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Leadership Lessons From Diamond Head

Doug at the top of Diamond Head

It’s not the mountain that we conquer, but ourselves. – Sir Edmund Hillary

I was recently on vacation on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. It was a splendid vacation and exceeded every expectation. As one who enjoys the outdoors, Hawaii is a paradise. In addition to exploring a cave, hiking to numerous waterfalls, and lighthouses, I also made the notorious climb to the top of Diamond Head.

In my younger years, this would not have been one of the harder climbs that I have taken. But at my age now, it was more of a challenge than I expected. On top of that, I was fighting a bad head cold and congestion. Our reservation time for the hike was in the middle of the afternoon, so, with the heat added to the mix, I had my work cut out for me.

For those unfamiliar with the Diamond Head hike, you make your climb on a paved trail that eventually turns into switchbacks on the ascent to the top. The final section is a steep set of stairs that takes you to the summit.

A few times on the climb, I was offered the sympathetic “It’s OK if you want to go back down and not do it,” knowing that my breathing was difficult at times. But I was determined to finish the climb and reach the summit. I certainly didn’t set any record for the best time getting there, but I did. And it was worth it!

The climb to the top of Diamond Head reminded me of a few important leadership lessons that I benefited from. Perhaps they will speak to you as well. 

Great views come after great challenges

The views from the peak of Diamond Head are breathtaking. The view was worth every step, every stop, every pause to catch my breath, and every opportunity given to turn back.

In life and in leadership, here’s what I know: significant impact and making a difference come not by taking the easy path, but by taking the hard ones. 

Some decisions you make are hard, some conversations are difficult, and at times your perseverance will be tested. It comes with the territory. But you will never experience the reward of the summit view if you give up. It’s when you embrace the challenge that you get the reward of the view from the top.

Getting to the top will be hard

I chose to hike to the top of Diamond Head not because it was hard but because of what I knew awaited me when I got there.

I could have been discouraged by little kids outpacing me, the heat, or the fact that the climb exposed the uncomfortable truth that I am no longer in the athletic shape of my youth. 

In leadership, distractions are a constant companion. We have to prioritize our day, make important decisions, and not get distracted from keeping our eye on the mission before us. In other words, the struggle is real. And sometimes the obstacles and struggles appear larger than they truly are. 

As I made the climb, I had to keep reminding myself that it would all be worth it when I reached the top. I had to tune out the distractions around me and the physical discomfort inside me and press on. Once I was at the top and enjoying the view, the struggles were out of mind.

We are better together

At the summit, the view is spectacular. But another part worth noting is the encouragement hikers gave each other along the way, and the celebrations with families and friends, taking pictures together at the top. 

Leadership is not about reaching the top alone. Successful leaders help and encourage one another, and go out of their way to create a culture where everyone reaches the top. Click To TweetIt’s not a competition, it’s a shared journey where leaders want to see everyone win.

It’s been said that a true leader measures success not by how high they climb, but by how many people they bring with them. 

Diamond Head reminded me that leadership is, in many ways, a climb; it can be hard and steep, and not everyone will want to make it with you. But when you persevere, you will enjoy a view unlike any other.

 

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Have You Stopped To Smell The Roses?

Photo Credit: Doug Dickerson

As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. – Ben Hogan

Part of my morning routine before heading to work each morning is to stop and look at the roses in the flower bed at the front of my house. I do this every morning. It’s a ritual.

My fascination with roses began decades ago, when, as a teenager, I worked at a garden center. Each winter, we built a large greenhouse on the property, and we spent those months preparing for spring. In the greenhouse, we potted roses by the thousands. Come spring, we were ready, and our customers would come from far and near to purchase our roses. As did I. It was then that my affection for roses began, and I’ve always maintained an abundance of them in our flower beds.

It seems like I have known the phrase “stop and smell the roses” for as long as I can remember. But I’ve never given much thought to the origin of the phrase.

It seems to be a fairly modern phrase. The core idea of stopping to appreciate life’s pleasures dates back centuries. The Latin phrase carpe diem, “seize the day”, or as the 17th-century poet Robert Herrick wrote: “Gather ye rosebuds while ye may…” conveys the idea of pausing on life’s journey.

