From time to time, I plan to bring you excerpts from various leadership podcasts that I listen to on a regular basis as a part of my own personal growth and development plan. Your growth and development as a leader doesn’t happen by accident. Neither does mine. It must be intentional. In my desire to add value to you, I plan to bring you these short excerpts from time to time to give your leadership a boost.
This week I am bringing you an excerpt from The John Maxwell Leadership Podcast. These notes come from the episode entitled: Growth and Gratitude Part 1: (Everything in the quotation box is from John Maxwell)
How To Make Your Contribution Larger Than Your Reward
Adopt a no entitlement attitude
You believe that you have to make some kind of a valuable contribution to others before you deserve any reward.
You have only one thing to focus on every morning – how can I add value to other people today?
Your job is not to worry about what you’re going to reap, your job is worry about what you’re going to sow.
Be the first to help.
Zig Ziglar said, “You can get everything in life that you want if you will just help other people get what they want”.
Being the first to help is very special. My success is determined by the seeds I sow, not the harvest I reap.
How do you plan to make your contribution larger than your reward?
The most fruitful and natural exercise for our minds is, in my opinion, conversation. – Michel de Montaigne, The Essay: A Selection
As I was being escorted to a table in a restaurant not long ago, I passed by a family seated at a long table. There must have been five or six gathered around. What struck me as I passed by was not that they were all together or that they were laughing and talking and otherwise engaged with one another. Sadly, it was an all too familiar sight.
Every person at the table had their smartphone device in their hand and was using it. No conversations were taking place. It was just a group of people sitting together, but very far removed from one another.
According to Google, a survey by Pew Research Center revealed that many people find phone usage during dinner obnoxious. Of those people surveyed, 88 percent think it is okay to use a phone during dinner and 82 percent thinks that using a phone in social settings can hurt conversations.
I realize that we are addicted to our devices. I am clear-eyed in my understanding that it’s just a part of the fabric of our culture for better or worse.
Be it because of our electronic devices or any other distractions that come along, we are increasingly losing the art of meaningful conversation. It takes a toll on relationships, and yes, it can take a toll on your leadership if you are not careful.
Writing in his book, Didn’t See It Coming, bestselling author, Carey Nieuwhof devotes a chapter as to why so many us feel alone and to the demise of genuine conversation. He writes about what many have come to know. He writes:
“Sadly, conversations seem to be developing into an exchange of monologues among people who don’t seem terribly interested in one another. People today appear to be talking at one another more than they’re talking with one another. Next time you’re in a conversation with someone, wait to see how often you get asked a question.”
What about you? What’s been your experience with this issue?
From a leadership point of view, I believe having meaningful conversations is one of the key ingredients to developing effective leadership skills. Here’s why I think it so important and why we must return to them.
Meaningful conversations put you squarely in the moment
Meaningful conversations teach you to slow down and listen
Leaders are busy people. Too busy at times. But when you engage in meaningful conversation it’s sharpening this all-important leadership skill. Too often our thoughts are elsewhere and we are not really tuned in when talking with our people. Meaningful conversations are not rushed. They’re thoughtful. It may try your patience or seem inconsequential to you, but it can make all the difference to the one you are conversing with. Slow down and listen.
Meaningful conversations enhance trust
Nothing can build trust like meaningful conversations. They accomplish more than the tech devices that supposedly making communicating easier. Trust is the glue that binds your organization together and gives your leadership the credibility its due. Don’t allow your busy schedule or other demands rob you of this most essential leadership ingredient. Initiate meaningful conversations. Have meaningful conversations. Build trust.
Meaningful conversations are all about relationships
There are no shortcuts on the extra mile – Zig Ziglar
Bob Kuechenberg, the former Miami Dolphins great, once explained what motivated him to go to college. “My father and uncle were human cannonballs in carnivals. My father told me, “go to college or be a cannonball.” Then one day my uncle came out of the cannon, missed the net and hit the Ferris wheel, I decided to go to college.”
The way you tap into your motivation as a leader may not be as drastic for you as it was for Bob Kuechenberg, but tapping into it is necessary nonetheless. Going the extra mile as a leader is what will set you apart from the rest of the pack and will take you farther than you could have without it.
So what traits do “extra mile” leaders possess? Here is a sampling of a few that I believe are essential. It’s not an exhaustive list but is a good place to start.
