How Leaders Talk To Themselves

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Talking about what you want focuses your mind on the outcome you desire rather than the one you fear and dread. – Valorie Burton

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he…” – Proverbs 23:7

I’ve been around long enough to know that how we see ourselves and how we talk to ourselves will ultimately chart the course for where we go in life. It’s inevitable and it’s predictable.

You see, your destination is all dependant upon the thoughts you entertain, and what you talk yourself into believing. You will never rise higher than the way you see or perceive yourself. 

In his book, Power of the Plus Factor, Dr. Norman Vincent Peale shares a story about walking through the streets of Hong Kong. He came upon a tattoo shop and was looking at all of the available choices for tattoos in which a person could select. One, in particular, stood out – “Born to lose”. Taken aback, Dr. Peale asked the shop owner why anyone would ever choose to have that saying inked on their body.

In his broken English, the shop owner replied, “Before tattoo on body, tattoo on mind.” And this is precisely what you have to be on guard against as a leader. 

As a leader, you have to be intentional about how you talk to yourself. How you talk to yourself matters now more than ever. This is easier said than done, and so I want to break the process down for you. How you talk to yourself, in part, depends on the following questions.

Who do you allow to speak into your life?

There will be many voices who speak in your life but not every voice needs to speak into it. There’s a difference between those who speak in your life and those who speak into it and the sooner you learn who those people are the better. Click To Tweet Many voices and a lot of chatter take place on the margins of your life. Some of it is unavoidable. But not all of it. 

Action step: Who are you allowing to speak into your life? Are they adding value and helping to move you in the right direction? Who do you need to stop listening to?

What are you listening to?

Our culture in many ways is toxic and divided. It’s red vs. blue, left vs. right, and people find it harder than ever to come together. We’ve lost the art of meaningful conversation and listening that’s coupled with mutual respect. It might be a given, but what you listen to matters just as much as who you listen to if not more. 

Action Step: Think for a moment about what you listen to on any given day. Is it uplifting, positive, inspiring, and motivating? Is it bringing people together or driving the wedge of division further? What can you do today to change or improve what you are listening to?

What do you dwell on?

Of all the voices that speak in your life and into your life, which ones do you dwell on? What conversations and topics do you most find yourself returning to and entertaining? These are the ones that will more times than not be the source for the conversations that you have with yourself. It will always be a challenge to separate what you dwell on from the way you talk to yourself. What your mind dwells on the most is what will take root in your heart. Be careful.

Action Step: In what way can you begin to filter what you listen to and what you dwell on? What habits do you need to change? 

What do you believe?

That you hear many voices on a daily basis isn’t the issue. That there are voices that may try to define who you are and define your worth is not the issue. That there are toxic people and much division around you isn’t the issue either. Ultimately, it comes down to what you believe and what you choose to entertain that will determine the way you talk to yourself and drive the behaviors that come from it. So, let me ask you, what do you believe?

Action Step: How can you better filter the voices that you hear? What one change can you make today that will help you? 

Final Thoughts

It’s been said that the longest distance in the world is from your head to your heart. Be careful and wise about what gets in your head because you don’t want it getting into your heart. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” When it comes to how you talk to yourself as a leader, you must control the narrative.

 

©2022 Doug Dickerson

 

 

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Living Your Purpose Through Your Priorities

If you’re alive, there’s a purpose for your life. – Rick Warren

One of golf’s immortal moments came when a Scotchman demonstrated the new game of golf to President Ulysses S. Grant. Placing the ball of the tee, he took a mighty swing. The club hit the turf and scattered dirt all over the President’s beard and surrounding vicinity,  while the ball placidly waited on the tee. Again, the Scotchman swung, and again he missed. Grant waited patiently through six more tries then quietly stated, “There seems to be a fair amount of exercise in the game, but I fail to see the purpose of the ball.”

Welcome to 2022 along with all the resolutions, diets, and goals that come with it. It’s a new year full of endless possibilities and a chance to hit the reset button. 

