admin – Page 15 – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Leadership In The Era of The Partisan Divide

Posted September 23, 2020
by admin

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies. – Groucho Marx

An elderly gentleman was sitting on a park bench, basking in the sun when another elderly man sat down next to him. They looked at each other for a moment but did not speak. Both men sat there, staring straight ahead.

After a while, one of them heaved a big, heartfelt sigh.

The other jumped up immediately and said, “If you’re going to talk politics, I’m leaving.”

Leadership in the best of times can be difficult. John Maxwell eloquently put it this way, “Sometimes, leadershi[p sucks.” Can you relate?

Being a leader during an election cycle such as we are in now has the potential to create a toxic environment in your workplace. Chances are, you have already experienced it on some level. And while people can be very passionate about their views, how you tread these waters as a leader can be tricky. Side with group A and you alienate those in group B. Side with group B and you alienate those in group A – and back and forth it goes.

Here’s the reality – everyone has a set of political beliefs that they subscribe to and regardless of those beliefs, everyone’s views ought to be respected. No one’s morals should be called into question regardless of who they support or oppose and no one should be punished because of it.

As a leader, how you position yourself among your people during this time is important. Some leaders within their organizations opt to stay out of it. Others jump right in. But in the context of the effects on your culture and relationships, what’s a good approach? Here are a few tips.

Foster a culture of acceptance

How you model acceptance is important. Our diversity is our greatest asset. We are better for it. There ought to be room for differing views without fear of repercussion. Click To Tweet As for your workplace culture, acceptance fosters relationships that lift and unites, never tearing down. It’s not unreasonable to expect that people with differing political views can work together for the good of the organization.

Promote meaningful dialogue

So long as we are shouting over one another, the partisan divide will always exist. Meaningful dialogue with an emphasis on asking questions and listening will go a long way in building bridges rather than tearing them down. Your workplace culture ought not to be a place where your people dread going during this election season. It ought to be a place for meaningful conversations. Click To Tweet

Always protect your culture

While it may be wishful thinking that all conversations are meaningful between your people and everyone is accepting of the views of their colleagues – all it takes is one, two, or more to upend your culture and wreak havoc in your workplace. These people can be toxic to your culture and the consequences can be detrimental. Above all else, you must protect your culture.

Final Thoughts

While it’s important that we accept the views of others and that we aim for meaningful conversations, we must also bear in mind that not everyone cares to participate in these exchanges in your workplace. Believe it or not, there are those who are just as passionate about their politics as you, just not as vocal. They just choose not to constantly talk about it or post their opinions all over social media. That has to be respected as well.

Leading in the era of the partisan divides doesn’t have to be destructive, but it will take strong leadership to pull it off.

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Talking Up Feedback

Posted September 16, 2020
by admin

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. – George Bernard Shaw

A story is told of a man who dialed a wrong number by mistake and got the following recording, “I am not available right now, but I thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes.” Talk about your not so subtle message.

Employee engagement and the manner in which you communicate as a leader is essential to the success of your organization. It matters now more than ever especially during this time of remote work that so many are still participating in.

One of the barriers to good communication and employee retention is found in the ability of your people to not only receive good feedback but also in their ability to give it. Click To TweetThis was pointed out recently in a TinyPulse article regarding employee retention.

In the article, it was brought out that employees that don’t feel comfortable in giving upward feedback are 16% less likely to stay at their companies. It went on to say that while 60% of employees have a way to provide feedback about their employee experience, only 30% said that their feedback is acted upon. And this is where change can and should occur.

As a leader, you know how important your workplace culture is to your overall success. You also know that the way in which you provide feedback to your people is equally important. But feedback is only as effective as each person’s ability to receive it and give it.

What is the ultimate benefit to the health of your organization if the only feedback given is top-down? What purpose does this serve and in what realistic way do you think you benefit as a leader if your people do not have a regular means of talking to you?

Here are four simple tips to consider for the benefit of everyone as you think about employee engagement and employee retention.

Be intentional

You must make it known that you are always available to talk with anyone who wants that opportunity. But you need to do more than just provide lip service. Give specific times and days when you make yourself available for conversations and not just ask for feedback in writing. Many things get lost in translation. Have an open-door policy and make it known.

Be receptive

If you really want the feedback to mean something, be receptive to what you hear. Listen with an open mind and try not to be defensive. Listen to what your people have to say with the understanding that this is likely not easy for them. But when the conversation is over your people need to leave with the confidence that they were heard and respected.

