Are You a Leader With an Identity Crisis?

identity

Getting in touch with your real self must be your first priority. – Tom Hopkins

A story is told of the renowned artist Paul Gustave Dore who lost his passport while traveling in Europe. When he came to a border crossing, he explained his predicament to one of the guards. Giving his name to the official, Dore hoped he would be recognized and allowed to pass.

The guard, however, said that many people attempted to cross the border by claiming to be persons they were not. Dore insisted that he was the man he claimed to be. “All right,” said the official, “we’ll give you a test, and if you pass it we’ll allow you to go through.” Handing him a pencil and a sheet of paper, he told the artist to sketch several peasants standing nearby. Dore did it so quickly and skillfully that the guard was convinced he was indeed who he claimed to be. His work confirmed his word.

It cannot be overstated how important your identity is as a leader. If you have a false sense of identity it will create a void in your leadership that will hurt you. Understanding your identity is Leadership 101 but if you don’t get this you will pay a price.

Are you a leader with an identity crisis? Here are three ways to find out.

You rely on your title instead of your values

This is a common mistake with new leaders. Leaders who do this tend to overplay their hand because they think their title or position carries enough clout to lead. This approach is an identity crisis waiting to happen. Here’ why.

When your values and character take a back seat to a title or position then it’s likely that you will wash out at some point. In, The 5 Levels of Leadership, John Maxwell states, “Your values are the soul of your leadership and they drive your behavior.” And this is the crux of your identity. Better to hold tight to your values than try to muscle your way to the top without them.

Key takeaway: In the end, what defines you as a leader is not your title or position; it’s your character and values. Whenever you confuse the two you are having an identity crisis.

You rely on rules instead of relationships

Leaders who rely squarely on their title as a means to enforce their rules tend to miss the big picture about relationships. Its been said that rules without relationships breeds rebellion. And when you are more concerned about dictating rules and regulations than you are about building relationships then you are a leader with an identity crisis. Here’s why this matters.

People tend to follow leaders they like and respect. If your people only see you as the office Sherriff and not someone they can relate to on a personal level then you are depreciating your potential as a leader. At the end of the day your people want a leader they can relate to not one that they fear.

Key takeaway: When you are heavy on relationships you can be light on the rules.  Now you can devote your time and energy to what matters most – your people and your shared success.

You rely on receiving instead of giving

The magnitude and duration of your identity crisis in leadership is contingent upon learning these basic tenants. In short; it’s not about you. The depth, length, and reach of your leadership will never be measured by what you receive but by what you give. Here’s why it matters.

Leaders are givers. True leadership is about reproducing and raising up more leaders – not more followers. When this truth comes to light it creates a paradigm shift in your thinking, your actions, and your motives. J. Donald Walters expressed it this way, “Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importance.” Do the math: Creating more followers is about addition. Creating more leaders is about multiplication.

Key takeaway: Be generous. Don’t measure your success as a leader by accolades or plaques, but by how you invested your time, talents, and treasure in the lives of those you served.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

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Five Routines for Growing Leaders

Composite of Clock and Calendar

There is comfort in rituals, and rituals provide a framework for stability when you are trying to find answers. – Deborah Norville

I came across a fascinating article in Business Insider (http://read.bi/155XpL3) about the daily routines of 16 famous creative people. The article featured the likes of Ludwig van Beethoven, Thomas Mann, Sigmund Freud, Maya Angelou, and Victor Hugo to name a few.

What were some of the more peculiar routines? Beethoven’s day began with breakfast which consisted of coffee which he prepared himself. He determined that there should be 60 beans per cup, and he often counted them out one by one for a precise dose.

Victor Hugo would start the day by taking a public ice bath. Charles Darwin’s focused work would be interrupted by occasional trips to the snuff jar. Honore´ de Balzac would spend a large majority of his day writing with the help of upwards to 50 cups of black coffee.

Insights into the routines of these creative people prompted me to think about the necessary disciplines for growing leaders. Your growth as a leader is not a passive and disengaged process. Not if you want to grow.

Over the years I have found routines that have worked for me. It has little to do with whether you are a morning person or a night person, a social butterfly or prefer to be alone. What is the tipping point? The disciplines you develop today will determine the type of leader you will become tomorrow. Here are five routines – leadership vitamins if you will, that will help you grow into a healthy leader.

