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Strong At The Broken Places

 

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The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places. – Ernest Hemingway, 

As one of our most popular and most consequential presidents, Abraham Lincoln led the United States through one of the darkest times in American History. The Civil War weighed heavily upon Lincoln as he carried the burden of preserving the Union and ending slavery.

Lincoln struggled deeply with depression. Friends described seasons where he could barely function. He openly wept. After the death of his son Willie in 1862, he was shattered. Witnesses said he sobbed uncontrollably and would visit the crypt alone.

Unlike many leaders who hide their brokenness, Lincoln didn’t pretend invincibility. He spoke openly about his sadness, told stories that revealed his inner turmoil, and led with humility rather than bravado. In one letter, he confessed, “I am now the most miserable man living.” 

Craig Groeschel said, “ You can’t heal from a wound you ignore. It may feel hard, but don’t be afraid to be transparent and vulnerable. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom.” And this is the challenge we find ourselves in at our broken places. 

Research published on Calm.com (https://tinyurl.com/4cnmbbzf ) offers telling insights into the state of mind of American executives. Here are some key findings:

  • While nearly nine in 10 executives (87%) report their mental/emotional health as “good” or better, almost half (48%) acknowledge feeling overwhelmed, and about a quarter (24%) report leadership stress showing up as anxiety or depression.
  • 50% say they have considered stepping down from their leadership role, while two-in-three have considered a career change and taking a sabbatical.
  • Only one in four reports their “mental battery” is fully charged.
  • 42% say they actively shield their teams from their stresses.
  • Executives identify two unique leadership pressures as the predominant stress drivers: responsibility for others’ livelihoods (63%) and a sense of having “no off switch” (54%).

While many leaders actively shield their teams from their stresses, what else could they be shielding? The broken places will never heal so long as they remain cloaked in a false sense of bravery and duty to the detriment of one’s own mental health and well-being.

Circling back to Lincoln, here are a few observations that you might find useful as you consider your own broken places in your leadership. 

His emotional honesty deepened his moral clarity

Coming to terms with the struggles and challenges you face in your leadership is not a sign of weakness, but, as Craig Groeschel said, a sign of wisdom. Being vulnerable and honest opens the door for a new level of your leadership to emerge. 

For Lincoln, moral clarity was heightened not in covering up his struggles but by embracing them. Moral clarity was forged in heartache and tears. This type of vulnerability doesn’t diminish your leadership; it solidifies it. 

Think about your broken places. In what ways are you allowing those vulnerable places to forge the leader in you and give you a greater sense of moral clarity?

His vulnerability did not weaken his authority- it strengthened it

Many leaders make the mistake of believing that their vulnerability will cause them to lose credibility and standing among their peers or team. They simply do not see how the risk could be worth it.

For Lincoln, who endured unimaginable responsibilities of national importance alongside great personal loss, it was his pathway to his own healing and that of the nation. Neither came easily, and both with great cost. But his leadership authority was defined by both.

Here is what I know: leaders today are overwhelmed and stressed like never before. Many are suffering in silence, smiling as they go about their days. Some are ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. 

Here is my message to you: You are not alone. It’s OKAY to not be OKAY. Your broken places are stepping stones to take your leadership to the next level. And, it’s OKAY to ask for help. We are not meant to do this alone. We are stronger together.

 

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Putting Down Milemarkers

Ancient Roman Milemarker. Credit: Google Images

Anyone can steer the ship, but it takes a leader to chart the course. – John Maxwell

If you have ever driven along any highway or interstate system, then you are a beneficiary of an ancient marking system for roads and travel. 

The idea of mile markers dates back to the Roman Empire. The Romans built an enormous road system and placed stone pillars called “milestones” every Roman mile. The primary reason for the markers was straightforward: to let travellers know how far they were from Rome.

The Romans often listed the name of the emperor who built or repaired the road. This was less about convenience and more about imperial power and control. Rome wanted everyone to know who owned the roads.

During the Middle Ages, after Rome fell, the roads remained, but the markers and distances faded. “A day’s walk”, or “half a league,” were terms used in its place. As trade picked up, some regions reintroduced distance stones, but there was no universal system. 

In the 1600s and 1700s, Britain standardized the statute mile (5,280 ft). Turnpike roads began installing mileposts. These helped travelers, mail coaches, and toll collection. This system heavily influenced our system in the U.S. 

In the early 18th and 19th centuries, milestones became highly functional and uniform. Today, they are essential for navigation, maintenance, and emergencies (for example, an accident at mile marker 135).

