Taming Your Inner Cynic

cynic

Any jackass can kick down a barn, but it takes a carpenter to build one. – Sam Rayburn

The story is told of a judge who had been frequently ridiculed by a conceited lawyer. When asked by a friend why he didn’t rebuke his assailant, he replied, “In our town lives a widow who has a dog. And whenever the moon shines, it goes outside and barks all night.” Having said that, the magistrate shifted the conversation to another subject. Finally someone asked, “But Judge, what about the dog and the moon?” “Oh,” he replied, “the moon went on shining–that’s all.”

One of the dangers you face as a leader is in developing a cynical attitude. You try your best as a leader to keep a strong positive attitude; after all, you are the one setting the example for others. But we all know that the mental, physical, and emotional toll of being a leader can get to the best among us at times.

Symptoms of cynicism are obvious- if not to you, then to others around you. A cynical leader thinks worse-case scenarios, has an outlook that is more negative, and is too quick to notice the flaws in other people. He tends to second guess peoples motives and is increasingly insecure. This type of behavior can be viewed as “out of character” by those who know you best and are signs that cynicism has taken root.

Taming your inner cynic can be challenging. There are just some days and some people who will take you to your limit. I get it.  So what is a leader to do? Here are five suggestions to help you come back to the bright side.

Choose to be thankful

Instead of being quick to complain about how bad things are why not choose a thankful attitude instead? When you shift your focus to all of the good in your life then your attitude will begin to change. It becomes harder to be negative with a thankful heart.

Choose to be quiet

Cynical people tend to not only be negative but often time very vocal. Instead of saying the first negative thing that comes to mind why not just pause; take a deep breath, and keep that thought to yourself. You never have to apologize for the words you don’t say.

Choose to listen

Cynical people can be that way because they are formulating thoughts, opinions, and attitudes often with incomplete information. A good idea for you as a leader is to listen to your people and gather facts before you speak or make a decision.

Choose to take some down time

There is an old saying, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” that should be taken to heart. I’m convinced that most cynicism in leaders is attributed to this thought.  It is important for all leaders to have quality down time to re-charge and re-connect– to rest and be restored mentally and physically. Leaders need rest.

Choose to make a difference

The attitude at the top of the organization tends to be the one throughout the organization. As a leader you carry that responsibility. The daily choices you make are critical not only for your well-being but for those you lead.

No leader is immune from stress and each battles the temptation to be cynical at times. But know this: cynicism is a choice and is a reflection upon your leadership style. The discipline of a good attitude over being cynical is winnable. The outcome rests in your daily choices.

In closing, let me leave you with some inspiration from the Anyway poem attributed to Mother Teresa:

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

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Aim Close: Bringing the Big Picture Down to Size

aim

If you set goals and go after them with all the determination you can muster, your gifts will take you places that will amaze you. – Les Brown

Imagine what the game of bowling would be like if you couldn’t see the pins you were trying to hit. In 1933, Bill Knox did just that — and bowled a perfect game. In Philadelphia’s Olney Alleys, Bill had a screen placed just above the foul line to obscure his view of the lane. His purpose was to demonstrate the technique of spot bowling, which involves throwing the ball at a selected floor mark on the near end of the lane. Like many bowlers, Bill knew that you can do better if you aim at a mark close to you that’s in line with the pins. He proved his point with a perfect 300 game of 12 strikes in a row.

In leadership circles we hear much talk about seeing the big picture and why it is important. And I agree with most all of it. It is imperative to have a visual of where you are going. Without seeing the big picture your vision as a leader is diminished along with your effectiveness. How can you lead others to an unfamiliar place?

Seeing the big picture and attaining big goals is the desire of every effective leader. But if your focus is always on the big picture – the end result, then the very thing you are aiming for can be lost because of a lack of focus on the small things. What’s the answer? Aim close. Here are four ways you can keep the big picture in perspective while not losing sight of where you are going.

