organization are directly tied to a strong sense of community and relationships. And it begins at the top.

John Maxwell says, “Don’t ever underestimate the importance of building relational bridges between yourself and the people you lead. There’s an old saying: To lead yourself, use your head; to lead others, use your heart. Always touch a person’s heart before you ask him for a hand.” When you embrace what is difficult about building relationships it will revolutionize your leadership and your results.

The simple truth is this: people are your most appreciable asset. People are more important than your brick and mortar, product or location. When you get community and relationships right then everything else will fall into place.

Being a leader is not always easy but it’s very rewarding when you embrace what’s difficult. When you do it changes everything.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

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Take Your Leader Down From The Pedestal

Holding Up Person On Pedestal

Contrary to what you may think, good executives don’t want to be worshipped. – Howard Behar

Everyone has leaders they respect and admire. I know I do. Along my journey I’ve been privileged to meet some rather interesting people. Included on the list are four U.S. Presidents and other political figures, famous athletes, actors, musicians, and authors. Some had large egos while others came across as more grounded and down to earth. While the trajectory of each person’s career path took them to differing places of fame and work they each embraced their talents and made the most of it.

Within your business or organization are leaders who are striving to make a difference. Some may be succeeding on a grand scale while others are struggling to find their way. So what can you do to help your leader, and yourself, in the process? One of the first things I’d suggest you do is this: take your leader down his or her pedestal. Here’s why.

It’s all about perspective. Let’s examine this from your leader’s perspective. If you are worshipping your leader then he or she has two primary concerns they wrestle with, (1) your motives and (2) your loyalty. If you are worshipping your leader and are always kissing-up to them they will always wonder why. In addition, they tie your loyalty to their tenure and not much more.

Now let’s examine things from a different perspective and look inward. So long as you keep your leader on a pedestal you will have two primary conflicts to wrestle with, (1) freely speaking the truth out of fear of repercussion, and (2) the appearance of misplaced priorities. Each struggle has ramifications and if they are holding you back then your pedestal is your greatest obstacle moving forward.

When you take your leader(s) down from the pedestal it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Here’s how you can do it and why it matters.

Embrace their humanity

What most leaders want you to know is that they are surprisingly human. They have the same struggles, concerns, hopes and dreams as everyone else in the office. Just like you, your leader is not perfect and makes mistakes. Instead of being overly critical perhaps you can be a little more forgiving. So long as you idolize your leader because of their position and not as a person then you fail to see what is most important to them. At the end of the day they’d rather not be above you, they would prefer to be beside you.

Welcome authenticity

Once you take your leader(s) down from the pedestal then authenticity and transparency can begin. So long as you look at your leader through rose-colored glasses then it’s hard to move forward in a meaningful way. Open and honest working relationships include the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s a natural by-product of being human. What makes you an adult is the way you work through the difficult times and come out on the other side with something to celebrate. An authentic leader will respect you more if you idolize them less.

Build community

Once you embrace the humanity of your leader(s) and welcome authenticity then building community is the reward. Most leaders want to build a team of committed and like-minded people who share the same vision and will work passionately to get there. So long as your leader is on a pedestal being idolized, or in a worse-case scenario – feared, then community will suffer. Your collective strengths and weaknesses form a powerful combination of all the skills you need to do great things. But it won’t happen until shoulder to shoulder you are working together in community as a team.

Taking your leader down from the pedestal is not about abolishing lines of authority or diminishing your respect. Ultimately, it’s about how to move out of an “idol” status with your leader to something more beneficial.

What do you say?

 

©2015 Doug Dickerson

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10 Value Statements Every Leader Needs To Know

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. – Albert Einstein

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As a leader, adding value to those around you should be of paramount importance. After all, people are your most appreciable asset. How well are you showing appreciation to the people in your organization?

In a Ragan.com (http://bit.ly/18VETIk) article a survey revealed that 69% of employees would work harder if management better recognized their work. How different would your organization look if 69% of your people were gladly putting forth more effort? By contrast, sixty- three percent of those who don’t feel appreciated plan to leave their jobs within two years. Based upon the way you show appreciation to your people would you expect a high turnover in the next two years?

When the truth about adding value of your people takes root in your heart and mind it will transform your leadership style. Adding value to those you lead takes on many forms. But there’s no easier way to do so than by the words you use to communicate with them. Try these (no particular order) for starters. Use them generously and see the difference it makes.

