Critics – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

When Critics Come Calling (Part 1)

Posted August 6, 2020
by admin

Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing – Aristotle

In a Peanuts cartoon Linus is curled up in a chair, reading a book, while Lucy stands behind him with a funny look on her face. Lucy then says, “It’s very strange. It happens just by looking at you.”

“What happens?” Linus asks.

Lucy calmly answers, “I can feel a criticism coming on.”

Criticism. It’s the constant companion of leaders. Hang around long enough and you will come to know this truth about leadership. Click To Tweet

“No leader lives a day without criticism,” said J. Oswald Sanders, “and humility will never be more on trial than when criticism comes.”

What about you? What’s been your experience? How have you dealt with criticism?

Let’s look at three common reactions when critics come calling.

We take it personally

Most leaders I know have a deep sense of pride in their work and otherwise like to think of themselves as good leaders. When critics come calling, it’s a normal reaction to take it personally and get defensive.

Another consideration is the source of the critic. While it can be easy to brush it off as petty behavior from a disgruntled colleague, it especially hurts when it comes from someone we once considered close.

While this is a common reaction, it may not always be the most healthy reaction. More about that later.

We retaliate

A sure sign that we have taken the critics too seriously is that we retaliate. We justify ourselves by pointing out the faults of the accuser. How many times have you, or someone you know gone down this road? How did that work out?

The trap here, if you go down this road, is now you have entered into an unhealthy game of comparison. In order to justify your hurt ego, you now have to engage on the level of the critic in an unhealthy way. Now, by your act of retaliation, you have escalated the situation whereby making amends becomes more difficult because you allowed your bruised feelings to get in the way.

While this may make you feel good in the short-term, you have now put up barriers and slowed any chance of reconciliation.

We put up walls

Among these three common reactions, this is perhaps the most destructive to your leadership. And this reaction has nothing to do with your critics. This response is all on you.

To be sure, no one likes it when critics come calling – especially when the critic has less experience or is nothing more than arm-chair quarterback with no skin in the game. I mean, who the heck do they think they are, right?

But when you choose to put up walls – those defensive measures- it is the one action that hurts you more in the long run. When you cut people off you put yourself in danger of hearing only from the people who will tell you what you want to hear - not what you need to hear. Click To Tweet

So what is a leader to do? What should your posture be when your critics come calling? What can you learn from your critics? These questions and more will be answered in When Critics Come Calling (Part 2).

Final Thoughts

As the saying goes, haters are going to hate. But for you in leadership, there’s no room for that. And while dealing with it comes with the territory, you can rise above it, learn from it, and be a better leader because of it.

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Six Ways to Rise Above Your Critics

Posted May 19, 2016
by admin

critics

To escape criticism- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

A story is told of Winston Churchill and his extraordinary integrity in the face of opposition. During his last year in office, he attended an official ceremony. Several rows behind him two gentlemen began whispering. “That’s Winston Churchill. They say he is getting senile. They say he should step aside and leave the running of the nation to more dynamic and capable men.” When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned to the men and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf.”

Critics. Every leader has them and every leader will. How you respond to critics is an important component of your leadership development. It’s all too easy to get defensive when critics rub us the wrong way or misunderstand us. But can you appreciate a critic when he or she is right? Rising above your critics takes courage. Here are six ways to do it.

Keep a positive attitude.

Zig Ziglar said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” He’s right. How high and how far you go as a leader will be determined by your attitude. Nothing will give you a bad attitude any quicker than a wrong reaction to a critic. Basic things you will want to know regarding a critic are the source, the accuracy, the ramifications, and your reaction – if there even needs to be one. Regardless, stay positive and focused on the big picture.

Stay true to your values.

Don’t allow your critics to throw you off of your game. Stay grounded and connected to the values that have guided you to where you are. Values do not change but are guideposts when your circumstances do. The values and principles that brought you to where you are will keep you there so handle your critics with that in mind.

Speak no evil.

Seriously? Yes. Engaging in mud-slinging with your critics only hurts you in the long run. Unless what they have spoken or done is libelous then don’t waste your time in a verbal battle. Be content in knowing that the truth is on your side. There is no greater satisfaction than in knowing that you can look yourself in the mirror and lay your head down at night with a peace that comes from knowing you did the right thing regardless of how others behaved.

Don’t retaliate.

