leaders – Page 3 – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

What Five Top Leaders Teach us About Mistakes

Posted May 21, 2015
by admin

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. – George Bernard Shaw

Fred Rogers shared a story about a young apprentice who applied to a master carpenter for a job. The older man asked him, “Do you know your trade?” “Yes sir!” the young man replied proudly.

“Have you ever made a mistake?” the older man inquired. “No sir!” the young man answered, feeling certain he would get the job. “Then there’s no way I’m going to hire you,” said the master carpenter, “because when you make one, you won’t know how to fix it.”

Mistakes are as much a part of our lives in leadership as any success. This is so because on the journey to success we make many mistakes. It’s all a part of the learning and the journey. I know I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and then some, how about you?

Churchill wisely observed, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” In the end, it’s not that you will make mistakes or have failures, but it’s all about your response and what you learn when you experience them.

From some of the top thinkers in leadership come words of advice and wisdom to help you put your mistakes in perspective. Here are my five favorites.

John Wooden – “If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”

Wooden’s take on mistakes should encourage all of us. Mistakes are made by “doers” who dare to take risks and accomplish their goals and dreams. Mistakes will not come to the person sitting on the sidelines and who is otherwise disengaged from the race. Setbacks and failures are made by doers like Edison, Ford, Disney, Spielberg, and you. Get in the game, get your hands dirty, and get a few mistakes under your belt. The sooner you do the sooner you will enjoy success.

Steve Jobs – “Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations.”

Steve Jobs characterizes people who make mistakes as “innovators”. Perhaps you’ve never thought of it this way before, but it’s a great perspective. Innovators are those tenacious people who never give up. Regardless of the ridicule, adversity, or circumstances, these innovators will gladly welcome the challenges that come with making mistakes. Your mistakes can either be your fuel and fire, or a bucket of water dashed upon your dreams. When you make mistakes- innovate!

Dale Carnegie – “The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.”

What Carnegie is saying here is that no mistake, setback, or failure is ever in vain if you approach it with the right attitude and learn from it. Essential here is the learning. If you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again you haven’t learned from it. Profiting from your mistakes is when you figure out why the mistake happened and turning that negative experience into a positive one. Your success as a leader is connected to what you learn and applying the lesson.

Les Brown – “Forgive yourself for your faults and mistakes and move on.”

This is such good advice. We’ve all made our fair share of mistakes. But what good would any of us be as leaders if all we did was beat ourselves up because of our mistakes? Success will come to the leader who, after making a mistake, forgives himself/herself and moves on with a renewed purpose and determination to succeed. Don’t wallow in your mistakes, cut yourself some slack, and get moving.

John Maxwell – “The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.”

This is such a powerful truth that all success-minded leaders should embrace. None of us will achieve any level of success without making mistakes, experiencing setbacks, and feeling the sting of failures. But living in a constant state of fear of making a mistake will only impede you from being in the game and trying. Don’t let the fear of failure paralyze you from being fully engaged and ready to compete, and ready to win.

What do you say?

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Why Do The Good Ones Leave?

Posted May 7, 2015
by admin

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams

How is the organizational culture where you work? How is morale? Depending on the day and when asked, the answers can run the gambit of responses and emotions.

A document was discovered in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852. Here are a few of the notices that were posted for a group of employees: 1) This firm has reduced the hours of work, and clerical staff will only have to be present between the hours of 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. weekdays, 2) Now that the hours of business have been drastically reduced, the partaking of food is allowed between 11:30 and noon, but work will not on any account cease, 3) No talking is allowed during business hours, and 4) The craving for tobacco, wine, or spirits is a human weakness, and as such is forbidden to all members of the clerical staff.

Would you like to reconsider your answer about morale in your organization now?

Here’s what we do know from polling and surveys, like this one from Gallup (http://bit.ly/1uUCjpX) that reports employees are just not as engaged as they once were.

It’s been said that people don’t quit organizations, they quit leaders. It’s a sad but true commentary on the lack of leadership skills that are so desperately needed in the workplace.

There are consequences to poor leadership and where it’s not present, people will leave to find it. Inevitably it’s the good employees who leave. Left behind is a weakened and demoralized team forced to pick up the pieces.