Align your goals

Reaching long-range goals is achieved through a series of short-range steps. The big picture makes sense to you from a pragmatic point of view, but it materializes through a process of short-range goals. As a leader it is up to you to aim close for maximum impact. Uppermost in your mind should be whether the achievement of your goals today will take you closer to the big picture tomorrow. Aligning your goals is akin to piecing together a jigsaw puzzle. Your goals are those small pieces that eventually come together to make a beautiful picture.

Align your people

The key ingredient to your success is your people. Building a team of like-minded people who see the big picture is critical to your success. Who you align yourself with will make all the difference. Not everyone will take the journey with you. Others will take the journey with you who are not yet on your team. But know this: just as your car needs to be properly aligned to run smooth so does your team. If your team is not aligned in its mission, goals, and purpose, then the big picture will always be elusive.

Align your priorities

It’s always wise to keep the big picture in mind. It’s serves as a constant reminder of what it’s all about for you. But the reality of the big picture is realized when you aim close with your priorities. Just like the bowler in the above story, you don’t have to see all the pins to have a strike. You can get there one frame at a time. The key is to aim close to goals you can reach this month, this week, and today. When your priorities are aligned to the big picture it becomes much easier to lead.

Align your values

Every success-minded person I come across has a high set of standards and expectations. They have learned how to weather setbacks, difficulties, and the voices who those who say it can’t be done. They are relentless in their pursuit of their big picture and have the passion to go after it. When your values are aligned with your big picture then decision making is easier. Today’s decision to lead with integrity places you one step closer to goals tomorrow. Aiming close with your values aligned brings clarity to the big picture. Even if everything else is murky, your values will always guide you in the right direction.

Your big picture should inspire and motivate you on your leadership journey. Aim close for maximum impact. Stay the course and you will get there.

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

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What Five Top Leaders Teach us About Mistakes

mistakes

A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing. – George Bernard Shaw

Fred Rogers shared a story about a young apprentice who applied to a master carpenter for a job. The older man asked him, “Do you know your trade?” “Yes sir!” the young man replied proudly.

“Have you ever made a mistake?” the older man inquired. “No sir!” the young man answered, feeling certain he would get the job. “Then there’s no way I’m going to hire you,” said the master carpenter, “because when you make one, you won’t know how to fix it.”

Mistakes are as much a part of our lives in leadership as any success. This is so because on the journey to success we make many mistakes. It’s all a part of the learning and the journey. I know I’ve made my fair share of mistakes and then some, how about you?

Churchill wisely observed, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” In the end, it’s not that you will make mistakes or have failures, but it’s all about your response and what you learn when you experience them.

From some of the top thinkers in leadership come words of advice and wisdom to help you put your mistakes in perspective. Here are my five favorites.

John Wooden – “If you’re not making mistakes, then you’re not doing anything. I’m positive that a doer makes mistakes.”

Wooden’s take on mistakes should encourage all of us. Mistakes are made by “doers” who dare to take risks and accomplish their goals and dreams. Mistakes will not come to the person sitting on the sidelines and who is otherwise disengaged from the race. Setbacks and failures are made by doers like Edison, Ford, Disney, Spielberg, and you. Get in the game, get your hands dirty, and get a few mistakes under your belt. The sooner you do the sooner you will enjoy success.

Steve Jobs – “Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations.”

Steve Jobs characterizes people who make mistakes as “innovators”. Perhaps you’ve never thought of it this way before, but it’s a great perspective. Innovators are those tenacious people who never give up. Regardless of the ridicule, adversity, or circumstances, these innovators will gladly welcome the challenges that come with making mistakes. Your mistakes can either be your fuel and fire, or a bucket of water dashed upon your dreams. When you make mistakes- innovate!

Dale Carnegie – “The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.”

What Carnegie is saying here is that no mistake, setback, or failure is ever in vain if you approach it with the right attitude and learn from it. Essential here is the learning. If you keep repeating the same mistakes over and over again you haven’t learned from it. Profiting from your mistakes is when you figure out why the mistake happened and turning that negative experience into a positive one. Your success as a leader is connected to what you learn and applying the lesson.

