leadership – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Conflict Resolution to Communication Resolution

Peace is not the absence of conflict. It’s the ability to handle conflict by peaceful means. – Ronald Reagan

There’s an old story about two men who lived in a small village and got into a terrible dispute they could not resolve. To resolve the conflict, they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage’s home and told his version of what happened. When finished, the sage said, “You’re absolutely right.”

The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, “You’re absolutely right.” Afterward, the sage’s wife scolded her husband. “Those men told you two different stories, and you told them both they were right. That’s impossible – they both can’t be right.” The sage turned to his wife and said, “You’re absolutely right.”

This humorous story reminds us that during conflict, most people see themselves as on the right side of the conflict. They identify the other party as the ones in the wrong, and the hamster wheel keeps spinning until they eventually “agree to disagree.” In the end, nothing changes, nothing improves, and nothing is gained.

Here’s the principle most people miss: There must be communication resolution before conflict resolution.

We hear and read so much about conflict resolution in many leadership circles. It’s almost as if the primary goal is to be as far removed from conflict as possible – thus producing and generating a “healthy” workplace culture.

As a leader, you can work tirelessly to create an environment where “conflict resolution” abounds and people smile all day. Still, underneath the surface, tensions and the general feeling that peace must be maintained at all costs are causing many to feel as though they are walking on eggshells.

What if there was a better way? What if you could have a culture where healthy disagreements could occur – and dare I say it – it’s encouraged? Imagine a culture where civility and disagreements are welcomed and discussed in a way that moves you closer to your goals and objectives.

Many conflicts at home or work can be traced back to poor communication skills. Listening skills primarily revolve around waiting to respond and not seeking to understand. The list goes on. But when you sharpen your communication skills, you also sharpen – indirectly, your ability to resolve conflict. As a leader, this is an invaluable tool. Let me give you some general starting points for communication resolution. Remember that this is not an exhaustive list, but a good place to start.

Resolve to build trust

Communication rises and falls on trust. If your people don’t trust you, the conflict will be ever-present in your organization. The foundation of resolving conflict is measured by a shared trust that, despite any conflict, is knowing that we can trust each other.

Resolve to bring people together, not keep them apart

The longer people are kept apart, the more prolonged tensions have to fester and boil over. When your team is not sitting down together and communicating, there is more of an opportunity for conflict to grow.

Resolve to listen more than you speak

Your role as a leader is to facilitate communication, not lecture. A good rule of thumb is to talk less, listen more, and weigh in when needed. The more your team communicates with each other, the more they will discover that there is usually more that unites them than divides them. Give them space to figure it out.

Resolve to lead with humility

Your responsibility as a leader is not to walk away from conflict but to open communication channels. It’s not about pulling rank, keeping score, or winning at all costs. It’s about being a servant leader who cares more about your people than winning.

Next week, I will discuss this topic further with you, including some action steps you can implement to help you build a team that understands the value of communication.

Please follow and like us:

Why Your Perspective Matters

Posted January 8, 2025
by admin
Leave a Comment on Why Your Perspective Matters

Success in life comes not from holding a good hand but from playing a poor hand well. – Denis Waitley

A man reads an ad in the newspaper, “Hunting dog for sale, $2,500 but well worth it.” He called the number, and the man told him he had to see the dog. The following day, they met and went hunting early.

The dog flushed two birds from a clump of bushes, and when they fell into the water, he walked on top of the water, grabbed the birds, and walked back on top of the water. The man was amazed and bought the dog on the spot. The next day, he persuaded his brother to go hunting with him. They flushed a couple of birds, and the dog again walked on top of the water, retrieved the birds, and walked back to their boat on top of the water.

He asked his brother what he thought of the dog, and the brother replied, “So you bought a dog that can’t swim?”

The brother’s response is like that of some people you and I know, right? Regardless of how well things may be going, one person will always be the one who can’t help themselves and will see or say something negative. Even though the dog can walk on water, you’ll hear from someone who will notice that the dog can’t swim.

