Five Habits of Remarkably Kind Leaders

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You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. – Emerson

British statesman and financier Cecil Rhodes, whose fortune was used to endow the world-famous Rhodes Scholarships, was a stickler for correct dress, but apparently not at the expense of someone else’s feelings.

A young man was invited to dine with Rhodes arrived by train and had to go directly to Rhodes’s home in his travel-stained clothes. Once there he was appalled to find the other guests already assembled, wearing full evening dress. After what seemed to be a long time Rhodes appeared, in a shabby old blue suit. Later the young man learned that his host had been dressed in evening clothes, but put on the old suit when he heard of his young guests’ dilemma.

Kindness is not a virtue that is typically high on the list when one thinks of leadership characteristics. Given the recent news of one well known politician it might be time to revisit the topic. Countless stories abound about bullying and dealing with difficult people at work. Unfortunately, these are issues that have been around for a long time and will only continue until more kind leaders step up.

When addressing the issue of kindness in leadership I am speaking more to the temperament of the person who happens to be a leader. Kindness is a disposition. It’s not something you put on and take off like your apparel. To be sure, in your place of business you are more attentive to the disposition that is needed to deal with your employees and customers. So what are some common characteristics of remarkably kind leaders? Here are five for your consideration.

They are considerate of the needs of others.

It sounds sound simple, right? Kind considerations are given when the leader realizes that he or she is not the center of the universe. Kind leaders make the needs and considerations of others a top priority and then execute their actions off of that premise. Yes, the habit is elementary but the payoff can be huge.

They find common ground.

Kind leaders have learned the secret of relational strength. They know that more positive things can be accomplished through kind words and actions than through negative ones. To that end, they will seek common ground whenever possible to fortify relationships. It’s much easier for people to come together through kindness than through adversity. Kind leaders find common ground and build from there.

They are remarkably confident.

This is perhaps where kind leaders are most underestimated. Kindness should never be misinterpreted for weakness. Kind leaders are confident enough to treat everyone with respect. They are kind enough to not allow others to be bullied or treated with disrespect, and care enough to confront when necessary. Kind and confident leaders are the ones you want in your corner and the type you should aspire to become.

They are relentless encouragers.

Kind leaders are encouragers. They know how to speak not just the words you want to hear but the words you need to hear. They know how to get in your head as well as your heart with the encouragement and inspiration you need. They will challenge you to be your best, reach your potential, and care enough to speak hard truths you need to hear. But at the end of the day, they always encourage.

They are game changers.

If bad bosses and bad employees can create negative or toxic work environments that makes it difficult for people to thrive in then I believe the opposite is true. Only kind people can be kind leaders. I believe it’s time for kind leaders to step up, be heard, be seen, be promoted, and be the game changers we need. Call it wishful thinking, call me naive, but I think it’s time we understand that the days of bullying and meanness has not and will not work. It’s time to shine the spotlight on the good and let kindness rule the day.

What do you say?

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

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Leadership Minute: Like What You Do

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You never achieve success unless you like what you are doing. – Dale Carnegie

Let me ask you a question. Do you like what you are doing? Chances are that unless you like what you are doing you will not find the success you long for. And if that is the case then you will likely not find the deep level of fulfillment you desire.  Your success is linked to your passions. When you discover your passions and pursue them with all of your might then your success is going to follow. Don’t settle for making a living. Dare to step out and live the life you were destined to live. Live a life of passion and purpose.

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Leadership Minute: The Privilege

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Leadership is a privilege to better the lives of others. It is not an opportunity to satisfy personal greed. – Mwai Kibaki

This is perhaps one of the key essentials every leader needs to understand. When you exercise your influence as a leader it should be to this end: to better the lives of others. Think if you will of the most influential leaders who have inspired and made their mark on your life. This should be the motive and objective of your leadership. When we commit to elevating others around us and leaving the world a better place we are fulfilling the higher calling of our leadership. Leadership truly is a privilege.  Use it to make better those around you.

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Leadership Minute: Refuse to Quit

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Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. – Napoleon Hill

The payoff of your efforts will only be realized when you remain committed to the cause and not give up. Too often we complicate the secrets to success. And danger can be found in oversimplifying it. Here is a formula for success that I think will work: DG (dream or goal) +DH (determination and hard work) +RQ (refusal to quit) = Success. You have to know where you are going, be willing to work hard, and ultimately, not give up if you want to see it come to pass. Regardless of the obstacles you face today stay the course, refuse to give up, you can achieve your goals!

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Leadership Minute: Seal of Approval

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Most fears of rejection rest on the desire for approval. Don’t base your self-esteem on their opinions. – Harvey Mackay

If as a leader you are seeking or depending upon the approval of others for your validation as a leader you had better fasten your seatbelt. It’s going to be a bumpy ride. Developing your sense of worth as a leader comes from within. It’s when you embrace your God-given talents and abilities that you can be humble when receiving praise and forgiving when being criticized. Because it’s then you realize that your purpose as a leader is not to make everyone else happy. Be confident in the abilities you have. Be gracious to all. Be the best version of you that you can be!