Extra mile leaders by and large are selfless in that their motivation and their proactive ways are done with the intent of benefitting the team. Yes, there can be exceptions when what motivates an individual is selfish in nature. But by and large, extra mile leaders have a broad understanding of the mission and vision of the organization and their extra mile sacrifices are for the benefit of the group. Of course, it pays dividends in the long run as all hard work and effort do, but it’s not the prime motivation. Extra mile leaders put their colleagues first.
Extra mile leaders have an attitude of excellence
Extra mile leaders are not satisfied with the status quo nor do they settle for what is merely acceptable. Extra mile leaders have a compelling desire to be the best personally and professionally. At times it can be misinterpreted by those without the extra mile mentality as self-serving, grand-standing, or posturing, etc. but at their core, the extra mile leader cares deeply and truly wants to advance the team in the right direction.
Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, “There is nothing with which every man is so afraid as getting to know how enormously much he is capable of doing and becoming.”
What you are capable of becoming as an extra mile leader is realized when you worry less about what you do and care more for the life you have to live and the ways in which you can serve others. When you do, the results will speak for itself.
Life’s battles don’t always go To the stronger or faster man, But soon or late the man who wins Is the one who thinks he can. –From, The Man Who Thinks He Can, by Walter D. Wintle
The Greeks had a race in their Olympic games that was unique. The winner was not the runner who finished first. It was the runner who finished with his torch still lit.
As we move down the stretch toward the end of 2018 now might be a good time to think about how you are finishing the year. As it was with the Greeks, it’s the one who finishes the race with his torch still lit that wins.
At this juncture in the year, you may be tired and weary. You may be more than ready to turn the page and welcome a clean slate that awaits you in 2019. With the finish line of another year in sight let’s consider the traits of leaders who finish strong. It’s a simple list and is certainly not an exhaustive one. You may want to add to it. These are my top three.
Leaders who finish strong have clarity of purpose One of the traits of leaders who finish strong is those who live their life intentionally with purpose. Each day is seen as a gift and an opportunity to add value to those around them and make a difference in their world.
Leaders who finish strong have a resilient attitude I’ve yet to meet a leader who doesn’t face his or her fair share of problems and adversity. It comes with the territory. Maybe more so. But the leader who finishes strong is not the one who was exempt from adversity but the one who endured it.
Leaders who finish strong have tapped into their work-life balance “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” so says the old proverb. Leaders who finish strong are those who understand the importance of a sound work-life balance. These leaders know and understand the value of hard work and give it their all day in and day out. They roll up their sleeves and are willing to go the extra mile to get the job done.
But finishing strong requires balance. And if as a leader you are burning the candle at both ends with no balance in your life as it pertains to rest and recreation soon you will be of little value to anyone.
Leaders who finish strong are able to do so because they have found the balance they need. Make sure that you give your mind and body the rest it needs and deserves. Remember, it was not about finishing the race first for the Greeks that mattered, it was finishing with your torch still lit. If you cross the finish line of 2018 burned out and spent how will you begin 2019?
We all live under the same sky but we don’t all have the same horizon. – Konrad Adenauer
In, A Savior For All Seasons, William Barker shares the story of a bishop back in the early twentieth century who had an exchange with a college president about all of the discoveries that had been made up that point in time.
The bishop conveyed that he thought everything in nature and everything in inventions had been discovered.
The college president took exception to this and told his guest that he was certain that within fifty years men would be able to fly. “Nonsense!” replied the bishop. “Only angels are intended to fly.”
The bishop’s name was Milton Wright. He had two boys at home- Orville and Wilbur-who one day would prove him wrong.
As a leader, it is imperative that you know the causes of limited thinking and how it impacts you as a leader. As the above story reveals, we can all live under the same sky, but we can have different horizons. But why? Here are three common reasons.
Your mindset has as much to do with your dreams as anything else. If all you entertain is negative talk and negative beliefs, all you will experience is negative outcomes. If your mindset is wrong, don’t expect the outcomes to be right. It just won’t happen.
Big sky thinking ought to be a reflection of big size dreams. What does that look like? Here are three for your consideration.
Big sky thinking is seeing what others don’t see
When Walt Disney’s wife was being introduced to speak at the dedication of Disney World, the emcee turned and said to her, “I wish he could have seen this”. To which she replied, “He did”. What do you see that others don’t?
Big sky thinking is all about removing the limitations you have placed on yourself and those you’ve allowed to be transferred upon you. Dare to see beyond what others don’t or can’t.
Big sky thinking is refusing to settle for what’s easy
Big sky thinking is all about believing in yourself
Joel Osteen said, “If you’re alive and breathing, you can still become everything God has created you to be.” Until you believe that, big sky thinking will always be out of your reach. Dare to believe in yourself and dare to believe that you are here for a greater purpose.
When you embrace big sky thinking you are creating a shift from limited thinking and limited possibilities and unlocking a whole new world of possibilities. What are you waiting for?
I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work. – Thomas A. Edison
In most all leadership circles we hear much about winning and success. I’m not knocking it. We all like to win.
But in leadership, as in life, not every endeavor we undertake results in a win. Sometimes we lose. We don’t need books and webinars on how to win. That comes easy for most. Losing, on the other hand, is another story.
As a sports enthusiasts and player back in the day, we all heard the saying, “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game.” That’s all good and well if you win but can ring hollow when you lose.
In leadership, losing and failure takes on a whole new meaning. We tend to tie our value to our successes and see failure as unacceptable (not that it ever should be), and not as a part of our overall success journey. We forget the big picture.
In his acclaimed book, Failing Forward, John Maxwell states, “One of the greatest problems people have with failure is that they are too quick to judge isolated situations in their lives and label them as failures. Instead, they need to keep the bigger picture in mind.” Your approach and attitude toward losing are critical to your leadership.
Here are three ways as a leader you can model losing. Weigh them carefully, one day you will need this.
You model losing with your humility
At the end of the day, nothing is more humbling as a loss. Losing has a way of keeping you humble and grounded as a leader. Not that you always want to end up on the losing end of things, but it is an indication that the journey to success is also littered with failures along the way.
Losing is a not so subtle way of learning that you don’t know it all and remaining humble is important. At times, the best thing that can happen to you is to experience a loss. A loss is a great teacher.
You model losing with your integrity
In the event of losing, be sure not to lose your integrity. Be humble and gracious. Don’t blame others for your loss and be sure to accept responsibility. Losing shows that you have skin in the game and that you were willing to take some risks.
Thomas Edison’s attitude towards failure is a great example of resolve. He experienced setbacks (a fire destroyed his lab) and suffered numerous hardships. He is remembered not for his defeatist attitude but for having a positive one. Thirty days after that fire destroyed his lab he put forth the first phonograph.
When you are an example of a leader who knows how to lose, you will be a leader who knows how to win, and one worth following. Stay humble, keep your integrity in check, and never lose your resolve.
Coming together is a beginning. Keeping together is progress. Working together is success. – Henry Ford
It’s been said that bees can show you something about teamwork. On a warm day about half the bees in a hive stay inside beating their wings while the other half go out to gather pollen and nectar. Because of the beating wings, the temperature inside the hive is about 10 degrees cooler than outside. The bees rotate duties and the bees that cool the hive one day are honey gatherers the next.
Who knew that the bee could teach us about the power and function of teams.
Pardon the pun, but there’s been a lot of buzz in recent years about teams and teamwork and rightfully so. Anyone can throw a group of people together and call it a team. But is it, really?
Until the following four characteristics emerge within that group of individuals they will simply remain a group of people struggling for identity, struggling to make sense of what they are doing, where they are going, and what they are accomplishing. Here are the four things we must learn from the bees.
Trust
It stands to reason that if a group people can emerge and gel as a team it will be predicated on trust
The bees trust one another to carry out their duties. Whether those duties are in the hive beating their wings or out gathering pollen and nectar. They depend on each other to get the job done.
One recent survey I read said that 45% of employees say that a lack of trust in leadership is the biggest issue impacting their work performance. So until the issue of trust is settled then those in leadership will continue to struggle. And sadly, so will the team and its ability to perform.
Empathy
Due to the revolving nature of the bees’ duties, they have an understanding of what it takes to get the job done each day. Each knows and understands what the other is going through.
Bees depend on each other to cool the hive and gather food. If they fail to do their job, someone might just get stung!
In his book, The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Patrick Lencioni says, “Great teams do not hold back with one another. They are unafraid to air their dirty laundry. They admit their mistakes, their weaknesses, and their concerns without fear of reprisal.” And this is the secret sauce of how teams work. They hold each other accountable.