Les Brown – “Forgive yourself for your faults and mistakes and move on.”

This is such good advice. We’ve all made our fair share of mistakes. But what good would any of us be as leaders if all we did was beat ourselves up because of our mistakes? Success will come to the leader who, after making a mistake, forgives himself/herself and moves on with a renewed purpose and determination to succeed. Don’t wallow in your mistakes, cut yourself some slack, and get moving.

John Maxwell – “The greatest mistake we make is living in constant fear that we will make one.”

This is such a powerful truth that all success-minded leaders should embrace. None of us will achieve any level of success without making mistakes, experiencing setbacks, and feeling the sting of failures. But living in a constant state of fear of making a mistake will only impede you from being in the game and trying. Don’t let the fear of failure paralyze you from being fully engaged and ready to compete, and ready to win.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

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How to Embrace a ‘Why Not Me?’ Attitude

possiblities

You can start from where you are with what you have and go where you want to go. – Carey D. Lohrenz

In her book, Fearless Leadership, (On Amazon at http://amzn.to/1RJSSCS) Carey D. Lohrenz shares her tremendous insights on fearless leadership and the courage to chase your dreams. The Navy’s first female F-14 Tomcat fighter pilot, Lohrenz knows a thing or two about embracing fears, chasing “impossible” dreams, and having the courage to not give up in the face of overwhelming odds.

In the book she references Dharmesh Shah, the confounder and chief technology officer of Hubspot and his belief that “one of the qualities of truly confident people is their inclination to think, “Why not me?” rather than sit on their hands and wait for an opportunity that never comes.”

A casual study of any successful entrepreneur, inventor, writer, etc. will reveal a common thread of tenacity and a ‘why not me?’ attitude that started it all.

What are your goals and dreams? How long will you wait for that dream to come true before you make a decision to act on it? Here are a few tips on how to embrace a ‘why not me?’ attitude.

Embrace your gifts

Embracing your gifts and talents is the first step on your journey. For Lohrenz it was to be a Navy aviator. While that may not be your goal, you must embrace your gifts and chase your dream if you ever want to achieve it. It’s when you embrace what is unique and special about you that you can live it to the fullest. 

Embrace your fear

One of the chief obstacles you will face with a ‘why not me?’ attitude is fear. Fear will be that voice whispering in your ear that you can’t do it; that you are not talented or skilled enough, that you don’t come from the right pedigree, you are too young or too old, and the list goes on. Embracing your fear is the first step in conquering it. Don’t listen to the voices of anyone else who seeks to hold you back. 

Embrace your struggles

Any dream or goal worth achieving will be met with setbacks and disappointments. It comes with the territory. The ‘why not me?’ attitude understands that it won’t always be smooth sailing and if this is my attitude going forward then ‘it will be me’ facing down my fears and struggles on the way to reaching my goals and dreams.

Embrace your new mindset

Going forward with a ‘why not me?’ attitude will require a new mindset and a self-discipline that you must nurture and develop. It will propel you to a new level of thinking and hard work. Gone will be the days of limited thinking and throwing in the towel when rejected or discouraged. This new attitude is tenacious and courageous in the face of whatever obstacle you face. It also embraces that idea that you are indeed capable and qualified to be the leader you desire to become.

Embrace your possibilities

When you first embrace this ‘why not me?’ attitude you may have had before you some attainable goals or dreams by your own assessment. But when you fully embrace this new attitude you have now taken the lid off of your self-imposed potential. Now a whole new world of possibilities are before you. How? You are removing one of the greatest obstacles – limited thinking. That’s exactly what Carey Lohrenz did when she made up her mind to become a Navy aviator. When you embrace your possibilities and potential the sky is the limit.

