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Change The Way You Think
Tag: coaching
Leadership Minute: Lead Yourself
You can have no dominion greater or less than that over yourself – Leonardo da Vinci
It’s the first rule of leadership that yields to no one. If you wish to lead others you first must lead yourself. After all, the hardest person you will ever lead is not the jerk down the hall that drives you nuts it’s most likely the one in the mirror. Pay attention to the people that get on your nerves. What irritates you the most about them could be your struggle as well. You see, it’s easy and convenient for us to point out the flaws and weaknesses in others but overlook that same weakness in ourselves- or worse yet, justify them. An authentic leader will develop his or her disciplines, be held to a higher standard, be held accountable, and lead by example. Before leading others, lead yourself.
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Leadership Minute: Lead With Confidence
There’s a line that separates having confidence and being conceited. I don’t cross that line, but I have a lot of confidence in myself. – Paul Pierce
Confidence is a needed leadership characteristics but is one that is easily misunderstood by others. Confidence is what sets you apart in that you are sure of yourself- your abilities, your purpose, and your qualifications to lead. It’s not an arrogance that causes you to believe that you are better than anyone else, but it’s what gives you the enthusiasm to lead. Conceit, by definition, is having a high opinion of oneself that may not be justified. So, how do you find the right balance? I believe the answer is found when you walk in confidence and in humility. Leadership is not a right, it’s a privilege. When you lead with humility and confidence you are acknowledging that this is only temporary. Lead with confidence but remember- it’s not about you.
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Leadership Minute: Prepare by Learning
Prepare for the unknown by studying how others in the past coped with the unforeseeable and the unpredictable. – General George S. Patton
As a leader you will frequently walk in the unknown and unforeseeable. While it may be scary at times you can navigate those periods with the skill and wisdom you have gathered in times of preparation. Many a great leader before you have been tested with things they didn’t anticipate. How they handled times of adversity can be sources of inspiration for you. What challenges are you facing today? As you learn from their examples you can apply those lessons to your current situation. Preparation is the key to your success. Walk with confidence knowing that the lessons you have learned have equipped you for the challenges before you.
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The Selfie Generation: A Call to the Renewal of Servant Leadership
A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. – Lao Tzu
In 0.2 seconds after typing the word “selfies” into the Google search engine more than 17 million results turned up. To say that we live in a narcissist generation is obviously an understatement.
For those of you who have been visiting another planet and are not up to speed on what a selfie is let me introduce you to the phenomenon. Selfies, as defined by the Urban Dictionary are, “pictures taken of oneself while holding the camera at arm’s length.” In recent months it has become the trendy thing to do and mimic since the likes of Ellen and other celebrities have turned it more into a fun fad.
While on the surface there is nothing wrong with selfies (yes, I have taken one or two myself) there is a broader or deeper prevailing issue I’d like to explore as it relates to leadership styles. To be clear, in this writing my reference to selfies is a depiction of self-indulged leaders and not about the practice as defined in the Urban Dictionary. My concern is that with the rise of the selfie generation we are in danger of losing sight of the meaning and relevance of servant leadership.
A leadership pyramid I studied some years back by John Maxwell showed that the higher one climbs as a leader the more rights he or she surrenders. In its place is more responsibility. My concern is how less rights and more responsibility fits the narrative of a selfie culture. How do servant leaders emerge from this mindset? How do selfie leaders measure up against servant leaders? Here are but a few examples.
Selfie leaders choose style whereas servant leaders choose substance.
For the selfie type of leader it’s all about their image. Decisions are made and based upon not what’s best for the organization or team but how it makes him or her look. It’s a leadership trap to be sure. Everyone wants to be liked and to be popular, but servant leaders gave up that right a long time ago. Servant leaders will stand for and with those who choose substance over image. In the end it’s about honoring their principles over their popularity. The servant leader sets the example with his integrity.
Selfie leaders are more concerned about receiving while servant leaders care more about giving.
Nothing will more clearly define and set the two apart more readily than this. The selfie leader is all about what’s in it for him while the servant leader is about giving. It’s all in the math. The selfie subtracts (takes) while the servant leader adds (gives). It’s a reflection of the heart and priorities. The servant leader sets the example not by what he takes but by what he sacrifices and gives.
Chart is courtesy of: Developing the Leader Within You, by John Maxwell.
Selfie leaders care more about their position while servant leaders care more about their people.
There is no substitute for the human equation in leadership. Positions come and go, but at the end of the day the servant leader who cares less about his title and more about his people is the one who will survive. Selfie leaders can’t help themselves. Eventually it all comes back around to them. Selfie leaders will do whatever it takes to protect that which matters least (position or title) while using the people who matter the most. It’s a sad trap many aspiring leaders fail to see. The servant leader sets the example by modeling humility.
Max de Pree said, “The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality. The last is to say thank you. In between, the leader is a servant.” I believe this leadership philosophy is needed today and is a blueprint for the future. Servant leadership is not about being a weak leader but rather a strong and convincing one. The ultimate measure of a leader’s power is not found in the authority that he or she is willing to grab hold of but in what they are willing to lay down. It’s not determined by demanding more rights but in assuming more responsibility.
I believe now more than ever in the power of servant leadership. What do you say?
© 2014 Doug Dickerson
I welcome your feedback:
1. What do you believe are the biggest barriers to servant leadership today?
2. Are the selfie leaders as described here more the norm or the exception in your opinion?
3. What tangible things can you do to help build a servant leadership mentality?
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Ten Things Every Leader Should Always Teach
Tell me and I forget. Teach me and I remember. Involve me and I learn. – Benjamin Franklin
At school one day a little boy was asked what he was thankful for. The boy replied, “My glasses.” “That’s good,” said the teacher, “they help you see better.”
