coaching – Page 2 – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Leadership Lessons from Pat Summitt

Posted June 30, 2016
by admin

patsummit

“She could have coached any team, any sport, men’s or women’s. It wouldn’t have mattered, because Pat could flat-out coach. I will miss her dearly, and I am honored to call her my friend.” – Peyton Manning

As a native Tennessean and a proud member of Vol Nation, I was deeply saddened by the recent passing of legendary Coach Pat Summitt. Her passing due to Alzheimer’s at the age of 64 was a great loss and it’s hard to put into words how deeply she will be missed.

There is no doubt Pat Summitt made her mark on the game of women’s basketball. For almost 40 years as the head coach she led the Lady Vols to 8 national championships, 31 consecutive NCAA tournaments, and amassed along the way a record of 1,098 wins.

I had the honor of meeting Pat Summitt a few times and she was always gracious and a class act. Her leadership on and off the court was truly inspiring. Her legacy will live on in her players and in the coaches who served alongside of her and through the work of her foundation.

I’d like to share with you a few of my favorite Pat Summitt quotes for your consideration and how they might be a source of inspiration for you.

“It’s harder to stay on top than it is to make the climb. Continue to seek now goals.”

“Success is a project that’s always under construction.”

“Here’s how I am going to beat you. I’m going to outwork you. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.”

“There is always someone better than you. Whatever it is that you for a living, chances are, you will run into a situation in which you are not as talented as the person next to you. That’s when being a competitor can make a difference in your fortunes.”

“Teamwork is what makes common people capable of achieving uncommon results.”

“You can’t always be the most talented person in the room. But you can be the most competitive.”

“If you don’t want responsibility, don’t sit in the big chair. To be successful, you must accept full responsibility.”

“I’m someone who will push you beyond all reasonable limits. Someone who will ask you not to just fulfill your potential but to exceed it. Someone who will expect more from you than you may believe you are capable of.”

“When a player makes a mistake, you always want to put them back in quickly — you don’t just berate them and sit them down with no chance of redemption.”

“Quit? Quit? We keep score in life because it matters. It counts. Too many people opt out and never discover their own abilities, because they fear failure. They don’t understand commitment. When you learn to keep fighting in the face of potential failure, it gives you a larger skill set to do what you want to do.”

When reading her quotes you get a glimpse into what made her not only a great coach but a great mentor, friend, and inspiration to so many.

In honor or her legacy I’d like to encourage my readers who are so inclined in joining me in making a donation to The Pat Summitt Foundation. The foundation works in partnership with the University of Tennessee Medical Center for research in finding a cure for Alzheimer’s. Visit the website at: http://www.patsummitt.org/

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Relationships: The Fuel of Your Company Culture

Posted January 15, 2016
by admin

work

The purpose of life is not to be happy, it is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well. – Emerson

Some time ago I came across this story of 76- year old Bill Baker. If you think your family has problems, consider the mayhem created when he wed Edna Harvey. She happened to be his granddaughter’s husband’s mother. That’s where the confusion began, according to Baker’s granddaughter, Lynn.

Lynn said, “My mother-in-law is now my step-grandmother. My grandfather is now my stepfather-in-law. My mom is my sister-in-law and my brother is my nephew. But even crazier is that I’m now married to my uncle and my own children are my cousins.”

From this experience, Lynn should gain profound insight into the theory of relativity.

We’d all agree that relationships can be tricky. We bring to any workplace culture our own unique personality, quirks, beliefs, and qualities. Blending those characteristics into a cooperative environment can be a challenge.

The truth is, we live and work in the context of relationships and as leaders we are not exempt. Are you being intentional about the value of relationships and doing what you can to foster good ones? Passive participation will produce nominal results at best.

Building a strong organizational culture begins with building solid relationships – it’s that simple. But it’s also that hard. So what is a leader to do? Here are four steps to building better relationships.

