How Our Fears Hold Us Back

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Always do what you are afraid to do. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Living near the coast in South Carolina, I love the water. I love to swim. But getting there was anything but a pleasant journey. 

It all started with my swim lessons at the local YMCA when I was a little boy. My mom took me to my lessons each week. They taught me all the basics of how to swim, tread water, etc. But, I still had a lingering fear of the water that was hard to overcome.

The lessons were going well until they weren’t. In order to pass, you had to jump off the diving board into the deep end of the water. Well, let’s just say that I don’t have a certificate from the YMCA certifying that I learned how to swim.

In my late teens, I’m with some friends in Nassau. We had enjoyed a full day of fun at the beach which included some snorkeling. Not paying attention to how long I had been in the water, I had grown tired and was trying to make my way back to the shore. I got caught up in the wake of a passing boat and I was just too tired to continue. 

Struggling desperately to tread water, I began to panic. I knew for sure that I was moments away from drowning. Thankfully, one of my friends spotted me and realized what was happening, and came to my aid.

Later in life, I knew that to overcome those lingering fears I would have to do something bold in order to overcome it. The time had come to face my fear head-on. I signed up for scuba diving lessons. I took and passed the course, having gone through all the paces with my divemaster in the cool spring waters in Florida.

In leadership, you will face many fears and challenges that will come your way. We all do. As a leader, you do not want fear to hold you back. So how do we keep that from happening? How do you know when fear is holding you back? Here are a few ways to know. 

Fear is holding you back when you exaggerate your problems 

Every leader I know faces challenges and obstacles. It comes with the territory. But when you allow fear to magnify them beyond what they truly are then you are allowing fear to win. Make it a point to surround yourself with people who will help you put things in perspective. See the challenge for what it is but don’t allow fear to make more out of it than what’s there.

Fear is holding you back when you entertain negative attitudes 

When negative attitudes infiltrate our minds or come to us from the people around us, it can cause fear to be present. Negative attitudes feed our worst fears. It magnifies our problems, displaces hope, and diminishes confidence. This is why you must approach the challenges to your leadership based on sound judgment and a proper perspective and not one based on fear and negative attitudes.

Fear is holding you back when you are unwilling to take risks

Here’s a sad truth – many leaders never reach the full potential of their leadership and giftedness because they’d rather play it safe and settle than take a risk. This not only hurts you but caps the potential of the people and organization you lead. Fear is one of the leading causes of dreams being deferred and goals being unattained. You certainly don’t want to throw caution to the wind and be careless, but you will never be all you can be until you decide fear is not going to hold you back any longer.

Fear is holding you back when you don’t embrace it

I know this sounds like a contradiction of everything you’ve just read, but fear can be a healthy thing when channeled properly. It’s only when you acknowledge your fear, confront it, and resolve to not let it control your life that you will overcome it. Your fears exist for a reason and so it’s not good to always dismiss them out-of-hand. Discover the underlying reasons for it and act accordingly. Don’t be afraid of fear – figure it out and move forward.

Final Thoughts

Christian Nestell Bovee said, “We fear things in proportion to our ignorance of them”. And that’s why we must not be afraid to confront our fears or allow them to hold us back. Move forward in faith and with a confidence that comes not from a fear of jumping off the diving board but fear of missing out on the wonders beneath the ocean.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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Take A Stand Against Bullying

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I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. It’s not exactly the topic we would like to address but until this problem goes away, we are obligated to do so. It’s up to all of us to be aware, speak up, and do what we can to end it.

Read most any survey or story and you will discover that the problem of bullying is not going away. Through our research we discovered some alarming statistics:

  • 96% of American employees experience bullying in the workplace
  • The percentage of bullies who have been after a specific target for a minimum of one year: 89%
  • 54% of bullies have been bullying for more than five years
  • 62% saw sabotaging of others’ work or reputations as the primary form of bullying in the workplace
  • 51% of employees say their company has a policy for dealing with bullies, but only 7% who are aware of a policy against bullying know of anyone who has ever used it
  • Bosses make up the majority of bullies

As we read statistics like these, we realize that there is much work to be done in order to end it. Let’s first think about where bullying stems from.