As you contemplate this new year you don’t want to find yourself in a situation like Grant and see a lot of swinging and missing and failing to the purpose of the ball – or this case, the purpose of your goal. In 2022, you want to be focused, know your purpose, and hit your goals along the way.

Remember the line from Lewis Carrol’s Alice’s Adventure in Wonderland? It went like this: 

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?”

“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

“I don’t much care where-” said Alice.

“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.

And this is precisely why you have to connect your purpose to your priority. With it, you can chart the course and get there, without it, you drift.


I would like to share with you something that I came across a few years ago by Gary Keller entitled: Goal Setting to the Now. It’s perhaps one of the most practical examples I’ve seen on goal setting that works. It goes like this:

Someday Goal

What’s the One Thing I want to do someday?

Five-Year Goal

Based on my Someday Goal, what’s the One Thing I can do in the next five years?

One-Year Goal

Based on my Five-Year Goal, what’s the One Thing I can do this month?

Monthly Goal

Based on my One-Year Goal, what’s the One Thing I can do this month?

Weekly Goal

Based on my Monthly Goal, what’s the One Thing I can do this week?

Daily Goal

Based on my Weekly Goal, what’s the One Thing I can do today?

Right Now

Based on my Daily Goal, what’s the One Thing I can do right now?

Goal setting and goal execution are two different things. By using this model, you can think and plan long-term while doing your One Thing right now to make it happen.

Final Thoughts

Living your purpose through your priorities is essential for your success. Who you surround yourself with is just as important. Make sure your priorities and the people around you are aligned properly for maximum success in 2022.

 

©2022 Doug Dickerson

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2022 Is Your Year To Soar!

Photo Credit: Doug Dickerson

Eagles don’t flock, you have to find them one at a time. – Ross Perot

While walking through the forest one day, a man found a young eagle who had fallen out of its nest. He took it home and put it in his barnyard where it soon learned to eat and behave like the chickens. 

One day a naturalist passed by the farm and asked why it was that the king of all birds should be confined to live in a barnyard with the chickens. The farmer replied that since he had given it chicken feed and trained it to be a chicken, it had never learned to fly. Since it now behaved as the chickens, it was no longer an eagle.

“Still it has the heart of an eagle,” replied the naturalist, “and can surely be taught to fly.” He lifted the eagle toward the sky and said, “You belong to the sky and not to the earth. Stretch forth your wings and fly.” The eagle, however, was confused. He did not know who he was, and seeing the chickens eating their feed, he jumped down to be with them again.

The naturalists took the bird to the roof of the house and urged him again, saying, “You are an eagle. Stretch forth your wings and fly.” but the eagle was afraid of his unknown world and jumped down once more for the chicken feed. 

Finally, the naturalist took the eagle out of the barnyard to a high mountain. There he held the king of the birds high above him and encouraged him again, saying, “You are an eagle, you belong to the sky. Stretch forth your wings and fly.” The eagle looked around, back towards the barnyard and up to the sky. Then the naturalist lifted him straight towards the sun and it happened that the eagle began to tremble. Slowly he stretched his wings, and with a triumphant cry, soared away into the heavens.

On the brink of a new year, it’s time to decide – fly with the eagles or run with the chickens. I believe that it’s time for you to break free and remind yourself of some of the following truths.  

Not everyone who picks you up will lift you up

The man who found the young eagle might have meant well in bringing the young eagle to his barn. But over time, his good deed turned the majestic bird, full of so much potential, into a common barnyard chicken.

If you want to soar as a leader you must break free from the good intentions of people who do not bring out the best in you. Click To Tweet

Your worth is not defined by those holding you back

As the young eagle grew its identity was shaped by the company that is kept. Instead of realizing its full potential to soar the heavens, it was grounded with the chickens. The eagle was being labeled as something it wasn’t. His future was being cast. And the man could not be more wrong.

If you want to soar as a leader you must never let the people who are holding you back define your worth. When you have the heart of an eagle, don’t allow the mindset of a chicken to hold you back.