Take the initiative

This is one of the fundamental characteristics of a strong leader. As such, you do not wait to take the first steps in the right direction. Take responsibility and act as if developing good relationships depends on you- because it does.

You build good relationships as a leader by being proactive. For some leaders this may be a big step out of your comfort zone but the more you do it the more at ease you will become. Show your people that relationships matter by making it personal.

Find common ground

Good relationship are essential to your company culture. Mesh all of the personalities and differences together and you have the potential for something truly unique and special—if you do it right.

So long as we allow our differences to divide us we will have problems. A strong leader will find common ground, find points of common interests and goals, and build off of it. Our objective is not to create molds of ourselves – to mold everyone into our way of thinking, believing, and way of doing things. It’s to embrace our differences, build off of our uniqueness, and elevate everyone because of it. Find common ground and build from there.

Welcome everyone

Building relationships in your company environment happens as everyone is welcomed in. The responsibility rests with you as the leader to create an atmosphere in which everyone is made to feel welcome and no one is shut out. To foster anything less is to play favorites and create division.

When diversity of relationships are seen through the lens of value that each person in your organization possesses then everyone feels like they belong. Your life as a leader is much richer and rewarding when you experience the full range and scope of a diversity of relationships. Do yourself a favor- broaden your circle and welcome everyone.

Look outside yourself

The final thought is this – the strength of your relationships and the power of the company culture you build is realized not when you attain it but in how you use it. It’s not so much about having a “look at us” mentality, but in a “how can we serve you?” expression of it.

As a leader it’s not about you. If you integrate that belief and expand it system wide, then you have the potential to do great things. Why not tap into the uniqueness of your people, harness the power of your relationships, and turn it into a force for good? Can you imagine the impact you can make? When you do this then you will begin to discover a whole new dimension of the power of relationships. Are you ready?

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Three Leadership Lessons from Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer

Posted December 18, 2015
by admin

rudolph

Then all the reindeer loved him as they shouted out with glee, Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer, you’ll go down in history!- Robert L. May

For many years, the story goes; Montgomery Ward department store in Chicago purchased and gave away coloring books as a promotional during the Christmas season. In 1939, company executives wanted to do something that would both reduce costs and be new and different.

To help with the new project they turned to Robert L. May, a 34-year old Montgomery Ward copywriter who was known to dabble in children’s limericks and stories. His creation was a short story written in rhyming verse and differed from the version known today. The original Rudolph lived in the woods with his loving parents far from the North Pole.

May’s story became an immediate success. Montgomery Ward gave away 2.4 million copies of the story in 1939 and by 1946, despite wartime paper shortages; over 6 million copies had been distributed. Faced with large medical bills because of his wife’s battle with cancer, May asked Montgomery Ward officials if he could have the copyright to Rudolph turned over to him. The company agreed and that same year the story was published commercially.

May also asked his brother-in-law, songwriter Johnny Marks, to adapt his basic story idea to music. When Marks was done, one singer after another, including Bing Crosby, declined to record the song. Finally, in 1949, Gene Autry accepted and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer shot to the top of the charts. Autry’s version is now the second bestselling Christmas song of all time, surpassed only by Crosby’s White Christmas.

From the song Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, come leadership lessons that are still applicable today. Here are three leadership lessons that will serve you well regardless of the season.

We all have natural gifts and abilities

Rudolph was the object of scorn by the other reindeer who mistakenly thought that because he was different from the others he didn’t have anything to contribute.

We all come in different shapes, sizes, and with unique gifts. It is not in the similarities that we stand out, but in our differences. The gifts and talents you bring to the table of your business or organization may not look like anything else in your company, but that is your gift. As you embrace and celebrate those gifts, others will also come to appreciate what you have to offer.

We all face opposition

Because his appearance was different from others around him, Rudolph faced opposition. There will always be an element of people who will oppose you not based on your appearance as in the story, but because you have a different perspective, you have a different attitude, and you bring an optimistic mindset to the challenges your company faces.