A 2022 PSP Metrics article cited a Bureau of Labor Statistics report that “negativity in the workplace costs businesses $3 billion a year due to its harmful effects. Workplace negativity is like a disease, and even the best companies aren’t immune.” As unfortunate as this may be, there are two things you need to be mindful of as a leader.

You are responsible for your attitude and perspective.

Here’s a leadership truth you can take to the bank: your attitude will make or break you. Zig Ziglar said, “Your attitude determines your altitude.” How high, how far, and how productive you desire to be is directly linked to your attitude. With a good and healthy attitude and perspective, your potential and possibilities are unlimited.

In 1914, when Thomas Edison’s lab was destroyed by fire. Including one-of-a-kind prototypes and causing $23 million in damage, Edison’s response was simple: “Thank goodness all of our mistakes are burned up. Now we can start fresh again.”

Hang around in leadership long enough, and you will experience the exhilaration of successes and the disappointments of failures. Your attitude in both will give you the perspective you need for the long haul. But remember, your attitude and perspective are directly linked to your success. Choose wisely.

You are responsible for leveraging your influence as much as possible.

You are not personally responsible for the attitudes and perspectives of those around you. While it might undoubtedly improve your workplace culture if you were, it’s something that you have no direct control over.

That being said, you are responsible for leveraging your influence as a leader in a way that others will desire to emulate.

Here’s what I know: your words, your attitude, your perspective, your demeanor, and your tone serve as a thermostat for those around you. When appropriately set, you can positively influence those around you. And while there will perhaps be some who will not choose the positive perspective over the negative one, you can at least take heart in knowing you did your part.

Your perspective and attitude matter, and it’s a choice you must make. Harvey Mackay framed it this way, “When you wake up every day, you have two choices. You can either be positive or negative, an optimist or a pessimist. I choose to be an optimist. It’s all a matter of perspective.”

What choice are you making today?

Please follow and like us:

Time For Change

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. – Maya Angelou

How well do you embrace change? Research conducted by Pritchett finds that some 20% of people are change-friendly. They are willing to embrace change and are typically those who will drive it in their organizations. Another 50% are those who sit on the fence. They assume a neutral position, figuring out which way to lean. The remaining 30% are the resisters. They are antagonistic toward change and deliberately try to make it fail.

Even good change has been hard to come by over time. In many ways, we are settlers. We settle for what is, would instead not be burdened by learning something new, and would prefer to keep antiquated systems even when new ones would be more beneficial.

Take electricity, for example. I read that when electricity was first introduced in buildings and homes, people feared it. There were no safe circuits available. When electric lights were introduced to the White House in 1891, President Harrison feared electrocution, even touching the lights.

A newspaper entry from 1900 reads, “Do we really need it when gas lights work just fine, and horses are easier than cars?”

As we enter 2025, we stand on the brink of many changes that await us. Some are known, but many are not. Over the years, here is what I have learned about change.

Your attitude toward change is more important than the change

The only constant is change. We can control some change but can’t control most of it. However, we always have control over our attitude toward it.

When it comes to change, your attitude will help you navigate it, and how you navigate it will determine your success and peace of mind. Be careful about the choices you make.

You can be a change agent or a change spoiler.

As a leader, you are uniquely positioned to be a change agent for good. To that end, the world needs you. But you can’t be a change agent for good from the sidelines. Granted, not every idea for change is good, but not every idea for change needs to be resisted.

Your role as a leader is to be engaged, have the wisdom to discern right from wrong, and be the voice of reason. Click To Tweet

Your personal growth is attached to your ability to change

John Maxwell said, “Change is inevitable; growth is optional.” And this is the secret sauce of your success. Change is going to happen with or without you. Your growth is optional.

Maxwell also said, “People change when they hurt enough that they have to change, learn enough that they want to change, receive enough that they can change.”

So, in what ways do you want to change in 2025? What are you willing to do to embrace change? What will you do to grow in 2025 and become the person God desires you to be?