You can only soar like an eagle when you start acting like one

Over time, the young eagle was persuaded by the naturalist that he was more than a chicken as led to believe. It was when the eagle embraced everything that was great about him that he took his rightful place soaring to the heavens. 

If you want to soar as a leader you will have to shake off the labels of your critics and stop hanging out with the chickens. Surround yourself with those who bring out the best in you.

Those who believe in you the most will insist that you fly

The naturalist saw the eagle for the grand and majestic bird that it was. He knew that as long as it was confined to the barnyard it would never live up to its potential. He saw the eagles’ potential and he didn’t give up until it flew.

If you want to soar as a leader you will need people in your life who believe in you, people who will call out the best in you, and people who will never rest until you fly.

 

2022 is your year to soar!

 

© 2021 Doug Dickerson

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A Season For Reflection

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Follow effective action with quiet reflection.  From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action – Peter Drucker

Somewhere at the beginning of each day, you probably find yourself looking at your reflection in the mirror. Many of us never give a second thought as to how that reflection is produced. All surfaces reflect some light, but only a special type of surface reflects light in such a way that it can form a mirror.

In 1835, German chemist Justis von Liebig devised a process for coating plates of glass with metallic silver. This was the beginning of the mirror as we know it today and helped it become a household item. The mirrors in our homes are made in a similar fashion by evaporating a very thin layer of silver onto a glass. 

If you’re like me, spending a lot of time in front of the mirror is not a good thing–for the mirror. But during the month of December in the lead up to Christmas and when thoughts turn toward the new year, it is a time of reflection.

What about you? What are you reflecting on? What are you thankful for? What are you celebrating? What are you mourning?

Times of reflection as a leader are important and every leader needs to do it. Here are a few ways it can help you grow in your leadership.

It puts your past in perspective

When you look back on 2021, it will generate mixed emotions and responses for sure. But the lessons you’ve learned serve a greater good when you stop to consider all that you’ve been through.

While you may not have chosen every event that came your way, you found a way to face it. You found a way to pivot, improvise, and adapt. Was it easy? Certainly not. Were their setbacks and disappointments? Yes. But here you are, and you are here for a purpose.

Reflect on this: You are not defined by your past. You have a purpose to fulfill.

It gives context to your present

Reflection gives you the opportunity to put your present situation into context. One year ago, many would not have imagined they would be in the situation they find themselves in today. Think about the challenges you faced this past year. I’m sure much has changed as you reflect on it and look toward the promise of a new year. 

Nibo Qubein said, “Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go, they merely determine where you start”. And this is the point of reflection – not to see how far you’ve come but to get a good look at the starting line going forward.

Reflect on this: What actions do you need to take today to get a fresh start on your future?

It provides clarity for your future

Richard Carlson was right when he said, “Reflection is one of the most underused yet powerful tools for success”. And this is one of the primary benefits of it. Not only does reflection give you the benefit of putting your past in perspective and context to your present, but it can give you a blueprint for your future. Click To Tweet

Every lesson you’ve learned this year has prepared you for this moment. You are not the sum of your failures, fears, or setbacks. I believe that you’ve been prepared by them for a future brighter than what you’ve imagined.

Reflect on this: What attitudes do I need to embrace and who are the people that I need to surround myself with going forward?

Final Thoughts

Times of reflection can be invaluable to you as a leader. It can give you the clarity you need as you lead your people who rely on it. Embrace times of reflection and develop it as a discipline. You will be the wiser leader for it.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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When the Cure is Worse Than the Problem

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Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself. – Groucho Marx

I’d like to share with you about the time I was passed out on the kitchen floor at my parent’s house. In my defense, alcohol was involved.

I was around 10 or 11, and my sister and I were in the big field out behind our house. As we were walking along, I was pulling weeds. We were headed back to the house and as we were making our way to the backyard, I reached down to pull one last weed out of the ground before going inside. This time when I did, it slit my index finger open.