There will be times when you will want (and those close to you) to retaliate against critics. There is something about human nature that wants to fight back and get revenge and settle the score. I get it. But again, the end result will never be good for you. As hard as it may be there are times when you just have to let it go. Don’t worry if you lose a battle today, you are going to win the war if you keep your heart right.

Give them more ammo.

Most of the critics you will encounter are simply those who have some kind of vendetta or jealousy directed toward you. As opposed to stooping down to their level why not give them more ammo? As you do the right thing by continuing to work hard and by exhibiting good leadership, you will only become more successful. Nothing will annoy your critics more than your continued success.

Don’t lose your sense of humor.

One of the most important leadership skills you can develop is a sense of humor. Churchill exhibited it towards the men who spoke ill of him. Your critics will stir up a wide range of emotions and reactions that you will want to run with. But if you laugh – at them, and at yourself, half the battle is won.

What do you say?

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Six Ways to Rise Above Your Critics

Posted October 23, 2015
by admin

To escape criticism- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

Keep a positive attitude.

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude,” is a famous Zig Ziglar quote. How high and how far you go as a leader will be determined by your attitude. Nothing will give you a bad attitude any quicker than a wrong reaction to a critic. Basic things you will want to know regarding a critic are the source, the accuracy, the ramifications, and your reaction – if there even needs to be one. Regardless, stay positive and focused on the big picture.

Stay true to your values.

Speak no evil.

Don’t retaliate.

Give them more ammo.

Don’t lose your sense of humor.

One of the most important leadership skills you can develop is a sense of humor. Churchill exhibited it towards the men who spoke ill of him. Bill Cosby said, “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” Your critics will stir up a wide range of emotions and reactions that you will want to run with. But if you laugh – at them, and at yourself, half the battle is won.

What do you say?

*This column is a “Best Of” and was originally posted in 2015.

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Six Ways to Rise Above Your Critics

Posted June 19, 2015
by admin

To escape criticism- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

Keep a positive attitude.

Stay true to your values.

Speak no evil.

Don’t retaliate.

Give them more ammo.

Don’t lose your sense of humor.

What do you say?

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Three Things Every Leader Needs To Know About Criticism

Posted April 10, 2015
by admin

Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things. – Winston Churchill

I came across a story about Grace Coolidge, the wife of President Calvin Coolidge who tried to surprise her husband by having his portrait painted. When it was finished, she hung it in the library of the White House. Later the same morning the President happened to walk into the library accompanied by a senator. They stared at the picture together in silence. Finally Coolidge commented quietly: “I think so, too.”

When you hear the word criticism what is the first thought that comes to your mind? Many take on a defensive posture as it relates to critics. We are quick to defend our words, actions, and decisions.

Often times, however, our growth in leadership does not always come via the praise or accolades of adoring followers. In fact, a lot of it comes during our dark times that are usually quite lonely.

Conventional wisdom says to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. What about critics? Should you keep them at a distance or keep them close? Here are three insights that hopefully will give you some perspective.

Every leader needs a constructive critic

As a leader you will have plenty of critics. Many of them will not be constructive. But when you are committed to your own personal growth and to the success and growth of your people then finding a colleague who can be your constructive critic should not be hard to find.

Your constructive critic is the one who can help you see all sides of an issue, help guide you in your decision making, and cares enough to call you out when needed.

You need constructive critics in your life and you should welcome them in. One constructive critic will be more valuable to you than a room full of “yes people” ever will.

Every leader needs to be accountable

The purpose of a constructive critic is not to make your life miserable but to keep you accountable. A leader should never ascend to the place either in position or in mentality that they are above criticism. We need trusted advisors near us to help us.

I know that many leaders take criticism personal and see those who would dare to criticize as less than loyal, out to cause harm, or advance their own agenda. As a result relationships are strained due to insecurities and people are looked upon with suspicion. It’s a fragmented culture that is hard to reverse.

But when you as a leader set the example for what accountability looks like it can be healthy for the whole organization and it can make a world of difference.

Every leader needs to set the example

John Maxwell said, “Effective leaders know that first you have to touch people’s hearts before you ask them for a hand.” This is a profoundly simple rule of leadership. It’s also, I believe, the springboard of constructive criticism.

As a leader you will give more constructive criticism than you will receive and it’s important to do it right. Constructive criticism will be better received and more effective when it’s born out of a good relationship. If the only time you interact with a person you lead is to be the messenger of how to do something better or to point out something they have done wrong then it will build resentment.