Ready or not, 2025 is here, and it’s time for a change.

Please follow and like us:

Are You Questioning Your Own Thinking?

Posted November 4, 2024
by admin

We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. – Albert Einstein

At the turn of the century, Blockbuster reigned supreme in the video rental industry. If your family craved a movie night, chances are, someone had to drive to one of Blockbuster’s 9,000 stores, stroll through rows of DVD-lined shelves, and hand a membership card to a blue-clad employee.

When Reed Hastings, founder of the fledgling startup called Netflix, met with Blockbuster CEO John Antioco in 2000 to propose a partnership, he was laughed out of the office.

Despite changing consumer preferences, Blockbuster doubled down on its store-first model by offering popcorn, books, and toys, while Netflix experimented with a subscription model and no late fees. Only 10 years later, Netflix became one of the largest streaming sources on the internet. Blockbuster declared bankruptcy.

That story is a reminder of what potentially can happen if we do not question our thinking and systems regularly.

Andy Stanley once observed “We should remember that every tradition was originally a good idea – perhaps even revolutionary. But every tradition may not be a good idea for the future.”

Think about your current systems and ways of doing things whether in the context of your organization or elsewhere. What traditions or ways of doing things remain in place? How long has that been? Would they still be considered a good idea or revolutionary by today’s standards?

I am not advocating dumping standing traditions for the sake of dumping them. I am challenging you to question your thinking about them. How could an honest assessment potentially be beneficial to you? Consider the following.

How many of the current traditions and ways of doing things in your organization are inherited or passed down over time?

There may be ways in which you operate in your organization and no one quite understands why other than to say “This is the way we’ve always done it.” If so, now might be a good time to evaluate whether a change can be made.

What would be the most uncomfortable thing about making a change to your standing traditions?

Would it be the fear of possible pushback? Would it be the fear of it being obsolete and time to replace it?

What new advancements in operating systems, technology, and training exist now that didn’t when your traditions were first established?

Over time, things streamline and improve. What advancements and updates could help you operate more efficiently? What training and development would improve employee morale and engagement? Give yourself permission to keep up with the times you are now in.

Are the original goals of your traditions being met and achieved?

If not, why are you still holding on to them? Is it time to do away with them or refine them? Either way, no standard way of doing things should exist if they are not moving the needle in the right direction.

Are you the catalyst for change or the status quo?

There comes a time when every leader must come clean with an honest answer to this critical question. Are you holding your organization, team, or yourself back because you are stuck in the past? Does the memory of the “way things used to be” mean more than the possibility of what could be next?

Questioning your thinking is not easy. It speaks to your motives, your vision, and yes, to your relevance as a leader going forward.

John Maxwell was right when he said, “If you want to reject popular thinking in order to embrace achievement, you’ll have to get used to being uncomfortable.” And this is why it’s important to question your own thinking.

What questions are you asking yourself today?

Please follow and like us:

Your Leadership Rewards Program

Posted October 9, 2024October 9, 2024
by admin

As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another. – Proverbs 27:17

Stop by any convenience store and one of the things that most of them will offer to you is some form of fuel reward or perk program to earn your business over time.

As a “reward” member, you will earn points that will allow you to save money on fuel and food among other things. In addition to convenience stores, many other retail stores use the same approach. How many points do you have on your Starbucks app?

From a retail and marketing approach, reward points are both a common and popular way of garnering business and offering incentives to loyal customers who frequent their business. It’s a win-win for everyone.

As a leader, you are engaged in varying degrees of relationships with those around you. To that end, your level of influence with each one varies depending on that proximity.

For example, everyone has a general network of friends and acquaintances. They may be people you know at work, people you worship with at church, or people you know from your yoga class at the gym. They are good people and you enjoy being around them.

Now think about those closest to you – your inner circle. These are the ones with whom you have forged a deeper relationship with by design and that you by and large do life with. These people make up your tribe of close confidants, mentors or mentees, and the like. These are the people with you through thick and thin, in the good times and bad. You can count on them and they can count on you.