As we approached the house, my instinct was to go up to the water faucet and start cleaning it up. Blood was everywhere and my blue winter coat was soaked in it which only created more alarm on the part of my sister who promptly went inside to tell my mother – not a good move.

Once inside, my mother did as I had predicted she would – she panicked! My dad was at work and so she was almost hysterical in trying to figure out what to do. She had me stand at the sink and put my hand over it so as not to spill blood on the floor. Then she left.

A few moments later she returned with a bottle of rubbing alcohol. I was under the impression that she would only pour just a little of it on my finger in order to “kill the germs”. In her panic and to my astonishment, my mother turned the bottle upside down and proceeded to pour all of it onto my finger!

For a brief moment I recalled letting out a scream – but not much after that as I then passed out onto the kitchen floor. In her desire to help me with my cut finger, I was now passed out on the floor that she didn’t want any blood on just moments before. 

There are a few lessons I learned from that experience that applies to us in leadership. See how these resonate with you.

Sometimes problems look worse than they are

As a leader, you will experience problems and issues of varying degrees all the time. In those moments, be careful not to exaggerate the problem beyond what it is. It’s likely you will have others around you doing that already. Your job as the leader is to accurately define the situation and calmly convey the right course of action that’s needed. Not every problem requires you to dump the whole bottle of alcohol on it to fix it. Stay calm and think it through.

Sometimes the “cure” is worse than the problem

In a way that I am not fully capable of explaining, my sweet mother, God rest her soul, in the heat of the moment believed that an entire bottle of rubbing alcohol was the “cure” to my cut. There will be times in leadership when those around you may propose a solution to a problem that is not worthy of the problem. Click To Tweet In the heat of the moment, you need to be clear-eyed and accurately assess the situation and not make matters worse. The damage caused by the cure can make a very manageable problem much larger simply by doing the wrong thing.

Sometimes you have to hide the alcohol from your mother

I am now able to look back on that experience and laugh over what happened that day. But had I known what was going to happen before leaving the house to go on that walk, I would have hidden that bottle of rubbing alcohol from her.

As a leader, you will be exposed to people from whom you need to hide the alcohol. I bet you can name at least one of them now, am I right? But more importantly, as a leader, you need to be about training your people not to see “problems” but to see the opportunities before them and gear them toward a solution mindset versus a problem mindset. Then when they come to you, they don’t just come with a problem, they come with ideas on how to solve it.

Let’s be careful not to make the cure worse than the problem. There is a better way.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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The Power of a Thankful Leader

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If a fellow isn’t thankful for what he’s got, he isn’t likely to be thankful for what he’s about to get. – Frank A. Clark

A story is told of two men who were walking through a field one day when they spotted an enraged bull. Instantly they darted toward the nearest fence.  The storming bull followed in hot pursuit, and it was soon apparent they wouldn’t make it. 


Terrified, the one shouted to the other, “Put up a prayer, John. We’re in for it!” 


John answered, “I can’t. I’ve never made a public prayer in my life.”


“But you must!” implored his companion. “The bull is catching up to us.”


“All right,” panted John, “I’ll say the only prayer I know, the one my father used to repeat at the table: ‘O Lord, for what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'”

With all of the pressures and demands that are placed on leaders today, it’s as important as ever to stop and give thanks. In this season as we prepare to do just that, let’s examine why it’s important to you as a leader to give thanks. 

It puts the past in perspective
Every leader has a story to tell regarding his or her journey. You’ve had ups and downs, struggles, and sacrifices along the way. There were times you probably thought about throwing in the towel. But here you are. No, you haven’t “arrived” yet, but you are in a good place, and in comparison to where you were, you are very blessed.

It’s important to remember the past but not to live there. The perspective you gain is in knowing that every trial and experience along the way has prepared you for this moment and for a bright future ahead. Be thankful for your past and where you have come from, but keep looking forward.