Embrace your success

This is the opposite side of the coin from fear. We know how fear works: the fear of failure, the fear of what other people may think or say, etc. But the fear of success can be just as harmful. So instead of embracing our dreams, instead of stepping out and taking a risk, we settle for mediocrity. We settle for what’s comfortable. We forfeit the dream. When you embrace the ‘why not me?’ attitude you also embrace the unlimited world of possibilities and successes that can be yours.

Embracing a ‘why not me?’ attitude is a calculated risk. It’s risking the known for the unknown, the status quo for next level success. It’s embracing a life that could be for a life that is. The choice is yours. I encourage you to embrace the ‘why not me?’ attitude – the world needs leaders like you!

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

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Why Do The Good Ones Leave?

quit

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more,  you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams

How is the organizational culture where you work? How is morale? Depending on the day and when asked, the answers can run the gambit of responses and emotions.

A document was discovered in the ruins of a London office building. It was dated 1852. Here are a few of the notices that were posted for a group of employees: 1) This firm has reduced the hours of work, and clerical staff will only have to be present between the hours of 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. weekdays, 2) Now that the hours of business have been drastically reduced, the partaking of food is allowed between 11:30 and noon, but work will not on any account cease, 3) No talking is allowed during business hours, and 4) The craving for tobacco, wine, or spirits is a human weakness, and as such is forbidden to all members of the clerical staff.

Would you like to reconsider your answer about morale in your organization now?

Here’s what we do know from polling and surveys, like this one from Gallup (http://bit.ly/1uUCjpX) that reports employees are just not as engaged as they once were.

It’s been said that people don’t quit organizations, they quit leaders. It’s a sad but true commentary on the lack of leadership skills that are so desperately needed in the workplace.

There are consequences to poor leadership and where it’s not present, people will leave to find it. Inevitably it’s the good employees who leave. Left behind is a weakened and demoralized team forced to pick up the pieces.

But why do the good ones leave? What is the tipping point in which a good employee will cash in the chips and bolt? The specifics vary, of course, but typically the good ones leave for these reasons.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no backbone

This type of leader plays to the crowd and will say whatever he or she thinks you want to hear. The good ones had rather hear the uncomfortable truth than the pleasant sounds of an appeaser. The good ones want a leader who is not afraid to make the difficult decisions.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no vision

The good ones long for and thrive in an environment where the leader has a vision for the future, can articulate it, and sets a course of action that will take them there. The good ones understand that without a clear vision for the future there is no future to be had by staying.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no skin in the game

It will be hard to command the respect of your people if you have no skin in the game as it relates to your organization and its mission. You can’t expect a buy-in from your people if you are not fully invested yourself. The good ones seek to be with leaders who are as passionately invested as they are.

The good ones leave because of leaders who place limits on their potential

The good ones will thrive in a culture of excellence where their hard work and talents are put to best use. The good ones will not sit idly by while the leader plays politics or favorites and be denied the opportunity to advance professionally.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no accountability

The good ones fundamentally understand that accountability and transparency are the cornerstones of success. When a leader no longer feels the need to be transparent or be accountable for his or her actions, then the good ones will not stay. Trust is like glue for the leader, is there is none, people won’t stick.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no boundaries

Ultimately, the leader is responsible for the culture of the organization. If proper boundaries are not being observed and inappropriate behaviors are being tolerated- such as bullying, then the good ones will not stay in that environment.

The good ones leave because of leaders with no integrity

At the end of the day it all comes down to the integrity of the leader. The good ones want their leader to be a person of integrity and one they can trust. If integrity is lacking in the leader then integrity will be lacking in the culture. The good ones will leave to avoid the connection.

Many personal factors contribute to the reasons why the good ones tend to leave and move on. I’ve discovered that it’s not always for the money or a promotion. The good ones understand the wisdom of the words of John Maxwell who once said, “Everything rises and falls on leadership.” That’s why the good ones leave- to be with good leaders.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

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Random Acts of Leadership

leadership

Leadership is practiced not so much in words as in attitude and actions. – Harold S. Geneen

In his book, Everyday a Friday, Joel Osteen shares a story about a letter he received in the mail one day during his early days of pastoring. It was during a period of time when he was filled with much self-doubt. The letter was from John Maxwell.