“We appreciate you”

This value statement speaks directly to your team member as a person. It’s not based on their specific job skill, position, or tenure. It’s simply about them as a person. Relationship building is at the heart of this value statement and it builds the foundation for moving forward.

“You’re making a difference”

This value statement is attached to the contributions your people make. These value statements belong to every person in your organization – from the CEO to the cleaning crew because everyone is important.

“How can I serve you?”

This value statement is an acknowledgement that you rely on your people to make your business work and as a leader you are committed to their success. When your people hear and see that you are 100% invested in them they will react in similar fashion. It creates a win-win scenario for the whole organization.

“Thank you”

These two words add value to your team members because it’s seen as an acknowledgement that you’ve recognized their hard work and dedication in moving the team forward. It’s perhaps the single most powerful value statement you will ever make.

“Let’s work together on this”

This value statement is based upon the notion that we can accomplish more together as a team than we can by ourselves. It’s when we bring our individual skills and talents to the table in mutual collaboration that our productivity can skyrocket. It’s also a reflection of your desire to be involved in the process of reaching those common goals.

“Let’s hear all sides”

This value statement is based on the belief that everyone has a voice that needs to be heard. Keeping your people apart is what hinders growth, fuels mistrust, and creates unhealthy alliances. You add value when you build bridges among your people. Healthy debate sparks creativity and often produces better solutions. It’s about tackling problems, not each other.

“Look at what you did”

Celebrating the successes of your organization and your people is important. You add value to them when you give credit where credit is due. Honor and reward the work of your team and don’t steal their spotlight.

“Go home”

You add value to your people when you give them time to be with the people they value most – their families. Never attempt to build your organization off the backs of your people by insisting they give up family time for company time.

“Here’s where we are going”

This statement is important because it affirms to your people their value in moving forward with the mission and vision of the organization. By keeping the vision before them they begin to see the value they contribute and the service they render as something meaningful that they can take pride in.

“Our team would not be complete without you”

Quite frankly, it’s hard to overstate the importance of people being the most appreciable asset in your organization. There will always be a bad apple here or there, but by and large when you have built and invested in your team that shares common values and goals your potential is unlimited.

Value is built where value is given. Make it a priority and you will go far as a leader.

What would you add to the list?

 

©2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Are You a Leader With an Identity Crisis?

identity

Getting in touch with your real self must be your first priority. – Tom Hopkins

A story is told of the renowned artist Paul Gustave Dore who lost his passport while traveling in Europe. When he came to a border crossing, he explained his predicament to one of the guards. Giving his name to the official, Dore hoped he would be recognized and allowed to pass.

The guard, however, said that many people attempted to cross the border by claiming to be persons they were not. Dore insisted that he was the man he claimed to be. “All right,” said the official, “we’ll give you a test, and if you pass it we’ll allow you to go through.” Handing him a pencil and a sheet of paper, he told the artist to sketch several peasants standing nearby. Dore did it so quickly and skillfully that the guard was convinced he was indeed who he claimed to be. His work confirmed his word.

It cannot be overstated how important your identity is as a leader. If you have a false sense of identity it will create a void in your leadership that will hurt you. Understanding your identity is Leadership 101 but if you don’t get this you will pay a price.

Are you a leader with an identity crisis? Here are three ways to find out.

You rely on your title instead of your values

This is a common mistake with new leaders. Leaders who do this tend to overplay their hand because they think their title or position carries enough clout to lead. This approach is an identity crisis waiting to happen. Here’ why.

When your values and character take a back seat to a title or position then it’s likely that you will wash out at some point. In, The 5 Levels of Leadership, John Maxwell states, “Your values are the soul of your leadership and they drive your behavior.” And this is the crux of your identity. Better to hold tight to your values than try to muscle your way to the top without them.

Key takeaway: In the end, what defines you as a leader is not your title or position; it’s your character and values. Whenever you confuse the two you are having an identity crisis.

You rely on rules instead of relationships

Leaders who rely squarely on their title as a means to enforce their rules tend to miss the big picture about relationships. Its been said that rules without relationships breeds rebellion. And when you are more concerned about dictating rules and regulations than you are about building relationships then you are a leader with an identity crisis. Here’s why this matters.