It gives the present a purpose
When you develop a thankful heart as a leader it helps give purpose to your present. If you are holding on to a hurt, or bitterness from your past, you won’t be effective as a leader today. Let it go. You are right where you are for a reason. Your past experiences, good and bad, have prepared you for this time and place in your leadership journey. You may not be where you want to be, but then again, you are not where you once were either. 


It’s as you understand your purpose and put it into context you can excel in your leadership skills. As you carry within you a thankful heart and serve with humility you can set the course for a bright future. Click To Tweet


It gives hope for the future
When you learn the secret of a thankful heart it frees you as a leader. When you learn to count your blessings instead of your troubles, it will help you look at your troubles with a different attitude. You are not defined by your past and you are not the sum of your fears or your mistakes. You have a solid grip on the present. You have hope.


Your future is wide open and is predicated on being thankful for all the blessings you now enjoy. As you ponder these and other blessings during this time of the year, do so with a renewed commitment to not neglect this important area of your leadership. What are you thankful for?

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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Calling Audibles

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The measure of intelligence is the ability to change. – Albert Einstein

Among the many NFL quarterbacks good at calling audibles, Peyton Manning would certainly have to be at or near the top of any list as one of the best.

How many times during a game did you hear that infamous, “Omaha, Omaha,” audible be called? 

A few years back, Manning finally explained what it meant. He said, “Omaha was just an indicator word. It was a trigger word that meant we had changed the play, there was low time on the clock and the ball needed to be snapped right now to kind of let my offensive lineman know that ‘Hey, we’d gone to Plan B, there’s low time on the clock.’ It’s a rhythmic word, O-ma-ha, set hut.” Now you know.

What made Manning so good during his career was his ability to read the defense and have the wherewithal to change plays on a dime. He was a tireless student of the game. 

Nick Kosmider shared about how Manning once had his backup QBs watch the previous week’s broadcast to find when field mics caught the audio of his audible calls. During prep for one game, Manning was alerted that his “badger” call had come across clearly on TV the week prior. So he said, “We’re going to make that a dummy audible this week.” 

In the game, Peyton said, “Badger, badger!” You can literally see the linebackers and defensive linemen say, “Run right, Run right, let’s go!”. So he fakes the handoff, linebackers are biting hard, he boots out and throws a wide-open bootleg pass to Julius Thomas.” All because of the dummy audible.

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Peyton played at a higher level than most and one of the reasons why was his ability in real-time to assess the defense and call the audible.

As a leader, your ability to assess situations going on around you in real-time is important. Circumstances change. Things you planned and prepared for change. The unexpected happens. Your ability to lead your team in those moments is crucial. But how do we know when it’s time to do so? What triggers those calls? Here are a few observations about calling audibles that might be helpful.

Calling audibles is about your instincts

Simon Sinek says, “Great leaders and great organizations are good at seeing what most of us can’t see. They are good at giving us things we would never think of asking for.” And this is what makes great quarterbacks and great leaders stand out from the rest – the ability to see what others don’t and the ability to change when necessary. Having good instincts doesn’t just happen by chance. More on that in a moment.

Calling audibles is about having confidence

The confidence a leader has in her abilities and the confidence that’s placed in her – based on a proven track record-  creates chemistry among that team that will be hard to stop. When the leader calls an audible and the team runs a different play, it’s done so and executed because of the confidence of the leader and the bond of trust that’s been formed. Click To Tweet

Calling audibles is about preparedness

Quarterbacks don’t call an audible just for the sake of calling one. In an interview, Manning said, “On TV it may have looked frantic and spontaneous, but the truth is I practiced every audible I ever called, and I practiced it with my teammates.” For Manning, it wasn’t about “winging it” as he says but preparing for any and every contingency on the field.

Final Thoughts 

The smart leaders and teams work on a similar plan –  they work hard and work together, have a game plan, prepare audibles just in case, and execute to the best of their abilities. Win or lose, they do it as a team.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

 

* Full Disclosure: As a Tennessee native and Vol fan, I am obviously a fan of Peyton Manning. I was fortunate enough to see him play once while at Tennessee. It was October 1, 1994. Tennesse beat Arkansas 38-21.