Think about the “rewards” you offer to people around you – be they in your broader circle of friends, or your inner circle. What should those reward points look like? Here are just a few for consideration.

The reward of your trust

The foundational quality of any leader is trust. Those in your inner circle need to know that in all things you are a trustworthy person. When trust is the foundation of the value that you bring to your leadership, it will be evident in your words and your actions.

The reward point for others is that they know that you are a person they can trust.

The reward of your loyalty

A close second is the reward of loyalty. When you are known as a leader and friend who is loyal you will endear yourself immensely to those around you. When trust is given, loyalty is earned. When loyalty is earned, trust is secured.

The reward point for others is that they know that you will always have their back.

The reward of your encouragement

I once heard it said that the best way to know if someone needs encouragement is determined by whether or not they have a pulse. If they do, they need encouragement. Anyone can be negative and find fault, but when people are in your company it ought to be a time of being uplifted and encouraged.

The reward point for others is that they leave you better off than when they came.

The reward of your counsel

One of the rewards for others in your sphere of influence is that they benefit from your counsel. In the same way, you can benefit from the wisdom and counsel of others in your circle. As iron sharpens iron, so one person can sharpen the other and this is the beauty of selfless leadership.

The reward point for others is that they know you have their best interest at heart and you want to see them succeed.

Final Thoughts

John Maxwell stated, “To add value, leaders must give of themselves, and that rarely happens by accident.” And this is your goal as a leader – intentionally adding value to those around you every day.

Please follow and like us:

How Popular is Your Thinking?

Posted October 2, 2024October 3, 2024
by admin

Swim upstream. Go the other way. Ignore the conventional wisdom. – Sam Walton

In his book, How Successful People Think, John Maxwell shares the story of Benno Muller-Hill, a professor at the University of Cologne genetics department and how one morning in high school he stood last in a line of forty students in the schoolyard.

His physics professor had set up a telescope so that his students could view a planet and its moons. The first student stepped up to the telescope. He looked though it, but when the teacher asked if he could see anything, the boy said no; his nearsightedness hampered his view. The teacher showed him how to adjust the focus, and the boy finally said he could see the planet and moons.

One by one, the students stepped up to the telescope and saw what they were supposed to see. Finally, the second to last student looked into the telescope and announced that he could not see anything.

“You idiot,” shouted the teacher, “you have to adjust the lenses.”

The student tried, but finally said, “I still can’t see anything. It’s all black.”

The teacher, disgusted, looked through the telescope himself, and then looked up with a strange expression. The lens cap still covered the telescope. None of the students had been able to see anything.

This story is both humorous and tragic in that in many ways it is emblematic of the way people walk through life. Simply put – they see what they want to see and rather tell you what they think you want to hear in place of speaking the truth.

As a leader, you have a duty and an obligation to be clear, precise, honest, and trustworthy in all that you see, in all that you say, and in all that you do. This begins with the way that you think. Much of today’s “popular thinking” is the by-product of culture and social trends that to a large extent is driven by social media. Independent thinking becomes the casualty of what is “popular” in the moment.

What does this look like in your day-to-day leadership and why does it matter? Here are a few thoughts for your consideration.

Popular thinking seeks to blend in; it does not stand out

The easiest thing you will ever do in leadership is to blend in with the culture around you. It’s also the most dangerous. As a leader, you are not meant to be a conformist, but rather be a catalyst for change and to add value to those around you. Your voice ought to be one of hopeful optimism, reality-driven, and pointing to a higher standard.

Popular thinking conforms to culture; it does not transform it

The leader’s duty is not to conform to culture, but to be a reformer of culture and light the path to a better way. What’s popular today will look different in a year and constantly change over time. Being knowledgeable is good for your understanding. Having the wisdom to discern culture is essential to your skillset as a leader. This is what will set you apart from the rest.