But why do the good ones leave? What is the tipping point in which a good employee will cash in the chips and bolt? The specifics vary, of course, but typically the good ones leave for these reasons.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no backbone

This type of leader plays to the crowd and will say whatever he or she thinks you want to hear. The good ones had rather hear the uncomfortable truth than the pleasant sounds of an appeaser. The good ones want a leader who is not afraid to make the difficult decisions.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no vision

The good ones long for and thrive in an environment where the leader has a vision for the future, can articulate it, and sets a course of action that will take them there. The good ones understand that without a clear vision for the future there is no future to be had by staying.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no skin in the game

It will be hard to command the respect of your people if you have no skin in the game as it relates to your organization and its mission. You can’t expect a buy-in from your people if you are not fully invested yourself. The good ones seek to be with leaders who are as passionately invested as they are.

The good ones leave because of leaders who place limits on their potential

The good ones will thrive in a culture of excellence where their hard work and talents are put to best use. The good ones will not sit idly by while the leader plays politics or favorites and be denied the opportunity to advance professionally.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no accountability

The good ones fundamentally understand that accountability and transparency are the cornerstones of success. When a leader no longer feels the need to be transparent or be accountable for his or her actions, then the good ones will not stay. Trust is like glue for the leader, is there is none, people won’t stick.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no boundaries

Ultimately, the leader is responsible for the culture of the organization. If proper boundaries are not being observed and inappropriate behaviors are being tolerated- such as bullying, then the good ones will not stay in that environment.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no integrity

At the end of the day it all comes down to the integrity of the leader. The good ones want their leader to be a person of integrity and one they can trust. If integrity is lacking in the leader then integrity will be lacking in the culture. The good ones will leave to avoid the connection.

Many personal factors contribute to the reasons why the good ones tend to leave and move on. I’ve discovered that it’s not always for the money or a promotion. The good ones understand the wisdom of the words of John Maxwell who once said, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” That’s why the good ones leave- to be with good leaders.

What do you say?

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Random Acts of Leadership

Posted April 30, 2015
by admin

Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and actions. – Harold S. Geneen

In his book, Everyday a Friday, Joel Osteen shares a story about a letter he received in the mail one day during his early days of pastoring. It was during a period of time when he was filled with much self-doubt. The letter was from John Maxwell.

Although at the time they had never met, the letter was filled with words of encouragement and hope. “I watched you on television on Sunday and you were outstanding. I’ve got to tell you, you’ve got what it takes,” Maxwell told him. He also shared suggestions and advice on how to be less nervous and how he prepares for when he speaks.

Regarding the letter, Osteen said, “He had forty years of experience, and he was voluntarily pouring it into a man he’d never even met before. He didn’t have to do that. He’d already won. But John understands this principle: True success is when you reach back and bring somebody along with you.”

That John Maxwell didn’t have to write that letter is a given, that he did write that letter speaks to the power of random acts of leadership.

It’s been said that the soft skills of leadership are the hardest. That may be true. Leaders shoulder a great responsibility and results are important. But it’s as leaders understand that unless you get the soft skills right it will always impede your growth and the productivity of your team.

Striking the right balance in your relational skill set is important. You want and expect your team to be productive without sacrificing the relational skills that create the culture you work and thrive in.

Random acts of leadership follows the principle of random acts of kindness. It’s a leadership philosophy that that revolves around the idea that we are all in this together and when we care for one another we all win.

What does random acts of leadership look like? I submit to you that it’s not complicated. Here are a few ways you can show it.

Give unconditionally

The letter John Maxwell sent to Joel Osteen is a classic example of giving unconditionally. It was unsolicited with no expectation of anything in return. It was just an act of generosity that made a difference. Giving unconditionally is a random act of leadership that says, “I get it. I see your struggle, I’ve been there. I believe in you.” And then you act on it.

Listen attentively

Now and then people just need to vent. They may not need you to be their “answer man” but rather just to listen. For all of its rewards, leadership can be lonely and having a confidant to go to can make a world of difference. Your random act of leadership can simply be taking a friend to lunch and being a sounding board.

Connect intentionally

It is incumbent upon you as a leader to connect with your people. Don’t wait for them to take the first steps – you do it. A good leader initiates. Whether you have been brought together with your people by choice or by coincidence, take the first steps to building the relationship. Connecting intentionally is a random act of leadership that seeks to know, relate, and broaden the circle of influence for everyone.

Praise generously

Nothing can demoralize your people any quicker than work gone unnoticed or a team member not appreciated for their efforts. Understand this: People are your most appreciable asset and how they are treated matters. Random acts of leadership –showing appreciation for a job well done, will go a long way in building that person up and boosting morale in your organization. Be generous in praising your people.