People tend to follow leaders they like and respect. If your people only see you as the office Sherriff and not someone they can relate to on a personal level then you are depreciating your potential as a leader. At the end of the day your people want a leader they can relate to not one that they fear.

Key takeaway: When you are heavy on relationships you can be light on the rules.  Now you can devote your time and energy to what matters most – your people and your shared success.

You rely on receiving instead of giving

The magnitude and duration of your identity crisis in leadership is contingent upon learning these basic tenants. In short; it’s not about you. The depth, length, and reach of your leadership will never be measured by what you receive but by what you give. Here’s why it matters.

Leaders are givers. True leadership is about reproducing and raising up more leaders – not more followers. When this truth comes to light it creates a paradigm shift in your thinking, your actions, and your motives. J. Donald Walters expressed it this way, “Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importance.” Do the math: Creating more followers is about addition. Creating more leaders is about multiplication.

Key takeaway: Be generous. Don’t measure your success as a leader by accolades or plaques, but by how you invested your time, talents, and treasure in the lives of those you served.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

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The Two Faces of Conflict

conflict

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. – Thomas Paine

A story is told of two men who lived in a small village that got into a terrible dispute. They could not resolve it so they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage’s home and told his version of what happened. When he finished, the sage said, “You’re absolutely right.” The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, “You’re absolutely right.” Afterward, the sage’s wife scolded her husband. “Those men told you two different stories and you told them they were absolutely right. That’s impossible, they can’t both be absolutely right.” The sage turned to his wife and said, “You’re absolutely right.”

Leaders know a thing or two about conflict. And most don’t like it. But conflict or “storming” as I once heard it described, can be beneficial if handled the right way. Much of what you hear in leadership or management circles focuses on conflict “resolution” which is based largely off the belief that conflict is always harmful. But is it? Can an organization embrace a healthy form of conflict that works for the organization in a positive way? I believe so. Here are two key lessons about conflict and their characteristics that you need to know.

The conflict that divides us

There is no denying that unresolved conflict can be very detrimental to an organization.  But a greater question needs to be addressed. Do you want the conflict to go away as quick as possible because it makes you uncomfortable or do you want to get to the root of the problem? A Band-Aid approach will not help you in the long run. What are some of the characteristics of the conflict that divides us? Here are a few:

  1. Clashing values. One of the most significant causes of conflict that divides organizations happens over clashing values. When values are not clear, not embraced, or are compromised then the end result will be unhealthy conflict.
  2. Personal agendas. If the people within your organization place their personal agendas over the mission of the organization then conflict that divides will exist. If your people are score-keepers and are only interested in what’s in it for them then perpetual conflict will ruin your organization.
  3. Lack of trust. Most conflict that divides any organization at its root is a trust issue. If team members do not feel they can trust each other- or their leader, then conflict is inevitable. Conflict is the language of lost trust.

The conflict that unites us

As already mentioned, I do not believe all conflict is harmful. If we do not understand the source of conflict that divides us we will have a hard time understanding conflict that can unite us. So how do we make the connection and rally around conflict or ‘storming’ that can bring us together? Here are a few ways:

  1. Mutual trust and respect. It all comes back to trust. If conflict that divides is the language of lost trust then mutual trust and respect is the language that unites us. Values must be clear, mutual, and fully subscribed to in order to move forward as a unified team. Honesty is the key word for conflict that unites.
  2. A focus on what’s best for the team. When personal agendas are set aside for what is best for the organization then every ‘storming’ session is about what’s best for all of us rather than just one. The airing out of ideas then becomes team focused which creates an atmosphere where, because of trust, a free-flow of best ideas can be voiced and no one is threatened. Differences of opinion or approach are now welcomed because no one is questioning motives. It can breathe new life into your organization and creativity can flourish.
  3. Principled leadership. “Everything rises and falls on leadership,” says John Maxwell. It is incumbent upon leaders to position their organizations in a way that fosters healthy conflict by means of mutual trust and respect and open communication. Values must be clear and everyone must be engaged.

Healthy conflict can thrive within your organization but it won’t happen unless there is a principled leader in place who understands the difference. Not all conflict is harmful and not all of it is helpful, but hopefully now you have a better understanding of the two.

What do you say?

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

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