Popular thinking marginalizes others; it does not bring people together

The unintended consequence of adapting oneself to the conventional wisdom and “popular” thinking of culture is found in the way people are marginalized and left on the fringes. People lose their voices due to fear of reprisals and for not being a part of the group-think mentality. As a leader, you must learn to use your voice for the voiceless and do so in a way that brings people together, not in a way that divides.

How popular is your thinking?

Please follow and like us:

Are You Thinking About Your Legacy?

Posted September 17, 2024September 17, 2024
by admin

At your funeral, people shouldn’t have to guess the kind of life you lead or the legacy you left behind, what you stood for should be evident by your actions. – John Maxwell

Recently I had the opportunity to spend an afternoon at the Billy Graham Library in Charlotte, NC. It was a beautiful day with just an ever-so-slight hint of autumn in the air. The sun was shining bright and there was a cool breeze.

The tour was intriguing on many levels. Walking through the various stages of Graham’s life from his humble beginnings to the massive crusades around the world, the tour was both historical and inspirational.

One of the pictures that captured my attention was one that perhaps you might not expect. Sure, there were pictures of the massive crowds at the Crusades, pictures with presidents, and pictures with his family. But the one that jumped out to me oddly enough was of the Charlotte Coliseum billboard advertising an upcoming crusade. Below the crusade dates were the next attractions: Wrestling, Elvis Presley, and Ice Hockey.

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose it would take Elvis, wrestling, and ice hockey to come close to the impact of Billy Graham.

When it comes to your impact, and leaving your legacy, what thoughts come to mind? What is important to you? What’s the “one thing” you want on your marquee?

For each person, it will look different, but for you as a leader, it will always come down to the things that you are most intentional about. As I reflect upon my visit to the Billy Graham Library and what legacy is all about, here are my three takeaways.

His legacy was built on his faith

Today we remember Billy Graham as a man of faith – an evangelist. The bedrock of his legacy was an enduring faith that spanned many decades.

Reflecting on his legacy and life, Graham said, “The greatest inheritance you can pass on to your children and grandchildren is more than money or material possessions you get. It’s a legacy of both character and faith.” And this is exactly what Graham did.

Building your legacy on faith is to build it on something that will outlive you. Faith is that foundation. Click To Tweet

His legacy was built on family

Graham’s most enduring legacy, aside from his evangelistic work, was undoubtedly his family. He was married to his wife Ruth for 63 years. They had five children, and a slew of grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and even great-great-grandchildren. Family meant more to him than anything else.

Graham once said, “Nothing is closer to my heart than my family.” And this was a core value that also defined his legacy.

Many opportunities and accomplishments will help define you as a leader. For Graham, he knew what was the most important.

His legacy was built on humility

Billy Graham exemplified what it meant to be a servant-leader. He understood that his life and leadership were about something greater than himself and he passionately lived it out.

One of Graham’s longtime associates observed, “Billy always saw himself as just a farm boy from Mecklenburg County, North Carolina. He was amazed that God could use him like he did.”

One of the most enduring qualities of any leader is that of humility. Humility will keep you grounded when your ego gets too big and will instill a deeper sense of gratitude for all that you have. I believe Graham lived a life marked by a true sense of humility and awareness of the gift that he had.

As you consider your legacy and what it will mean to those you love, consider the role of faith, family, family, and humility. It’s a good starting place for a life well lived.

Please follow and like us:

The Price of Integrity

Posted September 3, 2024
by admin

The quality of a leader is reflected in the standards they set for themselves. – Ray Kroc

This past weekend concluded the regular season of the 2024 PGA season. In the final round, Sahith Theegala took a two-stroke penalty for brushing the sand.

What made this interesting was that he called the penalty on himself. Not a PGA official, not another player, or a fan. Theegala called the two-stroke penalty on himself. By doing so, he finished the round in third place instead of finishing in a tie for second place.

Golf legend Tom Watson said, “Golf is a game of ego, but it is also a game of integrity: the most important thing is you do what is right when no one else is looking.” Theegala’s self-imposed penalty cost him $2.5 million in prize money.