John Maxwell said, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” And this is one of the guiding principles in leadership. Here are a few key ideas for your consideration as a leader. 

Leaders make progress measurable

Just as a traveler knows their location on the highway by mile markers, good leaders set measurable standards for progress. They help turn vision into clear benchmarks so that individuals or teams are not left guessing whether they are winning or losing. 

Progress needs to be measured, and milestones or benchmarks provide leaders and teams with the information they need to move forward.

Execution improves when everyone can answer two simple questions

Your responsibility as a leader is to chart the course in such a way that the people on your team can answer these two basic questions: 1) “Where are we?” and 2) “What’s next?” Clarity is the pathway to execution; without it, the team drifts.

Here’s what you need to know as a leader: High-performing teams don’t just share a goal, they share a scoreboard. This doesn’t require complexity; it requires simplicity. When you chart the course and lay down markers, you provide much-needed guidance and direction. Click To Tweet

A milemarker doesn’t move the car; it keeps the driver from losing the road

Just as it’s critical that a driver not lose the road, it’s also important that the team you lead not lose its sense of direction. On the road, conditions can change; fog can set in, darkness can impair the driver, and detours can alter progress. But the leader keeps a steady hand and gives assurances that all is well.

As a leader, the markers you lay for your team make the difference. A proven leader can help navigate all types of terrain and keep the team on course.

Questions for the leader:

  1. What milemarkers have I clearly set for my team? Which ones are still implied?
  2. If someone asked you, “Where are we right now?” Could I answer in one sentence with evidence?
  3. What systems would keep progress moving even if I were not in the room?

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Watch Your Tone

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Leadership means setting a moral tone. – J. B. Pritzker

I am not sure about you, but I can vividly recall the days of my childhood when my mother would correct me concerning the tone of my language. I had just enough smarts not to use bad language in her presence, but I often fell short on my tone. 

I read a story about a young single mom with two children, ages five and three, who were constantly battling their bad language. She tried everything to get them to stop swearing. After many attempts with various methods, nothing worked. 

The frustrated mother ultimately decided to treat her boys the way her mom treated her. The next morning, the five-year-old got up, and he went into the kitchen. The mom said, “Honey, what would you like for breakfast this morning?”

He looked up and said, “Just give me some of those @#*&! Old wheaties.”

With that, she swatted the kid, and across the table he flew. His three-year-old brother, who was watching, was amazed. He had never seen anything like it. Then his mother looked at him and said, “And what do you want for breakfast?”

He looked at her with wide eyes and said, “Well, you can bet your #%@* I don’t want any of those %$*#@ Wheaties!”

Here’s a simple leadership principle worth noting: People often respond to our attitudes and actions more than to our words.

As a leader, your life revolves around people. How you interact with, relate to, inspire, and challenge people will always be a leadership skill you must develop. It’s not an option.

Alexander MacLearn said, “If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.” And this is our leadership commission. 

Over the years, I have learned that my tone, more than my words, has changed outcomes in many situations for the better. But it hasn’t always been easy. I tend to be impatient, which leads to frustration and, in turn, a tone that can be detrimental. 

Here’s what I have come to embrace in my leadership. It’s what I call the H.A.L.T. method. Give it a try and see how it works for you. 

Hush Up

The best deterrent to using words that I know will later come back to bite me is to listen to my mother’s voice in my head when she would tell me to hush up. It’s an exercise in self-preservation.

In leadership, it’s about timing – it’s knowing when to talk and when to hush up and listen. You will never regret the things you didn’t say in the heat of the moment, and it will buy you more time to thoughtfully think through the situation you are dealing with.

Ask questions

It’s safe to say that the times when my tone has been most unpleasant have been when I’ve let my emotions get the best of me and sounded off without all the facts. Chances are, that’s been your experience as well. 

But when I take the time to first understand and ask questions, my tone can be what it should be and what the other party deserves from me. There’s no substitute for being informed as a leader. It happens when you ask questions.

Listen

It should go without saying, but it works hand in hand with asking questions. You can master your tone with good information. This happens when you slow down and listen. By listening, you empower the other person and stay in control of your tone. 

Simply put, listen more, talk less. 

Take control

Here’s what I know: I am responsible for my tone. And as a leader, so are you. And yes, there will be times when your tone needs to be firm, when you offer corrections, and when you set high expectations, but it must always be done with the right attitude.