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Stop Assuming, Start Connecting

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You can make more friends in two months by becoming more interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. – Dale Carnegie

In the book Leadershift, John Maxwell shares a story about being invited to a game by Pat Summit, the late head coach of the Lady Vols basketball team at the University of Tennessee.

He recounts how he was able to go into the locker room at halftime which served as a major “aha” moment for him. In the locker room, Summit and a few coaches gathered to talk about what took place in the first half of the game. The players gathered around a whiteboard in a semicircle to answer three questions written on it: What did we do right in the first half? What did we do wrong? What do we need to change? When the girls had answered all three questions, Summit and her coaches would then go over and talk about their responses, and then she would send them back out to warm up for the second half of the game.

Curious about this, Maxwell asked Pat Summit about this technique. She replied, “Too many lead by assumptions. They assume they know where their people are. That halftime exercise lets me find my players so I can lead them. That can only be done by asking questions and listening to their answers.”

In her remarkable career at Tennessee, Pat Summit won eight national championships. Her leadership on and off the court left an indelible impression upon many and she is greatly missed today.

With Coach Pat Summit

Her insights into connecting with her players still have relevance today. Look at most any survey on employee-employer relations and you will consistently at the top of any list are complaints like not listening, favoritism, micromanaging, not showing appreciation, overbearing, and the lists go on. 

It’s been said that assumptions are the termites of relationships. I believe this to be true in leadership. But as leaders why do we do it? What are some of the mistaken assumptions we make that hurt our leadership? Here are a few for your consideration.

We assume everyone shares our perspective

While you may wish it were true, not everyone in your sphere of influence shares your perspective and sees things your way. When you assume that they do, it can create misunderstandings that you caused but the shift in blame usually falls elsewhere. At the end of the day, if you want a culture of shared values, mission, and purpose, then you have to quit assuming it exists and connect with your people to create it. Click To Tweet  A key to effective leadership is found when you purposefully connect with your people and respect everyone’s voice. 

We assume everyone else will eventually come around to seeing things our way

In as much as we mistakenly believe that everyone shares our perspective, we can also assume that over time, everyone will eventually fall in line and see things our way. Let’s be honest – wearing your people down is not a good leadership strategy. However, when you listen to your people, as Pat Summit listened to her players, then you can connect and build relationships with your people which in turn elevates morale and creates wins for the team.

We assume everything is dependant on us

“It’s not about you,” is the opening sentence of the acclaimed book The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. It pointedly encapsulates everything you need to know about living a life that matters and also your life in leadership. The assumption that everything is dependant on us or it all goes down the tubes is a misnomer. Perhaps we need to rediscover a renewed sense of humility in our leadership which makes the whole idea of connecting with others more meaningful when we understand that we truly need each other. Click To Tweet

Final Thoughts

Connecting with others and building relationship is one of the greatest privileges in leadership. We should never take it for granted and always remember that what we can accomplish together is greater than what we can do on our own. In order to do so, we need to stop assuming and start connecting.

©2021 Doug Dickerson

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Why Clarity Matters in Your Leadership

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Individuals can live without certainty from a leader, but not without clarity. – John Maxwell

A story is told about the father of a vacationing family who came across a large sign that read, “Road Closed, Do Not Enter.” The man proceeded around the sign because he was confident it would save them time. His wife was resistant to the adventure, but there was no turning back for this road warrior.

After a few miles of successful navigation, he began to boast about his navigational skills. His proud smile was quickly replaced with humble sweat when the road led to a washed-out bridge. 

He turned the car around and retraced his tracks to the main road. When they arrived at the original warning sign he was greeted by large letters on the back of the sign, “Welcome back, stupid!”

How many times have we thought- even as leaders, that we knew for sure what we were doing or talking about, only to discover that we were wrong the whole time? I’ve been there plenty of times. Chances are, you have as well. Now what?