In the animal kingdom, there is a constant struggle to determine the Alpha of the group. This position usually goes to the biggest, the strongest, and the healthiest. The purpose of the Alpha in the animal kingdom is to lead and protect the group. In our modern society, we still need leaders, but the leaders no longer need to be the biggest or strongest. We now follow those who are wise, those who inspire us, and those who we trust. Many individuals long for the power and control that they believe being seen as a leader will provide them. Yet, they lack the characteristics that compel others to follow them willingly. These individuals resort to bullying in order to build themselves up in their own minds and intimidate others into following them. 

Our objective here is to lend our voices in raising awareness in hopes that you will come away more informed, and if the victim of bullying to be empowered to take your stand against it. So where do you begin? 

Acknowledge it

Many in the workplace tolerate bullying without realizing what it is. Too often, workers pass off bad actions and behaviors from bosses, or others, as that person just being that person. So rather than call it what it is, and not wanting to “rock the boat”, many suffer quietly while bullying goes unchallenged and unchecked. The time is now to stop suffering in silence and for those bad behaviors to stop.

Address it

It’s simply not enough to recognize bullying when you see it or experience it. You must be courageous enough to address it. This can be beneficial not only to you but for the person doing the bullying as well. The research, we cited went on the say, “One of the issues of workplace bullying is that the bully doesn’t actually know how they are being perceived”. The bully may not recognize that his or her actions are bullying and when confronted will stop. If not, then address the issue head-on and the bully will know that you are not going to tolerate it.

Abstain from it

You do not have to participate in bullying; this type of behavior does not benefit anyone. If you have the desire to be a leader, start sowing the seeds of empathy, trust, and respect. Leadership is built on relationships, not fear. Being part of the ‘in’ crowd is not worth devaluing the worth of yourself or others by participating in bullying behaviors. Click To Tweet

Advocate against it

Now that you are aware of it, become part of the solution. Bullies only gain power when others participate either through the support of their unacceptable behavior or fear and dread of their words and actions. You have the power to stand up and advocate against bullying. When we refuse to accept bullying behavior regardless of who bullying and who is being bullied we take away the bully’s capacity to gain power and control at the expense of others.

We no longer live like animals. We do not need an Alpha to take control by brute force. What we need are leaders. Leaders who support instead of sabotage; influence instead of force; and earn respect instead of despising. Every one of us has the ability to take a stand against bullying; to acknowledge it, to address it, to abstain from it, and to advocate against it. If not now, when? If not you, who?

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson & Liz Stincelli

 

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Influencing What’s Possible

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When we succeed in changing someone’s mind, we shouldn’t only ask whether we’re proud of what we’ve achieved. We should also ask whether we’re proud of how we’ve achieved it. – Adam Grant, Think Again

I read a story not long that explained the process of mining silver from the ground. It is commonly mixed with a number of other elements. In order to get pure silver that can be used for commercial purposes, it must be refined.

Silver has an extraordinarily high melting point. It must be heated to nearly 2,200 degrees in order to be refined to complete purity. Only when it has been through that process does the silver become useful for its intended function. Beautiful service pieces, high-tech equipment, and collectible coins all become possible once the silver has been refined. Without that process, it is largely worthless.

As a leader, you have the privilege of influencing what’s possible in the lives of those you lead and in the life of your organization. Just as silver goes through a refining process, so too do you as a leader have the opportunity to develop and influence those around you. It’s a tremendous responsibility. 

So how might you use your influence in leadership? How do you know if you are doing it right? Here are a few questions to consider when contemplating the power of your influence.

Are my motives pure?

If your motives aren’t pure then your leadership isn’t either. Click To Tweet Your motives and influence as a leader not only should be pure but known to the people that you lead. Transparency is essential to your leadership and if you are looking out for the best interest of your people and your organization then your people should never have to question why you do what you do.

Am I secretly playing politics all while claiming to help?

It is the responsibility of the leader to be out front, cast vision, and lead the organization. Sometimes the lines can be blurred when you confuse the role of your leadership which looks out for everyone with playing politics which only looks out a few. One style will build your people and your organization while the other will tear it apart.