The routine of reading

Leaders are readers. Fortunately, I come from a long line of readers and writers. It was in those formative years, and despite my struggles with dyslexia, where I formed a love for reading that stuck. If you want to grow as a leader there is no better way or place to start than with a good book. When reading is a priority then your leadership growth will be automatic.

The routine of listening

The older I get the more I realize just how much I don’t know. I’ve discovered that there is no better way to learn than to be an engaged and active listener. In many circles you will find active and engaged talkers, and there is a time and a place to talk, but for the leader who wants to grow, he or she will listen more and talk less.

The routine of reflection

Growing leaders take the time to reflect. Through the course of each day you come across dozens of people, make important decisions, and often it’s done on the spur of the moment. Reflection time affords you the chance to measure your progress. Don’t know where to start? At the end of the day try answering these questions: Where did I add value today? How was my attitude? Who needs my encouragement? Etc…  Reflection can also include prayer and meditation to replenish the soul.

The routine of exercise

I’ve touched on this before but it’s worth repeating. Healthy leaders are productive leaders. Exercise should be an integral part of your daily agenda as a leader. It’s good for your body and mind and it gets your creative juices flowing. Include in this routine healthier eating habits. A proper diet and exercise are the fuels you need to grow as a leader.

The routine of staying connected

Growing leaders are connected leaders. It’s through the growth and development of your personal and professional relationships that you mature. Being connected gives you a sense of community but it also runs deeper. It’s when you are able to let your guard down, take your mask off and be vulnerable, that you can truly see growth as a leader. Are you a detached leader? If so, then get connected- your growth depends on it.

What are you your leadership routines?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

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A Tale of Three Leaders

Leadership-WORDLE

The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. – William Arthur Ward

One of my favorite stories is from John Maxwell. In it he shares about the turkey chatting it up with the bull. “I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, “but I haven’t got the energy.”

“Well,” replied the bull, “why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings? They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch on the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly perched on top of the tree. But he was promptly spotted by a hunter, who shot him down out of the tree.

The moral of the story: BS might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Every leader I know wants to make it to the top. I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t want to be successful. Your leadership point of view – how you see your world, will set into motion the realities of your leadership and to a certain extent the success you have. Will your present leadership style get you to the top? Will it keep you there? Here are three style of leadership for your consideration.

The pessimistic leader

This is the leader who always sees the glass half empty. For this leader the next disaster is just around the corner and no one is prepared for it. The pessimistic leader assumes the worst and usually creates self-filling predictions.

It’s hard to wrap our minds around this type of leadership style but it’s one that in some circles exists. The only thing more demoralizing than working for this type of leader is being one. But know this; a pessimistic leader is one by choice. The pessimistic leader is not the only leader to face adversity, setbacks, personnel issues, economic challenges, etc. It comes with the territory. Then what’s the deal breaker? In a word – attitude.

The pessimistic leader’s lid of limitation is his or her attitude. Until this leader drops their pessimistic ways they never make it to the top. Zig Ziglar was right when he said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” Change your attitude and you will change your point of view.

The optimistic leader

The optimistic leader has an easier path to the top. Why? For the opposite reason the pessimistic leader will not reach it. Optimism is the fuel that drives you and it’s contagious. A healthy dose of optimism will give you and your team the competitive advantage you need to climb your way to success.

But is optimism alone enough or is more needed? Just as you need a dream or a goal to shoot for, optimism alone is not sufficient. You must be awakened to your dream and work it. You can dream all day but until you go to work you are just a daydreamer. You need an optimistic frame of mind that causes you to believe that anything is possible-and it is- but you must channel that optimism through hard work and measureable results.

An optimistic leader expects challenges and is prepared for them. But the optimistic leader needs to know how and when to pivot and be prepared to make adjustments. It’s hard to remain optimistic for long if you are going in the wrong direction.

The realistic leader

The realistic leader knows how to discern the BS, adjust the sails, and make the best of every challenge and opportunity. The leader wearing the realistic hat will tell you the truth no matter how sobering it may be. It may sound something like this, “Times are tough. We’re not where we want to be or should be. We’ve been blindsided, and at times we’ve dropped the ball. We’re going to make some changes and if we will pull together and work hard, together we can turn this around.” It’s acknowledging problems and accepting responsibility with optimism still in place.

The realistic leader walks a tightrope. If the tone is too harsh it can have negative consequences. If the message is not delivered forcefully enough the perception can be that problems are being swept under the rug. But optimism devoid of reality sets people up with a false hope. People need to know what’s optimistically within reach.