When you embrace that which causes you to stand out you are on your way to the top. Others can ridicule you or join you but the choice is theirs. Regardless of the opposition you face, never surrender your uniqueness to any opposition.

Your moment to shine will eventually come

It is your daily faithfulness in the little things that you prove yourself. Even though Rudolph faced opposition from the others, he didn’t allow their negativity to defeat him. In the moment of crisis when Santa needed a go-to Reindeer, Rudolph was ready. Armed with his natural giftedness and positive attitude, he navigated the team of fellow reindeer to a successful completion of the Christmas mission.

Your moment of destiny will come one day and it may not happen the way you expected. Open your eyes to all the possibilities that your leadership can provide. As you remain faithful your big moment will come.

This Christmas season, celebrate your gift as a leader, rise above your opposition, and stand ready to embrace your destiny. As you do, you will have a greater understanding of just how special the season can be.

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Five Traits of Extra Mile Leaders

Posted November 20, 2015
by admin

mile

There are no shortcuts on the extra mile – Zig Ziglar

Bob Kuechenberg, the former Miami Dolphins great, once explained what motivated him to go to college. “My father and uncle were human cannonballs in carnivals. My father told me, “go to college or be a cannonball.” Then one day my uncle came out of the cannon, missed the net and hit the Ferris wheel, I decided to go to college.”

The way you tap into your motivation as a leader may not be as drastic for you as it was for Bob Kuechenberg, but tapping into it is necessary nonetheless. Going the extra mile as a leader is what will set you apart from the rest of the pack and will take you farther than you could have without it.

So what traits do “extra mile” leaders possess? Here is a sampling of a few that I believe are essential. It’s not an exhaustive list but is a good place to start.

Extra mile leaders are proactive

Extra mile leaders take the initiative in getting things done. They prefer to tackle issues head-on rather than assume a reactionary posture. Extra mile leaders are out front on understanding the culture of their organization and the needs of the people they serve. They don’t wait to be told or asked, they see what needs to be done and they do it.

Extra mile leaders possesses a contagious enthusiasm

What sets extra mile leaders apart from mediocre leaders-every time, is a passion and enthusiasm for what they do. Their attitudes are positive and their temperament is even-handed. An extra mile leader in your organization with enthusiasm and passion will be the benchmark for the rest of your team. Without extra mile leaders your work will be hard but with them your team can see extra-ordinary results. Extra mile leaders bring out the best in those they serve.

Extra mile leaders put the team first

Extra mile leaders by and large are selfless in that their motivation and their proactive ways are done with the intent of benefitting the team. Yes, there can be exceptions when what motivates an individual is selfish in nature. But by and large, extra mile leaders have a broad understanding of the mission and vision of the organization and their extra mile sacrifices are for the benefit of the group. Of course, it pays dividends in the long run as all hard work and effort does, but it’s not the prime motivation. Extra mile leaders put their colleagues first.

Extra mile leaders have an attitude of excellence

Extra mile leaders are not satisfied with the status quo nor do they settle for what is merely acceptable. Extra mile leaders have a compelling desire to be the best personally and professionally. At times it can be misinterpreted by those without the extra mile mentality as self-serving, grand-standing, or posturing, etc. but at their core, the extra mile leader cares deeply and truly wants to advance the team in the right direction.

Extra mile leaders have found their purpose

Extra mile leaders have not only tapped into their passion but have taken it a step further in discovering their purpose. Extra mile leaders intuitively understand that it’s not about what they “do” that defines them or motivates them to go the extra mile. Extra mile leaders are those who have embraced the blessing and gift of their Creator and have committed themselves to living their life in such a way that honors it.

Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, “There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.”

What you are capable of becoming as an extra mile leader is realized when you worry less about what you do and care more for the life you have to live and the ways in which you can serve others. When you do, the results will speak for itself.

Are you an extra mile leader?