Am I pitting people against one another or bringing them together?

The answer to this question will determine the effectiveness of your leadership. It always has and it always will. The consequences of your motives and whether you play politics – unintended or not, have ramifications that come back to haunt you. Be honest with yourself when answering this question. If you are dividing your people rather than bringing them together, your people will eventually part ways with you.

Am I truly committed to seeing people grow and reach their full potential or am I holding them back?

When you are genuinely committed to the growth and development of your people you will in no way seek to hold them back or stand in their way. Click To Tweet You want to see people take their God-given talent and run with it. You want to influence what’s possible by unleashing all the possibilities in them.

Final Thoughts

Albert Schweitzer was right when he said, “Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It is the only thing.” Your influence as a leader is only as credible as your example as a leader. If you want to have a positive influence as a leader, you must be honest with yourself and with your people. 

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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Three Ways To Know If You Are a Directionally Challenged Leader

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If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading. – Lao Tzu

The voice of my daughter on the other end of the phone was one of panic. “I’m leaving the outlet mall and I’m lost,” she said emphatically. That she may have found herself lost was not a surprise. So I took her through a series of questions about her surroundings and what may or may not have been familiar landmarks to help me help her navigate her way home.

Even before GPS and the ability we now have to navigate, I have always been good with directions. If I’ve been someplace once, generally speaking, I will never need directions again to go back, even if it’s been a long time between trips.

Once when I was about five years old, my family was visiting relatives up in Evanston, Illinois. One day we left the house and went several blocks up the street to watch the 4th of July parade. 

Remembering that I had left something at the house, I ditched my cousins and the rest of the group and headed back to the house. By the time they realized I was no longer with them, it was too late.

To their amazement, not only did I remember which house was theirs but I made my way back to them. Thankfully for my family, I developed my sense of direction at an early age. 

For many, being directionally challenged is not fun. Being lost isn’t either. It can generate a lot of anxiety and concerns – especially for the parents of a wandering five-year-old.

In an article by Glassdoor, they listed the seven types of companies that you should never work for. Coming in at number seven was “The directionless ship”. The red flags, they say, are “no clear plan for the future, employees don’t know long-term goals, senior leadership fails to adequately communicate”. 

The people in your organization need a leader at the helm that is not directionally challenged. They want and deserve a leader with the ability to instill confidence in their ability to give direction. How is that working for you? How is it working in your organization? Here are a few ways to know if you are directionally challenged.

You are directionally challenged when you fail to chart the course

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Before a pilot of an airplane takes flight, he will file a flight plan prior to departure. It will include the plane’s planned flight path. They will also file a manifest of the names of the passengers on board.

In your leadership, you have to have a plan and know the people taking the journey with you. If you have no clear flight plan or have no sense of direction or path of where you are going, everyone will be lost. The responsibility for the plane rests with the pilot. The responsibility for the organization rests with the leader. With no plan, you have no purpose. Your people won’t hang around long under these conditions. They want and need purpose and direction and will go somewhere else to get it.

You are directionally challenged when you fail to communicate

The people in your organization will be more inclined to take the journey with you when the communication is clear and consistent. Just as you want good directions on your GPS or when driving the interstate, sign markers are important. 

When you fail to communicate with your people it’s as if the organizational GPS has been turned off. When this happens, people are left to wonder and speculate and morale will eventually tank. Engagement by your people is proportional to your effectiveness in communicating with them. As a leader, you have no business complaining about the lack of engagement from your people if you are lacking in your communication. It’s just that simple. Click To Tweet

You are directionally challenged when you fail to lead yourself

The hardest person you will ever lead is yourself. On a recent Craig Groeschel podcast, he asked the question that every leader ought to ask themselves daily, “What are you doing today that will strengthen your leadership tomorrow?”. And this is a core question we must answer.

Your ability as a leader to give direction is predicated on your own leadership development and the sense of direction and purpose you possess.

Final Thoughts

If you are directionally challenged as a leader it’s not too late to right the ship. Chart the course, communicate effectively, and lead yourself well. It will put you on the right path.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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Find The Leader

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If you want to know the temperature of your organization, you should put a thermometer in the leader’s mouth – Rick Warren

Many years back when I was doing my chaplain residency in a hospital here in South Carolina, I learned an important leadership lesson that has stuck with me ever since.