Coupled with the right words, your tone sets the standard for your leadership. Be wise with your words, be smart with your tone. Both matter, and both can raise or lower your level of leadership. Choose wisely.

©2026 Doug Dickerson

 

Who’s In Your Foxhole?

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In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends. – John Churtin Collins

Hang around in leadership long enough, and you will know the meaning of adversity. It comes with the territory. And every good leader knows the value of having a close-knit team around you to advance the mission and a healthy culture.

Not long ago, I was reading about the various types of foxholes as described by the infantry training manual. A soldier may find himself under duress, scrambling for cover with no time to prepare. Or if he has time, he can dig in a position only for himself. However, according to the manual, the best-case scenario is an arrangement in which three people can fight together in a single, larger foxhole.

The Army Field Manual explains the efficiency, stating, “One soldier can provide security; one can do priority work; and one can rest, eat, or perform maintenance. This allows the priority of work to be completed more quickly than in a one-soldier or two-soldier position.” 

There is something to be said about building camaraderie among your team that no amount of adversity could stand against. Before you accuse me of being totally naive, I do realize that a statement like this can seem far-fetched in many workplace cultures. I get it.

Before you can determine who belongs in the foxhole with you, I think it’s only fitting to identify those who don’t belong. Here are three, but there are more:

  • The Toxic- These are the manipulators, chronically negative, and pessimistic
  • Control Freaks – In the foxhole, it’s all about the mission of the team, not Lone Rangers
  • Slackers – Those who don’t carry their share of the responsibilities

Building the kind of culture no one would want to leave begins by being the kind of leader everyone wants to follow and be around. Click To TweetThat being said, as a leader, it is incumbent upon you to be developing the leaders around you; the leaders you want to share the foxhole with.

In the foxhole, here are a few of the qualities to look for.

Mission-Focused: From a military perspective, you are trusting the person in the foxhole with you with your life. In your workplace, while it’s not literally life and death, much is riding on your ability to trust one another and know that the person next to you is mission-focused. You want to know that their commitment and passion match yours.

Team Oriented: A cardinal rule of leadership is that it’s not about you. In the foxhole, you have to set aside your ego and not be concerned about who gets the credit for the wins along the way. So long as you are in the foxhole worrying about getting the credit for the wins, your contributions in the foxhole jeopardize the others in it. But when you set aside your ego and focus on the team and the mission, you can achieve great things.

Positive Attitude: Zig Ziglar once said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” In the foxhole, you want people with a contagious positive attitude. You want people beside you who won’t back down in the face of an obstacle or roadblock. You want people who are resilient with a can-do attitude.

Adaptability: Sometimes in the trenches of your workplace foxhole, things may not always follow your preconceived script. Things happen. It won’t always go the way you had hoped or planned. When you are in the foxhole and under pressure, you want a steady hand from a colleague who won’t be thrown off his game under pressure. You want calm, reliability, and grace under fire. You want someone who can adapt to changing conditions in real time.

So, while this is not an exhaustive list, I trust it will challenge you to think about who you want by your side in your foxhole. More importantly, use this list to self-reflect to see how well you embrace these qualities so that the person beside you can be assured they are in good hands.

 

©2026 Doug Dickerson

When Time Becomes The Teacher

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Don’t wait. The time will never be just right. – Napoleon Hill

After much anticipation and hype, here we are. Welcome to 2026! The rush of the holidays is in the rearview mirror, and credit card statements will soon arrive like the ghost of Christmas past. 

New Year’s resolutions will soon be put to the test, and you will quickly question the legitimacy of that new gym membership. The new year begins with much promise and good intentions, but will it last? 

Business consultant and author Michael LeBoef says, “Devoting a little of yourself to everything means committing a great deal of yourself to nothing.” And this is precisely the trap that you want to avoid. Your time matters, and so does how you use it. Be it resolutions, professional development goals, family priorities, etc., don’t commit chunks of your time to doing nothing of consequence.

I’d like to share a few things I’ve learned over the years about this topic, in hopes they will add value to your leadership journey. 

I had to learn the myth that everything matters equally.

I learned this principle from Gary Keller’s book, The One Thing. In it, he writes: “When everything feels urgent and important, everything seems equal. We become active and busy, but this doesn’t actually move us any closer to success. Activity is often unrelated to productivity, and busyness rarely takes care of business.” And this is such a necessary thing to learn in leadership.