Although at the time they had never met, the letter was filled with words of encouragement and hope. “I watched you on television on Sunday and you were outstanding. I’ve got to tell you, you’ve got what it takes,” Maxwell told him. He also shared suggestions and advice on how to be less nervous and how he prepares for when he speaks.

Regarding the letter, Osteen said, “He had forty years of experience, and he was voluntarily pouring it into a man he’d never even met before. He didn’t have to do that. He’d already won. But John understands this principle: True success is when you reach back and bring somebody along with you.”

That John Maxwell didn’t have to write that letter is a given, that he did write that letter speaks to the power of random acts of leadership.

It’s been said that the soft skills of leadership are the hardest. That may be true. Leaders shoulder a great responsibility and results are important. But it’s as leaders understand that unless you get the soft skills right it will always impede your growth and the productivity of your team.

Striking the right balance in your relational skill set is important. You want and expect your team to be productive without sacrificing the relational skills that create the culture you work and thrive in.

Random acts of leadership follows the principle of random acts of kindness. It’s a leadership philosophy that that revolves around the idea that we are all in this together and when we care for one another we all win.

What does random acts of leadership look like? I submit to you that it’s not complicated. Here are a few ways you can show it.

Give unconditionally

The letter John Maxwell sent to Joel Osteen is a classic example of giving unconditionally. It was unsolicited with no expectation of anything in return. It was just an act of generosity that made a difference. Giving unconditionally is a random act of leadership that says, “I get it. I see your struggle, I’ve been there. I believe in you.” And then you act on it.

Listen attentively

Now and then people just need to vent. They may not need you to be their “answer man” but rather just to listen. For all of its rewards, leadership can be lonely and having a confidant to go to can make a world of difference. Your random act of leadership can simply be taking a friend to lunch and being a sounding board.

Connect intentionally

It is incumbent upon you as a leader to connect with your people. Don’t wait for them to take the first steps – you do it. A good leader initiates.  Whether you have been brought together with your people by choice or by coincidence, take the first steps to building the relationship. Connecting intentionally is a random act of leadership that seeks to know, relate, and broaden the circle of influence for everyone.

Praise generously

Nothing can demoralize your people any quicker than work gone unnoticed or a team member not appreciated for their efforts. Understand this: People are your most appreciable asset and how they are treated matters. Random acts of leadership –showing appreciation for a job well done, will go a long way in building that person up and boosting morale in your organization. Be generous in praising your people.

These are but a few of the random acts of leadership that will make a difference. What would you add to the list?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

 

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The 5 C’s of Employee Engagement

employee

Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out. – Stephen Covey

Randall Beck and Jim Harter teamed up to write a most revealing article in the Gallup Business Journal (http://bit.ly/1Jz4kv6) that every CEO, executive, manager, and leader should read. The findings, in short, reveal: only 30% of U.S. employees and 13% worldwide, are engaged, over the past 12 years those low numbers have barely budged.

In addition they add, “Knowledge, experience and skills develop our talents into strengths, but unless people possess the right innate talents for our job, no amount of training or experience will lead to exceptional performance.” Do you see the disconnect?

One thing we know for sure – the challenges in the workplace have never been greater. Too often people with “management potential” are elevated into those positions but do not have the necessary leadership skills to be effective. The result? Frustrated mangers who wonder why they can’t get anything done, companies with low morale, high turnover, and no sense of direction or vision.

Beck and Harter continue, “When a company raises employee engagement levels consistently across every business unit, everything gets better.” And herein lies the secret to raising the numbers – raising employee engagement.

Employee engagement is not a management skill; it’s a leadership skill. Employee engagement is a people skill that transcends management or business know-how. Management skill minus leadership skills can be detrimental, but when the two are combined it can be a powerful tool that can create great opportunity.