The skill being taught was this – find the leader.

The exercise would prove to be an invaluable one not only in my chaplaincy experiences but in many others outside it. 

In my chaplaincy work, when called to a room where a patient had died, often I would be asked to help clear the room. Clearing the room is a delicate balancing act. On the one hand, you have to be respectful of the grief and emotions that are being processed and on the other helping the nursing staff do their job. 

In a room packed with people, upon entry into it, the goal would be to find and identify the leader of the room within the first minute. This person would be your ally in offering your services to the family while facilitating the needs of the hospital staff. The goal? To respectfully do this in a timely manner and to help transition the people in the room to a home. Finding the leader was essential for everyone involved.

The secret to pulling it all off successfully was made within the first minute. Get it right, and things more often than not would go smooth. Get it wrong, and it could end up being a very stressful experience. 

Think about your workplace. If you were to walk into your break room, conference room, or in your area of work, who would stand out as the leader? Could you identify that person within a minute of your arrival into it? 

The reality for the majority of you reading this is not about needing to find that person within one minute of walking into the room. But the underlying principle is this – people tend to gravitate to leaders.

For many, the leader in the room won’t be the flashiest or the most outspoken. But their qualities will be undeniable. The more important thing, of course, is not to find that leader but to be that leader. 

In the book, Developing The Leader Within You 2.0, John Maxwell shares a heartfelt story about a prayer he wrote more than a decade ago before turning 60. It resonated with me as my 60th is on the horizon in a few months. Maxwell states, “I wrote the prayer for myself, even though it reveals some of my personal struggles. And I share it with you now in the hope that it helps you.”

I can find no better way to tell you how to find the leader or be the leader than to share his prayer with you:

Lord, as I grow older, I would like to be known as…

Available–rather than a hard worker.

Compassionate–more than competent.

Content-not driven.

Generous-nstead of rich

Gentle-over being powerful.

Listener-more than a great communicator.

Loving-versus quick or bright.

Reliable-not famous.

Sacrificial-nstead of successful.

Self-controlled–rather than exciting.

Thoughtful-more than gifted.

I want to be a foot washer!

Final Thoughts

In a world that longs for genuine and selfless leaders, finding the leader can often be hard. But if leaders are going to change the world, leaders need to set an example. Click To Tweet

Finding the leader may be a challenge. Being the leader begins by looking in the mirror with honest reflection. Before anything else, it’s an inside job. That’s where you will find and develop the leader.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

 

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Who’s In Your Impact Zone?

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You can impress people from a distance, but you can only impact up close. – Howard G. Hendricks

I will never forget the night of April 8, 1974. I was glued to the TV set in our den at home anxiously waiting to see if history would be made. And sure enough – it was! The Atlanta Braves were hosting the Los Angeles Dodgers. Hank Aaron took a 4th inning pitch from Al Downing and hit home run #715 to surpass the record previously held by Babe Ruth.

As a kid growing up playing Little League, Hank Aaron was my idol. He was baseball royalty, and that night will forever be etched in my memory.


Fast forward to the early 1990s and I’m in Fulton County Stadium watching the warm-ups prior to a Braves game. I am on the far end of the first base dugout with a baseball in hand hoping for an autograph to add to my collection.


I was about to give up when I looked down toward the other end of the dugout where a crowd had swelled and cheers could be heard. Who could it be?

I began making my way toward the crowd to see what the excitement was all about. From the back of the crowd, I got my first glimpse – and there he was, my baseball idol in the flesh – Hank Aaron.

With a freshly purchased baseball in hand, I pressed my way through the crowd to the railing and eagerly handed him my baseball. I stood in awe as I watched him autograph it. I even took a picture of him signing it just for posterity. 

To go from being a little boy idolizing Hank Aaron to having a moment of interaction with him signing a baseball for me, was the most unforgettable experience. 

As a leader, you may never know or realize the impact that you have on other people. My leadership mentor, John Maxwell, said, “Leadership is influence,” and it’s true. You may never know the impact you have on others which is why it’s so important to be mindful of it.