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Leadership Wit and Wisdom from Yogi Berra

Posted September 25, 2015
by admin

When you come to a fork in the road, take it! – Yogi Berra

We recently lost one of baseball’s most beloved icons – Yogi Berra. The former New York Yankee catcher was the consummate ambassador of the game long after his playing days ended.

Known for his quick wit and humor, his quotes have inspired and entertained us for decades. In tribute to Yogi Berra and his many infamous quotes, I’d like to share my ten favorite and how they can inspire the leader in you.

“When you come to a fork in the road, take it!”

Decision-making for leaders is very important. And while Robert Frost may have been more poetic in his observation of the road not taken, Yogi’s philosophy was more proactive – take it. There comes a point in time for every leader when every possibility and contingency is taken into account and you have to act. Just do it.

“Slump? I ain’t in no slump…I just ain’t hitting”

Perspective in leadership paramount to your success. Every successful leader has periods of time when he or she just may not be clicking on all cylinders. Everyone experiences setbacks and times when the wind is not at your back. It’s important to remember that slumps will pass and to overcome you have to dig in your heels and press on. It will pass.

“I’d rather be the Yankee catcher than the President”

When you do what you love and love what you do then there is nothing else that will satisfy and no other occupation to be envious of. Discovering your “one thing” and passion is the most rewarding thing you will do. And wherever journey that may take you, there you will find great contentment.

“If people don’t want to come out to the park, nobody’s going to stop them”

One of the hardest and most important things to learn as a leader is that not everyone will take the journey with you – and not everyone should. If people are not willing or capable of embracing your vision and the direction you are going then you can’t stop them from not coming along. And that is okay. Go forward without them.

“You can observe a lot just by watching”

A smart leader pays attention to his or her surroundings. You can learn a lot about your people and your organizational structure just by observing. Perhaps a good rule of thumb would be to talk less, listen more, and keep your eyes open.

“We made too many wrong mistakes”

We all make mistakes. Making too many wrong ones will do you in. Sometimes we can stumble upon success in spite of ourselves. The old adage in sports is that the team that makes the fewest mistakes wins. Learning from our mistakes is the key to our success. Avoid making too many of the wrong mistakes and in time you will be fine.

“The future ain’t what it used to be’

Change is the constant of life. As leaders it is imperative to understand change and how to be out in front of it. You will either be prepared for change or a victim of it. But make no mistake – change is inevitable. Smart leaders are early adapters and ahead of the curve. The future ain’t what it used to be so you best be ready for it.

“It ain’t over til it’s over”

Optimism is a key characteristic for every leader. Having a positive attitude will propel you in the good times and sustain you in the bad. You are not exempt from the challenges that come from being a leader but you do choose how you will face them. Regardless of how bad things may look, it ain’t over til it’s over. Don’t give up.

“He’s learning me all his experience”

Every leader needs a good coach or mentor. We don’t start out with all of the real-world experience and wisdom we need. Just as a ball player needs a coach to be successful on the playing field, leaders need coaches who can impart their wisdom and experience. Perhaps you are at the stage where you should be the coach or mentor to someone starting out. The simple truth is this- smart leaders are always learning and gracious enough to share what they know.

“Always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t go to yours”

Leaders understand the power of relationships. People are your most appreciable asset as a leader and how you treat people is imperative. Never waste an opportunity to give a complement or practice a random act of kindness. How you treat others is a testament to your leadership and at the end of the day – it’s all about people.

Thank you Yogi Berra for your example and making our world just a little nicer place.

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Three Fears That Hinder Success

Posted September 11, 2015
by admin

What I’ve learned in these 11 years is you just got to stay focused and believe in yourself and trust your own ability and judgment. – Mark Cuban

The story is told of a new bank president who met with his predecessor and said, “I would like to know what have been the keys to your success.” The older gentleman looked at him and replied, “Young man, I can sum it up in two words: ‘Good decisions’.” To that the young man responded, “I thank you immensely for that advice, sir, but how does one come to know which are the good decisions?” “One word, young man,” replied the sage. “Experience.” “That’s all well and good,” said the younger, “but how does one get experience?” “Two words,” said the elder. “Bad decisions.”