Key to the findings and to turning the low numbers around was managers who consistently engage their employees. The issues are complex and the solutions vary. That being said, here are my 5 C’s for Employee Engagement that can begin a process of improving employee engagement.

Be Current

A natural function of a manger is to focus on systems and structure. But if that is your only focus then you will always be a manger and likely never a good leader. Being current is not so much about numbers and the bottom line; rather it’s about being relationally up- to- date with your people. Before you can build your company you have to build relationships. John Maxwell was right when he said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Be in the moment with your people and they will be invested in you.

Be Consistent

Your people need to see that you are sincere in your desire to connect with them. If your people are important to you, and they are, then you need to be consistent in the manner in which you interact with them. Being current and consistent is not just paying lip-service to appease a few disgruntled people. It’s a genuine relational investment on your part. That does not mean you have to take them to the lake with you on the weekends, but it does show that you care. Being consistent is just as much for your benefit as it is for your people.

Be Conducive

It’s helpful and encouraging to your people to know that you are attentive to their ideas, concerns, and that you welcome their input. When you build conducive and safe environments for your team to be engaged it builds trust, boosts morale, and elevates their level of commitment to the organization. Foster a culture that promotes engagement and you will see positive changes. Rather than be a manager that relies on controlling your people, you should strive to become a leader that inspires the trust of your people.

Be Challenging

An engaged leader will challenge his or her people to maximize their talents, dare to take risks, and take ownership of their future. A conducive work environment is of no value unless your people are producing. Managers are more concerned about maintaining the status quo while leaders strive for new levels of excellence. This happens when leaders challenge their people to be their best.

Be Clear

Employee engagement rises and falls on good communication.  Consistent and clear communication is the life-blood of your organization.  Your people rely and depend on it. Clear communication is one of the single best ways to build the kind of engagement you need to be successful. Managers can be secretive and keep information close to the vest, but a smart leader shares information and thus builds a community of engagement.

Everything gets better with employee engagement. These simple steps are but a beginning. What would you add to the list? What step(s) would be most helpful to you if implemented today? Employees have been disengaged long enough. It’s time to act.

What do you say?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

Write Doug at: [email protected]

 

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30 Years Earlier: What I Wish I Knew About Leadership

time

A fool thinks himself to be wise, but a wise man knows himself to be a fool. – William Shakespeare

One of the benefits of aging (not that I am old) is attaining a certain amount of wisdom that can be garnered from it. Being able to look back over a certain span of time and reflect on where you’ve come and lessons learned can be instrumental in how you look to the future. Sharing those life lessons to a new generation of leaders can be invaluable.

The late George Burns once said, “You can’t help getting older, but you don’t have to get old.” That’s a great philosophy. But the aging process ultimately takes a toll on all of us.

What are some of the signs that you are getting older? Here are a few I came across that are my favorites: You know you’re getting older when… everything hurts and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work; the gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals; when you feel like the morning after and you haven’t been anywhere; your children begin to look middle aged; your favorite part of the newspaper is “20 Years Ago Today”; you sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going; and finally, your knees buckle and your belt won’t.

I’ve been reflecting lately on the things about leadership I wish I knew back in my twenties that I now know. If I had understood them better it would have saved me a lot of grief and heartache along the way. Here are a few things about leadership I wish I had known.

I don’t always have to be right.

I know many in their twenties who think they know it all. I was one of them way too often. With the passing of time I have learned how much I don’t know. What I wish I knew back then was that my formal education was only the beginning. The real educational experience began after graduation –it’s called the real world. I wish I knew in my twenties just how little I knew, and that I didn’t always have to be right.

Building bridges is more practical than burning them

I wish I knew in my twenties the depth and breadth of how important relationships are in leadership. Sadly at times, it was a “my way or the highway” attitude that culminated in sad endings. As I’ve grown older the more I understand and care about building healthy relationships. I’ve grown to appreciate connecting with like-minded people and building more bridges between them and others.