In my early years after college, I worked with a few bad leaders who taught me some leadership lessons I’ve carried with me to this day – like how not to treat people. My careful attention to that leadership lesson was borne out of a bad leadership example and it caused me to pledge to never be like that.

But beyond the good or bad examples that you will observe, think of the impact and opportunity you have to be an example to those around you.

Ask yourself the question – who’s in your impact zone? As the opening quote by Howard G. Hendricks says, “You can impress people from a distance, but you can only impact up close.” And this is your leadership challenge. Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  • Who is going to be most impacted by my leadership?
  • Will the impact of my leadership make them better leaders and better people?
  • Am I more concerned about impressing people from a distance or impacting them up close?

I’d like to challenge you today to pause for a moment and consider those questions and what you want your leadership legacy to look like. 


Final Thoughts

I will never forget those two or three minutes of interaction with my baseball hero Hank Aaron. He was friendly and gracious. In those brief moments, he had no idea how special those moments were to me. But I knew. And in those brief moments, he confirmed everything I thought of him as a boy. 

Shannon Alder said, “Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones.” This is a powerful quote to ponder and a challenge for all leaders. 

I don’t know who is in your impact zone, but let me leave you with this thought – don’t take it for granted. Do your best to be worthy of the privilege to lead.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

 

My new book releases on August 30th! Click here to pre-order my new book!

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Owning Your Leadership Growth

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As a leader, the first person I need to lead is me. The first person I should try to change is me. – John Maxwell

I am old enough to remember as a kid riding in the car with my dad or mom and stopping at the “filling station” to get gas. We’d pull up and drive over the cord that would ring the bell and the attendant would come out and ask, “regular or unleaded?” When given the preference and how much to put in, the attendant would walk to the back of the car, pull back the license plate, twist off the cap, and pump the gas. 

While the gas was being pumped, the attendant would clean the windshield and check the air pressure in the tires, check the oil, and when everything was done, we’d be on our way.

Over time, that began to change. I’ll never forget when the “filling stations” gradually transitioned over to self-service. Gone were the days when someone else did for us that which we were capable of doing ourselves. 

Those early days of the full-service gas station experience are from a distant time and era and you’d be hard-pressed to find one today.

In the opposite fashion, I remember the early days of my leadership development. I was cutting my teeth on books by Warren Bennis, Zig Ziglar, and others who made such an impact in my early leadership development. Then in the early 1990s, I read my first book by John Maxwell, and my leadership journey was forever transformed.

But back in those days, we didn’t have the luxury of the internet and the access we have to such great content and through the mediums we have today with websites, podcasts, streaming services, etc. The growth we experienced we owned with great intentionality.

I am profoundly grateful for where we are today and the access we have to leaders from all over the world who lend their voices to help others grow. It truly is a remarkable time in terms of the opportunity one now has to grow in their leadership. 

As I reflect on these things I am reminded that for all the access we have to such great content, it all comes down to the fact that you and I are responsible for our own growth. We have to want it and we have to own it. Access and opportunity alone are not enough. So how do we take ownership of our leadership growth? Here are three tips for consideration.

Make a plan

If you want to grow as a leader you will need to make a growth plan. If you are not intentional about it, it’s not going to happen. Write out the goals and objectives that you want to attain. You can start with short-range goals – goals that are six months to a year out. Develop medium-range goals – goals you want to achieve in three to five years. Then you can develop long-range goals – where you want to be in five or more years. It all begins with a plan.

Work the plan

The plan is of no value to you unless you work it. Growth is an inside job and before you can lead others you first have to lead yourself. Just as it takes time for seeds to grow and produce fruit, so too is your leadership growth. The seeds of leadership within you grow as you nourish them - it’s in the daily disciplines that growth happens. Click To Tweet

Always have the mindset of a student

I’ve been reading leadership books for almost four decades now. That doesn’t make me an “expert” nor does it give me an excuse to “phone it in” just because I’ve been around the block a few times. Owning your leadership growth means that there is always more to learn and always something to learn from someone else. Never stop learning. Never stop being curious. Never stop asking questions.