These are but a few of the random acts of leadership that will make a difference. What would you add to the list?

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30 Years Earlier: What I Wish I Knew About Leadership

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. – William Shakespeare

One of the benefits of aging (not that I am old) is attaining a certain amount of wisdom that can be garnered from it. Being able to look back over a certain span of time and reflect on where you’ve come and lessons learned can be instrumental in how you look to the future. Sharing those life lessons to a new generation of leaders can be invaluable.

The late George Burns once said, “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” That’s a great philosophy. But the aging process ultimately takes a toll on all of us.

What are some of the signs that you are getting older? Here are a few I came across that are my favorites: You know you’re getting older when… everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work; the gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals; when you feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere; your children begin to look middle aged; your favorite part of the newspaper is “20 Years Ago Today”; you sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going; and finally, your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

I’ve been reflecting lately on the things about leadership I wish I knew back in my twenties that I now know. If I had understood them better it would have saved me a lot of grief and heartache along the way. Here are a few things about leadership I wish I had known.

I don’t always have to be right.

I know many in their twenties who think they know it all. I was one of them way too often. With the passing of time I have learned how much I don’t know. What I wish I knew back then was that my formal education was only the beginning. The real educational experience began after graduation –it’s called the real world. I wish I knew in my twenties just how little I knew, and that I didn’t always have to be right.

Building bridges is more practical than burning them

I wish I knew in my twenties the depth and breadth of how important relationships are in leadership. Sadly at times, it was a “my way or the highway” attitude that culminated in sad endings. As I’ve grown older the more I understand and care about building healthy relationships. I’ve grown to appreciate connecting with like-minded people and building more bridges between them and others.

Titles don’t mean a lot

What I thought was important in my twenties was acquiring a title- that somehow that validated my leadership. With that was the idea that my position commanded respect, admiration, and approval. I was wrong. In hindsight after 30 years I understand that a position without respect, trust, and integrity are meaningless. I’d stop chasing titles and positions and focus more on serving others.

Forgiveness is a virtue

Taking up the mantle of leadership is risky business. With all of the joys and rewards associated with it, also come disappointments and frustrations. In my twenties when I was wronged it was hard not to take it personal and not hold a grudge. What I wish I had known back then was that my unforgiveness was not hurting the person who offended me, it was hurting me instead. Life is too short to hold grudges and be mad. Forgive and move on. And remember, you will need to be forgiven at some point.

It’s not about me

The narcissism of my twenties has given way to the “selfie” narcissism we see in today’s culture. Back in my twenties, of course, there were no cell phones, internet, Facebook, etc. But the leadership principle remains. What I wish I knew then that I know now is that the ultimate act of my leadership is not what I do for myself but in what I do for others. My leadership is not meant to be self-serving but rather what I can do to add value to the lives of those around me.

One thing is certain–life in leadership is a continual learning process. Wherever you are on your journey, never stop growing.

What lessons have you learned?

* What would you add to the list? I’d really like to hear from you! Please leave your comments and the lessons you’ve learned!

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Three Things Every Leader Needs To Know About Criticism

Posted April 10, 2015
by admin

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things. – Winston Churchill

I came across a story about Grace Coolidge, the wife of President Calvin Coolidge who tried to surprise her husband by having his portrait painted. When it was finished, she hung it in the library of the White House. Later the same morning the President happened to walk into the library accompanied by a senator. They stared at the picture together in silence. Finally Coolidge commented quietly: “I think so, too.”

When you hear the word criticism what is the first thought that comes to your mind? Many take on a defensive posture as it relates to critics. We are quick to defend our words, actions, and decisions.

Often times, however, our growth in leadership does not always come via the praise or accolades of adoring followers. In fact, a lot of it comes during our dark times that are usually quite lonely.

Conventional wisdom says to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. What about critics? Should you keep them at a distance or keep them close? Here are three insights that hopefully will give you some perspective.

Every leader needs a constructive critic

As a leader you will have plenty of critics. Many of them will not be constructive. But when you are committed to your own personal growth and to the success and growth of your people then finding a colleague who can be your constructive critic should not be hard to find.

Your constructive critic is the one who can help you see all sides of an issue, help guide you in your decision making, and cares enough to call you out when needed.

You need constructive critics in your life and you should welcome them in. One constructive critic will be more valuable to you than a room full of “yes people” ever will.