Be responsive

The worst thing that can happen is for one of your people to come and give feedback and feel that they have been dismissed or not taken seriously. Be responsive to their feedback and listen with an open mind. Typically, those closest to the problem or concern have the greatest sense of clarity regarding the issue. Click To Tweet Listen respectfully and respond accordingly.

Be appreciative

As mentioned already, giving upward feedback may not be the most comfortable thing your people do so don’t make it any harder for them. Be appreciative of the fact that your people are invested enough to come to you. It means that they care.

Final Thoughts

Just as loyalty is a two-way street, so too is feedback. And while not every idea or concern is something that you can address or satisfy to their liking, you can set a positive tone in your organization by being a leader who listens.

Employee engagement and retention is up to you. If your people do not believe that they are being taken seriously or are valued then they will find a place where they are.

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How To Be A Good Follower

Posted September 10, 2020October 15, 2020
by admin

The most difficult instrument to play in the orchestra is second fiddle – Leonard Bernstein

I read a story once of a young woman who wanted to go to college, but her heart sank when she read the question that asked, “Are you a good leader?” Being both honest and conscientious, she wrote, “No,” and returned the application expecting the worst.

To her surprise, she received this letter from the college: “Dear Applicant: A study of the application reveals that this year our college will have 1,42 new leaders. We are accepting you because we feel it imperative that they have at least one follower.”

I suppose being a follower runs counterintuitive to being a good leader. But I submit that good followership is good leadership. They are not mutually exclusive.

So what does good followership look like and why is it important? In his book, Creative Followership, Jimmy Collins says, “If you’re not selling chicken, you better be supporting someone who is.” Understanding the value of good followership can add tremendous value to any organization. Here are three ways how.

Followership drives the vision

Simply put, good followership; the buy-in if you will, is the fuel that drives the mission and vision of your organization. Taken in its proper context, followership is not abdicating your position within your organizational structure. If anything, it’s empowering it Click To Tweet. Rather than relying on a title to move you forward off the backs of those around you, being a good follower is getting behind the best ideas- regardless of the source – and everyone working toward shared goals.

When the vision is clear and buy-in has taken place, then somehow positional leadership loses its appeal. Rather than turf wars and politics being your driving force, you can purposefully pursue your vision and where you are in the pecking order becomes secondary.

The leader who knows how to follow will outlast the leader who only wants to lead the parade.

Followership builds teamwork

A team is only as strong as the collective effort of its team members. So long as everyone on the team only wants to be the captain and call the plays, you will never make the advancements you desire to achieve. Babe Ruth summed it up nicely when he said, “The way a team plays as a whole determines its success. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world, but if they don’t play together, the team won’t be worth a dime.” And this is the essence of teamwork.

The myth that needs to be dispelled here is that you never lead when you are a follower. Within your organization, there will be times when your role is that of being a good follower. Other times, you’ll be the point person on a certain project. The point being, you are not just a follower, or just a manager or supervisor. When you work as a team you play to your strengths and everyone adapts to seize the momentum you need at the moment.

Being a good follower on your team is allowing everyone to play to their strengths and everyone doing whatever it takes for the win. Knowing how to follow makes the difference.

Followership builds the future

The success of your organization relies upon leaders being able to embrace being a good follower. You will never rise above your ability to serve. If serving and following is beneath you then leadership is beyond you. Your future as a leader and the future of your organization rests upon people being comfortable in their own skin and embracing roles that don’t necessarily embody their title or rank. Click To Tweet

When you learn to set aside your own agenda for the good of the team and embrace a followership attitude, you will build a future that you can be proud of, but you have to set aside your pride to make that happen.

Final Thoughts

How about you? Are you a good follower? What issues do you need to work on in order to be a good follower? In a world where everyone competes to be the leader “in charge”, how refreshing it would be to look around and find more followers.

Suggested Reading:

Creative Followership – In The Shadow of Greatness by Jimmy Collins

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When Adversity Comes – Keep Climbing!

Posted September 2, 2020October 15, 2020
by admin

Show me someone who has done something worthwhile, and I’ll show you someone who has overcome adversity. – Lou Holtz

In May of 2001, Erik Weihenmeyer accomplished something that only about 150 people per year do – reach the top of Mt. Everest. The thing that made Erik’s achievement unusual is that he is the first blind person to succeed at scaling the tallest mountain in the world. Erik was born with a disease called retinoschisis, and by the time he was thirteen, he was completely blind. Rather than focus on what he could not do, he made the choice to focus on what he could do and went much further than almost anyone expected.