The exact phrasing “stop and smell the roses” seems to have originated in the early to mid-twentieth century. Ironically enough, the phrase became popular in golf culture when professional golfer Walter Hagen was often associated with sentiments encouraging people to enjoy life beyond work.

Speaking of enjoying life beyond work, I don’t have to be the one to tell you how hectic life can be. It seems life is busier now for most than ever before. Which brings me back to my title question: Have you stopped to smell the roses? There’s nothing magical about my morning routine to observe the roses in the flower bed. But here are a few things I’ve learned.

Set the tone for your day with intentionality

The first decision of my day, walking out the door, is to take in something positive and beautiful. It’s an intentional act that focuses me on something I really admire and appreciate that brings me a small degree of happiness.

Regardless of what the day brings, I begin it with something no one can take from me. What about you? What are you intentional about that guards your peace of mind and sets the tone for your day? Or do you just take it as it comes? 

Leadership Tip: The first decisions of your day will often set the tone for the rest of it. Choose wisely.

Don’t get distracted by the thorns

While working in the garden center, it was just part of the job to get cut by the thorns while potting the roses. Call it an occupational hazard.

In your daily leadership, you will deal with thorny situations from time to time. It comes with the territory. There may be times when you feel overwhelmed by the pressures of running your business and a myriad of other issues that cross your desk. But my pause each morning is not to admire the thorns, it’s to admire and appreciate what I see all around them. 

Leadership Tip: We can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose our response. 

Pause with purpose

My morning routine works for me. It’s a deliberate pause. It forces me to hold off on the temptation to get in the car, fight the traffic, think about ten things on my mind that I need to do when I get there, etc. It’s a strategic pause.

As a leader, when you take time in your day to pause and take a few deep breaths, you can feel a reset. Regardless of how busy it can be, a pause with purpose can be refreshing.

Leadership Tip: When you embrace pausing during your day, you can gain fresh perspectives you might otherwise miss.

Have you stopped to smell the roses?

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Who Are You Cheering For?

 

Scottie Scheffeler on the practice range.
Photo Courtesy: Doug Dickerson

We rise by lifting others. – Robert Ingersoll

Not long ago, I was in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina (not far from where I live) for the Pro-Am event at The Heritage golf tournament. It was the day before the actual competition began. I have been a golf fan all my life, and seeing many of the world’s top players up close was a lot of fun, including world #1 Scottie Scheffler.

What was also enjoyable to watch was the camaraderie among the players during a non-competitive day. Watching the players on the large putting green, talking and joking with one another, was entertaining. 

While I do have my favorite golfer that I cheer for most weeks, having those brief, friendly encounters with many of them has softened my perspective on them as I watch them on television going forward.

In far too many workplaces, we see cultures of unhealthy competition instead of healthy collaboration. Getting ahead is more important to some than getting along.

However, it will come as no surprise that productivity and workplace culture significantly improve with recognition and with seeing each other as colleagues rather than competitors.

In a Nectar State of the Workplace survey, respondents weighed in by affirming the following:

  • 83.6% of employees surveyed said that recognition drives their motivation to succeed at work
  • 77.9% of employees surveyed said they would be more productive if their employer recognized them more frequently
  • 81.9 % of employees said that recognition for contributions improves employee engagement

These statistics should not surprise any leader who sees, recognizes, and values their team members. Good leaders understand this and make it a practice.

Let me ask you, who are you cheering for? Can you celebrate the successes and wins of those around you, even when not experiencing one yourself? 

As a leader, your ability to cheer on those around you happens when these three things happen.

You can cheer others when you set aside your ego

The leadership lesson here is simple – it’s not about you. You will be a more secure leader when you acknowledge and embrace this fundamental premise of leadership. When you can check your ego at the door, you win and are now positioned to cheer those around you with no hidden agenda or motive. 

You can cheer others when you value the team over yourself

Your team will succeed when they see what they do as something greater than themselves. While roles, responsibilities, and contributions will vary, the team wins when each person values the team over self. When you work against a colleague, you work against your team, and ultimately, against yourself.

You can cheer others when you don’t care who gets the credit

Lao Tzu said, “A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves.” And this is the beauty of your role as a leader- to shine the light on others as the wins are celebrated. When you come together as a team and work together, you can accomplish so much more when you are not concerned about who gets the credit. 