“No,” responded the child, “I’m thankful for my glasses because they keep the other boys from hitting and fighting with me and the girls from kissing me.”
While perhaps not the reason the teacher had expected to hear, the little boy made his point. As leaders we’ve all benefited from good teachers that have shaped our lives. As a leader you are now in that role and the life lessons you share are just as important.
John Maxwell said, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” This is one of your functions as a leader. While it may not be in a formal classroom setting it is teaching nonetheless and the lessons are important. Here are ten lessons every leader should always be teaching. It’s not an exhaustive list but these are essential.
How to give praise.
Just as students tend to respond better to praise the same holds true with your team members. When the people in your business or organization receive praise and encouragement from you they come away with the sense that you have their backs. Give them praise and give it generously.
How to listen.
This is one of the most important skills that you will develop as a leader. Many leaders like to talk but you will be a more effective leader when you learn to listen and hear what others have to say. From what you learn you can make better and more informed decisions.
How to say no.
While listening may be one of the most important things to teach saying no will be one of the hardest. Many good ideas from well-meaning people will come across your desk. Be it the timing, the budget, or some other factor, sometimes the answer is no. How you say no is important. Take the time to explain why.
How to work hard.
Your team members will learn more from your example than by your words. If you want them to work hard then they need to see you work hard. Leadership by example is not just a cliché it is real and practical. When they see that you have skin and sweat in the game they will join you.
How to let things go.
As a leader you will face many challenges and many frustrations. People get on your nerves and rub you the wrong way. You have pressures, deadlines, and disappointments. Teach your team how to let things go and not get so stressed out over every little obstacle that comes your way. Not everything you set out to do is always going to go according to plan. But that’s okay. Let it go.
How to confront.
This is one of the least favorite things a leader has to do. We’d much rather be giving out praise. But there are those times as a leader when you must confront others for whatever reason. How you confront needs to be a teachable moment that shows how to be firm, how to be fair, and that you have accountability measures in place that you are not afraid to enforce. How you do it is just as important as why you do it.
How to say thank you.
This one simple act can make a world of difference. Why it’s hard at times for leaders to do I am not sure. But if you want to see the atmosphere in your office or organization improve then take the time to thank those around you for all of their hard work. And while you are at it – make it personal. Hand-written notes are especially nice.
How to forgive.
Hang around in leadership long enough and you will understand the power of forgiveness. You will learn about the necessity of giving it and receiving it. The point is simply this – life is too short to hold grudges and hold on to resentments. Forgive others and move on.
How to set priorities.
Jim Rohn said, “Either you run the day or the day runs you.” People in your organization need to see that you have a set of priorities that you live by – family, faith, work etc. You teach priorities by your routines and time management. What’s important to you is given priority. It’s that simple.
How to delegate.
Delegation is the key to your success and that involves everyone in the process. Delegation is not just by divvying up work for the sake of having something to do. It’s about matching the right people with the right skills to maximize productivity and results. You were not meant to do it all by yourself. Delegate your way to success.
What do you say?
© 2014 Doug Dickerson
I welcome your feedback:
1. What lesson stood out to you the most? Why?
2. What lessons would you add to this list?
3. What are some practical ways you can begin to implement some of these lessons right away?
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Leadership Minute: Value Added Leaders
Few things will increase the credibility of leaders more than adding value to the people around them. – John Maxwell
Adding value to the people around you is one of the privileges of leadership. But value can only be added where respect is given. It’s easy to add value to those we like and are friends with. But what about that difficult person whom you had rather avoid? Until we begin to recognize and give value to everyone regardless of how difficult it may be we are marginalizing our credibility. There is good to be found in everyone and everyone needs to be lifted up. Look for tangible ways to add value to the people around you and watch your credibility rise. Don’t withhold that compliment, that affirmation, or that word of encouragement. Your one word of encouragement could be all it takes to turn things around for a struggling friend. Be a leader of added value.
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Leadership Minute: Your Level of Success
The level of our success is limited only by our imagination and no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted. – Aesop
There is a big difference between imagined success and success realized. But the starting place is found in your imagination. What dreams and aspirations do you have? I am convinced that the pathway to success is found in part by what you dream; those passions in your heart that you nourish to life. When you couple that with acts of selflessness in giving and being a blessing to others it all comes back on you in positive ways. Your success can be all you’ve imagine it to when you dare to dream big dreams, work really hard, and give generously. Unleash your potential today by setting your imagination free.
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Leadership Minute: Positive Influences
I believe that you should gravitate to people who are doing productive and positive things with their lives. – Nadia Comaneci
Your rise as a leader as well as your influence as a leader is largely determined by your ability to surround yourself with positive people and choosing to have a positive disposition. It’s nearly impossible to go forward and achieve your dreams and goals if you are surrounded by negative people. The drag and pull they generate will be a great hindrance to you if you don’t shake them off. It’s as you choose a positive and productive path forward and your ability to surround yourself with like-minded people that you will succeed. Gravitate toward people show share your positive outlook and energy and draw from it. A positive attitude will give you the energy you need to be the productive leader you wish to become.
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Leadership Minute: Step of Faith
Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. – Martin Luther King, Jr.
One of the most exhilarating and yet one of the most fearful steps for many leaders is those blind steps of faith. We tend to be careful, calculated, and want to know the whole game plan. But there are those unique and special times when you just have to go with your gut instincts and take a step of faith even if you don’t see the entire picture. Sometimes your goals and dreams await you on the other side of your faith. Dare to dream, set your sights high, and when the time comes, dare to step out and go for it. The big picture will become clearer with each step you take.
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