We hear much talk in leadership circles about success. We read success stories of people and wonder what it would be like to walk in their shoes. In such instances one of two reactions happen. We are either encouraged to work harder and achieve that type of success or we grow despondent believing that it will never happen for us.

What about you? How do you react? In as much as we understand how a fear of failure will naturally hold people back, so too will a fear of success. The results are inevitably the same. Getting a grip on the fears that hold you back is the first step in overcoming them and placing you on the right course to achieve the success you desire. Here are three common fears that will hinder your success.

The fear of commitment

Unless this fear is overcome you will always be stuck where you are. There is no going to the next level of success without a next level commitment to take you there. Be it a successful entrepreneur, CEO, athlete, etc., the one thing they all share in common is an “all-in” commitment to their success.

Basketball great Michael Jordan said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty six times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” The secret to your success is found in those words.

Jordan’s failures were his fuel. His failures were his motivation. And despite all of his setbacks his level of commitment took him to the top and he is now recognized by many as the best to ever play the game.

One of the greatest hindrances to your success is your fear of commitment. When you overcome this fear you are on your way to experiencing new levels of success.

The fear of resentment

Unfortunately, not everyone is going to celebrate your success. Be it a professional jealousy or some personal resentment there will always be those who will make it their mission to be critical. It comes with the territory. On your journey some will praise your success while others will be critical of it. But, it’s your race- your journey, not theirs- and you will need to learn how to tune out the critics and listen to the voices that matter most.

Elbert Hubbard said, “The final proof of greatness lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” The day you fear the resentment that comes with your success is the day you allow everything that is negative to win over everything that is a positive.

You’ve come too far, worked too hard, sacrificed too much to allow the resentment from others to keep you from realizing yours dreams. Don’t allow the fear of resentment to hold you back. If the people around you can’t celebrate your success then it’s time to move on without them.

The fear of accomplishment

Sounds odd, doesn’t it? After all, becoming successful in achieving your desired goals is cause for celebration-not something to be feared. Yet still, some have a fear of accomplishment out of concern it will change them.

Those fears can easily be addressed when you value integrity more than success, character more than accolades, and your values more than the bottom line.

A fear of accomplishment will only hinder you on your road to success when you see success in a self-serving way. Successful leaders understand that the measure of their success is found in what they can do for others, not in what others can do for them.

You will have many challenges on your road to success. Don’t allow the fear of commitment, resentment, or accomplishment to hold you back. Go forward with confidence knowing that your fears are your fuel and your success is a tool for good.

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Three Locks That Hold You Back

Posted August 14, 2015
by admin

Life has no limitations except the ones you make. – Les Brown

The story is told of master magician and locksmith Harry Houdini on one of his European tours and how he found himself locked in by his own thinking. After he had been searched and manacled in a Scottish town jail, the old turnkey shut him in a cell and walked away. Houdini quickly freed himself from his shackles and then tackled the cell lock. But despite all his efforts, the lock wouldn’t open.

Finally, ever more desperate but completely exhausted, he leaned against the door–and it swung open so unexpectedly that he nearly fell headlong into the corridor. The turnkey had not locked it.

One difficult lesson for leaders to learn is that it’s not always the big stumbling blocks along the way that will do you in. In fact, just the opposite can be true if you are not careful. From the story we learn that what Houdini thought was locking him in the cell was the very thing that would set him free. Here’s the lesson: at times what you think is the problem is not the problem and the small things you overlook are the ones that give you the most grief.

So what are some of the locks in leadership that will hold you back and keep you from reaching your potential? There are many, but I will highlight three. If you will pay attention to these little things now it can save you a lot of heartache later.