Who are you cheering for today?

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Understanding Your Legacy

Credit: Google Images

Legacy is not what you accomplish. Legacy is what others accomplish because of you. – Mark Batterson

For the longest time, I often associated legacy with something I build and how I’d like to be remembered once I’m gone. My thought process was somehow connected to my actions, compounded over time, and hopefully, all the good things outweighed the negative.

Perhaps you have similar feelings about what it means to leave a legacy. It can be connected to being a good family person, leaving a nice inheritance, raising good children, etc. All of these and more are typical things we consider worthy of a memorable legacy.

When I consider the impact of legacies, I look to both my grandfathers. Both were survivors of the Great Depression and began their lives in humble circumstances. Both were hard workers and overcame a lot of adversity. Both were accomplished in their respective occupations – one a top executive in a fabric company, the other a minister. Both influenced me in various ways, and I think about them often.

One of the key rules of leadership that must be understood is that it’s not about you. It’s about others and serving others. If you think it’s about you or your title, you are not a leader – yet. And herein lies the dilemma about understanding what legacy building is all about. As a leader, if you want to build a legacy that matters, here are a few things you must consider.

Legacy is not reputation building; it’s people building

As a leader in the education space for more than three decades, there’s nothing more rewarding for me than those moments when students return to thank me for the impact I had on their lives in the brief time I had them. Or when former students walk their child through the doors of the same school, and those legacy moments become generational.

You and I can spend our lives building our reputations and hope that someone will remember us, or we can pour our lives into people, empowering them to accomplish more than we ever could.

“If you love and serve people,” said Emerson, “you cannot, by hiding or stratagem, escape the remuneration.” As you invest in others, serve them, and develop the leader within them, your legacy will be secure. Not in brick and mortar but in hearts and lives that will outlive you.

Legacy is not about your success; it’s about succession

A traditional understanding of leaving a legacy in many circles is measured by certain standards of success- wealth creation, etc. But a true and lasting legacy is about succession. 

What others accomplish because of you is the result of your leadership. In other words, how did you empower others? What investments in human capital did you make to equip and add value to those in your sphere of influence? Were other people your priority? Did you concede the spotlight by putting others in it?

“A legacy lives on in people, not things,” says John Maxwell, “Too often leaders put their energy into organizations, buildings, systems, or other lifeless objects. But only people live on after we are gone.” 

As you take a moment to reflect on your legacy, consider the high calling of leadership and what is important to you. Think about how you are building others and a leadership legacy that endures in them. 

How will your legacy be defined?

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Stay in Your Lane

The “Miralce Mile” race between Roger Banister and John Landy

Successful people maintain a positive focus in life no matter what is going on around them. – Jack Canfield

I came across an interesting story about Roger Bannister not long ago. He was the first man in the world to run a mile in under 4 minutes. That was in May 1954. The next month, Australian John Landy broke that record by 1.4 seconds.

In August 1954, the two fastest runners in the world met for a historic race at the British Empire Games in Vancouver, Canada. The race was dubbed “The Miracle Mile,”  the “Race of the Century” and the “Dream Race.”

As Bannister and Landy turned for the last lap, Landy was ahead and looked certain to win, but as he neared the finish line, he lost focus and allowed his mind to wander about Bannister’s position. Unable to stand the strain, he finally looked back over his shoulder, and as he did, his stride faltered, and Bannister passed him to break the tape and win the race.

How that race ended is an example of what happens when we lose our focus. As leaders, it’s not how you start the race that matters, but it’s how you finish. 

 How you navigate the ins and outs of your leadership is important. In many respects, it’s about learning how to stay in your lane. Why is this important? Why should we be mindful of staying in our own lane? Here are a few tips that I think will help.

Staying in your lane keeps you focused

Staying in your lane keeps you focused on your priorities and responsibilities. As a leader, you have certain duties and things that fall under your purview that require your attention. But not everyone’s business is your business. Understanding what needs your expertise and work and what needs your opinion, is something you need to learn as a leader. Click To Tweet

When you drift out of your lane, you tend to be in places where you don’t belong and end up meddling in ways that are unhealthy. It can lead to resentment and cause more damage than good, and when the crash happens, it will be your fault. Stay in your lane!