Titles don’t mean a lot

What I thought was important in my twenties was acquiring a title- that somehow that validated my leadership. With that was the idea that my position commanded respect, admiration, and approval. I was wrong. In hindsight after 30 years I understand that a position without respect, trust, and integrity are meaningless. I’d stop chasing titles and positions and focus more on serving others.

Forgiveness is a virtue

Taking up the mantle of leadership is risky business. With all of the joys and rewards associated with it, also come disappointments and frustrations. In my twenties when I was wronged it was hard not to take it personal and not hold a grudge. What I wish I had known back then was that my unforgiveness was not hurting the person who offended me, it was hurting me instead. Life is too short to hold grudges and be mad. Forgive and move on. And remember, you will need to be forgiven at some point.

It’s not about me

The narcissism of my twenties has given way to the “selfie” narcissism we see in today’s culture. Back in my twenties, of course, there were no cell phones, internet, Facebook, etc. But the leadership principle remains. What I wish I knew then that I know now is that the ultimate act of my leadership is not what I do for myself but in what I do for others. My leadership is not meant to be self-serving but rather what I can do to add value to the lives of those around me.

One thing is certain–life in leadership is a continual learning process. Wherever you are on your journey, never stop growing.

What lessons have you learned?

* What would you add to the list? I’d really like to hear from you! Please leave your comments and the lessons you’ve learned!

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

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Hope For Discouraged Leaders

Feeling down

If you are alive and breathing, you can still become everything God has created you to be. – Joel Osteen

In 1858 the Illinois legislature- using an obscure statute- sent Stephen A. Douglas to the U.S. Senate instead of Abraham Lincoln, although Lincoln had won the popular vote. When a sympathetic friend asked Lincoln how he felt, he said, “Like the boy who stubbed his toe: I am too big to cry and too badly hurt to laugh.”

If you hang around in leadership long enough and you will know what discouragement feels like.  I’m not trying to depress you but simply stating the obvious. Behind the glittering image and friendly smiles are leaders who face incredible pressures and shoulder responsibilities that can be daunting. Unfortunately, many leaders feel trapped with no one to talk with or vent to due to the “glittering image” that they feel compelled to present to the public.

So let’s be honest. Times of discouragement will come. How you react to it will make all the difference going forward. As a leader, you are not immune from troubles-in fact, you may have more. So how do you keep a proper perspective and come through it on the other side a better leader? Here are three reminders that you need to consider.

You are not alone

Life happens to all of us. It’s not always pretty. As a leader you know this to be true. Disappointments come – you didn’t land that new client, a colleague betrayed you, sales are sluggish – you get the picture.

Here is what you need to know: your disappointment today is preparing you for great opportunities tomorrow. But there’s a catch. It all hinges on your attitude. While bad things can happen to good people; good people turn bad things into great opportunities.

At a young age Walt Disney easily could have been discouraged and given up. He was fired by the editor of a newspaper for “lacking ideas”. He could have taken his rejection and thrown in the towel. But if anything he used that experience to motivate him to greater things – and the rest as they say is history.

So when times of disappoint and discouragement come remember this truth – you are not alone.

You are stronger than you think

One truth I’ve learned over the years is this: you can be defined by life’s moments or you can define life’s moments.  So how do you define life’s moments?  You do so by choosing faith over fear, forgiveness over resentment, and by embracing God’s view of your life over man’s view. You don’t always have control over what comes your way but you can choose your path going forward.

Thomas Edison experienced one of those defining moments in his career. His lab caught fire and was destroyed. All of his work went up in flames. To add insult to injury, his building was under-insured. It was a devastating and defining moment. How would he respond?

“There is great value in disaster,” said Edison, “all our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew.” Edison did not choose the fire, but he did choose to define the moment.

Here is the truth to remember: We don’t like adversity and disappointments because we mistakenly believe that we can’t handle it. But I submit that you are stronger than you think and you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way. Are you ready to define your moment?