The lock of low expectations

You will only rise to the level of success that you envision and strive for. Your expectations are the measuring rod of your dreams. If you are locked in by low expectations then high expectations will never occur.

But who or what is the source of your low expectations? You must identify and get to the root of your low expectations if you want to turn things around. Perhaps it’s a lack of confidence in your abilities. It may have been a bad break that you haven’t recovered from. Maybe you bought-in to someone else’s low expectation they placed on you.

Regardless of the source, you must disqualify it of its place in your vocabulary, your mindset, and your vision going forward. You can unlock your potential to growth and success when you remove low expectations from your playbook.

The lock of improper comparisons

One potentially demoralizing habit a leader can do is to get caught up in is the comparison game. You know the drill, “He has more clients”, “She has more contacts”, “He gets all the breaks”, “Her family name got her where she is,” and on it goes.

It’s all too easy to make improper comparisons and allow that to be a source of discouragement and a setback. You are not called to run anyone else’s race but your own. Improper comparisons are a lock that will always hold back so long as you are consumed by the other person and your perceptions of what is not fair.

As a leader you will ultimately have to look inward and upward if you want to be at peace. So long as you allow someone else to be your measure of success then you will always doubt and second guess yourself. Find peace at the end of the day in knowing that you did your best. Unlock the potential of everything that is great about you – not others.

The lock of a bad attitude

Ultimately, your attitude is your deal-breaker. With a good attitude you can unlock all the potential that is uniquely yours to achieve. A bad attitude will keep you locked up in a cell of your own making that will always hold you back.

Do other people sometimes get the better breaks? Do bad things happen to good and honest people? Of course it does. Life is not always fair. But life is made better or made worse by the way you respond and the attitude that you choose.

As a leader it’s time to pick some locks and set yourself free. It’s time to raise expectations equal to your talent – not equal to your fears. It’s time to quit comparing yourself to others and change your attitude.

It’s time to unlock your potential!

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How Delegation Raises the Bar of Leadership

Posted July 9, 2015
by admin

The inability to delegate is one of the biggest problems I see with managers at all levels. – Eli Broad

In the world of leadership development there is no shortage of material on the subject of delegation. It’s been a hot-button topic for as long as I can remember. Most of what I read about it falls into a “how to” category of “best practices” and delegation is relegated to independent acts of leadership as the need arises.

But is there another approach worth considering?

In his book, It’s Not About the Coffee, Howard Behar, the former president of Starbucks International, writes about what can happen when a business harnesses the creative power of its people. He states, “When any of us, from staff to managers to the CEO, think of ourselves and our colleagues as people- not workers or assets- we discover a wealth of knowledge and talent. When we allow ourselves and others to think creatively and make independent decisions based on common goals, we become more fulfilled, and we make a more worthwhile contribution.”

The concept here is a more lateral view of leadership rather than the traditional top-down approach. When the people in your organization are looked upon as people, not assets or workers, then your approach as a leader will be different and the relationship will be more personal.

When people are allowed to think creatively and make decisions based on common goals everyone wins. It’s what Behar refers to as people using a tool book instead of a rule book. It’s the difference between empowerment and stagnation.

How this plays out in terms of delegation can be a game-changer. Instead of a leader being a dispenser of decisions, or too insecure to delegate, the leader can now- without reservation- turn loose the best and brightest within his or her organization. The results can be transformational. This approach to delegation raises the bar or leadership throughout the organization. Here’s how.

Delegation that empowers the team

When the creative powers of your team are turned loose it creates a special momentum that can’t be duplicated by just one person. An empowered team- dutifully delegated to- can create an energy that is rare. Why? It’s the power not just of a buy-in on the part of the team (employee to employer) but a philosophical shift of “I’ve bought into you” (employer to employee) that makes the difference.

When a team is empowered and trusted, and its collective talents are respected, it raises the level of leadership for everyone.

Leadership Tip: Individual talents and skills are great but make sure your team members are playing to their strengths in the right place. If not, you are wasting valuable time and energy and will have little to show for it.