Critics and criticism will be a constant on your leadership journey. Learning the keys to receive it and give it will make you a wiser and more effective leader.

What do you say?

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3 Things You Can Learn From Constructive Critics

Posted August 23, 2014
by admin

To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing – Elbert Hubbard

A story is told of Winston Churchill who exemplified integrity and respect in the face of opposition. During his last year in office, he attended an official ceremony. Several rows behind him two gentlemen began whispering. “That’s Winston Churchill.” “They say he is getting senile.” “They say he should step aside and leave the running of the nation to more dynamic and capable men.” When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned to the men and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf!”

As a leader you will have your critics. It comes with the territory. While many are quick to tell you to not to listen to your critics and to disregard them, I will tell you – not so fast. Not all criticism is fatal just as all praise is not flattering. You must look at the motive.

To be sure, there will be critics who for no other reason than jealousy will oppose you and try to stand in your way while you are achieving your goals and dreams. If their motives are to harm you and not to help you, then yes, you need to ignore them. They are not running your race and they will not be a part of your destiny. Don’t worry about them.

But once in a while a constructive critic comes along whose motives are right and if you are receptive you can benefit from them. Leaders are not above correction and there is always room for improvement. What can you learn from your constructive critics? Plenty. Here are three specific things that might be helpful.

How to develop a thick skin

The sooner you develop a thick skin the better. As a leader you are exposed to a higher than normal amount of criticism from all sides. The decision you make today may anger one group in your office, while a decision tomorrow will have the opposite effect.

It’s easy for people to criticize decision makers when they don’t have to live with the responsibility of the decision. But the criticisms can still sting nonetheless. Developing a thick skin as a leader is a necessity for your longevity. It’s a way of life for you as a leader so get used to it.

Why perceptions matter

Most people’s opinion of you as a leader is based in part on perceptions. Some people’s perceptions may be positive while for others it’s negative. Many factors can contribute to this viewpoint. A person with frequent interaction with you will see your leadership style one way, while a person with limited exposure will see it another. The question is: are you aware of the perceptions others have of you?

You want to give the perception that you are approachable, likable, competent, and that you have your people’s best interest at heart. And if you will allow them, your critics will let you know how you are doing. Though they may be few in number; keep your constructive critics close. In the end they will be more valuable to you than a room full of “yes people” ever will.

How you can improve

Leaders need constructive critics. They will give perspective that you may be lacking, insights you need to know, and will stand with you when times are tough. As a leader there is always room for improvement. You never stop learning. But how can you improve when you have blind spots that are not being brought to your attention?

Your growth and development as a leader is proportional to your desire and ability to learn. It’s a process that involves many components that are traditional in nature but also those that are very personal. It’s one thing to shrug off and dismiss a critic who has no interest in your success. But your best learning will occur when you ask for constructive critics who share in your success and will give you honest feedback.

Final thoughts

As a leader it’s important to differentiate between the critics who oppose you out of their own insecurity, jealousy, or ulterior motives and those who are your constructive critics. It’s not too hard to figure out. One group will stab you in the back while the other group will have your back and support you. One group will stand with you through thick and thin, the other group will cut and run – you get the picture.

Your responsibility as a leader is to discern between the two and align yourself with the right people. Your success as a leader will occur when you are not too proud to listen to your constructive critics and smart enough to ignore the others.

What do you say?

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Six Ways to Rise Above Your Critics

Posted May 10, 2014
by admin
2 Comments on Six Ways to Rise Above Your Critics

To escape criticism- do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. – Elbert Hubbard

Keep a positive attitude.

Stay true to your values.

Speak no evil.

Don’t retaliate.

Give them more ammo.

Most of the critics you will encounter are simply those who have some kind of vendetta or jealousy directed toward you. As opposed to stooping down to their level why not give them more ammo? As you do the right thing by continuing to work hard, and by exhibiting good leadership, you will only become more successful. Nothing will annoy your critics more than your continued success.

Don’t lose your sense of humor.

One of the most important leadership skills you can develop is a sense of humor. Churchill exhibited it towards the men who spoke ill of him. Bill Cosby said, “Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.” Your critics will stir up a wide range of emotions and reactions that you will want to run with. But when you can learn to laugh – at them, and at yourself, half the battle is won.

What do you say?

I welcome Your Feedback:

1. Of the six ways to handle critics which one stood out the most for you?

2. What would you add to the list?

3. In your experiences what has been the best way you’ve dealt with critics?

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