You are not defined by your past you are prepared by it

Every experience that you go through is preparation for what’s next.  Along the way you have gained valuable experience. Some of it has come easy while at other times you wish you could have a do-over. It’s all part of the learning curve. I’ve been there countless times and I dare say you have as well.

But if you want to move forward as a leader you have to learn to let go of the past – especially the bad, and cut yourself some slack. What’s important is that you have learned your lessons, have peace in your heart, and are stronger as a result.

Discouragement sets in when you see yourself through the lens of a failure rather than through the lens of grace.

Here is the truth you need to remember: you are not the sum of your fears or your mistakes.  Your past is your boot camp and it has prepared you for such a time as this.

Times of discouragement will come. But the good news is- it will pass. Stay strong and be encouraged. You are not alone, you are strong, and you are prepared!

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

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Becoming a Better Team Player

Team_Rowing_Hard

If a team is to reach its potential, each player must be willing to subordinate his personal goals to the good of the team. – Bud Wilkinson

To highlight its annual picnic one year, a company rented two racing shells and challenged a rival company to a boat race. The rival company accepted. On the day of the picnic, everyone entered into the spirit of the event. Women wore colorful summer dresses and big, floppy hats. Men wore straw skimmers and white pants. Bands played and banners waved. Finally the race began.

To the consternation of the host company, the rival team immediately moved to the front and was never headed. It won by 11 lengths. The management of the host company was embarrassed by its showing and promptly appointed a committee to place responsibility for the failure and make recommendations to improve the host team’s chances in a rematch the following year. The committee appointed several task forces to study various aspects of the race. They met for three months and issued a preliminary report. In essence, the report said that the rival crew had been unfair.

“They had eight people rowing and one coxswain steering and shouting out the beat,” the report said. “We had one person rowing and eight coxswains.” The chairman of the board thanked the committee and sent it away to study the matter further and make recommendations for the rematch. Four months later the committee came back with a recommendation: “Our guy has to row faster.”

We hear much today about teamwork and intuitively we understand its importance. Unfortunately, too many want to sit in the boat and shout out instructions and too few want to row.

Becoming a better team player is an evolving process. It requires continual work and evaluation. Perhaps a few questions are in order to help you gauge your effectiveness as a team player in your organization. Here are a few for starters.

Is my niche still a fit?

Every team player has a niche as it relates to his or her role on the team. It’s important to know what it is. It’s even more important as time goes on to make sure that your growth and the growth of your organization are in harmony. If the team has outgrown you, or you have outgrown the team, then adjustments need to be made.

Do I still have the right motives?

Effective team players think “we” over “me”. If that has changed or you’ve succumbed to playing politics to get your way then perhaps you are not the team player you once were. Team players at heart are selfless and are willing to set aside their personal agendas for the good of the team.

Am I supportive of my teammates?

A good team player doesn’t allow petty jealousies to take root and can celebrate the accomplishments of fellow teammates. Why? Because when one succeeds the team succeeds. Being a good team player is about being a good sport. When you are willing to share the spotlight eventually it will shine on you.

Am I still coachable?

The most difficult player on any sports team is the one who thinks he knows it all and can’t be coached. This type of attitude is drain on the rest of the team. When a team member goes rogue it creates a vacuum that other team members have to step up and fill. So be honest; are you still coachable? A smart leader knows there is still more to learn and a wise leader is humble enough to acknowledge it.

Am I still passionate?

A good team player is passionate about the mission and vision of the organization. Do you still have that ‘fire in the belly” that inspires you to be your best, give your best, and bring out the best in your teammates? That type of passion is what championship teams are made of and is what will see you through adversity and lead you to victory.

Baseball great babe Ruth said, “The way the team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, the club won’t be worth a dime.” That is the secret to the success of your team and it’s the secret to your success as a team player. As you commit yourself to your teammates the possibilities of great success can’t be overstated.

Becoming a better team player is about intentionally looking inward from time to time and making adjustments where needed.

Are you a team player?

 

© 2015 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

 

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