How Anger Shapes You as a Leader

anger

We boil at different degrees. – Clint Eastwood

A story is told of the 18th-century British physician John Hunter, who was a pioneer in the field of surgery and served as surgeon to King George III, who suffered from angina. Discovering that his attacks were often brought on by anger, Hunter lamented, “My life is at the mercy of any scoundrel who chooses to put me in a passion.” These words proved prophetic, for at a meeting of the board of St. George’s Hospital in London, Hunter got into a heated argument with other board members, walked out, and dropped dead in the next room.

As a leader it is important to know how to deal with anger. Let’s face it, we’ve all had moments when our anger has got the best of us and we’ve said and down things in hindsight that we wish we hadn’t. Yet how we deal with our anger is what will distinguish us as a leader who commands respect. So here are a few helpful reminders and solutions to keep in mind before anger gets the best of you.

Not all anger is bad

The scripture says in Ephesians 4:26, “Be angry and do not sin, do not let the sun go down on your wrath.” There is a line when you get angry that you do not want to cross. It’s the point where words and actions can do irreversible harm. But anger itself is not bad. It means that you are invested, care, and are passionate about something. Understand that your emotion of anger is not bad, it all comes down to your response.

Not all pleasantness is good

As a leader you need to set the example with your attitude and actions and with the composure you present to your people. All smiles and little truth telling can be just as harmful as misguided anger. Expectations with your team need to be clear. As a leader you need to strike a balance between anger that hurts you and pleasantness that weakens you.

Anger is your stop sign before taking action

Before acting on anger that may have been building up over a span of time– stop. Important to consider here is an understanding of why you are angry, whom your anger might be geared toward, and what the proper actions should be going forward. This is where you earn your stripes as a leader and what you do in your moment of anger will be make you or break you.

It was said that when Abraham Lincoln had to write a letter to someone who had irritated him, he would often write two letters. The first letter was deliberately insulting. Then, having gotten those feelings out of his system, he would tear it up and write a second letter, this one tactful and discreet. Perhaps, like Lincoln, you need to sit down and write two letters, but never act out in anger in a way that is unbecoming to your leadership.

Anger is your catalyst for improvement

As already stated, anger is neither good nor bad, what’s critical is your response. If you channel the energy produced by anger in the right direction it can produce positive results that can be helpful. Perhaps you are angry over quarterly earnings that did not meet expectations. Channel that energy in a way that challenges your team to find new approaches or ways to improve. When you tap into that energy in a positive way it can be just the spark you need to turn things around.

Anger is your responsibility to confront

As a leader you carry a weight and responsibility that most know nothing about. All the pressures you bear have a way of adding up and weighing you down. Despite all the illusions of grandeur, leadership can be tough and can take a toll.

It is important that you take ownership of your issues with anger. Key areas that will make a world of difference (not an exhaustive list) in your leadership and keeping your anger under control is when you learn how to manage your time, learn how to delegate, take time to get away and recharge, set realistic expectations, pay attention to your diet and exercise, make yourself accountable to others, and your spiritual discipline.

Anger, like your attitude, is an emotion to be managed and channeled in the right direction. Either you will shape your anger or your anger will shape you.

 

© 2016 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

 

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Leadership Minute: Channeling Your Anger

anger

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned. – Buddha

You’d be hard pressed to find a leader who hasn’t been angry or doesn’t get angry at some time or another. It’s part of the human emotion and therefore is something you will deal with. It’s not that you won’t get angry; it’s more about what you will do when you are. Anger, like any emotion, can be positive if channeled the right way. How you direct your anger is important. Are you in control of it? Vented the wrong way it can be mean, hurtful, and counterproductive. When you are in control of your anger you can direct that energy and those passions in a way that motivates and raises expectations. Don’t ever let anger get the best of you. Even when angry you can be in control, you can channel it the right way, and you’ll never have to worry about apologizing for doing something dumb when you were.

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Anger: Taming the Savage Beast

anger

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured. – Mark Twain

A story is told of Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, who was angered by an army officer who accused him of favoritism. Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write the officer a letter. Stanton did, and showed the strongly worded letter to the president.

“What are you going to do with it?” Lincoln inquired. Surprised, Stanton replied, “Send it.” Lincoln shook his head. “Put it on the stove. That’s what I do when I have written a letter while I am angry. It’s a good letter and you had a good time writing it and feel better. Now burn it, and write another.”

Anger is one of those emotions that if not dealt with can cause many problems for leaders. What’s more important is for your team to know how to deal with the anger of your customers. This was the topic of a recent Open Forum column (http://amex.co/11qWxK4) by Rieva Lesonsky. In the column Lesonsky cited a Futures Company survey that was conducted last year that revealed more consumers are in a state of generalized rage – not necessarily about customer service, but about most things in general.

The general state of mind of most consumers’ worldwide highlights a growing challenge for business leaders, and having an intuitive staff that can handle the growing tensions is imperative. The survey highlighted three primary sources for this heightened consumer anger: stress, suspicion, and anti-business attitudes. Any one of these ingredients is cause for concern but when combined as part of a growing consumer trend it is important not to ignore it.

Stemming the sentiments of consumer anger will require a proactive approach. While space restricts me from presenting an exhaustive approach for dealing with the consumer anger issue I will offer starting points that can position you to address it. Here are three steps to begin with that can help you tame the savage beast of anger.

