Fear – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Cracked Mirrors: Embracing Your Humanity as a Leader

Posted October 2, 2015
by admin

“Out flew the web and floated wide; The mirror crack’d from side to side; ‘The curse is come upon me,’ cried The Lady of Shalott.” (From “The Lady of Shalott” by Alfred Lord Tennyson)

We all enjoy reading the stories of the likes of Thomas Edison, Walt Disney, Steve Jobs, Steven Spielberg, and others who in spite of their setbacks and failures overcame their obstacles. The names and their accomplishments are too numerous to mention in this space. Suffice to say, all such stories are inspiring and serve as a source of encouragement and how that no amount adversity can overtake us if we persevere.

But I’d like to address a more personal issue as it pertains to our leadership. We are familiar with the personal characteristics of leadership that we strive for such as integrity, loyalty, trust, etc. But how do we reconcile our desire to live up to these virtues of leadership while embracing our humanity at the same time?

John Maxwell said, “A man must be big enough to admit his mistakes, smart enough to profit from them, and strong enough to correct them.” And this is the challenge of personal leadership. The question is not whether we will fail, have errors in judgment, offend people, or otherwise not live up to our best as a leader. In short- we’re human. So here are a few tips going forward as you look at that cracked mirror of leadership.

Embrace your humanity

By embracing your humanity you are acknowledging that you are not perfect. As such you are also acknowledging that you are vulnerable and susceptible to shortcomings like anyone else. But this is not meant to be an “out” for bad behavior. As such you should have safeguards in place and surround yourself with trusted confidants to hold you accountable.

Be quick to forgive

Hang around in leadership long enough and you will come to know the value of forgiveness. As a leader you know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of criticism- fair or not. Life is just too short to hold grudges. In as much as you should forgive others their faults, be sure along the way to forgive yourself for the times you have blown it. And don’t be afraid to ask for it. When I understand the depth of forgiveness I need as a leader it’s much easier for me to look upon others through the lens of grace.

Keep the bar set high

That we as leaders may have come up short at times is no reason to lower the bar of excellence. Character still matters and striving to be better should be foremost in our endeavors. Don’t allow past mistakes to knock you off course. Don’t allow past failures to define you. Keep the bar set high and when you fall short don’t be discouraged. Your mistakes will overtake you only when you give up.

Walk humbly

Some might argue that walking humbly as a leader does not fit into the modern definition or understanding of leadership. Walking humbly is not abdicating your authority as a leader or otherwise exerting weakness. If anything, it’s the opposite.

Rick Warren said, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it’s thinking of yourself less.” Walking humbly is living each day with an awareness of my humanity with the understanding of my dependence upon my faith to form me and my friends to complete me. It’s lived out when I realize the leader I want to be tomorrow is being shaped by my actions today. Do we fall short? Yes. But what we see in the cracked mirror is more bearable when we face the truth.

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Three Fears That Shape Your Leadership

Posted July 13, 2014
by admin

One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of the great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do. – Henry Ford

The story is told of two explorers who were on a jungle safari when suddenly a ferocious lion jumped in front of them. “Keep calm” the first man whispered. “Remember what we read in that book on wild animals? If you stand perfectly still and look the lion in the eye, he will turn and run.” “Sure,” replied his companion. “You’ve read the book, and I’ve read the book. But has the lion read the book?”

What’s your phobia? For some it’s a fear of heights, or flying. For others it may be riding in an elevator, speaking in public, or Friday the 13^th. For me, it’s spiders. I can handle most anything you throw my way, but for some reason spiders creep me out.

You will face many challenges as a leader. One the best discoveries to make on your leadership journey is that some of the things you were afraid of were, in fact, nothing to be afraid of at all. It’s as you grow and gain confidence in your talents and abilities that you can look back on some of your unfounded fears and smile. So what fears can actually make you a better leader? Here are three for your consideration.

The fear of thinking too big – This fear is rooted in the “what if?” mentality.

Donald Trump said, “I like thinking big. If you’re going to be thinking anything, you may as well think big.” That’s the rub with some leaders. They had rather play it safe with small thinking. After all, small thinking equals small risks. But big thinking requires big risks and big sacrifices. And did I mention the issue of pride? After all, as the logic goes, how would it look if I failed?

Let me ask you the question that’s been around for a while. What would you attempt if you knew that you could not fail? Leaders who think big had rather fail at attempting something big than succeed at something small. You overcome this fear of thinking too big with hard work and dedication. Don’t let the fear of thinking too big hold you back. Embrace your big ideas, goals, and dreams and see where they take you.

The fear of overestimating your potential – This fear is rooted in a “who me? mentality.