Every leader needs to be accountable

The purpose of a constructive critic is not to make your life miserable but to keep you accountable. A leader should never ascend to the place either in position or in mentality that they are above criticism. We need trusted advisors near us to help us.

I know that many leaders take criticism personal and see those who would dare to criticize as less than loyal, out to cause harm, or advance their own agenda. As a result relationships are strained due to insecurities and people are looked upon with suspicion. It’s a fragmented culture that is hard to reverse.

But when you as a leader set the example for what accountability looks like it can be healthy for the whole organization and it can make a world of difference.

Every leader needs to set the example

John Maxwell said, “Effective leaders know that first you have to touch people’s hearts before you ask them for a hand.” This is a profoundly simple rule of leadership. It’s also, I believe, the springboard of constructive criticism.

As a leader you will give more constructive criticism than you will receive and it’s important to do it right. Constructive criticism will be better received and more effective when it’s born out of a good relationship. If the only time you interact with a person you lead is to be the messenger of how to do something better or to point out something they have done wrong then it will build resentment.

Critics and criticism will be a constant on your leadership journey. Learning the keys to receive it and give it will make you a wiser and more effective leader.

What do you say?

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Hope For Discouraged Leaders

Posted April 3, 2015
by admin

If you are alive and breathing, you can still become everything God has created you to be. – Joel Osteen

In 1858 the Illinois legislature- using an obscure statute- sent Stephen A. Douglas to the U.S. Senate instead of Abraham Lincoln, although Lincoln had won the popular vote. When a sympathetic friend asked Lincoln how he felt, he said, “Like the boy who stubbed his toe: I am too big to cry and too badly hurt to laugh.”

If you hang around in leadership long enough and you will know what discouragement feels like. I’m not trying to depress you but simply stating the obvious. Behind the glittering image and friendly smiles are leaders who face incredible pressures and shoulder responsibilities that can be daunting. Unfortunately, many leaders feel trapped with no one to talk with or vent to due to the “glittering image” that they feel compelled to present to the public.

So let’s be honest. Times of discouragement will come. How you react to it will make all the difference going forward. As a leader, you are not immune from troubles-in fact, you may have more. So how do you keep a proper perspective and come through it on the other side a better leader? Here are three reminders that you need to consider.

You are not alone

Life happens to all of us. It’s not always pretty. As a leader you know this to be true. Disappointments come – you didn’t land that new client, a colleague betrayed you, sales are sluggish – you get the picture.

Here is what you need to know: your disappointment today is preparing you for great opportunities tomorrow. But there’s a catch. It all hinges on your attitude. While bad things can happen to good people; good people turn bad things into great opportunities.

At a young age Walt Disney easily could have been discouraged and given up. He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for “lacking ideas”. He could have taken his rejection and thrown in the towel. But if anything he used that experience to motivate him to greater things – and the rest as they say is history.

So when times of disappoint and discouragement come remember this truth – you are not alone.

You are stronger than you think

One truth I’ve learned over the years is this: you can be defined by life’s moments or you can define life’s moments. So how do you define life’s moments? You do so by choosing faith over fear, forgiveness over resentment, and by embracing God’s view of your life over man’s view. You don’t always have control over what comes your way but you can choose your path going forward.

Thomas Edison experienced one of those defining moments in his career. His lab caught fire and was destroyed. All of his work went up in flames. To add insult to injury, his building was under-insured. It was a devastating and defining moment. How would he respond?

“There is great value in disaster,” said Edison, “all our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” Edison did not choose the fire, but he did choose to define the moment.

Here is the truth to remember: We don’t like adversity and disappointments because we mistakenly believe that we can’t handle it. But I submit that you are stronger than you think and you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Are you ready to define your moment?

You are not defined by your past you are prepared by it

Every experience that you go through is preparation for what’s next. Along the way you have gained valuable experience. Some of it has come easy while at other times you wish you could have a do-over. It’s all part of the learning curve. I’ve been there countless times and I dare say you have as well.

But if you want to move forward as a leader you have to learn to let go of the past – especially the bad, and cut yourself some slack. What’s important is that you have learned your lessons, have peace in your heart, and are stronger as a result.

Discouragement sets in when you see yourself through the lens of a failure rather than through the lens of grace.

Here is the truth you need to remember: you are not the sum of your fears or your mistakes. Your past is your boot camp and it has prepared you for such a time as this.