Create awareness. Internal awareness is the first step toward addressing consumer anger. Is your company or organization paying attention to the warning signs of consumer anger? How consumer anger is manifested towards your business should be on your radar. If you are not aware of how it affects you, your competitors, or your suppliers it can have potentially negative consequences.

Creating awareness within your organization is crucial to its health and vitality. Make sure your frontline staff is sensitive and proactive in how they represent your company and the image they are putting forth. Being aware of potential conflicts can prepare you to surprise your customer with a greater than expected experience. You win your customer over tomorrow by preparing your staff today.

Build relationships. Externally, the success of your business is grounded in relationships. Mark Sanborn nailed it when said, “Customers don’t have relationships with organizations; they form relationships with individuals.” How do you see your customers? If you merely look upon them as transactions you are missing the point and always will. The key to dispelling the consumer anger sentiment is to make it personal which begins by building relationships.

Value is created where value is given priority. The reason consumers feel suspicious is due to their belief that businesses are ready to cheat customers whenever they can get away with it.  Dispelling the anger is found in building trust. That can only happen in relationship. Loyalty to the business is not always an economic decision it is one of relationship.

Deliver service with excellence.  Taming the savage beast of anger is an internal work (creating awareness) and it’s an external work (building relationships), which can now be solidified with how you deliver your product. When excellence is the standard by which your company or organization operates then it will be reflected at every level of the consumer experience.

The blueprint of your success in taming the savage beast of anger begins with leadership. Your capacity as a leader to recognize the need is the beginning of solving it.  Creating a culture of awareness is essential to your teams’ ability to recognize consumer anger and defuse it. And everyone delivers with excellence at every phase of the consumer experience it will keep them coming back for more.

Are you taming the savage beast?

 

© 2013 Doug Dickerson

 

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Getting a Grip on Anger

For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness – Ralph Waldo Emerson

A story is told of Abraham Lincoln’s secretary of war, Edwin Stanton, and how he was angered by an army officer who accused him of favoritism. Stanton complained to Lincoln, who suggested that Stanton write the officer a sharp letter.

Stanton did, and showed the strongly worded missive to the president. “What are you going to do with it?” Lincoln inquired. Surprised, Stanton replied, “Send it.” Lincoln shook his head, “You don’t want to send that letter,” he said, “Put it in the stove. That’s what I do when I have written a letter while I am angry. It’s a good letter and you had a good time writing it and feel better. Now burn it, and write another.”

Do you know the causes of anger at your place of business? Research by Bensimon showed that most employees were annoyed at least 10 times daily. While the frequency and causes may vary, a survey from Monster reveals the Top Ten causes of anger at work: bad management, unjust treatment, lack of career opportunity, not being appreciated, excess workload, computer irritations, dishonest colleagues, incompetence or subordinates, interpersonal incivility, and asserting power. Any of these resonate with you?

Tipping points for anger vary from person to person, but the effects can be costly if you do not learn how to control it. A WebMD study reveals that personality types and the ability to control anger may have an effect of heart health and one’s risk for stroke. In addition the study said, “People considered the least agreeable and the most antagonistic had a 40% increased risk for arterial wall thickening. This is similar to the risk imparted by having metabolic syndrome, a known potent contributor to heart disease.”

While there may be a Top Ten list of things that anger us at work, none of them are worth the serious health risks caused by stress and anger. So what is a leader to do and how can you get a grip on anger? Here are four tips to help you keep it all in perspective.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. In his highly acclaimed book, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff, Richard Carlson sensibly points out, “Often we allow ourselves to get all worked up about things that, upon further examination aren’t really that big a deal. We focus on little problems and concerns and blow them out of proportion. So many people spend so much of their life energy sweating the small stuff” that they completely lose touch with the magic and beauty of life.”  The next time you are tempted to look at how bad things are try counting your blessings instead.

Learn to laugh. It’s been said that laughter is the best medicine. And while not every issue that makes you angry is a laughing matter, perhaps those issues wouldn’t make you so angry if you simply learn to laugh.

In his book, Rules of Thumb, Alan M. Webber says, “We all want to work for people who take their work seriously-and themselves not so much. Work is hard. Life is short. Shouldn’t we all rejoice at the seriousness of our work, and laugh at the foolishness that surrounds us?” That’s great advice. If you simply learned to laugh at what surrounds you instead of being angry it would completely change your outlook. It will also be good for your heart.

Practice gratitude. Be it stress, fatigue, work or personal issues, or a variation of them all; anger can cause you to miss the good that surrounds you. Norman Vincent Peale says, “One of the great principles of life is that of thanksgiving. Not only is giving thanks a recognition of past benefits, it is the activator of blessings yet to come. If in your life there is a paucity of blessings, it just might be that your tendency to thankfulness has grown weak and inactive.” What are you thankful for?

Be proactive. While I have given a few suggestions, there are plenty more good resources available to help you if this is a major issue for you. Additionally; taking breaks, getting proper exercise and rest, among others, will lead to a more positive approach to confronting your anger.

Leadership is hard and stressful at times. And it is only natural that on occasion anger can get the best of us. But if left unbridled it can cause long term problems. Get a grip on anger and reclaim the joy and challenges that each day brings.

© 2012 Doug Dickerson

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