Staying in your lane protects boundaries

Staying in your lane protects boundaries that must be respected. Just because you have an opinion on what’s happening two lanes over from you doesn’t mean that you need to swerve over and weigh in on it – unless you’re asked. Nothing will break down morale and hurt the culture in your organization faster than when someone gets out of their lane to barge in on someone else. And consider this: When you leave your lane of responsibility, what’s not getting done in yours that should be?  

Staying in your lane accelerates progress

The logical outcome of staying in your lane is that everyone is moving forward at optimal speed. When you stay in your lane, focused on being your best where you are, doing what you do, means everyone else has the time, space, and energy to do the same. When you resist the temptation to change lanes or drift across drawn lines, it gives you and those around you the opportunity to move forward faster.

Final Thoughts

Staying in your lane can be hard. It’s too easy to get distracted and to lose focus. It doesn’t mean you walk around with blinders on and are oblivious to what’s going on around you. There may be times when a lane change is necessary to help in the moment, but then you get back in yours. There has to be a degree of flexibility here, but by and large, when you stay in your lane, crashes are avoided, and everyone moves forward together.

 

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Do You Have a Winning Attitude?

Credit: Google Images

Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude. – Zig Ziglar

I read a story once by Michael Hodgin about two Kentucky racing stable owners who had developed a rivalry.

Each spring, they both entered a horse in a local steeplechase. One of them thought that having a professional rider might give his horse an edge in the race, so he hired a hotshot jockey.

Well, the day of the race finally came, and as usual, their horses were leading the race right down to the last fence. But the final fence was too much for both of the horses. Both of them fell, and both riders were thrown. But that didn’t stop the professional jockey. He remounted and easily won the race.

When he got back to the stable, he found the horse owner fuming with rage. The jockey really didn’t understand the owner’s behavior, because he won the race. So the jockey asked, “What’s the matter with you? I won the race, didn’t I?” 

The red-faced owner nodded, “Oh yes, you won the race. But you won it on the wrong horse!”

The determination of the jockey is admirable despite the fact that he made that critical mistake. 

In leadership, you will be regularly challenged by your attitude. It comes with the territory. Sometimes the attitude challenges that we face are the result of our own poor choices. At other times, our attitude is challenged by external forces beyond our control.

In the book Winning The War in Your Mind, Craig Groescel writes, “Our lives are always moving in the direction of our strongest thoughts. What we think shapes who we are.” And this is precisely why our attitudes matter. Our thoughts and attitudes are moving us in a certain direction. The question is: Are you headed in the right direction?

Poor attitude choices can be a detriment to your leadership. Your attitude is basically the thermostat by which your team members adjust. When you are upbeat and positive, others tend to adopt that attitude. The same holds true if it’s negative. So, as a leader, what posture should you take with your attitude? Here are a few simple approaches worth consideration.

Guard your thoughts

This first piece of advice is all about your discipline as a leader. It’s a profoundly simple piece of advice. And it’s a profoundly difficult discipline to master.  But much is riding on the outcome.

I would like for you to think of guarding your thoughts not from a defensive posture, which we’ve all been accustomed to, but from a proactive posture.

When it comes to guarding our thoughts, what does a proactive posture look like? Here are a few examples:

  • Practice gratitude and random acts of kindness
  • Prayer or meditation
  • Volunteer/ serve others
  • Exercise/walks 

When your thoughts and actions are others-centered and when you are intentional about what you choose to watch and listen to, then you are, in a proactive way, guarding your thoughts. You have less time to be self-absorbed and more time to focus on others.

Guard your company

We don’t always control what happens to us, but we do control how we will respond. This is crucial to understand. 

When you are proactive about guarding your mind in the ways that I have already outlined, the next thing you need to do is guard your company. Here’s a truth you must embrace: Not everyone belongs in your circle. 

As a leader, you will have many interactions with people within and outside your organization. These are generally tied to your specific duties as a leader. 

But when it comes to your inner circle- the people closest to you by choice- you must guard your company. To be clear, I am not advocating being a snob. I am, however, saying that to protect and guard your attitude, you can’t allow others with poor attitudes into your inner circle, who could potentially drag you down. Your winning attitude is too valuable and must be protected.

Final Thoughts

Possessing a winning attitude takes work, discipline, and determination. It is incumbent upon you to be proactive and wise in your choices. A winning attitude is attainable, but you must guard your thoughts and your company to maintain it.

©2026 Doug Dickerson

 

Strong At The Broken Places

 

Credit: Google Images

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places. – Ernest Hemingway, 

As one of our most popular and most consequential presidents, Abraham Lincoln led the United States through one of the darkest times in American History. The Civil War weighed heavily upon Lincoln as he carried the burden of preserving the Union and ending slavery.

Lincoln struggled deeply with depression. Friends described seasons where he could barely function. He openly wept. After the death of his son Willie in 1862, he was shattered. Witnesses said he sobbed uncontrollably and would visit the crypt alone.

Unlike many leaders who hide their brokenness, Lincoln didn’t pretend invincibility. He spoke openly about his sadness, told stories that revealed his inner turmoil, and led with humility rather than bravado. In one letter, he confessed, “I am now the most miserable man living.” 

Craig Groeschel said, “ You can’t heal from a wound you ignore. It may feel hard, but don’t be afraid to be transparent and vulnerable. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom.” And this is the challenge we find ourselves in at our broken places. 

Research published on Calm.com (https://tinyurl.com/4cnmbbzf ) offers telling insights into the state of mind of American executives. Here are some key findings:

  • While nearly nine in 10 executives (87%) report their mental/emotional health as “good” or better, almost half (48%) acknowledge feeling overwhelmed, and about a quarter (24%) report leadership stress showing up as anxiety or depression.
  • 50% say they have considered stepping down from their leadership role, while two-in-three have considered a career change and taking a sabbatical.
  • Only one in four reports their “mental battery” is fully charged.
  • 42% say they actively shield their teams from their stresses.
  • Executives identify two unique leadership pressures as the predominant stress drivers: responsibility for others’ livelihoods (63%) and a sense of having “no off switch” (54%).

While many leaders actively shield their teams from their stresses, what else could they be shielding? The broken places will never heal so long as they remain cloaked in a false sense of bravery and duty to the detriment of one’s own mental health and well-being.

Circling back to Lincoln, here are a few observations that you might find useful as you consider your own broken places in your leadership. 

His emotional honesty deepened his moral clarity

Coming to terms with the struggles and challenges you face in your leadership is not a sign of weakness, but, as Craig Groeschel said, a sign of wisdom. Being vulnerable and honest opens the door for a new level of your leadership to emerge. 

For Lincoln, moral clarity was heightened not in covering up his struggles but by embracing them. Moral clarity was forged in heartache and tears. This type of vulnerability doesn’t diminish your leadership; it solidifies it. 

Think about your broken places. In what ways are you allowing those vulnerable places to forge the leader in you and give you a greater sense of moral clarity?

His vulnerability did not weaken his authority- it strengthened it

Many leaders make the mistake of believing that their vulnerability will cause them to lose credibility and standing among their peers or team. They simply do not see how the risk could be worth it.

For Lincoln, who endured unimaginable responsibilities of national importance alongside great personal loss, it was his pathway to his own healing and that of the nation. Neither came easily, and both with great cost. But his leadership authority was defined by both.

Here is what I know: leaders today are overwhelmed and stressed like never before. Many are suffering in silence, smiling as they go about their days. Some are ready to throw in the towel and call it quits. 

Here is my message to you: You are not alone. It’s OKAY to not be OKAY. Your broken places are stepping stones to take your leadership to the next level. And, it’s OKAY to ask for help. We are not meant to do this alone. We are stronger together.

 

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Putting Down Milemarkers

Ancient Roman Milemarker. Credit: Google Images

Anyone can steer the ship, but it takes a leader to chart the course. – John Maxwell

If you have ever driven along any highway or interstate system, then you are a beneficiary of an ancient marking system for roads and travel. 

The idea of mile markers dates back to the Roman Empire. The Romans built an enormous road system and placed stone pillars called “milestones” every Roman mile. The primary reason for the markers was straightforward: to let travellers know how far they were from Rome.