Delegation that rewards the team

Nothing frustrates a creative team more than an insecure leader who won’t act. The results can be detrimental and eventually the creative ones will leave because they are not fulfilled in their work. But when a leader respects and appreciates the individual as a person and the power of independent thinking- it will dramatically raise the bar of leadership. This approach pays dividends because team members will see their work as rewarding, valued, and appreciated. When this is the system-wide attitude and belief then productivity increases, morale is stronger, and the rewards are greater.

Leadership Tip: Delegation is not an abdication of your responsibility to make sure the vision and goals are clear and the work is being done. There’s a fine line between micro-managing and delegation. But once you delegate- get out of the way and trust your people to perform.

Delegation that elevates the team

When done right delegation will elevate the team to a higher level. When individual talents, skills, knowledge, and expertise come together with a unified goal and purpose, it’s hard not to envision such success. As a result, momentum rises and soon a new attitude and energy will propel your team. A new excitement in the air can be contagious. The bar of leadership has been raised. As a leader you now see and understand that delegation is not your stumbling block to success it is your pathway.

Leadership Tip: It’s incumbent upon you as the leader to channel this new found momentum and energy in the right direction. Unbridled energy moving in the wrong direction can be just as harmful as not enough energy toward the right direction. Keep the mission and vison in front of your people.

Richard Branson invokes an “in it together” attitude within his organization. When this is the approach to delegation it changes everything. Let your delegation empower, reward, and elevate.

What do you say?

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30 Years Earlier: What I Wish I Knew About Leadership

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. – William Shakespeare

One of the benefits of aging (not that I am old) is attaining a certain amount of wisdom that can be garnered from it. Being able to look back over a certain span of time and reflect on where you’ve come and lessons learned can be instrumental in how you look to the future. Sharing those life lessons to a new generation of leaders can be invaluable.

The late George Burns once said, “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” That’s a great philosophy. But the aging process ultimately takes a toll on all of us.

What are some of the signs that you are getting older? Here are a few I came across that are my favorites: You know you’re getting older when… everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work; the gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals; when you feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere; your children begin to look middle aged; your favorite part of the newspaper is “20 Years Ago Today”; you sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going; and finally, your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

I’ve been reflecting lately on the things about leadership I wish I knew back in my twenties that I now know. If I had understood them better it would have saved me a lot of grief and heartache along the way. Here are a few things about leadership I wish I had known.

I don’t always have to be right.

I know many in their twenties who think they know it all. I was one of them way too often. With the passing of time I have learned how much I don’t know. What I wish I knew back then was that my formal education was only the beginning. The real educational experience began after graduation –it’s called the real world. I wish I knew in my twenties just how little I knew, and that I didn’t always have to be right.

Building bridges is more practical than burning them

I wish I knew in my twenties the depth and breadth of how important relationships are in leadership. Sadly at times, it was a “my way or the highway” attitude that culminated in sad endings. As I’ve grown older the more I understand and care about building healthy relationships. I’ve grown to appreciate connecting with like-minded people and building more bridges between them and others.

Titles don’t mean a lot

What I thought was important in my twenties was acquiring a title- that somehow that validated my leadership. With that was the idea that my position commanded respect, admiration, and approval. I was wrong. In hindsight after 30 years I understand that a position without respect, trust, and integrity are meaningless. I’d stop chasing titles and positions and focus more on serving others.

Forgiveness is a virtue

Taking up the mantle of leadership is risky business. With all of the joys and rewards associated with it, also come disappointments and frustrations. In my twenties when I was wronged it was hard not to take it personal and not hold a grudge. What I wish I had known back then was that my unforgiveness was not hurting the person who offended me, it was hurting me instead. Life is too short to hold grudges and be mad. Forgive and move on. And remember, you will need to be forgiven at some point.