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Five Characteristics of Resolute Leaders

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The path to success is to take massive, determined action. – Tony Robbins

In his book, “What Makes Olympic Champions?”, John E. Anderson relates a story from the 1992 Summer Olympics that featured two tremendously poignant moments. American sprinter Gail Devers, the clear leader in the 100 meter hurdles, tripped over the last barrier. She agonizingly pulled herself to her knees and crawled the last five meters, finishing fifth- but finishing.

Even more heart-rending was the 400 meter semifinal in which British runner Derek Redmond tore a hamstring and fell to the track. He struggled to his feet and began to hobble, determined to complete the race. His father ran from the stands to help him off the track, but the athlete refused to quit. He leaned on his father, and the two limped to the finish line together, to deafening applause.

Hang around in leadership long enough and you will come to know that leadership is not for wimps. It takes a tremendous amount of perseverance and determination in order to succeed. As we begin a new year now might be a good time to revisit some of the characteristics of resolute leadership and why they are important. Here are five for consideration.

Uncommon Discipline

Many things will compete for your time and attention as a leader. Discipline is necessary for time management and as a buffer against trivial things that constantly compete for your attention. Possessing the discipline to not be distracted by things in the margins will require this skill. Discipline is also necessary in order to set the pace for others in your organization. When discipline is strong best practices will follow.

Unwavering Values

Resolute leaders stick to their core values. When your values are clear to you and to everyone else in your organization then it simplifies the decision making process. If a policy or action doesn’t line up with your core values then the decision-making process is streamlined. Knowing your core values is essential to your operation. Have you defined them? Can everyone accurately communicate them? If not, make this a priority. Values keep you ground and give you direction.

Strength in Adversity

Every leader faces adversity. The test of your leadership is not whether you will face challenges but in how you will respond to them and how quickly you can put them behind you. Your strength is not developed in adversity but rather it is revealed in adversity. The strength that gets you through adversity is grown over time and is a maturity factor of your leadership. A resolute leader will not back down in adversity but will see it as just another milestone in his or her growth as a leader.

Enthusiastic About Relationships

A resolute leader is a relationship builder. One primary reason is because a leader can’t do it alone. The success of the leader is tied to the success of those around him. The leader who stands the test of time is the one who has learned the secret of building relationships, and thus, the people around him. John Maxwell’s principle of “walking slowly through the crowd” is one that comes to mind. When you take the time to build relationships and realize it’s one of the most essential skills as a leader you will be resolute leader surrounded with by a great host of people to share the journey.

Passionate About the Future

Resolute leaders have learned how to navigate through adversity, have the discipline to lead themselves and others, have built relationships, and are passionate about the future. Come what may, resolute leaders are optimistic. Through hard work and perseverance, the future is bright for those who choose to see it. When your values are aligned with your vision you can proceed with confidence in knowing that today can be good and tomorrow can be even better.

What do you say?

 

© 2014 Doug Dickerson

 

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Know When To Let Go

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When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it’s best to let him go. – Abraham Lincoln

A well-known story in some sectors of coastal communities such as where I live is that of the crab mentality. It is used to describe selfish or short-sighted people whose thinking bends toward the notion of, “If I can’t have it, neither can you”.

The crab basket mentality says that if you have a pot of crabs and one is climbing out in an effort to escape then the others will pull him back down rather than allow it to go free.  The other crabs had rather share the same doomed fate than allow another among its ranks to climb out.

As a leader you may find yourself in a crab basket with others who have the same intentions for you. You get the raise or promotion and inevitably someone is jealous and you feel that subtle tug. You landed that coveted new account and strangely now begin to feel the claws of others around you. Every time you make an effort to move up and better yourself you have to resist the tug of those who would like to pull you down and hold you back. But you have to learn to let them go. Here are three things to consider as you climb out of the crab basket.

Let go of your past.

Before anyone in your present can restrict you in a negative way you must lighten your load and let go of negative things from your past. So long as you hold on to past defeats, mistakes, or bad attitudes you will never climb to the heights you desire.

Your climb to the top of the basket begins when you make peace with your past and place yourself in a position to climb unencumbered toward your goals and dreams. When you let go of the past you can create your future. Your climb up begins here. You may have to forgive others; you may have to forgive yourself. But you will not move up so long as you allow your past to hold you down.

Let go of bad people.

This is perhaps one of the hardest things to learn as a leader. But if you are ever going to climb your way to the top of the basket and live above the level of mediocrity you will have to separate yourself from those who want to hold you down.