A realistic leader’s greatest asset in order to be successful is trust. When people trust their leader to not BS them and give it to them straight, and have their backs, the sky is the limit as to how high they can go.

Which type of leader are you?

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

 

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Leadership Minute: Get Up and Get Moving!

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Just remember that there’s no way for any of us to get to the place of our Big Dream without leaving our recliners! – Bruce Wilkinson

What is your big dream? It’s the dream or idea that will keep you up late at night and gets you up early in the morning. But the dream does not come true because you dream it – it comes true because you work it. Your dream is akin to a blueprint – it’s the map of your destiny. Without a blueprint the builder can’t build. Many people bemoan unfulfilled dreams but in reality, for most, it was work left undone. The reality is this: the bigger the dream the harder the work. My encouragement to you today is not just to dream big dreams but to work hard. You will know that your dream has captured your heart when it puts tools in your hand. Do you have a big dream? Get up and get moving. It’s time to go to work!

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Leadership Minute: What’s for Breakfast?

breakfast

Expect problems and eat them for breakfast. – Alfred A. Montapert

Leaders have problems. It just comes with the territory.  The fact that you have problems is not an indicator that you’ve done something wrong – in most cases it’s the opposite. The more you remain determined to move ahead, work hard, and do the right thing, the more problems you will acquire. So the issue is not about how to live a problem-free life as a leader. The issue is how to take control of your problems and use that energy to further your goals. Every successful person faces opposition and contends with problems. Don’t know where to begin? First and foremost it begins with your attitude. How you see your problems determines whether they will get the best of you or if you will eat them for breakfast. When your attitude is positive and your resolve is strong there is no problem that can overtake you. Problems – the breakfast of leaders!

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Leadership Minute: Don’t Be Bitter

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Some guys leave a place after a long time, and they’re bitter. Not me. – Peyton Manning

If there was ever a person who led by example on this issue it was Peyton Manning. When he left the Indianapolis Colts for the Denver Broncos he did it with as much class and style as anyone could. He modeled the way it can be done. But in your leadership journey I am sure you’ve come across those who left a place after a long career who didn’t leave on such good terms. Perhaps their journey didn’t go as planned. Maybe their dreams went unfulfilled and they left bitter and beat down. In leadership you will always have challenges. You don’t always choose your circumstances or how people will treat you. But you do own your attitudes and reactions. So regardless of what you are facing today – know this, you are there for a purpose. Make up your mind to guard your heart and your attitude at all costs. When it’s time to move on you will know it- not because you are bitter, but because you are at peace.

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Leadership Minute: Live Fearlessly

fearless

I have a lot of things to prove to myself. One is that I can live my life fearlessly. – Oprah Winfrey

Leadership is not for the faint of heart. And if you are going to live your life fearlessly then there are some choices you are going to have to make. The life of a leader is not characterized by avoiding fearful things or circumstances. It is however; living in the presence of fear without being afraid. It’s about choosing not to allow those fears to hold you back or control you. Living fearlessly is having a greater confidence in your faith and abilities than any threat that fear can pose. To be sure, fear is a motivator. As a leader it will push you to achieve and overcome seemingly great obstacles, or it will paralyze you. Living fearlessly is not the absence of fear but is the stronger belief that you are equipped to handle anything that comes your way. Are you living fearlessly?

 

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10 Courtesies Every Leader Should Remember

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Courtesy – Excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior. –Random House Dictionary

“Everything rises and falls on leadership,” says John Maxwell. He’s right. The temperament of a leader is an important ingredient that goes a long way in determining his or her success. In short; behaviors and attitudes matter.

Too often sadly, we hear the stories of workplace bullying and other behaviors that are contributing to poor morale and working conditions. As a leader it is important to be aware of your surroundings and your workplace culture. Now is a good time to be reminded of simple courtesies that make a difference. Here is a list of ten common courtesies every leader should remember. The list is not exhaustive but is a good place to start. They are in no particular order.

  1. How to say “thank you”, “please”, ‘you’re welcome”, etc.

It should go without saying but these polite yet simple forms of communication are essential words in the vocabulary of every leader. Use them often and use them with sincerity. They are still relevant and meaningful.