The Romans often listed the name of the emperor who built or repaired the road. This was less about convenience and more about imperial power and control. Rome wanted everyone to know who owned the roads.

During the Middle Ages, after Rome fell, the roads remained, but the markers and distances faded. “A day’s walk”, or “half a league,” were terms used in its place. As trade picked up, some regions reintroduced distance stones, but there was no universal system. 

In the 1600s and 1700s, Britain standardized the statute mile (5,280 ft). Turnpike roads began installing mileposts. These helped travelers, mail coaches, and toll collection. This system heavily influenced our system in the U.S. 

In the early 18th and 19th centuries, milestones became highly functional and uniform. Today, they are essential for navigation, maintenance, and emergencies (for example, an accident at mile marker 135).

John Maxwell said, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way.” And this is one of the guiding principles in leadership. Here are a few key ideas for your consideration as a leader. 

Leaders make progress measurable

Just as a traveler knows their location on the highway by mile markers, good leaders set measurable standards for progress. They help turn vision into clear benchmarks so that individuals or teams are not left guessing whether they are winning or losing. 

Progress needs to be measured, and milestones or benchmarks provide leaders and teams with the information they need to move forward.

Execution improves when everyone can answer two simple questions

Your responsibility as a leader is to chart the course in such a way that the people on your team can answer these two basic questions: 1) “Where are we?” and 2) “What’s next?” Clarity is the pathway to execution; without it, the team drifts.

Here’s what you need to know as a leader: High-performing teams don’t just share a goal, they share a scoreboard. This doesn’t require complexity; it requires simplicity. When you chart the course and lay down markers, you provide much-needed guidance and direction. Click To Tweet

A milemarker doesn’t move the car; it keeps the driver from losing the road

Just as it’s critical that a driver not lose the road, it’s also important that the team you lead not lose its sense of direction. On the road, conditions can change; fog can set in, darkness can impair the driver, and detours can alter progress. But the leader keeps a steady hand and gives assurances that all is well.

As a leader, the markers you lay for your team make the difference. A proven leader can help navigate all types of terrain and keep the team on course.

Questions for the leader:

  1. What milemarkers have I clearly set for my team? Which ones are still implied?
  2. If someone asked you, “Where are we right now?” Could I answer in one sentence with evidence?
  3. What systems would keep progress moving even if I were not in the room?

©2026 Doug Dickerson

Watch Your Tone

Credit: Google Images

Leadership means setting a moral tone. – J. B. Pritzker

I am not sure about you, but I can vividly recall the days of my childhood when my mother would correct me concerning the tone of my language. I had just enough smarts not to use bad language in her presence, but I often fell short on my tone. 

I read a story about a young single mom with two children, ages five and three, who were constantly battling their bad language. She tried everything to get them to stop swearing. After many attempts with various methods, nothing worked. 

The frustrated mother ultimately decided to treat her boys the way her mom treated her. The next morning, the five-year-old got up, and he went into the kitchen. The mom said, “Honey, what would you like for breakfast this morning?”

He looked up and said, “Just give me some of those @#*&! Old wheaties.”

With that, she swatted the kid, and across the table he flew. His three-year-old brother, who was watching, was amazed. He had never seen anything like it. Then his mother looked at him and said, “And what do you want for breakfast?”

He looked at her with wide eyes and said, “Well, you can bet your #%@* I don’t want any of those %$*#@ Wheaties!”

Here’s a simple leadership principle worth noting: People often respond to our attitudes and actions more than to our words.

As a leader, your life revolves around people. How you interact with, relate to, inspire, and challenge people will always be a leadership skill you must develop. It’s not an option.

Alexander MacLearn said, “If you would win the world, melt it, do not hammer it.” And this is our leadership commission. 

Over the years, I have learned that my tone, more than my words, has changed outcomes in many situations for the better. But it hasn’t always been easy. I tend to be impatient, which leads to frustration and, in turn, a tone that can be detrimental. 

Here’s what I have come to embrace in my leadership. It’s what I call the H.A.L.T. method. Give it a try and see how it works for you. 

Hush Up

The best deterrent to using words that I know will later come back to bite me is to listen to my mother’s voice in my head when she would tell me to hush up. It’s an exercise in self-preservation.