Keller argues that a to-do list can easily lead you astray. More often than not, it’s simply the things you think you need to do, which often is nothing more than the first thing you thought of. Keller adds, “If your to-do list contains everything, then it’s probably taking you everywhere but where you really need to go.” In short, the most menial thing on your to-do list is not equal to the most important thing. Stop buying into the myth that all things are equal. They’re not. As Keller recommends, replace a “to-do” list with a “success list.” It will change your mindset and your focus. 

I had to learn that I choose my life by how I spend my time

I learned this fundamental principle from John Maxwell. In his book, Today Matters, he writes, “If you’re over the age of twenty-one, your life is what you’re making it. To change your life, you need to change your priorities.”

The playing field, over time, is level. We all get the same amount regardless of who we are. The priorities you set determine how you use your time. Changing our approach to our days makes all the difference between time well spent and time wasted. Maxwell framed it in three useful questions.

  1. What is required of me? When ordering priorities, always start with the requirement question and give it careful thought before moving on to the next question.
  2. What gives me the greatest return? As you grow as a leader, you will discover that some things will give you a greater return than others. What are they? 
  3. What gives me the greatest reward? If you only do what you must and what is effective, you will be highly productive, but you may not be content. It’s important to consider what gives you personal satisfaction. But don’t get these questions out of order. 

As a leader, you have to understand that you can’t, and shouldn’t, do everything. And this is why establishing your priorities is so important. You have to be your own timekeeper. Your time is too valuable to relinquish to someone else. 

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Time For Change

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude.” – Maya Angelou

How well do you embrace change? Research conducted by Pritchett finds that some 20% of people are change-friendly. They are willing to embrace change and are typically those who will drive it in their organizations. Another 50% are fence-sitters. They assume a neutral position, figuring out which way to lean. The remaining 30% are the resisters. They are antagonistic toward change and deliberately try to make it fail.

Even good change has been hard to come by over time. In many ways, we are settlers. We settle for what is, would not be burdened by learning something new, and would prefer to keep antiquated systems even when new ones would be more beneficial.

Take electricity, for example. I read that when electricity was first introduced in buildings and homes, people feared it. There were no safe circuits available. When electric lights were introduced to the White House in 1891, President Harrison feared electrocution and even avoided touching them.

A newspaper entry from 1900 reads, “Do we really need it when gas lights work just fine, and horses are easier than cars?” 

As we enter 2026, we stand on the brink of many changes. Some are known, but many are not. Over the years, here is what I have learned about change.

Your attitude toward change is more important than the change

The only constant is change. We can control some changes, but can’t control most of them. However, we always have control over our attitude toward it.

When it comes to change, your attitude will help you navigate it, and how you navigate it will determine your success and peace of mind. Be careful about the choices you make.

You can be a change agent or a change spoiler.

As a leader, you are uniquely positioned to be a change agent for good. To that end, the world needs you. But you can’t be a change agent for good from the sidelines. Granted, not every idea for change is good, but not every idea for change needs to be resisted.

Your role as a leader is to be engaged, have the wisdom to discern right from wrong, and be the voice of reason.

Your personal growth is attached to your ability to change

John Maxwell said, “Change is inevitable; growth is optional.” And this is the secret sauce of your success. Change is going to happen with or without you. Your growth is optional.

Maxwell also said, “People change when they hurt enough that they have to change, learn enough that they want to change, receive enough that they can change.” 

So, in what ways do you want to change in 2026? What are you willing to do to embrace change? What will you do to grow in 2026 and become the person God desires you to be? Ready or not, 2026 is here, and it’s time for a change.

Listen For The Magic

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When something exceeds your ability to understand how it works, it sort of becomes magical. – Jonathan Ive

Not long ago, I was walking into a store and, from a distance, I heard the very familiar sound of a bell ringing. There was no mistaking this sound. It’s one that I have heard many times before. It brought a smile to my face as it does each Christmas season. 

That familiar sound of the Salvation Army bell ringer is one that I was introduced to as a teenager many years ago. My father taught my siblings and me the importance of remembering others during seasons like this, and for several consecutive years, had us working as bell ringers during the Christmas season. 

It was an important lesson he wanted to impart to us about doing something tangible to help and serve others. It was an early introduction to framing my leadership later in life.

Not only did my father have us ringing bells for the Salvation Army out in the frigid temperatures several Christmas seasons in a row, but he also led by example. He was out there with us. He did this not because we needed the money, but because others did. 