This is a fear that causes you to think too little of your gifts, talents, and leadership abilities. If you ever buy-in to the notion that you are not meant to be where you are, doing what you are doing, and possessing the skills to be there, you will never reach your full potential.

Winston Churchill said, “Continuous effort, not strength or intelligence- is the key to unlocking our potential.” Your potential is always fluid as you continue to grow. Your level of potential today is not the same as it was five years ago simply based on your growth. The bar will be higher five years out as your growth pattern continues. The key here is to have faith in your abilities and to never entertain negative thoughts or attitudes that would hold you back. Your potential will be unlimited when you take the limits off your potential.

The fear of empowering others – This fear is rooted in the “why them?” mentality.

Every smart leader understands the impact and importance of empowered teams. Empowered teams are more productive, create positive energy, and build morale in ways you can’t do when individuals are isolated from one another. But a fear of empowering others can undercut that culture and progress.

The fear of empowering others likely has less to do with your team than it does with your own insecurities or fear of not being in control. Whatever the reason; it’s a hindrance to your progress and success. But when you shed that fear and believe in your people, you can unleash your team to do what they were meant to do. Empowering others begins as you overpower your fears.

Every leader faces fear. That’s common. How you respond to your fear will determine the shape of your leadership. Don’t be afraid to think big, be confident in yourself and your abilities, and empower others. When you do fear can’t win.

I welcome your feedback:

1. What fears have held you back on your journey as a leader?

2. How can you work to overcome them?

3. How can you help others overcome their fears?

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Facing Down Your Fears

In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure. – Bill Cosby

A story is told of two explorers who were on a jungle safari when suddenly a ferocious lion jumped in front of them. “Keep calm” the first explorer whispered. “Remember what we read in that book on wild animals? If you stand perfectly still and look the lion in the eye, he will turn and run.” “Sure,” replied his companion, “You’ve read the book, and I’ve read the book. But has the lion read the book?”

Most leaders I know are familiar with fear. Not that they live in a constant state of fear or paranoia, but it is a part of the leadership experience that defines them. Fear will either motivate you or it will dishearten you. How you choose to react to the fears you face will determine its effect on you.

Your success as a leader will come when you embrace your fears and turn them into positives. Do you know what your fears are? Are you willing to confront them? Until you honestly confront them you will never overcome them. So what are the most common forms of fear for leaders? Let’s look at two and their surprising connections.

Two Common Fears:

Fear of failure

Every business person, entrepreneur, athlete, leader, etc. has a desire to be successful. Regardless of how that success is measured the desires are still the same. But a fear of failure is the most commonly shared fear that prevents those dreams from being fulfilled. If left unchallenged it will always hold you back.

Often the fear of failure is a pride issue. The rationale is rooted in what others will say or think if you try something and fail. Certainly other considerations are at stake such as financial, etc. but fear of failure will ground you every time.

Fear of rejection

Besides a fear of failure the fear of rejection is an all too common fear that many struggle with. When the humiliation of rejection is a more powerful deterrent than the potential for success then fear has won. So what happens? People hold back. They sit out. They allow fear to dictate their decisions.

Like your attitude, fear is a neutral emotion that is turned into something good or bad depending on how you respond. Healthy attitudes and fears can serve you well if you use them properly. So what is the connection?

Two Common Connections:

While countless examples could illustrate the point let’s look at two. These people embody what can happen when we allow our fears to motivate us rather than discourage us.

A famous “failure”

He first went into politics at the age of 23. He ran for a seat in the Illinois General Assembly. He lost. He later ran a General Store. It failed. But today, not too many people look back upon those events and use them to label the 16^th President of the United Sates as a failure. Abraham Lincoln is recognized as one of our most beloved presidents in history. He experienced failure, but he was not a failure. And he did not allow those failures to define him.

A famous “reject”

He dropped out of high school and applied to attend three film schools but was unsuccessful due to his C grade average. But if you have been entertained by such movies as E.T., Jurassic Park, Schindler’s List, Saving Private Ryan, and many more, then you’d agree with me and the critics that Steven Spielberg is one of the greatest film directors of all time. Spielberg was rejected, but he was not a reject. He didn’t allow his setbacks to hold him back.

The connection between fear and success comes down to this: every successful movie director, politician, athlete, entrepreneur, etc. have all faced their fears and have overcome them. Your success as leader will not be characterized by an absence of fear but by what you did with it.

Denis Waitley said, “Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.”

Do you have fears? Welcome to the club. It’s time to roll up your sleeves, dig deep, and stare them down. Don’t allow your fears to hold you back, turn them into stepping stones to take you to the places you want to go.

I welcome your feedback:

1. What fear do you struggle with the most?

2. What steps can you take to change the way you look at fear?

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