Final Thoughts

Growth is an inside job so invite others in to share the journey with you. But at the end of the day whether you grow, or not, is all on you. You have to own your leadership growth. Make a plan, work the plan, and never stop learning. 

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

My new book releases on August 30th. Click here to pre-order your copy today!

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Getting Unstuck: Four Principles to Change Your Leadership – Part Four: Be Prepared

Be Prepared – Boy Scout Motto

Growing up I was a Boy Scout. Troop 300. In fact, I believe my mother held on to my uniform long after I was grown and gone from home. Those formative years being in Scouts was a great time to learn many adventurous things. 

The character lessons learned in Scouts –  things like being faithful, respectful, frugal, and kind are timeless. 

My friend and author John Patrick Hickey wrote a remarkable book entitled, Scouting Out of Uniform: How the Boy Scout Oath & Law can lead You to a Successful Life. It’s a great book, even if you are not a Scout or ever have been. 

In it, he writes, “ Positive people see the world and life around them for exactly what it is. They know troubles and difficulties are all around us. They face the same challenges of work, home, and life like anyone else does. Here’s the difference, positive people do not allow the difficulties of life to get them down and refuse to accept defeat.”

Click here to order Scouting Out of Uniform


When it comes to being stuck in your leadership as I have written about in this series – those times when we feel like we are in a fog, when we feel like we are in a rut, when we feel like we’ve lost momentum, and when we feel like we are not making any progress – we have a choice to make.

Before unpacking principle # 4, let’s review the principles thus far:

  • Principle # 1 – Be Present. Here we learned that when you are stuck is not a time to panic. It’s normal. Chances are, you’ve been stuck before and will be again at some point. 
  • Principle # 2 – Be Patient. Being stuck will not last forever but what you learn during these times will be invaluable to your leadership going forward.
  • Principle # 3 – Be Practical. You will hit your stride again so you need to be realistic about where you are and what you can do in this season. 

No one likes to be stuck. I get it. When stuck, you feel like you are being left behind, but it can be a great time of learning and growth if you manage it properly once the fog begins to lift and you re-emerge from the ruts you were in. And this is where the next principle applies.

Be Prepared – You have new opportunities before you

When you begin to emerge from being stuck, hopefully, you have come away with some fresh insights and things that you learned during that time. The point being, every experience that you go through – good or otherwise, is preparing you for something greater on the other side.

The lessons you learn when stuck will make you a better leader, but now you can use that knowledge to benefit others in their time of struggle.

The key to successfully emerging to the other side of being stuck is to be prepared for what’s next. The mistake many leaders make when stuck is in spending all their energy trying to get unstuck rather than just being in the moment and learning from it. In doing so, you might discover a few things about why you were stuck, to begin with like:

  • Your priorities were out of sync
  • You tried to do it all yourself
  • You were trying too hard to be a people pleaser rather than a leader
  • You forgot that you need to take care of yourself – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually
Emerging a better leader is not always a guarantee. Being prepared and utilizing your time wisely when you are stuck is essential. Click To Tweet

Final Thoughts

Being stuck is just a season you are in now. Discover the principles of being present, being patient, being practical, and being prepared. You’ve got this!

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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Getting Unstuck: Four Principles to Change Your Leadership – Part 3: Be Practical

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Don’t try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night. – Philip K. Dick

I don’t know about you, but I’ve never really been a New Year’s Resolution type person. I seldom ever make them. And no, it’s not because I don’t think that resolution or goals are not important, but because it seems that it’s the only time of the year when we ever talk about them. Why?

I will, however, tip my hat to some of the funnier resolutions I came across for your reading entertainment. Consider these:

>  To become as fat as I was the very first time that I ever thought I was fat.

> To make as many people believe I’m normal before blindsiding them with my actual personality

> I’ve decided to leave my past behind me, so if I owe you money…I’m sorry..but I’ve moved on.

> My pants are starting to fit a little tight so I think it’s time I got serious about my New Year’s resolution to buy bigger pants.

Our resolutions, notwithstanding our most sincere intents, may not always be practical. But we forge ahead with them year after year in hopes something might stick.