The busyness of the season produces many casualties, least among them the ability to pause and reflect on the things that truly matter. The magic of Christmas gets lost in the stress over our Amazon packages arriving on time, company parties we’d rather skip, seeing relatives who drive us crazy, and fretting over whether you’ll get that latest “trending” toy that you will have at a yard sale next year. Sound familiar?

But amid all the noise, chaos, and stress comes an invitation to listen for the magic. But where do you find it? Here are a few ways it happens:

  • The magic happens when you listen for the faint sound of the bells.
  • The magic happens when you see the wonder of Christmas through a child’s eyes.
  • The magic comes when you deliver cookies at the local nursing home.
  • The magic happens when you provide a meal for an elderly neighbor.
  • The magic comes when you volunteer at your local food pantry.
  • The magic happens when you realize that the Christmas season doesn’t have to be perfect; you only need to be present.

Many years have passed since those bell-ringing days with the Salvation Army. It draws me back to where I learned some of life’s most important lessons. Those lessons didn’t come from a book or a lecture, but from a bell and a red kettle. 

As you navigate your way through the final days and hours of the Christmas season, I trust that it will be a magical time for you. I hope you will discover or rediscover the magic it offers.

 

©2025 Doug Dickerson 

The Blessing of Crooked Paths

Two roads diverged in the woods, and I took the one less traveled.- Robert Frost

Architect Frank Lloyd Wright once told of an incident that may have seemed insignificant at the time, but had a profound influence on the rest of his life. The winter he was 9, he walked across a snow-covered field with his reserved, no-nonsense uncle. As the two of them reached the far end of the field, his uncle stopped him.

He pointed out his own tracks in the snow, straight and true as an arrow’s flight, and then young Frank’s tracks meandering all over the field. “Notice how your tracks wander from the fence to the cattle, to the woods, and back again,” his uncle said. “And see how my tracks aim directly to my goal. There is an important lesson in that.”

Years later, the world-famous architect liked to tell how this experience had significantly shaped his philosophy of life. “I determined right then not to miss most things in life, as my uncle had.” 

Since I can remember, I’ve always had a knack for coloring outside the margins, and whenever possible, taking the backroads. As an avid photographer, my camera bag has been a constant companion along the crooked paths to see things most never do. 

In leadership, your path to personal growth and success is rarely a straight arrow trajectory. It’s more like a squigly path of many twists and turns that leads you to where you go. 

I can look back on my leadership journey, as I am sure you can too, and reflect on all of the different twists and turns it has taken over time.

But it is in the meandering and unexpected turns that you develop your sense of purpose. Meandering doesn’t reflect wasted time; it’s merely time invested in gaining a larger perspective on the journey. Crooked paths build character.

So what should your approach be to the crooked paths and meandering spirit? Allow this fellow journeyman to share a few thoughts with you.

Crooked paths give you greater insight

A natural tendency in leadership is to seek direct paths to desired destinations, thinking that this approach is the most efficient. And in some situations, that thinking holds.

But what if in your destination for your business or you personally, was filled with crooked paths, and that maybe these paths give you a greater appreciation for the destination because of the lessons you learned along the way? The insights you gain on crooked paths today will better equip you for future paths.

Crooked paths build resilience

One of the most crucial skill sets you will develop over time as a leader is resilience. It’s the one skill that will empower you to keep going when you feel like giving up. The crooked path is the secret sauce to building resilience. 

Over the years, here’s what I’ve come to learn. My crooked paths at times were chosen and intentional. At other times, they were detours, and sometimes they were the result of me somehow losing my way. Regardless of how you come to find yourself on the crooked path, embrace it as your opportunity to learn, grow, explore, and not let it go to waste. On every crooked road is a lesson to learn. 

So let me ask, what path are you on in your leadership journey? Don’t make the mistake of thinking that because you are on a crooked road and you feel like you are meandering, that you have somehow lost your way. It very well may be the right road, at the right time, to prepare you for the next season in your life. This is not wasted time; it’s preparation. Embrace the blessing on the crooked road.

©2025 Doug Dickerson

Practice Your Gratitude

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“…And I know it’s not much

But I’ve nothing else fit for a king

Except for a heart singing hallelujah

Hallelujah”

  • Lyrics from Gratitude by Brandon Lake

Every year at this time, I find myself in a season of reflection between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Each one now carries a much different meaning, especially since both of my parents are now at home in heaven. 

During this season, what are you thankful for? What memories do you still look back on that still bring a smile to your face?