While he lost a substantial sum of money for his actions, in the process he didn’t lose or sell out his integrity.

Leadership expert John Maxwell said, “You build trust with others each time you choose integrity over image, truth over convenience, or honor over personal gain.” His observation is a great reminder of why integrity is such an important part of the DNA of a leader.

As you contemplate the importance of your integrity as a leader, consider these questions for reflection.

Am I the same person in private as I am in public?

As a leader, our actions must be as consistent in private as they are in public. The same leader you see in the coffee shop ought to be the same person in the boardroom. Integrity is not situational as much as it is relational.

Am I making ethical decisions, even when no one will find out if I wasn’t?

Theegala knew the decision he had to make. No one was calling him out on it, there was no protesting the decision – he knew the right thing to do and acted upon it. Our ethics are grounded in our integrity. Who you are when no one is looking says more about your character than when all eyes are upon you.

Am I honorable in the way that I treat others?

Treating people with honor, respect, and integrity is a great qualifier in leadership. It’s living out the Golden Rule of friendship. Your integrity as a leader is not confined to your actions but also your behavior.

Am I clear about my values?

Roy Disney said, “It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” And this is why integrity is so important. Integrity gives you clarity in times of uncertainty and is your guidepost when others are wavering. Click To Tweet

Final Thoughts

Sahith Theegala gave us a lesson in the power of integrity with his actions on the golf course. It was a great reminder that our integrity is not for sale, and doing the right thing even when no one is watching is still an honorable thing to do. Strive to be a leader that values integrity not just in your words, but also in your actions.

Please follow and like us:

The Act of Celebrating Others

Posted August 9, 2024
by admin

Do things for people not because of who they are or what they can do in return, but because of who you are. – Rabbi Harold S. Kushner

The story is told of two shopkeepers who were bitter rivals. The stores were directly across the street from each other, and they would spend each day keeping track of each other’s business. If one got a customer, he would triumphantly smile at his rival.

One night an angel appeared to one of the shopkeepers in a dream and said, “I will give you anything you ask, but whatever you receive, your competitor will receive twice as much. Would you be rich? You can be wealthy, but he will receive twice as wealth. Do you wish to live a long life? You can, but his life will be longer and healthier. What is your desire?” The man frowned, thought momentarily, and said, “Here’s my request: Strike me blind in one eye!”

By contrast, consider the following story of Sir Walter Scott. For years, Scott was the leading literary figure in the British Empire. No one could write as well as he. Then the works of Lord Byron began to appear; their greatness was immediately evident. Soon an anonymous critic praised Byron’s poems in a London paper, declaring that in the presence of these brilliant works of poetic genius, Scott could no longer be considered the leading poet of England. It was later discovered that the unnamed reviewer had been none other than Sir Walter Scott himself.

These two stories typify the choices you have when it comes to leadership and your attitude toward others- especially if they are experiencing more success than you are at the moment.

Leadership expert John Maxwell noted, “There is nothing wrong with competition. The problem for many leaders is that they end up competing against their peers in their own organization in a way that hurts the team and them.” Your challenge as a leader is not to allow your ambition to be an obstacle that causes more harm than good.

As leaders, we usually are quick to celebrate and promote our wins and victories. We are quick with a social media post to share the news. Yet when was the last time you saw a post by a leader celebrating the accomplishment of a colleague or friend? Those posts are few and far between.

Leadership author and speaker Tom Peters said, “Celebrate what you want to see more of”. What a fantastic observation. His quote goes to the heart of a leader’s motives. So let me ask you – what do you celebrate? what do you want to see more of? Here are my top five for what I want to see more of. What makes your list?

I want to see more leaders adding value to those around them.

The thought here comes down to what leadership is all about – adding value to others. This happens when leaders understand the basic premise of leadership in that it’s not about you.