Times of discouragement will come. But the good news is- it will pass. Stay strong and be encouraged. You are not alone, you are strong, and you are prepared!

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Take Your Leader Down From The Pedestal

Posted March 13, 2015
by admin

Contrary to what you may think, good executives don’t want to be worshipped. – Howard Behar

Everyone has leaders they respect and admire. I know I do. Along my journey I’ve been privileged to meet some rather interesting people. Included on the list are four U.S. Presidents and other political figures, famous athletes, actors, musicians, and authors. Some had large egos while others came across as more grounded and down to earth. While the trajectory of each person’s career path took them to differing places of fame and work they each embraced their talents and made the most of it.

Within your business or organization are leaders who are striving to make a difference. Some may be succeeding on a grand scale while others are struggling to find their way. So what can you do to help your leader, and yourself, in the process? One of the first things I’d suggest you do is this: take your leader down his or her pedestal. Here’s why.

It’s all about perspective. Let’s examine this from your leader’s perspective. If you are worshipping your leader then he or she has two primary concerns they wrestle with, (1) your motives and (2) your loyalty. If you are worshipping your leader and are always kissing-up to them they will always wonder why. In addition, they tie your loyalty to their tenure and not much more.

Now let’s examine things from a different perspective and look inward. So long as you keep your leader on a pedestal you will have two primary conflicts to wrestle with, (1) freely speaking the truth out of fear of repercussion, and (2) the appearance of misplaced priorities. Each struggle has ramifications and if they are holding you back then your pedestal is your greatest obstacle moving forward.

When you take your leader(s) down from the pedestal it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Here’s how you can do it and why it matters.

Embrace their humanity

What most leaders want you to know is that they are surprisingly human. They have the same struggles, concerns, hopes and dreams as everyone else in the office. Just like you, your leader is not perfect and makes mistakes. Instead of being overly critical perhaps you can be a little more forgiving. So long as you idolize your leader because of their position and not as a person then you fail to see what is most important to them. At the end of the day they’d rather not be above you, they would prefer to be beside you.

Welcome authenticity

Once you take your leader(s) down from the pedestal then authenticity and transparency can begin. So long as you look at your leader through rose-colored glasses then it’s hard to move forward in a meaningful way. Open and honest working relationships include the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s a natural by-product of being human. What makes you an adult is the way you work through the difficult times and come out on the other side with something to celebrate. An authentic leader will respect you more if you idolize them less.

Build community

Once you embrace the humanity of your leader(s) and welcome authenticity then building community is the reward. Most leaders want to build a team of committed and like-minded people who share the same vision and will work passionately to get there. So long as your leader is on a pedestal being idolized, or in a worse-case scenario – feared, then community will suffer. Your collective strengths and weaknesses form a powerful combination of all the skills you need to do great things. But it won’t happen until shoulder to shoulder you are working together in community as a team.

Taking your leader down from the pedestal is not about abolishing lines of authority or diminishing your respect. Ultimately, it’s about how to move out of an “idol” status with your leader to something more beneficial.

What do you say?

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Five Excuses That Kill Accountability with guest co-author Elizabeth Stincelli

Posted February 19, 2015
by admin

“The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.” – Steve Maraboli

As a leader there are few things more important than creating a strong and healthy organizational culture for your employees to thrive in. It’s up to you as the leader to be proactive and take the lead in developing the organizational climate you wish to have.

Unfortunately, many harmful behaviors threaten the fabric of the culture that you are trying to create. These behaviors include bullying, manipulation, office politics, etc., and they each pose a real threat. But there is one in particular that we would like to address – so here is our question: Is a victim mentality preventing accountability in your organization?

No doubt there are accountability measures in place within your organization that serve to track performance and measure each person’s progress. Accountability measures are healthy and necessary and keep everyone focused on shared goals and outcomes.

But what happens when a team member perpetuates a victim mentality? What does it sounds like? Here are five common claims that will give you some insight.

It’s not fair

The “it’s not fair” mantra is perhaps the oldest one in the book. It can be used when an employee feels that his or her work has gone unnoticed, was passed over for a raise or promotion, or has made an improper comparison of the value of their work in relation to a colleague. Whether justified or not, this feeling of being on the receiving end of unfair treatment is a source of concern. As a leader it is up to you to address it. Accountability makes sense when each person on the team has a clear picture of the value they bring to the organization. Don’t let an employee’s feelings of being slighted go unanswered. When they see and understand their importance they will not see accountability as a threat.

Finger pointing

Finger pointing is so destructive because it’s so easy. It’s the first gesture of the least accountable. Yet sadly, the blame game is alive and well. But clear expectations of employee performance along with useful accountability guidelines will go a long way toward bringing an end to finger pointing and fault-finding. As a leader, you must take ownership of these expectations. When employees can build a collaborative team environment around the idea that “we are in this together”, it can unleash everything that is good and creative about your people. Finger pointing now gives way to mutual accountability, and fault-finding takes a back seat to an “I’ve got your back” mentality. Which would you rather have?

It’s Not My Job

When employees have the mindset that they are only responsible for specific, outlined tasks, it is easy for them to dodge accountability with the simple statement, ‘it’s not my job’. The most effective organizations are the ones where everyone has the opportunity to make an impact. As a leader, you must create a culture of collaboration and teamwork where everyone feels they have a vested interest in the outcome. Let employees see you roll up your sleeves and do what needs to be done regardless of your formal job description. Achieve accountability by replacing the mindset of ‘it’s not my job’ with ‘I benefit when everyone participates as a whole’.

Feeling Powerless

Employees will not take accountability for decisions or tasks which they feel they have no control over. As a leader, you must provide employees with pertinent information and encourage them to ask questions. Then, give them the power to make decisions and design how their work gets done. Accountability will increase dramatically when employees are given power and control over their own work.

Denying Responsibility

Employees often deny responsibility out of fear or frustration. They fear the repercussions for failure or they are frustrated by a lack of clear expectations and control over their work. As a leader, you must create a team mentality. Help employees understand that when one team member fails to carry their weight, they drag down the performance of the whole team. Inspire in them shared values and clearly communicate expectations. Teach problem solving and creative conflict resolution skills throughout your organization. Increase accountability by removing the fear of failure and building employee confidence by giving them a sense of control.

As a leader, it is your responsibility to develop a culture that encourages accountability and discourages a victim mentality. If your employees willingly accept accountability for their decisions and actions, your organizational effectiveness will skyrocket.

*Elizabeth Stincelli is passionate about recognizing and inspiring the leader in each of us. She is the CEO of Stincelli Advisors where she focuses on helping organizations engage employees and improve organizational culture. Elizabeth holds a Doctor of Management degree with an emphasis on organizational leadership. Learn more about Elizabeth by visiting her website, stincelliadvisors.com You can contact her by email at [email protected].

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Are You a Leader With an Identity Crisis?

Posted February 13, 2015
by admin

Getting in touch with your real self must be your first priority. – Tom Hopkins

A story is told of the renowned artist Paul Gustave Dore who lost his passport while traveling in Europe. When he came to a border crossing, he explained his predicament to one of the guards. Giving his name to the official, Dore hoped he would be recognized and allowed to pass.

The guard, however, said that many people attempted to cross the border by claiming to be persons they were not. Dore insisted that he was the man he claimed to be. “All right,” said the official, “we’ll give you a test, and if you pass it we’ll allow you to go through.” Handing him a pencil and a sheet of paper, he told the artist to sketch several peasants standing nearby. Dore did it so quickly and skillfully that the guard was convinced he was indeed who he claimed to be. His work confirmed his word.

It cannot be overstated how important your identity is as a leader. If you have a false sense of identity it will create a void in your leadership that will hurt you. Understanding your identity is Leadership 101 but if you don’t get this you will pay a price.

Are you a leader with an identity crisis? Here are three ways to find out.

You rely on your title instead of your values

This is a common mistake with new leaders. Leaders who do this tend to overplay their hand because they think their title or position carries enough clout to lead. This approach is an identity crisis waiting to happen. Here’ why.

When your values and character take a back seat to a title or position then it’s likely that you will wash out at some point. In, The 5 Levels of Leadership, John Maxwell states, “Your values are the soul of your leadership and they drive your behavior.” And this is the crux of your identity. Better to hold tight to your values than try to muscle your way to the top without them.

Key takeaway: In the end, what defines you as a leader is not your title or position; it’s your character and values. Whenever you confuse the two you are having an identity crisis.

You rely on rules instead of relationships

Leaders who rely squarely on their title as a means to enforce their rules tend to miss the big picture about relationships. Its been said that rules without relationships breeds rebellion. And when you are more concerned about dictating rules and regulations than you are about building relationships then you are a leader with an identity crisis. Here’s why this matters.