It’s been said that adversity introduces a man to himself. And while most don’t go looking for adversity, life happens. And whether we like it or not, we all face our share of adversity.

Without question, 2020 thus far has been like no other year any of us have ever lived through. Perhaps some of you are like me, you keep thinking it’s just one bad dream we will wake up from and it will all be over with. Can you relate?

As a leader, you will face your share of adversity if you hang around long enough. Some of it will come in ways and from places you didn’t see coming, some of it will come from the least likely person you know, and at times it will be self-inflicted. Regardless of the source – how you deal with it as a leader will make all the difference.

When adversity comes – here are a few simple reminders to hold onto.

Adversity doesn’t discriminate

As a leader, don’t take adversity personally. Adversity comes to all of us. But know this – the size of your dream often will determine the level of adversity. The greater the dream and the loftier your goals, the more challenges you will face Click To Tweet. So when your adversity comes, keep climbing!

Adversity doesn’t define you

Having adversity does not define you as a leader, but how you respond to it will. You can’t always choose the battles you will face, but you choose how you will fight them. Adversity does not have to define you in a negative way, but how you deal with it will reflect on your leadership. Click To TweetThe best thing to do when facing it is to keep climbing!

Adversity is a great teacher

If you allow it, adversity can be your teacher on your leadership journey. Every trial, setback, or failure will introduce you to yourself. If you are smart, you will learn your lessons and apply them to the next challenge. You may not like the process, but what we gain from those experiences can be valuable. When adversity comes consider class in session and don’t give up. Keep climbing!

Final Thoughts

One thing I’ve learned over the years is how adversities change. The personal struggles and adversities I overcame 30 years ago, by and large, are not the ones I battle with today. As you grow as a leader, the adversities you deal with will reflect that season in your life. As you grow and mature as a leader, your adversities will change with you. What you once considered a great challenge or adversity ten years ago, will look much different today as will how you deal with it.

The takeaway from this leadership lesson is to never stop climbing. You will come through this season of adversity if you never give up.

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Maintaining Culture Remotely

Posted August 29, 2020October 15, 2020
by admin

We now accept the fact that learning is a lifelong process of keeping abreast of change. – Peter Drucker

When COVID-19 hit, who could have imagined the changes that would come with it? Our way of life on so many levels looks very different today as compared to seven months ago. How are you adjusting?

One of the changes many have experienced is working remotely. This happened to many seemingly overnight as health officials and others scrambled to ensure safe working environments and how to best combat the virus. And just like that, your new office is now your kitchen table or home office. Gone are the familiar trappings and routines of your workspace. Gone are the people interactions you routinely participated in.

In a Stanford News report, we see 42% of the U.S labor force now working from home full-time. Almost twice as many employees are working from home as at work. With numbers like this, it’s as important as ever to be intentional about maintaining a strong workplace culture even among remote workers.

While we acknowledge this new reality, we also must intentionally focus on ways to maintain a vibrant culture and uphold the values of our respective companies even while doing it remotely. With this in mind, here are some questions that we believe are essential as we talk about culture.

Does it really matter?

Our company culture is the driver behind employee behavior. And, it is the behavior of our employees that ultimately determines the success of the organization. Maintaining a strong, positive organizational culture becomes even more important and as employees transition to working remotely. Click To Tweet This transition can be stressful both mentally and emotionally.

We want employees to feel empowered and trusted as they begin working remotely, many for the first time. We need to encourage a sense of camaraderie and ensure that employees do not feel isolated. And, we want to keep in alignment with our company values, even as we work from our own little corners of the world.

Who should be responsible?

There are many factors that play into maintaining company culture while working remotely. Responsibility for these factors falls on each of us. Employees need a point of contract to receive information and to address concerns. Human Resources should serve as the contact that gives employees confidence that they have not been forgotten. Team leaders are ultimately responsible for building and maintaining culture. Leaders must work together to create a cohesive culture company wide. And, employees shoulder some of the responsibility for helping others feel included even though they are no longer working face-to-face.

How do we do it?

In a remote work environment, communication is more important than ever. Leaders must check in with remote workers frequently. It is a good idea to start a weekly rundown, where leaders share updates and employees have the opportunity to share feedback from their experiences. We want to ensure that we are building human connections within the team, even if it is virtually. We want to provide as much consistency for remote employees as possible by honoring traditions in new and innovative ways. We also want to provide them with processes, structures, and tools that are designed to help them succeed in the virtual work environment. Keep recognizing employees and don’t be afraid to try new things.