I want to see more leaders building relationships

In the trenches of leadership, there is no substitute for strong and healthy relationships. When your focus as a leader is relational it makes all the difference in the world. I see far too many leaders chasing transactions and not enough pursuing relationships. Click To Tweet

I want to see more leaders embracing servant leadership

The heart of servant leadership is others-centered and takes to heart the question, “What can I do for you?” as opposed to “What can you do for me?”. Servant leaders put the needs of others before their own.

I want to see more followers becoming leaders

The goal of leadership is not to create more followers but to create more leaders. I want to see more leaders being trained, developed, nurtured, and joining the cause of making the world a better place.

I want to see more authenticity in leadership

We live in a time when people are looking for the real deal. Authentic and humble leaders are a rare commodity in today’s world, but given the state of the world right now, I would say it would be a breath of fresh air to see more authentic leaders

Who are you celebrating today?

Please follow and like us:

Renewing a Call For Civility

Posted July 15, 2024July 15, 2024
by admin

Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

As a child of the 1960s growing up in Memphis, Tennessee, I am old enough to remember – ever so vaguely, scenes of President John F. Kennedy’s funeral on our black-and-white television.

A few years later, I distinctly recall being at the Sears crosstown with my family shopping for Easter clothes when the announcement came out over the store speakers telling everyone that the store was closing immediately because a few miles away, Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. had been shot.

I also remember the tragedy that befell presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy who was assassinated in Los Angeles.

I also sadly remember the attempted assassination of President Ronald Reagan.

And now, we have the attempted assassination of former president Donald Trump. Once again, we are a nation divided. I humbly and strongly submit, that we can and should do better – be better. Like you, I am concerned and want to lend my voice in whatever small capacity of influence it brings to reflect on paths forward.

As a person of faith, my worldview is guided by that faith. I am reminded of the words of the Apostle Paul who wrote in Romans 12:18, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peacefully with all.” Paul’s words, if taken to heart, ought to transcend our religious differences, our political differences, our racial differences, etc.

In a world so deeply divided, how do we even come close to living by words of peace and civility? Is it just a pipe dream? Is it even worth trying? Where do we begin? Here are my thoughts on a pathway forward.

Begin with yourself

Before you and I can begin to possibly make a positive difference in our world, it must begin within each individual’s heart and mind. I am accountable for my words and actions. So are you. And in that light, we must set for ourselves a higher standard of discourse. That benchmark is not set based on what we see others do or by what others say, but by our desire to live peacefully with all. You and I don’t answer for the words and actions of others, only our own.

John Maxwell said, “Doing what’s right for the right reasons should be the goal- even if it costs me.” And this is also part of the personal responsibility that we embrace. It may cost us, but we must commit to doing it.

Reflection Question: Will you join me in committing to personal responsibility for your words and actions and in that light, using them for good?

Respect for all

Those of you reading this come from every possible background. We have similarities, we have differences. Above it all, we share a common bond of humanity that transcends it all. Your points of view may not be mine, and my views may not be yours, but our mutual respect should be what defines us. I would like to think that I am a better person because of people in my life with differing views. Yours can be as well. Click To Tweet

Mother Teresa said, “We do not need guns or bombs to bring peace, we need love and compassion.” Living peacefully with all begins with respect for all.

Reflection Question: Do I genuinely show respect for all people and how can I do a better job of showing it?

Take the high road

At some point in time, with all “living peacefully together” intentions embraced, you will not always see eye-to-eye with others and differences will not be reconciled. How you react and move forward is critical.

It’s also important to understand, unfortunately, that there is an element of people who only live with vitriol in their hearts with no intention of being a part of the solution. I get it and I believe you do as well. But this is written for the benefit of those who are tired of the hate and who genuinely want a “more perfect union” that benefits all of us.

To take the high road, we must be on the high road and seek with all of our hearts to lift others there as well.

Reflection Question: Are you willing to take the high road and be a part of the solution to lift others to a more civil discourse despite the differences you have with others?

It begins one heart at a time and it begins with each one of us individually.

Please follow and like us: