Six Ways to Rise Above Your Critics

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To escape criticism- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

A story is told of Winston Churchill and his extraordinary integrity in the face of opposition. During his last year in office, he attended an official ceremony. Several rows behind him two gentlemen began whispering. “That’s Winston Churchill. They say he is getting senile. They say he should step aside and leave the running of the nation to more dynamic and capable men.” When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned to the men and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf.”

Critics. Every leader has them and every leader will. How you respond to critics is an important component of your leadership development. It’s all too easy to get defensive when critics rub us the wrong way or misunderstand us. But can you appreciate a critic when he or she is right? Rising above your critics takes courage. Here are six ways to do it.

Keep a positive attitude.

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude,” is a famous Zig Ziglar quote. How high and how far you go as a leader will be determined by your attitude. Nothing will give you a bad attitude any quicker than a wrong reaction to a critic. Basic things you will want to know regarding a critic are the source, the accuracy, the ramifications, and your reaction – if there even needs to be one. Regardless, stay positive and focused on the big picture.

Stay true to your values.

Don’t allow your critics to throw you off of your game. Stay grounded and connected to the values that have guided you to where you are. Values do not change but are guideposts when your circumstances do. The values and principles that brought you to where you are will keep you there so handle your critics with that in mind.

Speak no evil.

Seriously? Yes. Engaging in mud-slinging with your critics only hurts you in the long run. Unless what they have spoken or done is libelous then don’t waste your time in a verbal battle. Be content in knowing that the truth is on your side. There is no greater satisfaction than in knowing that you can look yourself in the mirror and lay your head down at night with a peace that comes from knowing you did the right thing regardless of how others behaved.

Don’t retaliate.

There will be times when you will want (and those close to you) to retaliate against critics. There is something about human nature that wants to fight back and get revenge and settle the score. I get it. But again, the end result will never be good for you. As hard as it may be there are times when you just have to let it go. Don’t worry if you lose a battle today, you are going to win the war if you keep your heart right.

Give them more ammo.

Most of the critics you will encounter are simply those who have some kind of vendetta or jealousy directed toward you. As opposed to stooping down to their level why not give them more ammo? As you do the right thing by continuing to work hard, and by exhibiting good leadership, you will only become more successful. Nothing will annoy your critics more than your continued success.

Don’t lose your sense of humor.

One of the most important leadership skills you can develop is a sense of humor. Churchill exhibited it towards the men who spoke ill of him. Bill Cosby said, “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” Your critics will stir up a wide range of emotions and reactions that you will want to run with. But when you can learn to laugh – at them, and at yourself, half the battle is won.

What do you say?

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

I welcome Your Feedback:

1. Of the six ways to handle critics which one stood out the most for you?

2. What would you add to the list?

3. In your experiences what has been the best way you’ve dealt with critics?

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Leadership Minute: Are You Contributing?

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Life is not about accumulation, it is about contribution – Stephen Covey

Great leaders understand this. Many leaders starting out make the mistake of thinking that the end game is about what you accumulate; wealth, power, position, etc. But your significance as a leader is not defined by those characteristics. How are you contributing? This is the essential and greater question of your leadership. It’s not about what you are gathering but rather in what you are giving. And once you settle the issue of how you can contribute and add value to those around you then the other less important things will take care of themselves. Focus on ways in which you can be more generous and add value to others. After all, you are not going to take anything with you. It’s what you leave behind that matters most.

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Leadership Minute: Show Respect

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Respect for ourselves guides our morals; respect for others guides our manners. – Laurence Sterne

One of the most noble leadership skills you can have and develop is that of respect. Respect for yourself establishes your guiding principles and sets the course for your leadership style. On that count, respect is very important. Once established internally you then begin to lead externally from those values. A great leader is a respectful leader. Clearly you will not like everyone, nor will you always approve of other people’s actions, but respect for them sets the framework for how you deal with them. Respect establishes your credibility as a leader and is the origin of your manners. Your leadership style will make you or break you. When respect is your guiding light you can’t go wrong.

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The Selfie Generation: A Call to the Renewal of Servant Leadership

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A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. – Lao Tzu

In 0.2 seconds after typing the word “selfies” into the Google search engine more than 17 million results turned up. To say that we live in a narcissist generation is obviously an understatement.

For those of you who have been visiting another planet and are not up to speed on what a selfie is let me introduce you to the phenomenon. Selfies, as defined by the Urban Dictionary are, “pictures taken of oneself while holding the camera at arm’s length.” In recent months it has become the trendy thing to do and mimic since the likes of Ellen and other celebrities have turned it more into a fun fad.

While on the surface there is nothing wrong with selfies (yes, I have taken one or two myself) there is a broader or deeper prevailing issue I’d like to explore as it relates to leadership styles. To be clear, in this writing my reference to selfies is a depiction of self-indulged leaders and not about the practice as defined in the Urban Dictionary. My concern is that with the rise of the selfie generation we are in danger of losing sight of the meaning and relevance of servant leadership.

A leadership pyramid I studied some years back by John Maxwell showed that the higher one climbs as a leader the more rights he or she surrenders. In its place is more responsibility. My concern is how less rights and more responsibility fits the narrative of a selfie culture. How do servant leaders emerge from this mindset? How do selfie leaders measure up against servant leaders? Here are but a few examples.

Selfie leaders choose style whereas servant leaders choose substance.

For the selfie type of leader it’s all about their image. Decisions are made and based upon not what’s best for the organization or team but how it makes him or her look. It’s a leadership trap to be sure. Everyone wants to be liked and to be popular, but servant leaders gave up that right a long time ago. Servant leaders will stand for and with those who choose substance over image. In the end it’s about honoring their principles over their popularity. The servant leader sets the example with his integrity.

Selfie leaders are more concerned about receiving while servant leaders care more about giving.

Nothing will more clearly define and set the two apart more readily than this. The selfie  leader is all about what’s in it for him while the servant leader is about giving. It’s all in the math. The selfie subtracts (takes) while the servant leader adds (gives). It’s a reflection of the heart and priorities. The servant leader sets the example not by what he takes but by what he sacrifices and gives.

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Chart is courtesy of: Developing the Leader Within You, by John Maxwell.

Selfie leaders care more about their position while servant leaders care more about their people.

There is no substitute for the human equation in leadership. Positions come and go, but at the end of the day the servant leader who cares less about his title and more about his people is the one who will survive. Selfie leaders can’t help themselves. Eventually it all comes back around to them. Selfie leaders will do whatever it takes to protect that which matters least (position or title) while using the people who matter the most. It’s a sad trap many aspiring leaders fail to see. The servant leader sets the example by modeling humility.

Max de Pree said, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” I believe this leadership philosophy is needed today and is a blueprint for the future. Servant leadership is not about being a weak leader but rather a strong and convincing one. The ultimate measure of a leader’s power is not found in the authority that he or she is willing to grab hold of but in what they are willing to lay down.  It’s not determined by demanding more rights but in assuming more responsibility.

I believe now more than ever in the power of servant leadership. What do you say?

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

 

I welcome your feedback:

1. What do you believe are the biggest barriers to servant leadership today?

2. Are the selfie leaders as described here more the norm or the exception in your opinion?

3. What tangible things can you do to help build a servant leadership mentality?

 

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Leadership Minute: Get Along

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The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people. – Theodore Roosevelt

Knowing how to get along with people is essential in leadership. Building relationships based on trust and respect is necessary if you want to get things done. While it may a stretch to like everyone or for everyone to like you it is a game-changer if don’t know how to get along with others. You develop your leadership skills when you develop your relationship skills. At times you will have to separate the personal from the professional in order to move forward. And the person you think is not your friend now in the long run may be the one to surprise you down the road. The point here is simple: you can get more done and will be more productive when you learn to build bridges to other people instead of burning them. Get along to get ahead.

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Leadership Minute: Trust Your Inner Voice

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Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. – Steve Jobs

As a leader you will get plenty of opinions from others. Some you will ask for but most will be unsolicited. It goes with the territory. Well- meaning people will tell you what you should have done or what you should do but ultimately you have to listen to your own inner voice. It’s God’s way of speaking to you. There comes a time when you have to take that step of faith and trust your instincts. Eventually, you have to learn how to trust that voice and when necessary stand in defiance of other people’s opinions. Your growth as a leader comes when you learn how to tune out counterproductive opinions, embrace the good ones, and only entertain positive thoughts. Be confident in your abilities, trust your intuition, and listen to that inner voice.

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Ten Things Every Leader Should Always Teach

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Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. – Benjamin Franklin

At school one day a little boy was asked what he was thankful for. The boy replied, “My glasses.” “That’s good,” said the teacher, “they help you see better.”

“No,” responded the child, “I’m thankful for my glasses because they keep the other boys from hitting and fighting with me and the girls from kissing me.”

While perhaps not the reason the teacher had expected to hear, the little boy made his point. As leaders we’ve all benefited from good teachers that have shaped our lives. As a leader you are now in that role and the life lessons you share are just as important.

John Maxwell said, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” This is one of your functions as a leader. While it may not be in a formal classroom setting it is teaching nonetheless and the lessons are important. Here are ten lessons every leader should always be teaching. It’s not an exhaustive list but these are essential.

How to give praise.

Just as students tend to respond better to praise the same holds true with your team members. When the people in your business or organization receive praise and encouragement from you they come away with the sense that you have their backs. Give them praise and give it generously.

How to listen.

This is one of the most important skills that you will develop as a leader. Many leaders like to talk but you will be a more effective leader when you learn to listen and hear what others have to say. From what you learn you can make better and more informed decisions.

How to say no.

While listening may be one of the most important things to teach saying no will be one of the hardest. Many good ideas from well-meaning people will come across your desk. Be it the timing, the budget, or some other factor, sometimes the answer is no. How you say no is important. Take the time to explain why.

How to work hard.

Your team members will learn more from your example than by your words. If you want them to work hard then they need to see you work hard. Leadership by example is not just a cliché it is real and practical. When they see that you have skin and sweat in the game they will join you.

How to let things go.

As a leader you will face many challenges and many frustrations. People get on your nerves and rub you the wrong way. You have pressures, deadlines, and disappointments. Teach your team how to let things go and not get so stressed out over every little obstacle that comes your way. Not everything you set out to do is always going to go according to plan. But that’s okay. Let it go.

How to confront.

This is one of the least favorite things a leader has to do. We’d much rather be giving out praise. But there are those times as a leader when you must confront others for whatever reason. How you confront needs to be a teachable moment that shows how to be firm, how to be fair, and that you have accountability measures in place that you are not afraid to enforce. How you do it is just as important as why you do it.

How to say thank you.

This one simple act can make a world of difference. Why it’s hard at times for leaders to do I am not sure. But if you want to see the atmosphere in your office or organization improve then take the time to thank those around you for all of their hard work. And while you are at it – make it personal. Hand-written notes are especially nice.

How to forgive.

Hang around in leadership long enough and you will understand the power of forgiveness. You will learn about the necessity of giving it and receiving it. The point is simply this – life is too short to hold grudges and hold on to resentments. Forgive others and move on.

How to set priorities.

Jim Rohn said, “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” People in your organization need to see that you have a set of priorities that you live by – family, faith, work etc. You teach priorities by your routines and time management. What’s important to you is given priority. It’s that simple.

How to delegate.

Delegation is the key to your success and that involves everyone in the process. Delegation is not just by divvying up work for the sake of having something to do. It’s about matching the right people with the right skills to maximize productivity and results. You were not meant to do it all by yourself. Delegate your way to success.

What do you say?

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

 

I welcome your feedback:

1. What lesson stood out to you the most? Why?

2. What lessons would you add to this list?

3. What are some practical ways you can begin to implement some of these lessons right away?

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Leadership Minute: Raise Expectations

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If I had asked my customers what they wanted they would have told me, “A faster horse.” – Henry Ford

One of your challenges as a leader will be in raising the expectations of those around you. People tend to be creatures of habit and can be quite comfortable with the status quo. Challenging for any leader is the ability to cast vision high enough and realistic enough that people can catch on without being overwhelmed. You can raise expectations for a better future by making the case, showing the way, and explaining the advantages. Sometimes people around you settle for what they have because no one has shown them a better way. Your leadership should inspire others to reach for new heights, look beyond their present circumstances, and believe that they can achieve on a higher level. You can raise their expectations as you raise your expectations. Don’t just settle – go higher!

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Leadership Minute: Happy Trails to You

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Some of the best views are found at the end of the most challenging trails. – Mark Sanborn

The trails for leaders are seldom easy. They can be hard and treacherous. Sometimes you will walk alone when others take the path of least resistance. After all, if being a leader was so easy everyone would be one. But if you will stay focused, committed, and disciplined you will reap the rewards others only dream about. Don’t worry when the trail seems too hard or too long. You are not where you are by accident. Have faith that you are the right person, in the right place, doing exactly what you were destined to do. At the end of the trail your view will be uniquely yours and all of the sacrifices made along the way will be worth it. Happy trails!

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Leadership Minute: Value Added Leaders

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Few things will increase the credibility of leaders more than adding value to the people around them. – John Maxwell

Adding value to the people around you is one of the privileges of leadership. But value can only be added where respect is given.  It’s easy to add value to those we like and are friends with. But what about that difficult person whom you had rather avoid? Until we begin to recognize and give value to everyone regardless of how difficult it may be we are marginalizing our credibility. There is good to be found in everyone and everyone needs to be lifted up. Look for tangible ways to add value to the people around you and watch your credibility rise. Don’t withhold that compliment, that affirmation, or that word of encouragement. Your one word of encouragement could be all it takes to turn things around for a struggling friend. Be a leader of added value.

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