How do we measure it?

Employee engagement and culture was easier to measure before the pandemic hit and the majority of your workforce was on-site. Daily interactions and camaraderie was on full display for all to see. Issues and concerns that existed could more readily be dealt with and resolved in real time. But with more and more employees working remotely this is a new challenge. Leaders must be more engaged and sensitive to the needs of those they lead. Leaders no longer can afford a passive approach and be satisfied with the way things are so long as the work is being done. Click To TweetLeaders must be proactive and engaged with their people whether down the hall or across town.

Final Thoughts

We strongly believe that your workplace culture can thrive in spite of the challenges of remote working. It’s something that everyone in the organization must take ownership of and be responsible for. We believe it matters and when everyone takes personal ownership of it you organization can thrive.

Elizabeth Stincelli is president of Stincelli Advisors. Read more at https://www.stincelliadvisors.com/

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When Critics Come Calling (Part 2)

Posted August 18, 2020October 19, 2020
by admin

No matter what happens, you’re always going to have those critics and haters. You just have to learn to deal with that. – Tim Tebow

During his last years in office, Winston Churchill attended an official ceremony. Several rows behind him two gentlemen began whispering, “That’s Winston Churchill.” “They say he is getting senile.” “They say he should step aside and leave the running of the nation to more dynamic and capable men.”

When the ceremony was over, Churchill turned to the two men and said, “Gentlemen, they also say he is deaf!”

Criticism is a way of life for the leader. It may not be a pleasant part of it, but it’s a constant companion nonetheless.

Learning how to deal with criticism is important for you as a leader. In part one of “When Critics Come Calling”, I shared three common reactions we have when critics come calling:

We take it personally
We retaliate
We put up walls

Any of those sound familiar?

While it’s just in our human nature to take on any or all of these postures, we also have to understand the unintended consequences when we do. While we don’t typically like criticism, we can cut ourselves off from voices around us that can help us if we are willing to listen.

So when critics come calling, why not take these questions into consideration.

What’s true about the criticism?

Not all criticism from your critics is meant to be harmful. And while your feelings or ego might be bruised, perhaps some introspection is in order. When you hear from your critics, stop and consider what parts have merit. From there you can determine if it’s just a case of sour grapes on their part, or if it’s something you work on to make better.

In the long run, your critic may be doing you a favor by pointing out a blind spot you didn’t see. Click To TweetOn the other hand, your critic may just be blowing off steam and it has no merit. But before dismissing it out of hand, as yourself if it’s true.

What’s the motive behind the criticism?

When hearing from your critics – directly or indirectly- you have to take into consideration the motivation behind it. Does the person have an ax to grind with you? Is there politics at play? Understanding the motivation behind the criticism will enable you to better know how to handle it.

A word of encouragement to you as a leader here – don’t look for ulterior motives that don’t exist. Don’t let your imagination run wild. Be more concerned as to why a person with a legitimate issue was not comfortable in approaching you to begin with.

What can I learn from criticism?

When the critics come calling is a good time to reflect upon your leadership. Is there any validity to the criticism? Was the criticism helpful? Some of your best growth opportunities will come not when everything is smooth and calm. It will come when you feel everyone is against you. Click To Tweet

Final Thoughts

“The final proof of criticism,” said Elbert Hubbard, “lies in being able to endure criticism without resentment.” And this will always be the test of your leadership. So the next time critics come calling ask yourself is it true? What’s the motive? What can I learn? Above all, keep your attitude in check and keep climbing upward.

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When Critics Come Calling (Part 1)

Posted August 6, 2020
by admin

Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing – Aristotle

In a Peanuts cartoon Linus is curled up in a chair, reading a book, while Lucy stands behind him with a funny look on her face. Lucy then says, “It’s very strange. It happens just by looking at you.”

“What happens?” Linus asks.

Lucy calmly answers, “I can feel a criticism coming on.”

Criticism. It’s the constant companion of leaders. Hang around long enough and you will come to know this truth about leadership. Click To Tweet

“No leader lives a day without criticism,” said J. Oswald Sanders, “and humility will never be more on trial than when criticism comes.”

What about you? What’s been your experience? How have you dealt with criticism?

Let’s look at three common reactions when critics come calling.

We take it personally

Most leaders I know have a deep sense of pride in their work and otherwise like to think of themselves as good leaders. When critics come calling, it’s a normal reaction to take it personally and get defensive.