In leadership, it’s about timing – it’s knowing when to talk and when to hush up and listen. You will never regret the things you didn’t say in the heat of the moment, and it will buy you more time to thoughtfully think through the situation you are dealing with.

Ask questions

It’s safe to say that the times when my tone has been most unpleasant have been when I’ve let my emotions get the best of me and sounded off without all the facts. Chances are, that’s been your experience as well. 

But when I take the time to first understand and ask questions, my tone can be what it should be and what the other party deserves from me. There’s no substitute for being informed as a leader. It happens when you ask questions.

Listen

It should go without saying, but it works hand in hand with asking questions. You can master your tone with good information. This happens when you slow down and listen. By listening, you empower the other person and stay in control of your tone. 

Simply put, listen more, talk less. 

Take control

Here’s what I know: I am responsible for my tone. And as a leader, so are you. And yes, there will be times when your tone needs to be firm, when you offer corrections, and when you set high expectations, but it must always be done with the right attitude.

Coupled with the right words, your tone sets the standard for your leadership. Be wise with your words, be smart with your tone. Both matter, and both can raise or lower your level of leadership. Choose wisely.

©2026 Doug Dickerson

 

Who’s In Your Foxhole?

Image Courtesy of Google Photos

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends. – John Churtin Collins

Hang around in leadership long enough, and you will know the meaning of adversity. It comes with the territory. And every good leader knows the value of having a close-knit team around you to advance the mission and a healthy culture.

Not long ago, I was reading about the various types of foxholes as described by the infantry training manual. A soldier may find himself under duress, scrambling for cover with no time to prepare. Or if he has time, he can dig in a position only for himself. However, according to the manual, the best-case scenario is an arrangement in which three people can fight together in a single, larger foxhole.

The Army Field Manual explains the efficiency, stating, “One soldier can provide security; one can do priority work; and one can rest, eat, or perform maintenance. This allows the priority of work to be completed more quickly than in a one-soldier or two-soldier position.” 

There is something to be said about building camaraderie among your team that no amount of adversity could stand against. Before you accuse me of being totally naive, I do realize that a statement like this can seem far-fetched in many workplace cultures. I get it.

Before you can determine who belongs in the foxhole with you, I think it’s only fitting to identify those who don’t belong. Here are three, but there are more:

  • The Toxic- These are the manipulators, chronically negative, and pessimistic
  • Control Freaks – In the foxhole, it’s all about the mission of the team, not Lone Rangers
  • Slackers – Those who don’t carry their share of the responsibilities

Building the kind of culture no one would want to leave begins by being the kind of leader everyone wants to follow and be around. Click To TweetThat being said, as a leader, it is incumbent upon you to be developing the leaders around you; the leaders you want to share the foxhole with.

In the foxhole, here are a few of the qualities to look for.

Mission-Focused: From a military perspective, you are trusting the person in the foxhole with you with your life. In your workplace, while it’s not literally life and death, much is riding on your ability to trust one another and know that the person next to you is mission-focused. You want to know that their commitment and passion match yours.

Team Oriented: A cardinal rule of leadership is that it’s not about you. In the foxhole, you have to set aside your ego and not be concerned about who gets the credit for the wins along the way. So long as you are in the foxhole worrying about getting the credit for the wins, your contributions in the foxhole jeopardize the others in it. But when you set aside your ego and focus on the team and the mission, you can achieve great things.

Positive Attitude: Zig Ziglar once said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” In the foxhole, you want people with a contagious positive attitude. You want people beside you who won’t back down in the face of an obstacle or roadblock. You want people who are resilient with a can-do attitude.

Adaptability: Sometimes in the trenches of your workplace foxhole, things may not always follow your preconceived script. Things happen. It won’t always go the way you had hoped or planned. When you are in the foxhole and under pressure, you want a steady hand from a colleague who won’t be thrown off his game under pressure. You want calm, reliability, and grace under fire. You want someone who can adapt to changing conditions in real time.

So, while this is not an exhaustive list, I trust it will challenge you to think about who you want by your side in your foxhole. More importantly, use this list to self-reflect to see how well you embrace these qualities so that the person beside you can be assured they are in good hands.

 

©2026 Doug Dickerson