People tend to follow leaders they like and respect. If your people only see you as the office Sherriff and not someone they can relate to on a personal level then you are depreciating your potential as a leader. At the end of the day your people want a leader they can relate to not one that they fear.

Key takeaway: When you are heavy on relationships you can be light on the rules. Now you can devote your time and energy to what matters most – your people and your shared success.

You rely on receiving instead of giving

The magnitude and duration of your identity crisis in leadership is contingent upon learning these basic tenants. In short; it’s not about you. The depth, length, and reach of your leadership will never be measured by what you receive but by what you give. Here’s why it matters.

Leaders are givers. True leadership is about reproducing and raising up more leaders – not more followers. When this truth comes to light it creates a paradigm shift in your thinking, your actions, and your motives. J. Donald Walters expressed it this way, “Leadership is an opportunity to serve. It is not a trumpet call to self-importance.” Do the math: Creating more followers is about addition. Creating more leaders is about multiplication.

Key takeaway: Be generous. Don’t measure your success as a leader by accolades or plaques, but by how you invested your time, talents, and treasure in the lives of those you served.

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The Two Faces of Conflict

Posted February 6, 2015
by admin

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. – Thomas Paine

A story is told of two men who lived in a small village that got into a terrible dispute. They could not resolve it so they decided to talk to the town sage. The first man went to the sage’s home and told his version of what happened. When he finished, the sage said, “You’re absolutely right.” The next night, the second man called on the sage and told his side of the story. The sage responded, “You’re absolutely right.” Afterward, the sage’s wife scolded her husband. “Those men told you two different stories and you told them they were absolutely right. That’s impossible, they can’t both be absolutely right.” The sage turned to his wife and said, “You’re absolutely right.”

Leaders know a thing or two about conflict. And most don’t like it. But conflict or “storming” as I once heard it described, can be beneficial if handled the right way. Much of what you hear in leadership or management circles focuses on conflict “resolution” which is based largely off the belief that conflict is always harmful. But is it? Can an organization embrace a healthy form of conflict that works for the organization in a positive way? I believe so. Here are two key lessons about conflict and their characteristics that you need to know.

The conflict that divides us

There is no denying that unresolved conflict can be very detrimental to an organization. But a greater question needs to be addressed. Do you want the conflict to go away as quick as possible because it makes you uncomfortable or do you want to get to the root of the problem? A Band-Aid approach will not help you in the long run. What are some of the characteristics of the conflict that divides us? Here are a few:

Clashing values. One of the most significant causes of conflict that divides organizations happens over clashing values. When values are not clear, not embraced, or are compromised then the end result will be unhealthy conflict.
Personal agendas. If the people within your organization place their personal agendas over the mission of the organization then conflict that divides will exist. If your people are score-keepers and are only interested in what’s in it for them then perpetual conflict will ruin your organization.
Lack of trust. Most conflict that divides any organization at its root is a trust issue. If team members do not feel they can trust each other- or their leader, then conflict is inevitable. Conflict is the language of lost trust.

The conflict that unites us

As already mentioned, I do not believe all conflict is harmful. If we do not understand the source of conflict that divides us we will have a hard time understanding conflict that can unite us. So how do we make the connection and rally around conflict or ‘storming’ that can bring us together? Here are a few ways:

Mutual trust and respect. It all comes back to trust. If conflict that divides is the language of lost trust then mutual trust and respect is the language that unites us. Values must be clear, mutual, and fully subscribed to in order to move forward as a unified team. Honesty is the key word for conflict that unites.
A focus on what’s best for the team. When personal agendas are set aside for what is best for the organization then every ‘storming’ session is about what’s best for all of us rather than just one. The airing out of ideas then becomes team focused which creates an atmosphere where, because of trust, a free-flow of best ideas can be voiced and no one is threatened. Differences of opinion or approach are now welcomed because no one is questioning motives. It can breathe new life into your organization and creativity can flourish.
Principled leadership. “Everything rises and falls on leadership,” says John Maxwell. It is incumbent upon leaders to position their organizations in a way that fosters healthy conflict by means of mutual trust and respect and open communication. Values must be clear and everyone must be engaged.

Healthy conflict can thrive within your organization but it won’t happen unless there is a principled leader in place who understands the difference. Not all conflict is harmful and not all of it is helpful, but hopefully now you have a better understanding of the two.

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