Another consideration is the source of the critic. While it can be easy to brush it off as petty behavior from a disgruntled colleague, it especially hurts when it comes from someone we once considered close.

While this is a common reaction, it may not always be the most healthy reaction. More about that later.

We retaliate

A sure sign that we have taken the critics too seriously is that we retaliate. We justify ourselves by pointing out the faults of the accuser. How many times have you, or someone you know gone down this road? How did that work out?

The trap here, if you go down this road, is now you have entered into an unhealthy game of comparison. In order to justify your hurt ego, you now have to engage on the level of the critic in an unhealthy way. Now, by your act of retaliation, you have escalated the situation whereby making amends becomes more difficult because you allowed your bruised feelings to get in the way.

While this may make you feel good in the short-term, you have now put up barriers and slowed any chance of reconciliation.

We put up walls

Among these three common reactions, this is perhaps the most destructive to your leadership. And this reaction has nothing to do with your critics. This response is all on you.

To be sure, no one likes it when critics come calling – especially when the critic has less experience or is nothing more than arm-chair quarterback with no skin in the game. I mean, who the heck do they think they are, right?

But when you choose to put up walls – those defensive measures- it is the one action that hurts you more in the long run. When you cut people off you put yourself in danger of hearing only from the people who will tell you what you want to hear - not what you need to hear. Click To Tweet

So what is a leader to do? What should your posture be when your critics come calling? What can you learn from your critics? These questions and more will be answered in When Critics Come Calling (Part 2).

Final Thoughts

As the saying goes, haters are going to hate. But for you in leadership, there’s no room for that. And while dealing with it comes with the territory, you can rise above it, learn from it, and be a better leader because of it.

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Manufacturing Energy

Posted July 29, 2020
by admin

You are responsible for the energy that you create for yourself, and you’re responsible for the energy that you bring to others.” – Oprah Winfrey

Since the onset of the CoronaVirus pandemic and more specifically since March, how have your energy levels been? I have spoken to many people who are feeling overwhelmed, mentally, and emotionally drained, and much more. Sadly, many studies point to a spike in the number of people who are suffering from depression and other related issues.

How are you holding up?

One of the challenges for leaders during this time is in sustaining energy levels within their organizations to meet new demands and challenges they are now facing. Many are trying to keep up with the same workload but now with fewer people due to layoffs, etc.

Adapting to these new challenges and demands often requires more energy than was needed prior to conditions in March. Talk about your stress levels increasing!

I became more aware of the importance of energy levels after reading an article by Carey Nieuwhof in which he made the point about how manufacturing energy is exhausting for everyone. Nieuwhof states, “Everyone’s already tired, and please hear me, I am a huge fan of hard work- throwing your heart into the mission is critical. But there’s a big difference between throwing your heart into the mission and throwing your heart into a method.” And herein lies my point.

How many of you have had to change your methods of operation since March? For many, how you operate today looks a lot different than it did back in January.

While you must preserve the integrity of your mission, you can and should consider your method of delivery. Out of necessity, many of you already have. Your energy levels are driven by your passion for what you do. Nothing can be more demoralizing than seeing your energy levels decline because discouragement set in when what you were so passionate about was taken from you or has been very slow in returning.

Maintaining your energy is as important as ever, but manufactured energy may not be the answer to your current situation. So, what is a leader to do? Here are a few simple tips.

Channel your energy toward what you can control

If we’ve learned anything in 2020 it’s that nothing is for certain. In your business or organization, focus your energy on what you can control today and going forward. Focus on your mission, be flexible with your methods. Don’t burn up energy defending the practices of the past when they are no longer relevant today. Click To TweetWhile it’s true that you can’t control everything that happens to you, what you can control deserves the best form of energy you can give it.

Reserve your energy for the long haul

Whether we like it or not, we are in a marathon, not a 50-yard dash. And since we don’t know how long this marathon will last, it’s important to reserve our energies for the long haul. This will require focus and discipline and a think-long attitude. It’s best to make your necessary adjustments now than regret it later when you are burned out. Manufactured energy is no substitute for the real thing. Click To Tweet

Practice self-care

Just as you need to embrace a think-long attitude, you must also take into account the fact that no one is going to practice self-care for you. That’s on you. So it’s imperative that you take time to rest, refresh, and recharge on a regular basis. This can be something as simple as going for a long walk, a run, swim, or whatever it is that nourishes your mind and soul. And while you’re at it – be mindful of what you eat.