In leadership, it’s important to remember that we are not required to have all of the answers. That ought to be refreshing. But for the sake of the people we lead, let’s talk about what’s needed most which is clarity. Here are a few reasons why it matters.

Clarity provides context

Often it’s not answers to big questions that are the most important thing your people need, but context to the smaller ones. They may not see the big picture as you do. So rather than trying to tackle the big picture, break it down into bite-size pieces so that they can make sense of what matters today.

Your people will be more apt to move forward with confidence if they have clarity and context about what they are doing and why.

Leadership Tip: Keep it simple.

Clarity inspires camaraderie

Your people will rally around a common goal and mission. When you people have clarity about what it is, their role in it, and why it matters, it makes all the difference. As you cut through the confusion and any indifference that might exist, you can move your people to a new level.

At every opportunity, give your people clarity to what’s going on around them. They will appreciate it and from there you can build stronger morale. Click To Tweet

Leadership Tip:  Keep your people together.

Clarity builds trust

Trust is your leadership currency. With it, you have unlimited possibilities before you. Without it, you are done. When you provide clarity, even during uncertain times and when answers are in short supply, you are building relations with your people based on their trust in you. During challenging times, your people need to be able to look to you with the assurance that you will always tell the truth – even if it hurts, knowing you have their best interests at heart. 

Leadership Tip: Keep your people close. 

Final Thoughts

We live in a time when clarity seems to be in short supply. As a leader, be mindful that you don’t have to be the answer-man to every problem. Nor should you pretend to know it all. But in your role as a leader, you can give clarity and that will always serve you well. 

 

©2022 Doug Dickerson

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Weigh Your Words Carefully

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No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world. – Robin Williams

President Calvin Coolidge was known as a man of few words. His nickname was “Silent Cal.” His wife, Grace Goodhue Coolidge, told the story of a young woman who sat next to her husband at a dinner party. She told Coolidge she had a bet that she could get at least three words of conversation from him. Without looking at her he quietly retorted, “You lose.” 

Coolidge understood very well the value of using only carefully considered words- and those being few in number.

Words are an important part of our lives and leadership. Words matter. Knowing when and how to use them makes a world of difference. 

In his book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, John Maxwell says,” The difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter- it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” And this is the challenge for us as leaders – to be lightning with our words.

Since our words are essential to our leadership success, let’s examine how we can weigh them more carefully. Here are a few questions to ask yourself when using your words as a leader.

Will my words add value?

I don’t know about you, but unfortunately, there have been times in my leadership that my words made me feel good at the moment but they did add any lasting value. The writer in Proverbs says, “The tongue has the power of life and death.” (18:21). Before using your words, be sure to ask yourself if the words you are about to use – verbally or written, are going to add value to the person receiving them. 

Is this the right time?

Your words are important. How you deliver them is as well. The right words at the wrong time can produce unintended consequences just as much as the wrong words at the right time. Before using your words, ask yourself – is this the right time for my words? If not, wait. 

Have my words been chosen carefully?

Leadership is a privilege and so too is the privilege to use your words to communicate. In a world of instant communication with the world, how you choose your words is as important as ever. Not every thought that enters your mind needs to pass through your mouth or be a tweet. Choose your words carefully because once you use them, you own them. Click To Tweet

Who needs to hear my words?

There’s a time and place for everything – including your words. Words of encouragement, support, and affirmation are words that can and will benefit anyone in your organization at any given time. But then there are words that need to be spoken in private or that only a few need to hear. Know your audience, know their needs, weigh your words.

How will my words be remembered?

Here’s what we all need to be reminded of as leaders – our words will be remembered. And the question before us is how do we want them to be remembered? Were they inspiring? Were they visionary? Were they life-changing? Did they add value?

Final Thoughts

The understanding of your thoughts and words and how to use them in your life and leadership will go a long way toward your effectiveness as a leader. The key is to know when to use them, know when to hold them, and always make the most of them.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

 

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