When you come together possessing these qualities you can move from being a group of people that look like a team to actually being one. If the bees can do so can you!
Coming in January 2019 – A brand new four-session workshop I facilitate with the purpose of bringing your team together, having intentional conversations in order to clarify values and get your team members off the sidelines. Watch for more details in the coming weeks!
If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s about to get. – Frank A. Clark
A story is told of two men who were walking through a field one day when they spotted an enraged bull. Instantly they darted toward the nearest fence. The storming bull followed in hot pursuit, and it was soon apparent they wouldn’t make it.
Terrified, the one shouted to the other, “Put up a prayer, John. We’re in for it!”
John answered, “I can’t. I’ve never made a public prayer in my life.”
“But you must!” implored his companion. “The bull is catching up to us.”
“All right,” panted John, “I’ll say the only prayer I know, the one my father used to repeat at the table: ‘O Lord, for what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'”
With all of the pressures and demands that are placed on leaders today, it’s as important as ever to stop and give thanks. In this season as we prepare to do just that, let’s examine why it’s important to you as a leader to give thanks.
It puts the past in perspective Every leader has a story to tell regarding his or her journey. You’ve had up’s and down’s, struggles, and sacrifices along the way. There were times you probably thought about throwing in the towel. But here you are. No, you haven’t “arrived” yet, but you are in a good place and in comparison to where you were, you are very blessed.
It gives the present a purpose When you develop a thankful heart as a leader it helps give purpose to your present. If you are holding on to a hurt, or bitterness from your past, you won’t be effective as a leader today. Let it go. You are right where you are for a reason. Your past experiences, good and bad, have prepared you for this time and place in your leadership journey. Click To Tweet You may not be where you want to be, but then again, you are not where you once were either.
It’s as you understand your purpose and put it into context you can excel in your leadership skills. As you carry within you a thankful heart and serve with humility you can set the course for a bright future.
Your future is wide open and is predicated on being thankful for all the blessings you now enjoy. As you ponder these and other blessings during this time of the year, do so with a renewed commitment to not neglect this important area of your leadership. What are you thankful for?
Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it is thinking of yourself less. – C.S. Lewis
Pride and arrogance. It’s been the Achilles-heel for leaders it seems for as long as anyone can remember. There’s a fine line and big difference between a leader who instills pride among his or her people and in doing so lifts morale across the board throughout the organization.
But then there’s the leader who is simply arrogant and prideful in that they are haughty, think they know it all, look down on others, ignores input, is condescending, and are basically just jerks. Chances are, you already have a visual image of this person in mind, don’t you?
Yet one of the most endearing qualities of leadership is found in the person who genuinely walks in humility.
But what sets this leader apart? How can you spot them? What are their characteristics? Here are four that are obvious.
They ask a lot of questions
Humble leaders are not afraid to ask questions. It’s a leadership hack that is lost on many aspiring leaders due to pride. The proud and arrogant leader had rather make you think they know it all by not asking a question. The humble leader had rather ask questions and be sure of it.
In his book, Good Leaders Ask Great Questions, John Maxwell writes, “Any leader who asks the right questions of the right people has the potential to discover and develop great ideas”. And this is true of you.
In an age when so many are only looking out for themselves, the humble leader knows how to put others first.
Putting others first is all about putting the needs of the team ahead of your own. It’s not just about making decisions within your organization that best fits your needs, but is about empowering all people across the board. The humble leader is willing to make sacrifices others won’t. It’s done out of service and duty to a cause, purpose, and mission greater than self.
They bring people together
This characteristic of a humble leader is worth highlighting because this leader understands that they alone are not the source of all knowledge.
The one with the title talks- a lot. The humble leader is prone to speaking less and listening more.
Stephen Covey said, “It takes humility to seek feedback. It takes wisdom to understand it, analyze it and appropriately act on it.” And this is what humble leaders desire to do. Humble leaders are like sponges- learning all they can.
Humble leaders are like a breath of fresh air. They are confident in who they are, what they know, and the skills they have. But they are not so arrogant that they are afraid to ask questions, put others first, bring people together, and speak less (or as Simon Sinek suggests – speak last) and listen more. In this day and time, we could use some humble leaders.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love – I Corinthians 13:13 (ESV)
Without question, we live in tumultuous times. The news headlines we see today are enough to discourage anyone as we see what is happening in our society.