A proper balanced diet and exercise are as important now as ever. If you are tired, rundown, and low on energy you are not at your best and it’s a drag on the rest of your team.

Final Thoughts

My tips barely scratch the surface as it relates to steps you can take to make sure you have harnessed all the energy you need during this time. But it’s a starting place. My hope is that you will see that manufacturing energy is wearisome and in times like this and can be counterproductive to achieving your goals.

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How Indecisive Leaders Hurt Morale

Posted July 8, 2020
by admin

Indecision may or may not be my problem – Jimmy Buffett

A story is told of former president Ronald Reagan once had an aunt who took him to a cobbler for a pair of new shoes. The cobbler asked young Reagan, “Do you want square toes or round toes?” Unable to decide, Reagan didn’t answer, so the cobbler gave him a few days.

Several days later the cobbler saw Reagan on the street and asked him again what kind of toes he wanted on his shoes. Reagan still couldn’t decide, so the shoemaker replied, “Well, come by in a couple of days. Your shoes will be ready.” When the future president did so, he found one square-toed and one round-toed shoe! “This will teach you to never let people make decisions for you,” the cobbler said to his indecisive customer. “I learned right then and there,” Reagan said later, “if you don’t make your own decisions, someone else will.”

Indecisive leadership is a crippling character trait for leaders. When your organization needs clear direction and decisive action, a waffling leader can cause more harm than good.

With so much at stake, why do leaders waffle and struggle with decision making? Three primary reasons come to mind.

They lack clarity

Leaders who struggle with decision making may lack the necessary clarity needed to make the necessary decision. Rather than making the wrong decision, they make no decision at all.

They lack confidence

In some situations, leaders withhold decision making because they are not confident enough in their own instincts. Rather than take a risk and make a decision, they play it safe and everyone is left dangling.

They lack consensus

In some cases, leaders withhold decision making because they don’t have a consensus on the best path forward. Rather than offend a few with a decision, the leader demoralizes everyone by not making one.

So what is a leader to do? How can a leader overcome this agonizing dilemma? Here are a few ideas.

Trust your instincts

A confident leader will trust his or her instincts in times of decision. Deep down you have a strong intuition that guides you. Trust it.

Invite input

Decisive leaders are informed leaders. Those most affected by your decisions should be the first at the table of discussion. As it’s been said, “the person who sweeps the floor should choose the broom”. Welcome input, but make your decisions on principle, not politics.

Clarify your values

The worst thing you can do as a leader is to make a decision for the sake of making one. Roy Disney was right when he said, “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier”. When making a decision make sure it aligns with your values. If not, don’t do it.

Check your motives

First and foremost in your decision making should be what’s best for your organization and people. If you are making decisions to gain popularity or to gain favor with some to the detriment of others you are sowing the seeds of low morale. You must have the best interest of the team at heart and not just a few.

Final Thoughts

Leadership is about making hard decisions. Indecisive leaders make it harder–on themselves and those they lead. Your path forward begins by acknowledging what your indecisive tendencies are doing to your leadership and how it’s impacting the morale of those you lead.

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The Power of Kind Words

Posted July 2, 2020
by admin

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit – – Proverbs 18:21 ESV

I came across this story that I’d like to pass along to you:

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down. It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers.

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. “Really?” she heard whispered. “I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!” and, “I didn’t know others liked me so much,” were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn’t matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last do so.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. “Were you Mark’s math teacher?” he asked. She nodded: “Yes.” Then he said: “Mark talked about you a lot.”

After the funeral, most of Mark’s former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark’s mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

“We want to show you something,” his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket. “They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.”

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded, and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark’s classmates had said about him.

“Thank you so much for doing that,” Mark’s mother said. “As you can see, Mark treasured it.”

All of Mark’s former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, “I still have my list. It’s in the top drawer of my desk at home.”

Chuck’s wife said, “Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.”

“I have mine too,” Marilyn said. “It’s in my diary.”

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet, and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. “I carry this with me at all times,” Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: “I think we all saved our lists.”

That’s when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

Kind words. If there’s ever been a time when we need to speak and hear more kind words, it’s now. It seems that we are hearing less of them these days. Public discourse has a way of turning sour. We seem to be more concerned about being heard, than listening and understanding.

But all that aside, there is a better way. Taking the high road is an option and it’s up to people like me and you to lead the way.

Mother Teresa said, “ Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier”.

Change is never easy and at times the ship turns slow, but it happens one heart and one kind word at a time.

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