It’s not about me

The narcissism of my twenties has given way to the “selfie” narcissism we see in today’s culture. Back in my twenties, of course, there were no cell phones, internet, Facebook, etc. But the leadership principle remains. What I wish I knew then that I know now is that the ultimate act of my leadership is not what I do for myself but in what I do for others. My leadership is not meant to be self-serving but rather what I can do to add value to the lives of those around me.

One thing is certain–life in leadership is a continual learning process. Wherever you are on your journey, never stop growing.

What lessons have you learned?

* What would you add to the list? I’d really like to hear from you! Please leave your comments and the lessons you’ve learned!

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Hope For Discouraged Leaders

Posted April 3, 2015
by admin

If you are alive and breathing, you can still become everything God has created you to be. – Joel Osteen

In 1858 the Illinois legislature- using an obscure statute- sent Stephen A. Douglas to the U.S. Senate instead of Abraham Lincoln, although Lincoln had won the popular vote. When a sympathetic friend asked Lincoln how he felt, he said, “Like the boy who stubbed his toe: I am too big to cry and too badly hurt to laugh.”

If you hang around in leadership long enough and you will know what discouragement feels like. I’m not trying to depress you but simply stating the obvious. Behind the glittering image and friendly smiles are leaders who face incredible pressures and shoulder responsibilities that can be daunting. Unfortunately, many leaders feel trapped with no one to talk with or vent to due to the “glittering image” that they feel compelled to present to the public.

So let’s be honest. Times of discouragement will come. How you react to it will make all the difference going forward. As a leader, you are not immune from troubles-in fact, you may have more. So how do you keep a proper perspective and come through it on the other side a better leader? Here are three reminders that you need to consider.

You are not alone

Life happens to all of us. It’s not always pretty. As a leader you know this to be true. Disappointments come – you didn’t land that new client, a colleague betrayed you, sales are sluggish – you get the picture.

Here is what you need to know: your disappointment today is preparing you for great opportunities tomorrow. But there’s a catch. It all hinges on your attitude. While bad things can happen to good people; good people turn bad things into great opportunities.

At a young age Walt Disney easily could have been discouraged and given up. He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for “lacking ideas”. He could have taken his rejection and thrown in the towel. But if anything he used that experience to motivate him to greater things – and the rest as they say is history.

So when times of disappoint and discouragement come remember this truth – you are not alone.

You are stronger than you think

One truth I’ve learned over the years is this: you can be defined by life’s moments or you can define life’s moments. So how do you define life’s moments? You do so by choosing faith over fear, forgiveness over resentment, and by embracing God’s view of your life over man’s view. You don’t always have control over what comes your way but you can choose your path going forward.

Thomas Edison experienced one of those defining moments in his career. His lab caught fire and was destroyed. All of his work went up in flames. To add insult to injury, his building was under-insured. It was a devastating and defining moment. How would he respond?

“There is great value in disaster,” said Edison, “all our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” Edison did not choose the fire, but he did choose to define the moment.

Here is the truth to remember: We don’t like adversity and disappointments because we mistakenly believe that we can’t handle it. But I submit that you are stronger than you think and you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Are you ready to define your moment?

You are not defined by your past you are prepared by it

Every experience that you go through is preparation for what’s next. Along the way you have gained valuable experience. Some of it has come easy while at other times you wish you could have a do-over. It’s all part of the learning curve. I’ve been there countless times and I dare say you have as well.

But if you want to move forward as a leader you have to learn to let go of the past – especially the bad, and cut yourself some slack. What’s important is that you have learned your lessons, have peace in your heart, and are stronger as a result.

Discouragement sets in when you see yourself through the lens of a failure rather than through the lens of grace.

Here is the truth you need to remember: you are not the sum of your fears or your mistakes. Your past is your boot camp and it has prepared you for such a time as this.

Times of discouragement will come. But the good news is- it will pass. Stay strong and be encouraged. You are not alone, you are strong, and you are prepared!

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