But what do you do when you feel stuck? In this series on being stuck, we’ve taken a look at what to do when you are stuck. And here’s what we have established so far – as a leader there will be times when you are stuck. Perhaps you’ve reached a plateau, your creativity is not as sharp as it had been. You feel like you are in a slump. You feel like you are in a fog trying to find your way out. 

So far we have talked about being present in the moment – not rushing the process when everything inside of us is screaming to get out of the rut as quickly as we can. We’ve been reminded that sometimes it’s OK to just be present in the moment and reflect and learn in this season the lessons we need to learn. We also talked about being patient. As much as we don’t like being stuck we have to remember that it won’t last forever.

There is a path forward and you will find it. So what’s next in the process? Let’s take a look at the next principle to change our leadership when we are stuck.

Be practical – You will hit your stride again so don’t rush it

If today you find yourself in a place where you feel stuck, let me once again tell you- be patient. This will not last forever. That being said, you also need to be practical with where you are in the moment and as you begin to find your path forward. Cut yourself some slack. Your momentum will come back and the fog will lift. But it may be a gradual emergence.

What your leadership and perspective look like on the other side of being stuck will likely look different from when you began – and rightfully so. Ruts and being stuck have a way of changing us. 

In your season of being stuck, you need to learn to be practical. You need to understand your new limitations and expectations and operate within them. The lessons you learn while being stuck can help you be stronger on the other side. Embrace where you are and what you can do while stuck. Practicality is in order here.


Final Thoughts

No one likes being stuck. But it doesn’t have to be wasted time or something that’s chalked up as a bad experience. Be present. Be patient. Be practical. You will be a better leader for it.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson 

 

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Getting Unstuck: Four Principles to Change Your Leadership: Part Two- Be Patient

Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears – Barbara Johnson

A story is told of two frogs that fell into a tub of cream. One looked at the high sides of the tub which were too difficult to crawl over and said, “It is hopeless.” So he resigned himself to death, relaxed, and sank to the bottom. The other one was determined to keep swimming as long as he could. “Something might happen,” he said. He kept kicking and churning, and finally, he found himself on a solid platform of butter and jumped to safety.

Like the two frogs, there are times as leaders when we find ourselves stuck and looking for a way out without sinking.

In part one of this series Getting Unstuck, I wrote about the need to be present in those times of being stuck. It goes against the grain in terms of what we want to do because we want to get unstuck as quickly as possible to move on to the next thing. But sometimes we need to embrace the moment and use it wisely to see why we are stuck and what we can learn from it going forward.

Right now in your leadership, you may feel you are stuck. In this fog, you feel like you’ve lost your edge and creative juices. You may not be able to put your finger on it, but you know something doesn’t feel right. If you’ve been there you know what I’m talking about. So let’s explore the second principle for getting unstuck and see what we can learn and apply that will help.

Be Patient – This won’t last forever

If by chance you are wired like I am, patience is not one of your finer qualities. I wish it were not true, but it is. I hate sitting in traffic, I hate waiting in line- especially for ice cream.  I hate meetings that crawl along and are going nowhere – all the while sitting there thinking of all the things I could be doing.  I’m not alone, am I?

That all being said, there’s one thing I’ve learned after several decades in leadership: being stuck is not permanent. Be patient. This won’t last forever. 

When we are stuck, we tend to magnify the situation and feel like we will never find our way out of our funk. It’s why being present in the moment that I wrote about in part one is so important. We want to get unstuck as quickly as we can and get moving. But being present in our stuck moments can be a valuable time of growth and that takes patience.

When we are present in the moment and exercise patience, we eventually begin to see not only what’s at work around us, but more importantly, what’s going on within us. First and foremost, leadership is an inside job. And when we are stuck, we must take the time for self-reflection. Click To Tweet

What’s got you stuck today? Is it a lack of clarity that you need or an attitude that’s gone awry? Have you cut yourself off from people you need to listen to and those who can hold you accountable? It can be any number of factors, but know this- it’s in your patience and being in the moment that will eventually move you forward.

Final Thoughts

Being stuck is no fun. What’s worse is squandering the moment and not learning from it. Allow yourself to be present at the moment and be patient. You will come through this if you keep your heart and attitude right.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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