I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. – Maya Angelou

I read a story once about a farmer who wanted to sell his mule, so he put an ad in the local paper. One day, a man from another community came to the farm. The two farmers got to talking and eventually, they got around to talking about the mule.

The farmer who wanted to buy the mule asked if the mule was a good worker. The reply was that the mule did a day’s work. The next question that was asked is did the mule obey every command. The owner said yes. The farmer asked if they could hitch the mule up to see how it worked. The owner agreed.

The farmer got the mule into his harness and the farmer took the reins and told the mule to giddy up. The mule just stood there. The farmer tried a couple of more times and still, the mule just stood there. The farmer looked at the owner and said, “I thought you told me this mule obeys.” “He does,” said the owner, who then picked up a 2×4 and walked to the front where he was facing the mule. He then hit the mule as hard as he could. He then walked back to the farmer, “Try again.” The farmer did and the mule obeyed. The owner said. “This mule always obeys, but you have got to get his attention first.” 

As a leader, and especially as an employer, the way in which you capture the attention and treat the people you lead is critically important. 

A sampling of a recent Harris Poll survey discovered the following:

• Many American employers display harmful behaviors such as setting unreasonable expectations (51%), and credit stealing (48%)
• The anxiety stemming from toxic bosses is extensive, with 73% experiencing weekend anxiety about returning to work on Monday
• A significant number of employees (66%) with toxic bosses plan to quit as soon as the economy allows

With this type of sentiment among many employees, it should go without saying that a significant leadership deficiency must be addressed. But unless and until we address it with clarity and intentionality, these unacceptable behaviors will only continue.

As a leader, how you get the attention of your people matters. And while a 2×4 might work with a mule, you must remember that you are making connections on a human level. It’s not enough to have the attention of the people you lead (bad leaders can do that), you must be intentional about a better path forward. Here are a few things to do and understand.

Trust is your currency

Unless and until you are a trustworthy leader, you will always come up short in getting the attention and respect of the people you lead. Without it, you are dead in the water, with it, your possibilities are endless. Make trust the foundation of your leadership.

Put the focus where it belongs

The cardinal rule in leadership is simple – it’s not about you. And people are interested in the people who are interested in them. The more you are interested in others, the more they will be interested in you, and thus you will expand your influence as a leader. Click To Tweet You will get the attention of the people you lead when interested in them.

Empower your people

People will have buy-in and take greater ownership of what they help create. When you believe in your people and empower them, they will go to great lengths to impress you. A true sign of your leadership is not found in how much power you amass for yourself, but in how much you give away.

Follow the golden rule

People don’t care how much you know. They will, however, always remember how you treated them and made them feel. As John Maxwell says, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” Let this be your true north in your leadership.

 

©2024 Doug Dickerson