  1. Return your phone calls and emails.

How many times has this happened to you? You leave a voicemail or send an email and you go days or weeks without a response. How did it make you feel? Nothing screams “you don’t matter” any louder than the silence of being ignored. A courteous leader will return calls and emails. For a great resource I recommend my friend Dr. Monica Seeley (the Email Doctor) you can find her blog at http://bit.ly/1rF6FAr

  1. The timing of your words

One of the courteous things you can do as a leader is to speak words of encouragement to those around you. The timing of a kind word to a colleague can be just the thing he or she needs to make it through the day or through a difficult time. Be aware of the needs of those around you and don’t be afraid to speak a kind word.

  1. The timing of your silence

As the writer of Ecclesiastes says, there is a time to keep silent and a time to speak. As a leader, there will be times that the best thing you can do is to hold your tongue and not say a word. You can be just as courteous by what you don’t say as you can by what you do say. As a leader you have to learn the appropriateness of the moment.

  1. The value of time

A courteous leader is considerate of other people’s time and knows how to manage their own. Showing courtesy as a leader means that you value and respect other people’s time and won’t waste it. You’ll show up to meetings on time and you won’t waste it on trivial things that don’t matter.

  1. The giving of your undivided attention

On so many levels we are losing the art of being present in the moment. We are losing the art of conversation. The better connected we are through technology the more distant we’ve become relationally. Don’t believe me? Try having a 30-minute lunch with a group of friends without each person checking their mobile device repeatedly.  A courteous leader will put away the phone or any other distractions and give others their undivided attention.

  1. How to stay out of other people’s business

Gossip and office politics has been around for a long time. A courteous leader will stay out of it. If it’s not your business then don’t make it your business. If it is your business then use it as a teachable moment to show the proper way to handle it.

  1. How to let things go

Extending courtesies as a leader can be challenging. But one of the wisest things you can do is to learn how to let things go. Don’t be so hell bent on winning the battle that you lose the war. Consider the issue and measure your response.  Learn how to forgive and move on. You’ll be happier in the long run.

  1. Keep your word

Courteous leaders are reliable and keep their word. Be slow to make promises and if you do – follow through and do it. Reasonable people understand that circumstances change and things come up that you didn’t anticipate but as far as it depends on you do what you say you are going to do.

10. Be kind

It’s simply stated because it is. A courteous leader is kind, considerate, and helpful to others. It’s the little things you do as a leader that makes a big difference. It begins with common courtesy.

What do you say?

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

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3 Things You Can Learn From Constructive Critics

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To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing – Elbert Hubbard

A story is told of Winston Churchill who exemplified integrity and respect in the face of opposition. During his last year in office, he attended an official ceremony. Several rows behind him two gentlemen began whispering. “That’s Winston Churchill.” “They say he is getting senile.” “They say he should step aside and leave the running of the nation to more dynamic and capable men.” When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned to the men and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf!”

As a leader you will have your critics. It comes with the territory. While many are quick to tell you to not to listen to your critics and to disregard them, I will tell you – not so fast. Not all criticism is fatal just as all praise is not flattering. You must look at the motive.

To be sure, there will be critics who for no other reason than jealousy will oppose you and try to stand in your way while you are achieving your goals and dreams. If their motives are to harm you and not to help you, then yes, you need to ignore them. They are not running your race and they will not be a part of your destiny. Don’t worry about them.

But once in a while a constructive critic comes along whose motives are right and if you are receptive you can benefit from them. Leaders are not above correction and there is always room for improvement. What can you learn from your constructive critics? Plenty. Here are three specific things that might be helpful.

How to develop a thick skin

The sooner you develop a thick skin the better. As a leader you are exposed to a higher than normal amount of criticism from all sides. The decision you make today may anger one group in your office, while a decision tomorrow will have the opposite effect.

It’s easy for people to criticize decision makers when they don’t have to live with the responsibility of the decision. But the criticisms can still sting nonetheless. Developing a thick skin as a leader is a necessity for your longevity. It’s a way of life for you as a leader so get used to it.

Why perceptions matter

Most people’s opinion of you as a leader is based in part on perceptions. Some people’s perceptions may be positive while for others it’s negative. Many factors can contribute to this viewpoint. A person with frequent interaction with you will see your leadership style one way, while a person with limited exposure will see it another. The question is: are you aware of the perceptions others have of you?