It may be hard because up until now you may have seen these crabs as your friends. They have been colleagues; you have enjoyed happy hour together, and thought of them as allies. But keep this in mind – good people do not try to sabotage your success they celebrate it. Good people do not try attempt to pull you down but had rather climb up with you. As a leader you have to wise up and recognize that not everyone in the pot with you wants to see you succeed. Be strong enough to acknowledge it and have the courage when necessary to climb alone.

Let go of small dreams.

In the bottom of the crab basket there is not much room for growth and the view is always the same. The way out is up. It’s when you fix your eyes on larger dreams and possibilities that you begin to realize that life in the basket is never going to change. The road to your improvement begins with the choice to climb out.

It’s been written and asked many times but I will share it again here: What would you attempt to do if you knew that you could not fail? What are you dreams? I don’t know what’s in your heart but I do know this to be true – until you let go of your past, and let go of bad people, you will always have small dreams. It’s time to let go of every bad attitude, toxic relationship, and negative influence that would attempt to pull you down.

Your way out begins with by taking the first step. Let go and start climbing!

© 2013 Doug Dickerson

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Leadership Minute: Think About It

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I paint objects as I think them, not as I see them.  – Pablo Picasso

This is an important leadership characteristic. What you think, the attitudes you have, tend to become your reality. We have to carefully guard those thoughts. Our preconceived views can be wrong. Our judgments and perceptions can fall short. But just as Picasso would paint objects as he would see them, so too, can we better create if we have an open mind. Be willing to withhold judgment until you learn more; be creative in your approach with others for a more desirable outcome. Think thoughts that are good, positive, and productive. The outcome will be much nicer.

 

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Leadership Minute: At Ease

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Try to be like the turtle- at ease in your own shell. – Bill Copeland

One of the finer points of successful leadership is learning how to be comfortable in your own skin. With so many demands and expectations it can be cumbersome at times to say the least. But an earmark of authentic leadership comes from authenticity and self-awareness. Finding your place of contentment and solitude can give you an advantage on many levels. When you are at ease it causes others to be at ease around you. Find your place of solitude and ease. You will be the better for it. So will others.

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Courage to Finish Strong

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A great part of courage is the courage of having done the thing before. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Paul Harvey shared the story of Ray Blankenship. One summer morning Blankenship was preparing breakfast when he gazed out the window, and saw a girl being swept away in the rain-flooded drainage ditch beside his Andover, Ohio, home. He knew that further downstream, the ditch disappeared into a roar underneath a road and then emptied into the main culvert.

Ray dashed out the door and raced along the ditch, trying to get ahead of the foundering child. The he hurled himself into the deep, churning water. He was able to grab the child’s arm as they tumbled end over end. Despite the rushing waters and the great challenge it presented, Blankenship managed to pull the girl to safety. Both were treated for shock.

Ray Blankenship was awarded the Coast Guard’s Silver Lifesaving Medal. The award was fitting, for this selfless person was at even greater risk to himself than most people knew. Ray Blankenship can’t swim.

Courage is an essential trait in leadership. It’s needed on many levels and can make the difference between average leaders and great ones. How you lead, the decisions you make and the respect you earn, in part, is based upon the level of courage you have and how you represent yourself to those around you.

As we knock on the door of 2014 now might be a good time to reflect in order to gain some perspective going forward. The courage you need to lead tomorrow is gained through the wisdom of hindsight. Having the courage to look back will help you as you go forward. Here are four ways to do it.

Courage to celebrate the victories.

Every success you’ve have along the way, large or small, should be celebrated.  When you take the time to recognize the hard work and sacrifices your organization has made and the people who helped make it happen it’s a morale builder. Don’t neglect the victories you’ve had. They are the signposts of hard work, sacrifice, determination and commitment.  Move forward determined to relive them often. You create a winners mindset when you celebrate like winners.

Courage to learn from your defeats.

You don’t want to get bogged down here, but you do need to learn from your defeats. Learn what you did wrong, what could have been done differently, and what to do better next time. Defeats can serve a purpose if you will face them with the right attitude and with a determination not to repeat them. Did you have some defeats in 2013? Me too. But I’m not going to sulk in defeat, and neither should you. Get up. Dust yourself off. Get moving.

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Courage to take new risks.

As you close out the year you do so with the advantage of looking back at your successes and failures in context. Now armed with lessons learned you can chart out a path for the New Year with greater clarity and purpose. What you may need is a fresh infusion of courage to take new risks, branch out of comfort zones that have turned into self-made barriers, and dare to go to new heights. It doesn’t take courage to be mediocre, but it does if you are going to take some risks. Just like Ray Blankenship had to take the plunge into the water to save the girl, you too, may need to take the plunge in 2014 if you are going to accomplish great things.

Courage to start anew.

“Courage is being scared to death…and saddling up anyway,” said John Wayne. 2014 is your year to saddle up, face your fears, step out with courage, and dare to become and to achieve your goals. You have a clean slate. Be courageous. Dare to dream and take a risk. This is your moment of courage.

© 2013 Doug Dickerson

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