I read about the Thompson family, who played a little game called “Say Something You’re Thankful For. It was supposed to be heartwarming. It was supposed to be meaningful. It was supposed to bring the family together.

Year after year, it had never succeeded. Not once.

This year, however, seven-year-old Lucas was determined to win…even though no one had ever explained how one wins gratitude.

Grandma started. “I’m thankful for my health,” she said, patting her knees as if they had personally carried her through the Great Depression.

Aunt Carol followed: “I’m thankful for my cat, Mr. Whiskers, whose presence fills my home with joy.” (The truth was that Mr. Whiskers filled her home with fur and passive-aggressive judgment, but who was keeping track?)

Then it was Jimmy’s turn. He had planned all week. He cleared his throat dramatically, stood up, and declared: “I’m thankful for…not being a turkey.” Everyone stared.

He continued, hands on his hips like a tiny philosopher: “Because if I were a turkey, this holiday would be very different for me.”

The table erupted in laughter- except Uncle Dave, who choked a little in his mashed potatoes. 

Also, Jimmy added, sensing his comedic momentum, “I’m thankful for Wi-Fi, juice boxes, and that Mom can’t make me eat green beans if I hide them under my napkin.” 

Mom sighed. Grandpa applauded. Aunt Carol looked like she wanted to adopt him. 

And for the first time in the Thompson family history, the game brought everyone together. Even if half of the togetherness involved checking under napkins for hidden vegetables.

As we gather around the table during this season with your loved ones, may we need to be less concerned about how perfect everything must be and practice gratitude for what matters most- those gathered at the table, cherishing every moment, and when we can, hiding vegetables.

©2025 Doug Dickerson

 

What I Heard is Not What She Said

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There is a difference between listening and waiting for your turn to speak. – Simon Sinek

Years ago, when our firstborn daughter was just a few months old, my wife called me at work one day to ask if I would stop by the store on my way home to pick up some rice cereal for our daughter’s bottle.

Our pediatrician had suggested this to my wife, and I was more than happy as a proud new father to help out. After all, how hard could it be to pick up some rice cereal?

When I arrived at the grocery store, I dutifully made my way to the cereal aisle. After a few minutes of comparing brands and prices, I settled on a choice I thought would not only please my wife but, more importantly, our new daughter. 

The only problem was that not only did I not pick out the right cereal, but I was not even on the right aisle in the store. When I arrived home with Popeye’s Puffed Rice cereal, not Gerber’s Rice cereal, she was less than pleased that I had made such a bone-headed mistake. 

The cereal that I was supposed to buy!

While my heart was in the right place, the choice was not. She put the cereal up in the pantry as a visual reminder for me going forward, that when I was sent to the store for something, I should be sure to understand what I was going for and how important it is that I listen to her. 

I can’t say that over the years I have always returned from the store with exactly what she wanted, and at times I tried to explain that I had no idea how certain items just happened to “fall into the cart” and end up bringing them home. 

I’ve learned that there is, at times, a vast difference between what she said, what I heard, and the outcome. When it comes to listening, connecting the dots doesn’t always come easy in marriage, in your leadership, in your workplace, or in how you lead the people around you.

In leadership, listening is your relational equity. It’s what will separate you from those who just want to talk and be heard. 

John Maxwell framed it this way when he said, “ Earn the right to be heard by listening to others. Seek to understand a situation before making judgments about it.” And this is such a powerful thought. Most leaders are working hard to earn the right to speak when they should be working hard to earn the right to be heard by listening. 

Because it’s an essential tool in your leadership arsenal, here are a few of my suggestions for listening. See how these resonate with you.

Lean in and make eye contact

When in conversation with those you lead, make a point of leaning in and making eye contact. This intentional act signals that nothing is more important to you in that moment than what that person has to say. You can learn more about your people — and learn more from them—when you lean in and listen. 

There is a time and place for you to speak to your people. But you are earning the right to be heard when you listen. Click To Tweet

Practice mirroring and clarifying questions

When in conversation with another person, not only should you practice the art of leaning in, but, when appropriate, also mirror and ask clarifying questions. 

By mirroring what the other person has said, you demonstrate that you are fully engaged and truly listening. By asking clarifying questions, you are preventing potential misunderstandings. These two simple practices can dramatically remove potential pitfalls between what was said and what was heard. 

By practicing these two simple techniques, you can improve your listening skills and reduce misunderstandings that lead to unnecessary conflict. It will improve workplace culture, and it will keep you off the cereal aisle.

 

©2025 Doug Dickerson