You want to give the perception that you are approachable, likable, competent, and that you have your people’s best interest at heart. And if you will allow them, your critics will let you know how you are doing. Though they may be few in number; keep your constructive critics close. In the end they will be more valuable to you than a room full of “yes people” ever will.

How you can improve

Leaders need constructive critics. They will give perspective that you may be lacking, insights you need to know, and will stand with you when times are tough. As a leader there is always room for improvement. You never stop learning. But how can you improve when you have blind spots that are not being brought to your attention?

Your growth and development as a leader is proportional to your desire and ability to learn. It’s a process that involves many components that are traditional in nature but also those that are very personal. It’s one thing to shrug off and dismiss a critic who has no interest in your success. But your best learning will occur when you ask for constructive critics who share in your success and will give you honest feedback.

Final thoughts

As a leader it’s important to differentiate between the critics who oppose you out of their own insecurity, jealousy, or ulterior motives and those who are your constructive critics. It’s not too hard to figure out. One group will stab you in the back while the other group will have your back and support you. One group will stand with you through thick and thin, the other group will cut and run – you get the picture.

Your responsibility as a leader is to discern between the two and align yourself with the right people. Your success as a leader will occur when you are not too proud to listen to your constructive critics and smart enough to ignore the others.

What do you say?

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

 

 

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Three Fears That Shape Your Leadership

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One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of the great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do. – Henry Ford

The story is told of two explorers who were on a jungle safari when suddenly a ferocious lion jumped in front of them. “Keep calm” the first man whispered. “Remember what we read in that book on wild animals? If you stand perfectly still and look the lion in the eye, he will turn and run.” “Sure,” replied his companion. “You’ve read the book, and I’ve read the book. But has the lion read the book?”

What’s your phobia? For some it’s a fear of heights, or flying. For others it may be riding in an elevator, speaking in public, or Friday the 13th. For me, it’s spiders. I can handle most anything you throw my way, but for some reason spiders creep me out.

You will face many challenges as a leader. One the best discoveries to make on your leadership journey is that some of the things you were afraid of were, in fact, nothing to be afraid of at all. It’s as you grow and gain confidence in your talents and abilities that you can look back on some of your unfounded fears and smile. So what fears can actually make you a better leader? Here are three for your consideration.

The fear of thinking too big – This fear is rooted in the “what if?” mentality.

Donald Trump said, “I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you may as well think big.” That’s the rub with some leaders. They had rather play it safe with small thinking. After all, small thinking equals small risks. But big thinking requires big risks and big sacrifices. And did I mention the issue of pride? After all, as the logic goes, how would it look if I failed?

Let me ask you the question that’s been around for a while. What would you attempt if you knew that you could not fail? Leaders who think big had rather fail at attempting something big than succeed at something small. You overcome this fear of thinking too big with hard work and dedication. Don’t let the fear of thinking too big hold you back. Embrace your big ideas, goals, and dreams and see where they take you.

The fear of overestimating your potential – This fear is rooted in a “who me? mentality.

This is a fear that causes you to think too little of your gifts, talents, and leadership abilities. If you ever buy-in to the notion that you are not meant to be where you are, doing what you are doing, and possessing the skills to be there, you will never reach your full potential.

Winston Churchill said, “Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential.” Your potential is always fluid as you continue to grow. Your level of potential today is not the same as it was five years ago simply based on your growth. The bar will be higher five years out as your growth pattern continues. The key here is to have faith in your abilities and to never entertain negative thoughts or attitudes that would hold you back. Your potential will be unlimited when you take the limits off your potential.

The fear of empowering others – This fear is rooted in the “why them?” mentality.

Every smart leader understands the impact and importance of empowered teams. Empowered teams are more productive, create positive energy, and build morale in ways you can’t do when individuals are isolated from one another. But a fear of empowering others can undercut that culture and progress.

The fear of empowering others likely has less to do with your team than it does with your own insecurities or fear of not being in control. Whatever the reason; it’s a hindrance to your progress and success. But when you shed that fear and believe in your people, you can unleash your team to do what they were meant to do. Empowering others begins as you overpower your fears.

Every leader faces fear. That’s common. How you respond to your fear will determine the shape of your leadership. Don’t be afraid to think big, be confident in yourself and your abilities, and empower others. When you do fear can’t win.

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

 

I welcome your feedback:

1. What fears have held you back on your journey as a leader?

2. How can you work to overcome them?

3. How can you help others overcome their fears?

 

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